


Deliverance

by Lynxrider



Series: Substitute Soul [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Body Horror, Brotherly Bonding, Chimeras, Ed gets another lil' brother, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Cannon Divergence, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Family, Fluff, Gen, Genderfluid Character, Growing Up, Homunculi, Love and Loss and Love Again, M/M, Manipulation, Martial Arts, Mild Gore, Mild Sexual Content, Obsession, Possessive Behavior, Protective!Edward, Slow Burn, Stalking, The third Elric Brother, Truth isn't very nice, alchemy is magical, no worse than cannon, stolen Soul, transformations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2018-11-13 20:42:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 124,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11193018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lynxrider/pseuds/Lynxrider
Summary: In the greatest tragedy Edward would ever face he creates something he did not intend, his actions having farther reaching consequences than he could have ever imagined.Or, the story of how the Elric Brothers Two became the Elric Brothers Three.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will be based on both the FMA and FMA:B series both. Admittedly, it isn't the happiest of tales, but neither is Fullmetal Alchemist in general. There will be many ups and downs, but our boys will find their way in the end. I hope you all enjoy the ride. 
> 
> I'm migrating this work, so I've already got it written, just need to edit. I'll be updating frequently and appreciate any encouragement you guys can give me. Thanks for reading!

The last thing I remember of my world is lying down next to the love of my life, the man I would marry, and falling asleep in his arms. I was warm, safe, and dreaming of days to come with a contented smile on my face, heart finally at peace after so many years of hardship and future so, so bright. If I had known what was to come…

I wouldn’t have wasted those final moments with sleep. I would have kissed him. I would have told him how much I loved him, how much I would miss his voice in the years to come. That I was sorry, and that he had to be strong. For me.

But the tragedy that came next would change the course of my life forever, and that last, perfect moment would be the end of my peace for a long, long time. 

This was the start of my fate intertwined with two boys who in the end, would restore for me as much, if not more, than they destroyed. I would learn that the love between brothers could be stronger than any tragedy this world could conceive to break it, and that very same love would save us all.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

An unpleasant cold seeped into my bones, permeating my entire body and pulling me from my peaceful slumber. I tried to ignore it, but as time passed the sensation became more and more insistent. Thinking I might be dreaming, I attempted to turn over and bury myself further into the covers to banish the chill. 

I couldn’t move. 

Alarm seeped into me slowly as I struggled to become more aware, the cold turning sharp as needles against my skin. Sound intruded now, a white noise of rushing winds drowning out everything else, even the sudden racing of my heart. The cold became more distinct, more recognizable as I realized it was water freezing my nerve endings and trickling down my skin. I was lying in the rain. 

Other senses came back to me. As the paralysis eased a little, I inhaled deeply in shock. A pungent odor stung my nose, like the crispness of wet grass. But it was wrong, almost unrecognizably sharp, as if my senses had been enhanced, enough so that it coated my tongue in bitterness. Pushing the sensations aside for the moment, I focused on trying to clear the fog slowing my thoughts and figure out where I was.

Outside. But how? I struggled to open my eyes but they were heavy and unresponsive, as if I’d had way too much to drink. Only, I hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol for months, and it had been years before that I had stopped overindulging enough to lose my memories. 

The wind picked up, rustling the grass and tugging at my damp clothes. A violent shiver tore through my frame once again and panic bit at me sharply as the signals to move died a swift death in my mind before they could reach my limbs.

Move dammit! Was I suffering from hypothermia? Was my body already shutting down, _dying?_ No, I  _ can’t, _ it’s not just my life in jeopardy. I needed to  _ move.  _

NOW!

A clap of thunder went off like an explosion, adrenaline to spiking horrifically through me as it shook the earth. My eyes snapped open with a startled gasp, nerves sparking as if I’d been struck by lightning. The pain was such that I could swear my vision had gone red for a moment, blinding me to all else. 

But the blindness did not ease, even after the red had gone.

With frantic jerks of my head and rattling gasps I looked around and saw…nothing. I could feel the rain falling into my open eyes, but I couldn't see! I clumsily sat up, at least relieved that the spell on my limbs was lifted.

I scanned my surroundings and realized that my problem wasn't blindness; it was the fact that it was night. They sky was a black abyss above me, impossible to look into for the stinging rain. Slowly, my eyes adjusted to the darkness and I began taking in details around me, calming slightly. 

I was lying in a grassy field, the blades churned by the thrashing of the rain. I could feel the mud beneath me cling to my limbs and slip through my fingers, though I could feel little else through the numbness. Visibility was poor, but I could faintly make out a light, perhaps half a mile from myself that could be a house. I fingered the clothes I was wearing in confusion, the t-shirt much too large for me and completely unfamiliar. More startling than that, I was barefoot and I didn’t even think I had on any underclothes. It was more than alarming, and I wanted to examine my state further, but another frigid gust of air had me focusing on more important matters than my strange attire.

How on earth did I get out in the countryside? I lived in the middle of a city; there wasn't country in a twenty-mile radius in any direction. Another violent shiver worked through my body and I awkwardly folded my leaden arms across my chest for warmth. Again there was an intense feeling of wrongness, but I was too numb to figure out what it could be. I ignored it for the moment and focused on getting to my feet. I had to get to the source of light in the distance. 

After much flailing, I managed to finally stand and take a few stumbling steps toward the hopefully life saving light. My balance was noticibly off and it occurred to me that I might have a concussion in addition to hypothermia. That would definitely go a long way in explaining why I continued to have so much trouble with normal motor functions. I felt so small under the roaring gale and tried to move faster, stumbling a lot and tripping more than once, leaving bloody gouges on my bare knees and feet.

I finally made it, breaths coming harshly through my burning lungs.

In front of me was a quaint two story house, light colored with two porches, one on each floor. I struggled to the front porch and gazed longingly into the windows that showed bright enough to make me squint. An old wooden sign served as a resting post for my tired body and I leaned against it heavily. Although I had only walked half a mile, I felt exhausted, as if I hadn't eaten in days. I curled my arms around my stomach, a habit I had taken to in the past few months… 

My grasping hands met nothing but air.

"What?" The rain took my voice, roaring in my ears. Slowly…so slowly…I dragged my hand from my sternum to my pelvis and felt...nothing. 

The numbness I had been feeling fled from my body in a wash of vile adrenaline and I scrabbled frantically over my torso looking for something that should  _ be _ there, but  _ wasn't _ ! I tore at my shirt and stared down, squinting past the water in my panic filled eyes and straining to see by the dim light from the windows. To my abject horror, my blurred vision only registered what my other senses had been telling me. I looked past my flat, _ flat  _ chest to see an equally flat stomach.

I screamed.

_ This isn't happening, this isn't happening, where is she, WHERE IS SHE! _

I howled incoherently into the air, gripping my torso in panic. This was wrong! WRONG!  _ It's not possible, how could I lose her WHERE IS SHE! _

The door to the house slammed open with a bang, but I did not hear it. Small hands roughly shook my shoulders, but I felt nothing. The rain pounded down around me still, but I was beyond its cold touch.

The only thing my panic filled mind could register was that I didn't know where I was, I was cold and exhausted and disoriented, and I was no longer carrying my beautiful unborn Alyssa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks guys!
> 
> Next Chapter: That's not my name.


	2. Chapter 2

"Alphonse?"

My eyes slid open slowly, only to instantly snap shut as the bright overhead light caused a stab of pain in my nasal cavity all the way to the base of my spine. I sluggishly brought my arm up to block it out and groaned. My voice rasped pathetically in the room, throat torn open from my screams. I must have blacked out from the shock. Dimly, I noticed I was dry and comfortable save for the pain in my throat and head. Whoever was talking to me now must have pulled me out of the rain. 

For one quiet moment, I allowed myself to deny what I knew to be true, to imagine I was waking up by my lover's side. As he would every morning we woke together, he would gently rub my swollen belly in an achingly sweet fascination that only children and men were capable of and then caress my hair. He would gently kiss my forehead before getting up to shower as I pretended I was still asleep. I would bask in the early morning glow of dawn, not willing to wake just yet. I would smell our scent on the covers that I threw over my head, the familiar scent of home.

But reality was a harsh mistress. What I smelled was not the comfort of home, but the pungent scents of motor oil, metal and antiseptic. I lied not on my soft bed, but a hard cot. It was not the gentle voice of my beloved calling for me to wake, but the rasp of an old crone. 

And I knew without a doubt that if I placed my hand on my stomach, as I had every day for the past five months, I would only feel the flat plane of one who is empty.

Agony washed through me anew. How could this happen? How could I have lost my baby without noticing? It wasn't possible to have a miscarriage without noticing, that was just insane! Was it possible that I had just lost my memories? That was just too far fetched. 

My hand twitched in remembrance of what I felt, what I was feeling. Empty. Tears slipped from underneath my arm and down my face.

"Alphonse!" The raspy voice I heard from earlier called loudly next to me, but I didn’t acknowledge her. "Al, can you hear me? Are you in pain?" I wish this old woman would just go away, couldn't she tell I was grieving? "Alphonse!" Why did this stupid old woman keep calling me that?

Finally, resigned that she would not shut up and leave me to my misery I grunted a response, irritating my injured voice. "That's not my name," I said roughly.

There was a startled gasp and the woman finally, blessedly fell silent. For one hopeful moment I thought she would leave me alone. But alas. "If that's not your name, then what is?"

I pulled my arm from my face, blinked rapidly until my vision cleared of tears and the harsh light, and regarded the woman beside me. She was small, almost ridiculously so, only reaching just above the cot. Her thin lips were pulled back in a tight line and her eyes were wide open in shock behind round spectacles. Hysteria bubbled up in my throat, but I held it back with some effort. I was talking to a midget. Could this day possible get any weirder?

Belatedly I realized the woman had asked a question. "Alexandria," I muttered. I wondered idly if I was hysterical, since no matter how I cleared my throat, it still came out high pitched and breathy. "Are you a doctor?" I continued with some effort. "I feel disoriented. I think I may have a concussion."

For a moment the woman didn’t respond, only continued to stare into my eyes as if I were the strangest thing she had ever seen. Irritation spiked in me again. Was this woman deaf?

Eventually, she answered. "You could say I'm a doctor." She walked to the other side of the room as I struggled to track her movements, body still heavy as lead. Deftly, she dodged around various workbenches covered with wrenches, screwdrivers and other tools and parts of some metal contraptions I couldn’t name. And yet, this seemed out of place as the rest of the room held equipment that could only be medical in nature; some sort of heart monitor, an IV, and–I shuddered–scalpels and tools designed to cut into and stitch together flesh, tucked away and gleaming against the far wall on a rolling table, ready for use. The whole vibe held an unsettling mixture between a hospital and a car garage...I could only dimly hope that none of that would be used on me. But honestly, I couldn’t quite bring myself to care, the irrational but inevitable feeling of failure heavy on my shoulders...

The woman's return to my side pulled me out of my unsettled observations and when I met her eyes again I couldn't help but notice her slight flinch. That was the second time she reacted this way...was there some grievous wound on my face, or was she merely sensitive to my grief?

"My name is Pinako Rockbell," she introduced herself gently, "I am going to examine your head to see if you have any injuries. Is that alright?" I nodded dully and her small fingers began carding through my hair. She hummed to herself. "I don't feel anything. Do you feel any pain?"

"Feels like I got kicked in the head and then thrown off a moving truck." I mumbled. Pinako nodded to herself and pulled out a small flashlight to check my pupils. While she checked my responses she started asking questions. I remembered this was standard procedure for head injuries and cooperated.

"What is your name?"

"Alexandria Hertze."

"What is today's Date?"

"August nineteenth."

Pinako pressed her lips together. "Where do you live?"

"Las Vegas." The questions were coming faster, and I struggled to keep up as she began looking over my body.

"When is your birthday?"

"October first."

"Are you male or female?"

"Female."

"Do you remember what you were doing before you passed out?"

"I went to bed,” I rasped. “I kissed my boyfriend goodnight and made sure the door was locked. Then I went to sleep. The next thing I know I'm in the middle of a field and I can barely move. I made it to this house nearby and then-then-" I couldn't continue. My hand clenched spasmodically over my flat stomach and a fresh wave of tears fell down my face, a nearly inaudible animalistic sound of pain held back by the lump in my throat.

Pinako immediately looked concerned. "What's the matter? Does your stomach hurt?" I shook my head in the negative and clenched my teeth. 

"No," I ground out, "but it should. I should be in utter agony and bleeding to death. I should feel like someone has gutted me, and my organs are missing. I should because she's  _ not there _ ."

The old woman looked confused, and began forming the word 'who' on her lips before horrible realization overtook her features. "You were pregnant," she whispered.

Were. As in, past tense, as in, no longer. I was pregnant. And now I'm not. A sob passed my lips and I curled into myself, and heart-breaking shudders went through my frame as I tried without success to hold back my cries. Pinako gently patted my hair as I rode out the waves of my grief. Her touch was entirely unwelcome, but I couldn’t bring myself to pull away.

"Oh boys, what have you done?" And she pulled me close, weathered arms wrapping around my shivering frame as if somehow she could protect me from all around me. And I ached. I ached for my home, for my lover to do the same because only he could ever comfort me for this. But it wasn’t meant to be. I was here in this strange place, and there would be no succor for my grief. 

Eventually my cries subsided into choked gasps, coming to their natural end no matter how I wanted them to continue to relieve this horrible pressure in my chest. Pinako never left my side, although it had to have been at least two hours. The pain in my head had only intensified with my sobs, and I found it hard to concentrate. 

But one question kept pounding through my mind, insistent. "What happened to me?" I whispered, voice nearly gone.

The question was abrupt after hours of crying. Pinako paused in her gentle petting and sighed deeply. She looked over me contemplatively before bending over to dig in a box by her feet. Without looking up she said, "I'm not sure." She stood back up and brought a wet cloth to my face, cool fabric soothing my swollen eyes. "A few days ago, Alphonse Elric and Edward Elric, two children who live nearby, came to my door in the middle of the night covered in blood. Edward had been grievously injured, and Alphonse…I managed to save Edward's life, but neither of them would speak, other than to say 'I'm sorry'." The old woman shuddered and pulled back once my face was clear, her worry evident. "I went to their house to investigate, and what I found was absolute Hell. There was a huge transmutation circle on the floor of their basement and in its center…I can only surmise that they were trying to bring back their deceased mother, but what they created wasn't human. I buried the poor creature in the back yard."

My muddled mind tried to grasp the old woman’s story, but it seemed such an outlandish tale that I had a hard time arranging the words she spoke into sense. Two kids were trying to bring their mother back to life? Like necromancy? What the heck was a transmutation circle? Out of all that, one thing registered clearly. "Alphonse…you called me that when I first woke up."

Pinako nodded. "You see, from what I can tell, the transmutation went horribly wrong. Somehow, Alphonse was ejected from his body and attached to a suit of armor. I don't know much about alchemy, but I can only assume that was Edward's doing. I figured his body was destroyed in order to fuel the recreation of Trisha Elric's body but…"

"But?" I intoned dully. Most of this was flying right over my head. I had no idea what she meant by alchemy since all I knew about it was vague references in movies. And how could someone be ejected from his own body? What did all of this have to do with me?

Pinako sighed again, her expression pinched. Slowly she brought out a hand mirror and held it to my face. I stopped breathing. Familiar forest green eyes stared back at me, but that was where the similarities ended. A sad boy with wide eyes and short cropped, bright blond hair gazed dully into the mirror. He couldn't have been more than ten years old, eyes red rimmed from crying and small lips swollen from being bitten down to stifle tears. I blinked, and so did he.

"Is that–" I paused as the boy in the reflection spoke as well. I continued with a feeling of unreality. "Is that me?" I reached for the mirror and Pinako relinquished it gently.

"Yes. Somehow, you have been taken from where you were from and placed into Alphonse's body."

"How is this possible?" I choked out. I sat up slowly and began to really look at myself for the first time, weather no longer clouding my vision. I was small, probably no taller than four and a half feet, if this happened to be an adult sized cot. I ran unfamiliarly calloused hands over my arms, finding them thin and soft, but almost built, as if they had gone through rigorous training or hard labor. I lifted my shirt to regard my flat chest and was startled to find abs where baby fat should have been, if I this body was as young as I thought it was. A flush of panic had me moving in an instant as I stood abruptly and tore off the remainder of my clothes–which I now noticed were a pair of blue pajamas rather than the garment in which I arrived–not even bothering with propriety. And stared. Indeed, where there should have been nothing, there was the penis of a prepubescent child. With a sick fascination, I poked at it and flinched at the feeling. 

Fairly certain that shock was the only thing keeping me from a hysterical fit, I think,  _ this is so wrong. Disregarding the fact that all of this is absolutely  _ impossible _ , why am I a prepubescent boy? _

I turned to Pinako in confusion. "Ok, assuming I am not hallucinating in the worst way, let's say I believe all of this. If I am in Alphonse's body, then what happened to mine?" A surge of realization made me dizzy. Maybe my body was still alive! And that meant–

I looked at the old woman in desperation. "I don't want to give you false hope," she said slowly,"but there is a possibility that your body is alive out there somewhere without a soul." My heart leapt. "But!" Pinako continued quickly when she saw my expression, "there is no way to tell that. It could very well be that your body has died from the extraction of your conscious self. As far as I know, nothing like this has ever happened."

My heart plummeted at her words and I stared down at the floor. That didn't sound too promising, but at least there was a possibility. "Is there any way to get back to normal?"

Pinako shook her head. "I don't know, but you could start by asking the person who brought you here in the first place. Edward Elric."

-o0o-

In the end it was Alphonse I met first.

Pinako left me after helping me redress and settle back into the cot. She explained that she would go and inform the boys what was going on, and that I should wait there while she broke the news. While I waited, I contemplated all I had learned.

A couple of ten year olds, assuming they were the same age as my...borrowed body, tried to use some form of necromancy to bring back their dead mother. The spell, or 'transmutation', went wrong and one was chopped in half and the other was ripped out of his body, and some kind of monster was created. And then, the boy's empty body was filled with a random soul. Me.

Crazy laughter bubbled up into my throat and came out in a strangled whine. This is the most insane, ridiculous, nonsensical thing that has ever happened to me. With despair I could only wonder what had happened to  _ my _ body. Was I still asleep in my bed? Or did I die when I was brutally ripped out of my reality, causing my unborn child to die as well and my lover to find that his budding family was destroyed in one fell swoop. I could almost convince myself that this was all just some twisted dream, but the pain in my head was real, and the sensations when I touched myself were real. I could only hope that my body had survived and they were able to keep me alive, at least until I could find a way back, or until the baby was born. Yes, as long as little Alyssa was born…

Depressing thoughts continued to swirl around my head until I was abruptly interrupted by loud rattles from the hallway, like harsh clashes of pans hitting the floor. Alarmed, I sat up and jumped from the bed, hastily regaining my tenuous balance. Whatever was coming sounded dangerous, and I wanted to be ready for it.

A second later the door brutally slammed open. I recoiled in shock. There, standing in the doorway was the largest man I had ever seen. He stood at least seven feet tall and wore a fierce medieval suit of armor straight from the concept art of fantasy lore. The light gleamed off of sharp spikes and heartless metal, but what terrified me the most was the glowing red eyes that peered at me with malice, shoulders hunched forward in fury as if ready to charge my so much smaller frame. 

Before me was a demon, and I quailed. My heart leapt to choke me and my muscles seized in terror as the demon paced towards me slowly, metal armor banging on the floor like a peals of thunder to my sensitized hearing. Was this what it was like to be stalked by a monster? Was I going to die? A leather hand reached towards me and I flinched badly with a startled cry and pressed against the wall.

"What is going on?" A timid voice identical to what I was starting to recognize as my own rang out of the armor with an odd tinny quality. It sounded so out of place, so young and innocent, that I stopped dead in my attempt to escape. I looked slowly back into the eyes that had so scared me the moment before. "What are you? Why do you look exactly like me?" His words were trembling, choked, as if trying not to cry.

Then it clicked. "Are-" the suit of armor flinched badly at what I realized was the sound of his own voice, "Are you Alphonse?"

Instead of answering, the armoured boy crouched down to inspect me closer. His red eyes seemed to leave glowing tracks across my vision, and my heart continued to pound loudly in my ears as I found myself cornered. "No," he said to himself, "Its eyes are green. How can this be possible?" With a clank he reached forward to touch my face. I flinched away instinctively and he paused. "It's ok," he said gently, but his voice still wavered in disbelief. "I won't hurt you."

He slowly moved his hand closer, and this time I allowed it. His leather gloves scraped softly over the smooth skin of my cheek– 

“Aagh!”

I cried out, staggered as another's emotions invaded my mind in sharp stabs of agony. Like a sledgehammer hitting me in the chest I felt despair, confusion, terror and desperate sadness consume me. Combined with my own grief and fear, the sensations overwhelmed, and I nearly shut down in order to escape it, violent shudders wracking my frame.

A few moments passed by and I wearily opened my eyes as the feelings faded. The pain in my head was back with a vengeance and I found it hard to focus my vision. I blearily looked around the room from where I had fallen to find the real Alphonse on the other side, arms wrapped about his legs and head buried in his knees. Oddly enough, he was trembling, the suit of armor vibrating and clanking together. After a silent moment, he lifted his head and stared at me in return.

It was in that stalemate that Pinako decided to make her appearance. "Alphonse, what–" she took in the scene, both of us staring across the room, my face one of terror and Alphonse inscrutable. "What happened?"

"Aunty, what is that thing?" Alphonse asked. "It looks exactly like me, but it's not." His voice shook, and I could barely make out what he said.

Pinako grimaced, but answered soothingly. "Al, this is Alexandria. Like I was trying to tell you, it looks like she was taken from her own body and somehow filled the space in yours."

"But that's impossible! Ed said it disappeared during the transmutation!" He shouted suddenly, startling us both.

"I know Al, but look at him-er-her! If there is another explanation, I would love to hear it!"

His head snapped over in my direction and I flinched at the sudden movement, half expecting another backlash of foreign emotions. That didn't happen, but what did terrified me more. "If that's the case," he said, tone dangerously sharp, "then give me my body back!" The trapped boy's voice rang loudly through the armor and shattered off the walls. He stalked forward menacingly and I did my best to press myself through the wall, too tired to run and too scared to move. His fist slammed into the space next to my head and I cried out.

"Alphonse!" Pinako barked sharply. Alphonse froze, hovering over me like a statue. I looked up with wide terrified eyes and flinched when I heard a soft whimper. There were no tears, no possible way to tell how his face looked, but I realized with startling clarity that he was crying. My fear made way for emptiness, and what he said broke my heart all over again. "I'm sorry," he whispered with his strange echoing voice, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," was my automatic response, even though the words rang hollow, and even as I was sure he wasn’t talking to me. It was not okay, and it may never be okay again. But it seemed like that was all Alphonse needed to hear. His whimpers continued and I wished I could reach out to him, but I was afraid of what I had felt earlier. So I just sat, and allowed my own tears to fall.

Pinako sighed and pulled Alphonse away from me. She led him out of the room with soft whispers I couldn’t make out. When she returned, she silently helped me back onto the bed and ran her hands over my unfamiliar blond locks. "I think we've had enough excitement for one day. It's late, and we should all get some rest. I’ll wake you in the morning." When I didn't respond, she left and turned off the light with a soft goodnight. I fell into a troubled sleep minutes later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, that was some emotional rollercoaster. Don't worry guys, this story isn't going to turn into a sob-fest, this is just the beginning. I have to work through all this nasty emotional stuff to get to the action. The reason I had her a pregnant woman was because that was the most traumatic way I could think of to be taken from your body; with another person directly relying on you to survive. That, along with the fact that she has become of the opposite sex, just adds to the overall drama. Her coming to terms with becoming a He should be pretty fun to write. There is going to be quite a bit of commentary on gender identity throughout this fic.  
> Well, tell me what you think! See you next time!
> 
> Next Chapter: The worst first impression.


	3. Chapter 3

Pinako found me the next morning in the kitchen. I stared out of the quaintly shuttered window, glaring listlessly into the rising sun. I had awoken sometime before dawn and could not force myself to go back to sleep. Not that I wanted to. The dreams I had been forced to endure were… unsettling to say the least. Even more unsettling than my current situation, which is saying something. 

With some shuffling I found a strange old-fashioned coffee maker on the counter which looked like something from the 1920's. I may be in some kind of strange alternate reality, but at least some things–like good old fashioned coffee–were consistent. I put it to immediate use, afraid of falling asleep again. Despite it’s enticing familiar aroma, the drink burned like a bitter acid on my tongue. To my consternation this body was clearly not used to the acquired taste.

My new body was…strange. My sense of smell was sharper than I ever remember it being, as well as my eyesight. I had perfect vision, while in my other life I wore contacts. My previous body was a lot taller than my current four and a half feet, and still I struggled to balance. Where wide hips should be they were narrow. Where there should have been weight on my front there was none. Where before I had waist length chestnut hair, it was now short and light blonde, falling into my eyes. I brushed my bangs aside irritably, never having liked the way short bangs felt, preferring to grow my hair out beside my face. 

But this was not my body. Did it even matter anymore what my own preferences were?

Brushing aside that unsettling thought, I decided to try and figure out where I was. All I could see from my vantage point was rolling grass hills in every direction, so no help there. I also could not place the accents that Alphonse and Pinako spoke with, since I had always been pretty bad at distinguishing those. When you grow up in a melting pot like America, all of the accents just kind of blended together. Besides that, it wasn't that strong, and I could understand them perfectly.

Who's to say I was even on earth anymore? I mean, everything looked normal, besides the unusually short Pinako, and even then, midgets weren't all that rare. Also, the technology was the same, if a bit outdated, but that could just be Pinako's taste. Old people were sometimes like that, collecting old things that reminded them of their youth, or perhaps just too stubborn to change with the times. The technology in that procedure room discounted the latter, however.

It wasn't like there were any establishments close-by to compare to, though, so I couldn’t possibly tell if it was normal or not. In fact, it didn't look like there was anything out here at all, except for a dirt road leading off into the distance, the grass colored pink by the slow sunrise peaking over the hills.

Ok, so probably on Earth then. However, this was not my Earth, surely. As far as I knew, there was no such thing as binding souls to suits of armor or bringing back the dead. So was this some kind of alternate reality? No matter how insane that sounded, it was nothing compared to the very fact that I had somehow been trapped in a young man’s body, so I couldn’t discount it.

The sun drifted higher, allowing the pink to bleed into blue. My Kyle, my lover, would be waking up right about now. I wonder what he would find, my body in a coma? Or maybe–

I cut off my thoughts with a scalding gulp of coffee. I could not bear to think it. If I were to survive this situation with my sanity intact, I would need to avoid thinking the worst. I tried to empty my mind and control my emotions, a challenging thing at the best of times. Today was going to be long and trying, and I needed my focus.

That was how Pinako found me; a young boy staring out into the sunrise, a blank expression on his face. Dull green eyes reflected the morning light, heavy bags underneath them. She took in the scene for a moment before grunting and busying herself with a foot stool so she could get her own coffee.

"You shouldn't drink coffee you know, you'll stunt your growth." Her voice was a dry rasp that brought me out of my musings. 

I did not turn, only replied in a somewhat bitter tone, "I have already done my growing."

Pinako sighed but did not comment. I wondered what she thought about all of this. Alphonse had called her aunty, so they could be family. Was she looking on me with resentment, since I stole her nephew’s body? I cast a furtive glance in her direction, but detected no malice. She only looked tired, a sad frown causing deep lines to etch in her skin.

Her old wizened face only made me feel guilty for using such a harsh tone, so I looked away just as quickly and set the rest of my coffee to the side. It tasted terrible anyway. Uncomfortably I cleared my throat. "Can I meet Edward today? Is he stable?"

Pinako did not answer for a long time. I waited patiently for her answer. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen that face so serious," she said wistfully. "Those boys have been through alot this past year, and even more in the last few days. I would ask you to be as gentle as you can, and to not antagonize them."

My brow crumpled in sudden crushing fury, obliterating the tenuous calm I had managed to create before.  _ Me, _ antagonize  _ them? They _ were the ones who ripped me from my world and forced me into this body.  _ They _ were the ones who stole me away from my precious unborn baby who could be  _ dead _ for all I know! I was forced into a body that was drastically different from my own, and there may  _ never _ be the chance to go back. I think I have the fucking  _ right _ to be upset!

Pinako must have caught onto my mood, because she hastily retracted her statement. "I don't mean you shouldn't be upset with them, or that what happened wasn't absolutely horrible, but those boys are seriously hurting right now." She paused and took a deep breath, not cowed by the ferocious glare I sent her way. "Yelling at them won't change things any faster…they are just boys who lost their mother and made a terrible mistake."

I furiously turned back to the window. "And in doing so, they stole my birth given right to be a mother myself." My voice dripped with acid, and an equal amount of despair. As far as I was concerned, they had kidnapped me, murdered my baby and sterilized me in one fatal blow. And I was not so quick to forgive them just because of their age.

"They have lost just as much," Pinako said softly. I shook my head in denial. She walked to my side of the table at which we sat and pulled me slowly around to face her. "They may be too young to understand this, but I know you can. Once you become a parent, you learn that the world does not revolve around you alone, and that others are depending on you. I need you to understand that these children are hurting right now, and they cannot be expected to react rationally. Edward in particular has always been…expressive. He may react violently to your presence. Even though I am a complete stranger and I have no right, I am asking you to keep a cool head like the mother I know you to be."

“But I’m  _ not _ a mother,” I choked, tears once more running down my face without my bidding. “She’s–she’s gone and I never even–” The lump in my throat prevented any more words, only silent grief.

“You don’t know that,” she whispered, taking my face in gnarled calloused hands. I let out a mirthless laugh, not able to bring myself to hope. But without that hope, I couldn’t–wouldn’t– be able to go on. So I pushed down my doubts. There  _ had _ to be a way.

Her frown was serious, but held warmth that I only ever felt from my own mother. I clenched my teeth. It wasn't fair. Those kids were rational enough to do a complicated ritual to remake their mother, but they weren't rational enough to take responsibility for their actions? And I, who had lost everything through the fault of another, was forced to show compassion to the strangers who had not only destroyed their own lives, but mine as well? How could that possibly be right?

But then I remembered the desolate face that was shown to me in the mirror, the suit of armor that had wept above me, begging for forgiveness from the world at large with none but myself to answer, and the intense feelings that had consumed me when we touched. Those were not the emotions and remorse from a monster, but a child who had lost everything he held dear. And if Edward felt anything close to what I experienced from Alphonse…I took a shuddering breath and tried my best to push down my fury. Pinako was right, they were just kids. They were children who made a grievous mistake, but children nonetheless.

Pinako sensed my calm and patted me approvingly on the shoulder. "Edward is in no more danger of dying, bar a sudden infection. That doesn't seem likely though only time will tell. Until last night, he had not regained consciousness, so his mental wounds are still fresh. It will be to him as if his experience only happened hours ago. Allow me a little while to break the news to him." As she shuffled out of the kitchen threw over her shoulder, "Help yourself to anything we have. You are welcome to stay as long as you like."

_ As if I have a choice _ , I thought bitterly to myself. With a mental shake I brushed off the last of my bitterness for now. It was not like it was helping anything, and it was only serving to alienate the only people who were helping me and knew my situation. There would be time in the dead of night, when all hope was gone and I lay alone, to regret and grieve the turns my life had taken. But that time was not now. Right now I had to be strong, because I no longer had anyone to fall back on. I was alone.

Half an hour later saw me sitting in the sun on the grass just a few yards from the front porch. I chewed on a sandwich as I lazily watched the clouds go by and tried not to think of anything. It really was a lovely place, wherever I was. The grass glowed a beautiful bright green in the early morning sun as it was swept in waves by the gentle warm breeze. There was no sign of the violent storm that tore through the countryside the night before save the slight dampness in the grass below my seat. Similarly, my emotions had fallen into numbness. I had always been a bit odd like that. When I was sad or angry the emotion would tear through me like a flash fire, violent and sudden, and then burn out just as quickly, leaving little behind. My grief had finally subsided to a dull, manageable ache in my chest and I was no longer in danger of being consumed, protected, I suppose, by the unwillingness or inability to face those emotions any longer. It was still hard, and I was still so very sad, but my sanity was intact. For now.

The now somewhat familiar sound of clanging metal interrupted my silent contemplation and I anticipated the arrival of Alphonse, this time a bit more prepared for what to expect. The clanking stopped beside me and I did not open my eyes, but waited for him to make the first move. After a moment, he sat beside me and I turned to regard him. He pulled his legs to his chest again and folded his arms over them childishly, the pose looking a bit absurd on such a fierce looking suit of armor. "So you're Alexandria," Alphonse's sweet voice tentatively broke the ice. The tinny quality made it decidedly difficult to decipher his mood but I could tell he was just as desolate as yesterday, if not a bit more controlled.

"I guess it's Alexander now," I tried to joke, but even to my own ears it sounded flat. I snorted mirthlessly to myself and Alphonse did not respond. A slightly awkward silence fell over us after that and I let it sit, content to wait for him to continue. Eventually he did.

"Do you remember what happened?" he asked.

"No." I said at length. "If you mean do I remember the night you tried to bring your mother back then I'm afraid I can't help you. From what Pinako tells me, I showed up three days after the fact, but I don't really know how long I was out there. One minute I was sleeping in my own home and then, bam, there I was in the middle of a field in this body."

"You mean we somehow stole your soul."

I lowered my head into my own knees, trying to block out the feelings threatening to overwhelm me again. I knew I should try to stop this, but I couldn’t find it in my heart to deny it. The statement was uttered with the terrible conviction of one who knew they were right and was devastated because of it. "How old were you?" He continued.

"…23."

"Did you have a family?"

"Alphonse." I knew where this was going. These questions would lead down a self-destructive path that neither of us needed at the moment; the path of self-blame. Even if it was true, even if it was entirely their fault, this would help nothing, only make us both feel worse.

He plowed on anyway, disregarding the warning in my tone. He was looking down at the ground and no longer seemed to notice I was there. "Were you married? Did you have a home?  _ A child?" _

"Alphonse!" My shout startled him into looking up and he found me in his face, gripping his helmet. I looked into the bright red eyes floating in the black abyss that had so frightened me the night before. Instantly at my touch I felt the same drastic influx of emotion that I had felt hours earlier, but this time, with my own emotions in check, I was able to handle it. I shuddered in surprise, but did not let go. "Now is not the time to be thinking about that." I tried to go for comforting, but my voice was strained. "None of us have any power to change what was, and feeling guilty will not solve anything." The boy's emotions were spiraling out of control, but my words seemed to bring him back into focus. I released him and plopped back down beside him, suddenly exhausted. Experiencing that much emotion was draining enough for one person, but feeling the emotions of two was almost unbearable.

Alphonse nodded, but I wasn't sure if it was in response to what I said or his own thoughts. "That happened last night as well," he said in a calmer tone. "It's like, when you touch me I can feel everything again." He lifted his hands and stared what I fancied as forlornly at the leather and metal appendages. "This body does not allow me to feel anything. Not the wind or the touch of another or even pain. But when we touch, it's like I suddenly have all of my senses back, but I can feel your emotions as well."

I let my head fall backward to regard the sky and rolled that one around in my mind. "Yeah, that's pretty weird all right. I can't say I know anything at all about this alchemy thing, so I couldn't tell you what that's about. What do you think?"

"Well," Alphonse started slowly, "bodies might be just naturally attracted to the souls they were born with, so it might just be that we are connected, and that connection gets really strong when we touch."

I hummed to myself. "If that's the case, then why doesn't your soul just push mine out and be done with it?" That was a terrifying prospect. What would happen to me then?

"I don't know…Brother would know…"

The silence fell between us again, but this time it was a more companionable one.

"Say Alphonse," I drew my knees up to mirror his position, something that hadn't felt comfortable to me in a long while in my own body, "do you remember what happened? Or maybe what might have happened to me?"

"…I'm sorry, but I don't remember what happened that night either.” He said slowly. “I recall Brother and I putting our hands on the transmutation circle to complete the ritual, but I blacked out after that. The next thing I remember I am in this body and Brother is losing a lot of blood. So much blood…And that thing we created," Alphonse's voice began to tremble, "it wasn't even her…it was in pain and we created it! It was screaming–"

"Hey!" I shouted, slapping the back of my hand on his armor. I instantly regretted it as I felt his emotional backlash again and we both flinched, but I brushed it aside. "What did I say about self-blame?"

"None of us have the power to change what was, and feeling guilty will not solve anything," Alphonse intoned as if reciting a law from a book. I blinked, slightly impressed that he had remembered that word for word. He made my hasty words seem like an elegant line from an epic, but I supposed this was a prodigy we were speaking of. When I was ten, I was still playing with Hotwheels, not bringing people back from the dead, so I couldn't relate in the least. It was a little sad that these kids had given up their childhood, accidental or not, and that their innocence was gone forever.

"Hey Alexandria, can I hold your hand?" Alphonse asked timidly. I looked at him seriously and considered it. He said that when he touched me, or his own body rather, he could feel again. I couldn't imagine how hard it must be to lose all of your senses except for sight and sound. And it was  _ his  _ body, no matter that I inhabited it. I couldn’t imagine what that must feel like. But still…

"Are your emotions under control? It seems to be really hard on my-er-your body to and my mind feel the emotions of two people." Also, it was incredibly invasive on both our parts.

"It's ok, you can say it's your body for now. It's just too confusing otherwise," he said kindly. I blinked, surprised. I don’t know if I could have that outlooks were our roles reversed. "Yeah, I think I'm calm now. Please, I know it's a lot to ask, but I'd give anything to be able to feel again, even if all I feel is pain…"

"Alright," I sighed after a loaded moment of silence. I hesitantly extended my hand and he took it, the warm leather bending around my small digits with a creak. It was hard at first, but by allowing the creeping numbness in my chest to suppress my own emotions, I was able accommodate his and give us a balance of sorts. Not the healthiest way to do this in the long term, but something we could work on until we were returned to normal (I refused to think 'if’ we returned to normal). Alphonse sighed in contentment and I could feel his emotions smoothing out just a little more.

"Hey, you smiled!" I said.

"How can you tell?" I looked pointedly at our gripping hands. "Oh," he giggled, and it had to have been the cutest laugh I had ever heard. Maybe all of their innocence wasn't gone after all.

"Hey Alphonse."

"You can call me Al if you want. All my friends do."

"Al," I said with a slight smile. This kid was just too cute. I can't believe I was afraid of him when we first met, despite the intimidating armor. "Then you can call me Alex. All my friends do." A little bit of warmth seeped through our linked hands and both of us giggled this time. "You're a smart kid. Can you tell me about this place? Like where I am, how this world works and what this alchemy business is?"

"Sure," he said, voice just a little more cheerful. With that he launched into an in-depth explanation that my college professors would have been proud of. Cripes, this kid was intelligent.

For the rest of the morning I sat beside my new friend Alphonse, our hands linked as he shared the wild tale of his world.

-o0o-

My first impression of Edward was 'what a pathetic looking creature'. A small boy sat slumped over in a wheelchair, tangled golden bangs hanging over a gaunt, pale face. Gold(?) eyes set over heavy dark bags looked up to regard me. Thin pale lips pinched together under a perfectly straight nose. Overall it was the most forlorn and defeated expression I had ever had the privilege of seeing.

One leg dangled over the edge of the wheelchair that was too big for him, while the other was merely a stump wrapped tightly in white bandages. Similarly, his opposite arm was missing, his other hand limp in defeat.

I stood before him with Al at my back, my body straight and tall and perfect, and I am ashamed to say that I felt pity. This was not the monster I had envisioned that stole me from my home, but a pitiable child who got too close to the sun. All I could see was the aftermath of his fall.

But still I couldn't clamp down on the undeniable anger I felt. Al had explained to me that it had been Edward's idea to bring back their mother, and that it had been Edward who insisted past all of his little brother's pleading to do otherwise. Of course he hadn't said it like that, but that’s definitely how I understood it.

I stared at him blankly, waiting for him to speak first.

"So you're her," he said. I flinched internally at the sound of his voice. It was breathy and low, and filled with pain. On any other man, I might have said it was attractive, but on this child it sounded freakishly mature compared to the sweet voice of his brother.

"Him now, actually," I said without inflection. Al shifted slightly behind me, but Edward did not react to my deliberate jab.

"You're eyes are green," he continued, as if I had not spoken at all. "How could this happen….My calculations were perfect…was it–" Edward slumped down even further and continued to mumble to himself incoherently.

"Brother," Alphonse whimpered beside me, but Ed did not acknowledge him. 

Anger flared within me in a wave of heat in my chest and face. This was my only hope to get home? This pathetic child who could not deal with the consequences of his actions?

"Edward Elric," I snapped loudly. His head jerked up in response to his little brother's voice using his full name in anger. "I get it, you're upset, but I need you to focus. You are the only one who remembers what happened that night and you may be the only one who can make it right."

"Don't talk to me like that using  _ his _ voice!" He shouted suddenly, "How can you possibly understand what I am going through, you're just an invader in my brother's body! You're just–" Edward cut himself off and flinched badly at the expression on my face.

I didn't  _ understand _ ? I was an  _ invader _ ? As if I was the one who had stolen Al's body away from him, like I had wanted to! Like I had a choice! Like I had wanted to be ripped away from the happiness I had  _ finally _ found in my own life! Just like a damn kid he was trying to put the blame on anyone else but himself! What was next, was he going to blame his failed transmutation on me, or blame me for giving him the idea in the first place? How  _ dare _ he! I opened my mouth to give him a piece of my mind, but Al beat me to it.

"Brother!" he barked, the sound ringing harshly. Edward's despairing eyes switched over to his real little brother, who continued in a softer tone. "Don't blame Alex for our mistakes."

Edward slumped forward, breaking eye contact with us both. "I'm sorry," he whispered in that hitched, too deep voice of his, "I'm so sorry…."

Disgusted, and tired of listening to this pathetic pity fest, I turned on my heel and stalked out of the room, cursing badly when I stumbled over my unfamiliar feet. Al made a slight noise of protest, but didn't follow me as I slammed the door. If that child really was my only way of getting home, then I was surely doomed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I promised, it wasn't all angst this chapter. Yay for Alphonse cuteness! Ed's kind of being a dick right now, but Ed will be Ed. Next Chapter: A certain Colonel will come-a-calling to kick our little Ed into gear!
> 
> Thanks for your encouragement. It's a lovely perk to doing one of my favorite things in the world.


	4. Chapter 4

"Um…" A small voice drifted from the doorway, one I didn’t recognize.

"What," I grunted irritably, no longer caring one way or the other. My head lay face down on the kitchen table where I slumped, arms hanging listlessly at my sides.

"He didn't mean it," the voice continued. I propped my chin on the hard table and saw yet another child looking back at me with forlorn eyes. Just how many kids were running around this place anyway? A young girl with light blond hair (I was starting to wonder if everyone in this world had blond hair, or if they were just all related), pretty blue eyes and dressed in a cute pink sundress shuffled her feet in the doorway. I immediately regretted my harsh tone.

"I know he didn't," I said, much more gently, even though I didn’t believe the words myself. It wasn't this pretty girl's fault that Edward was being an unbalanced prick. I felt I might be being unfair to the boy, but all I had to do was remember just what I lost to reject the feeling. I just wasn't in the right mind to forgive him at the moment and I couldn’t really imagine ever doing so, but there was no reason to take it out on her. At my change in tone, the girl smiled tentatively and joined me at the table.

"My name is Winry."

"Alex–" I almost introduced myself by my birth name, 'Alexandria', but that wasn't quite right anymore, was it? I was no longer a woman, and having a woman's name would just cause unnecessary confusion on everyone else's part. "Alexander," I said decisively, "but you can just call me Alex." That wouldn't be too bad, since that was my nickname in my other life anyway.

Winry frowned at my choice of name. Obviously she had heard my story from Pinako, but to my relief didn't comment. Smart girl. I was really in no mood to discuss it at the moment.

Sensing this, a silence fell over us two. I didn’t want to be rude, but...well, I just didn't care at this point. I made to lay my head back down, dismissing the child, when it seemed like Winry had had enough. She bounced off her chair and took my hand, tugging a little. I pulled back, startled out of my black mood.

"Come on Alex, let's go outside!" She flashed an adorable grin. For a moment I was stunned at her easy acceptance, but the slight strain at the corner of her eyes gave her away. She was hurting too, I could see it, but for my sake, it seemed, she would push it down. Gratitude flickered through my numb heart and I allowed myself a small smile, touched. She was trying to cheer me up. I nodded slowly. Maybe some fresh air would do me some good.

"Thanks Winry."

She pulled me out of the dark kitchen and into the sunlight.

-o0o-

Days passed, and I found myself in the company of Alphonse and Winry, mostly. It was odd for me to spend so much time with children when I hadn’t been one for so long, nor had I been around them much since before I graduated high school years ago. The college scene and then the working world, where none of my friends had children, didn’t exactly allow for much contact with those of my two new companions’ age. Still, I found them both to be intelligent, much more than I knew I had been at that age, and their dispositions bright. We became friends easily, despite any awkwardness I might feel or the tragedies that had recently befallen us.

With the help of Al and Winry, I started to get the hang of my new body. I found that not only was my equilibrium off because of my change in bone structure and height, but because this world was just different. It felt like gravity was somehow less here; not enough to change things drastically, but enough that I was able to jump higher and move faster than I was sure was even possible in my own world. Al's body was also cut hard, like a diamond, and more physically fit than I ever was in my own. I wondered just what kind of physical training he was used to to get so built at his age.

Alphonse was also having a tough time adjusting to his new body, his big bulky frame causing him to misjudge his strength and run into doorways. I found it kind of fascinating that even though the armor was hollow, it functioned just as well as if it had moving muscles. Alphonse really had to concentrate when he touched things, because his strength was astronomical compared to what his previous body was capable of. If he gripped something too hard, it was likely to shatter.

Also in this time, I dedicated myself to learning about my new world. I was constantly grilling Al and Winry about how things worked, especially what the government was like and how Alchemy worked. It helped keep me focused on the here and now rather than dwelling on my dark thoughts.

It turned out that I was in a place called Amestris, which was like a huge military state with a commander-in-chief serving as a king. Winry brought me a book that had a map in it, and I discovered just how very different our two worlds looked. There were no familiarities between the continents of my world and the seemingly one giant continent that was this one. Amestris looked like a giant circle surrounded by even larger countries.

"Where are the oceans?" I asked after examining the map for some time. Winry gave me a confused look. "Do you mean the Great Sea? That covers the other half of the planet, but I don't have a map of it. There isn't really much out there." That was interesting news. So this planet basically had one continent, just like Pangaea millions of years ago in my version of reality.

Alchemy was even more foreign to me than this world's geography and government. I could not make heads or tales of the complicated textbooks and Al's dizzying explanations. My own world's physics and sciences had made little sense beyond basic understanding to me, and alchemy was no different. I just didn't have the mind for it. When Alphonse showed me a transmutation, I was floored. He just drew a circle in the dirt, and a flash of lightning later, there was a little toy horse where only dirt and rocks had been.

"Ok, I get that you can't make something out of nothing and that you need the exact amount of materials to make something of equivalent value. That's basic science. But what I don't get is, where does the energy for these reactions come from?"

"There are several theories in regards to that," Al started in what I came to recognize as his 'instructor voice', " the primary being…" The more I listened, the more my headache grew. Just about everything he was saying was way over my head, and after a while I just gave up on understanding. Yup, definitely not cut out for this alchemy business. From what I understood Alphonse was somewhat of a prodigy, and no matter how much he dummed it down for me I just couldn't keep up.

There was something that both Alphonse and I shared common ground in, and I was delighted to find out that he was also a martial artist. Martial Arts was something I had been into for as long as I could remember, and had started training right about the age that my current body was. It was something I never skipped if I could help it, and I hadn't been able to train for months because of my pregnancy. I had dearly missed it, and found in the following days that it not only helped me to regain control of my motor functions, but it helped me maintain a sense of normalcy. I was still me, and I could still do something I loved. Alphonse and I seemed evenly matched in our fighting abilities, a fact that kind of irked me. How could a kid who could only have been training for a couple years match someone like me, who had been training for a decade? It may have been the way we had been taught, but it could also just have been his prodigal side peeking through again. I decided not to let it bother me, and just enjoy the fact that we shared a passion.

Al and I continued to work on our connection. We found that if we both did meditation techniques before we touched, we could strike a balance, as it were, with our emotions. It was an extremely intimate experience, one that made us irrevocably close. When we were connected, we could feel exactly what the other felt, but in a mutual understanding we never spoke of it. I never asked him about his pain, and similarly he never spoke of mine. In that way, he was able to feel again, and I didn't feel quite so alone.

Days passed into weeks, and I saw little to none of Edward. He refused to come out of the room where we had met, and Pinako took care of his body's needs with silent stoicism. He did not talk to anyone but Alphonse, and would not even look at me. I didn't know if it was out of guilt or disgust, but either way, I had little to no hope that he would be able to help me return to normal. So for the moment, I lived in the now. That small, pale boy was broken, and none of us knew how to fix him. I never stopped thinking of home, but for now it was an impossible dream.

It was on one of the days I sat outside by myself contemplating this, when I observed two people wandering up the dirt road. Everyone else was in the house doing this or that and I was seated underneath a shade tree nearby. I did not move, hoping they would not notice me and observed them with interest, for they were the first people I had seen outside of Pinako's family. I was about one hundred yards away, so I could not make out too many details, but I could tell the one leading was a man, and the second person walking two paces back was a slightly smaller woman. The man was tall with black hair–the first person I had seen like that, confirming that there was diversity–and the woman had the familiar blond. Both wore what looked to be blue uniforms and walked with purpose.

Probably military or some kind of government officials, I thought, remembering what I had learned. I could not tell if this was a good or bad thing, so I continued to observe to see how Pinako would react to them. After all, I couldn’t imagine a couple of military officers waltzing up to my home for any reason other than some dire circumstance. The thought made my heart race a little.

The two figures reached the house and knocked. Pinako answered and after a brief exchange, they were admitted to the house. Before she went back inside, Pinako spotted me on my hill and raised her hand in a halting motion.

The message was clear. Stay away.

So, not good then. I contemplated whether or not to obey. I didn't know much about this world's politics, but from what I gathered, this military was no stranger to taking things by force. It could be really dangerous but…

Oh who was I kidding, there was no way I could hold back my curiosity.

I quickly snuck from my position by the tree and ran to the house, careful not to be in view of any windows. It took several minutes, but I made it and paused underneath the kitchen. I was in luck; it was open, and though I had to strain I could hear everything that was said from my vantage point.

"…heard there was a talented alchemist living in this town, I came down from Central to see him for myself." A smooth male voice drifted through the open window. "The last thing I expected to find was a boy skilled enough to attempt human transmutation, nor advanced enough to bind a soul to a suit of armor. I'd say he's more than qualified to become a State Alchemist.” I frowned. Were they...recruiting the boys? How did they know what happened…? I tuned back in.

“Should he choose to accept the position, he will be required to assist the military in times of national emergency and in exchange, he'll receive otherwise restricted access to research materials in Central Library. Given time, they may be able to find a way to get their bodies back, or even more."

My heart leapt into my throat, hammering is if I had run miles. There was a way, I thought dizzily. It wasn't just a fantasy, but something that could actually happen. If Edward became a ‘State Alchemist’, he might be able to find away to put everything right! It was too good to be true. So good in fact that I could hardly believe it. It couldn't be that easy, no way.

I tuned back into the conversation just as Pinako finished yelling. The man no longer seemed to be addressing her though. "I'm not forcing you, I'm merely offering you the possibility." Wait, Edward was out of the bedroom? That was new. "Will you sit in that chair wallowing in self pity, or will you stand up and seize the chance the military can give you? If you believe there is any chance of getting your bodies back you should keep moving, whatever it takes, even if the way ahead lies through a river of blood."

With that, I heard a scrape and boots walking towards the door. I quickly shuffled around the corner when I realized they were leaving. I peeked carefully from my vantage point to get a better look at the two. It was difficult though, and I barely caught a glimpse of black hair and a pale face before the man was striding swiftly back down the road.

The blond woman paused and I heard her speak for the first time. "Well, I guess this is goodbye young lady,” she said, crouching slightly to speak eye level with Winry.

"It's Winry," the young girl replied. With a small nod, the woman said a quick goodbye. She turned in my direction and I hid myself swiftly, hoping to god that she didn’t see me. That was the last thing I needed, to draw the attention of these people. After a slight pause, she left with a promise to meet again, following her fellow officer down the country lane and eventually out of sight. As soon as they were gone, I whipped around the corner and entered the house, coming face to face with Alphonse standing quietly by the window and staring out into the sunset.

"Is it true?" I demanded, a bit out of breath in my excitement.

Al seemed startled by my sudden appearance. He looked back down the road. "I don't know. But I believe it's possible. I have to."

I nodded and turned back into the house. I found Edward in the kitchen, and for the first time in weeks, felt a surge of hope. In that boy's eyes, I no longer saw the look of defeat, but hard golden orbs filled with determination. He looked me in the eye for the first time since the day we met.

"Are we going to get our bodies back?" I asked.

"We are going to get our bodies back." He replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hokay! another quick note before I let you guys go, just to answer some questions I know will be asked. Is it unrealistic that the woman whose soul was taken just happened to be a martial artist? I think not. I myself am a 21 year old woman, and I have a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, a purple in Kung Fu, and a red in the Philippine Martial arts, as well as a spattering of knowledge of several others. Is it luck of astronomical proportions that Alex can fight? Yes. But there is just no way I am having a dead weight character. So yeah.
> 
> One last thing. The characters will be referring to Alex as a guy from here on out. There will be a lot of references to his past and he won't just suddenly start acting like a dude, but he clearly made his choice at the beginning of this chapter. What you decide to call him in your mind though...that’s another story. And that interesting perspective, my dear readers, is another reason I chose to write it this way.
> 
> Next chapter: Alex says goodbye for a little while. 
> 
> Lemme know what you think! Like it? Think I should continue? Want me to crawl under a rock and die? See you next time!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With their mission finally underway, Alex seeks out the woman who trained his extraordinary new companions. Now he can only hope he survives the encounter...

A week later, I left the Rockbell household.

There was a lot of protesting (on Edward's part) and a lot of tears (on Al's and Winry's part), but in the end I won, and we parted ways.  
The week before I left had been…up-lifting, to say the least. Edward finally got off his scrawny ass (figuratively, the kid was still in a wheelchair) and we made a plan. He would join the military and suck every bit of knowledge out of them he could.

Did I think it was totally messed up that a child could be recruited into the military? Yes. Did I really care…? No, no I didn’t. Too much was at stake to let my morals get in the way. Meh. Never been overly righteous anyway. 

And besides, Al and I would be right behind him. At first Edward resisted us coming along. It was all his fault, Al doesn't need to do anything, blah, blah, blah. We snapped him out of that real quick. Well, Al and I kind of ganged up on him, so he didn't have a chance with our cute charms to contend with. I had to sigh when I thought about the fact that I got saddled with a self-sacrificing idiot, but Ed really wasn't all that bad once you got to know him, I guess.

He finally owned up to not only what he had done to himself and his brother, but also what he had done to me. We had a long in-depth awkward talk in which I held back most of the bad stuff, like the fact that I had had a family of my own, only telling him that _I would very dearly like to go back, and could you please do that for me Edward?_ I could tell he didn't know what to make of me, and kept stuttering, but I left him to keep on guessing. I know I was being mean, but I just couldn't help it. I was still kind of angry (okay, a lot angry. Furious.) about what he had done, and that was Reason One for my departure. I needed to distance myself a little so I could let go of some of this crippling anger that was preventing me from being a civil human being. It wasn’t helping anything, and I didn’t need to alienate the only people who could help me out of this situation.

The Second Reason was this: Edward would need to get fitted with automail before he was going anywhere. I was floored to discover that a society that seemed to be trapped in the early 1900's technology-wise was already advanced enough to create a robotic arm or leg that attached directly to the nervous system. It even responded just as quickly as a flesh counterpart! Not even the technology at home was that advanced yet. Evolution divergence really was strange. 

Winry explained to me that the procedure was very painful, and it would take at least two years for Edward to be able to function normally again, and then who knows how long training to become a State Alchemist. That was just too long to be sitting around doing nothing in my book.

I don’t even think it really hit me until that moment just how long I would be stuck here...It occurred to me that I could just go off on my own, but I realized that in this body, I was just a child. No one would take me seriously, and no one else knew. No. I would have to stay with these boys. There was really no other choice...

Reason Three: I wanted to improve my martial arts skills. Both Edward and Alphonse were already at my level (from what Al has told me) from only two years of training. I needed to find their teacher and beg her to train me. If I was going to be following around these superhuman boys, with all their magical science and insane backflips, I was going to need to be a part of their team, and that meant being their equal. This world was dangerous, if half of what I had heard about this country was true, and I needed to be prepared, _especially_ if I was going to be smack-dab in the middle of military work.

I curled my lip in distaste at the thought. I was going to be involved with this–this foreign military...didn't really know how to feel about that, to be honest. From all I had heard, they weren’t the most virtuous bunch in any reality, but...but I could use them to regain my life. And that was enough for me. I would just have to hope that none of us would be sent in to fight a war. 

What a nightmare that would be. Hopefully we got back to normal before something that drastic could happen.

The Final Reason: Alphonse was too dependent on me, and it was becoming unhealthy. For the sake of feeling he attached to me as often as he could get away with; at mealtimes to taste what I ate or at night to be able to sleep and share my dreams, and it was slowly driving us both insane. It was as if my presence was a barrier to his healing and accepting what happened. Also, I could feel this 'empathy' link getting stronger and I was getting pulled along. It was getting harder for me to distinguish his feelings from mine every time we 'connected' and I was afraid of what that meant. We still didn't know why his soul didn't just push mine out and go back to its body. 

Edward theorized that the soul seal that attaches Al to his armor was preventing him from fully taking over my borrowed body. But it was only a theory. For all we knew, he could be slowly pushing me out, and then what would happen to me? I needed to leave, and Al reluctantly agreed. I supposed I was lucky that neither one of the boys seemed to think it was a good idea to just shuck me and re-attach Al's soul. They seemed Hell-bent on getting me back to where I belonged, and for that, I was grateful.

So we made a plan. I would leave and Edward would get healthy again. In two years time, I would return stronger than I was before, and then we would head to Central together as the Elric Brothers Three.

At first I resisted the idea of basically becoming their brother in all but soul (cause, you know, I was kind of their blood brother), but Alphonse was insistent. In the end I agreed, it would be the easiest way to explain why I was so similar to Edward without getting into all of the awkward details of being basically a substitute in someone else's body. And I was ok with being Al's brother, he was a sweet kid, but I didn't think Edward would ever think about me that way, nor I about him. As a cover story though…it was a good plan. So that's what we would do.

So after a tearful (Winry and Al) and sullen (Edward) goodbye, I found myself in front of the home of Edward and Alphonse's alchemy teacher. And I was sweating bullets.

She couldn't possibly be as bad as they say. Did she really throw knives and leave them on a deserted island just to learn some obscure alchemical truth? Was I going to be strong enough for this? I gulped and took a bracing breath before lifting my hand to knock on the door. I was twenty-three damnit! She couldn't possibly be that much more intimidating than my last martial arts instructor. That man was five-foot-full of the ferocity of a tasmanian devil. If I could train under him, I could train under anyone!

Or maybe I was overestimating myself. The second my fist met the door, it was slammed open in my face, sending me sprawling back on my ass, nursing what was sure to be a black eye.

"What!" shouted the fiercest looking woman I had ever laid eyes on. She was easily three feet taller than me and built like a tank. Her arms, though slim, were corded with muscle and I was sure if I could see though her white tunic, her core would be hard as a rock. Her hair was long and braided back in dreadlocks tied into a pony-tail, and she wore a furious expression. 

She glared at me with black eyes. Was I intimidated? Yes. Did I want to run screaming with my tail tucked between my legs? Yes. Was I seriously fucking jealous of her bad-ass body? Hell yes.

As quickly as I could register all of this, here expression changed when she saw who I was. Or rather, whom I looked like. "Alphonse?" she asked, her face smoothing out into one of deceptively pretty innocence.

"Not quite," I groaned from my seat on the ground. She crouched in front of me and frowned intimidatingly. I froze nervously and could almost physically feel her black irises burn as she inspected me. Eventually, she let out a heavy sigh and helped me to my feet. "I can already tell that this is going to be a long story, so come on in. It's getting dark." She didn't know the half of it, I grinned ruefully to myself as I followed her inside.

She seated me at a table in her quaint little cottage ("Sit," she commanded. "Yes ma'am!" respectfully), and served some tea. And so I told her everything. Well, not _everything_ , everything. I left out most of the sob story that was my life and focused just on the events from the moment I woke till now. The whole time I spoke I gazed into my teacup, and she did not interrupt me once.

"So," she said dangerously calm once I had finished speaking, "those boys took everything I taught them only to commit the ultimate taboo, not only destroying their lives and disgracing my teachings, but ripping an innocent from another world against his will."

"Yup." Oops. I probably shouldn't be so flippant about this. Silence reigned for a moment and I could almost imagine a fuse sparking at the top of Izumi's head. I watched with an almost numb fascination as the seconds ticked by, wondering idly if I should fear for my life. I didn't have to wait for long.

"Aaaaaaaagh!" she screamed in fury. In a feat of inhuman strength she lifted the heavy white table that we were sitting at and threw it out the window.

"…" I sat with my eyes wide open in shock, cold teacup in my hand, at the suddenly much more empty space in front of me. Jerkily I looked up at Izumi.

She stood with her arms akimbo, staring out the now much bigger window and huffing like an enraged bull. Eventually she calmed enough to pinch the bridge of her nose. "So why are you here?" She gritted out.

I snapped my mouth closed and answered immediately. "Ed is going to join the State Alchemists–Gah!" The volatile woman had punched through the wall this time.

"So they think by joining the State they will be able to go back to normal! That way only lies the path of blood and destruction!"

Intimidated, and a bit awed by her strength and fury, I didn't answer. That is until she turned her menacing eyes on me. "So that's what they are doing, but you didn't answer my question: Why are you here?"

A sharp shiver ran up and down my spine. This was it. Make or break! My spine, that is...Gulping and gathering my nerve, I stood. Bowing in a traditional sign of respect that had been ingrained in me since I was very young, I lifted my hands before me with my right fist touching my left palm and put all of the conviction I could muster into my voice. "Master Izumi, please teach me how to fight!"

"No!" The next thing to fly out the window…was me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No worries, they'll reunite soon. Now the story really begins...
> 
> Please let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

She just threw me out of the window. I repeat: she picked me up with  _ one hand _ (I had to be at least one hundred pounds!) and threw me through her recently destroyed window. I could have sworn I heard the broken glass and sharp wood fragments whistle as I passed through them. 

But that was the least of my worries, because I was about to hit the ground. Hard.

"Gah!" Instinctively, I crossed my arms over my chest and slammed them to the ground just as my body hit, diffusing as much force as I could, and then quickly curled into a back role when that wasn't enough. I tumbled twice before completely losing control and skidding the last couple yards.

When I finally came to rest, I shakily sat up from my sprawl and found that I had been thrown at least fifteen yards from the front of the house. Was everyone in this world a superhuman freak!? If I hadn't broken my fall, that crazy bitch could have killed me! As it was, I could already feel numerous bruises and abrasions blooming on my skin. 

Izumi wasn't done with me yet. 

"AAAAAAAAGH!" I screamed in a pitiful voice as, almost faster than I could believe possible, Izumi jumped through her window and flipped over, a kick coming down towards my unsuspecting head like an axe. In an insane spike of adrenaline, I rolled out of the way, only to witness her strike leave a sizable dent where my body had been.

I back peddled desperately, but not fast enough. Izumi grabbed my head by my hair and slammed me into the nearby tree, effectively pinning me. "What makes you think I want to train another kid alchemist, just so they can go disgrace my teachings by joining the military?!" She growled in my ear. Unable to respond, my face pressed painfully into the bark of the tree, I acted on instinct, falling into the training that had been drilled into me over and over for years. I quickly hooked my leg around her leading one and slammed my elbow back. Surprised, Izumi dodged my strike but stumbled as her foot was trapped by my weight. Her stumble was all I needed. With one eye closed because of the blood streaming down from a cut on my brow, I did a move instinctively that I had practiced a thousand times in my other life, although never in a real fight. I used the tree as leverage and launched forward, my right palm facing downward and my thumb extended, and went straight for her throat.

Izumi saw me coming a mile away. With her center of gravity going backward, she braced her foot to the ground and twisted her torso. My arm went right over her head and her fist gouged into my midsection and slammed me on my back in the dirt. I laid gasping in pain, and waited for my breath and my eyesight to return, spots whiting out the dimming sky. I struggled to move quickly, fearing another blow. 

Never in my decade of training had I experienced a battle so intense and  _ real _ . This was no sparring match, Izumi really seemed out to kill me!  _ This _ was why Alphonse was so skilled. Izumi did not hold back. She was no instructor trying to make money and afraid of lawsuits. With her, you either learned or you died.

When I finally regained my senses she was standing over me with her arms crossed and a fierce expression on her face. Her long body cast a shadow over me and the sun haloed behind her head. She looked like some kind of righteous avenging angel, and I was the poor sinning fool that was going to be smited.

"If this is the result of my training, the absolute  _ butchery _ of my teachings, then I will never train another alchemist again. You're out of luck kid. Find your easy fix elsewhere." With that she turned her back on me and walked away.

What….No! I grabbed onto her black pant leg and she kicked out. Senses regained, I rolled out of the way and struggled to my feet. "Wait! You don't understand!"

"Like Hell I don't!" She whipped around again and started to punch me. Left, right, jab, hook. I desperately windmilled my arms and diverted them, but even glancing blows made my bones vibrate painfully, as if I was being hit with sledgehammers. "You are just going to take my teachings and mess with the natural order of the world. I won't have it!" With that she delivered a powerful hook to my head. I just barely had time to throw my arm up over my face before she sent me sprawling again.

"Please!" I gasped, my ears ringing and my head spinning, "I don't want to learn alchemy!" Izumi paused and I desperately started babbling. "Alphonse is so strong, I need to get my body back, I can't keep up if I'm weak! I need to get back, please teach me to fight!" When she just stared at me stoically, I felt tears brim in my eyes. I slammed my fist into the ground in defeat. "Please," I whispered, "I just want to get back to my baby…"

Izumi's breath hitched. She crouched before me and gripped my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes. "What do you mean?" she demanded.

"I was pregnant," I whispered. Izumi froze. She looked stricken. "I was five months pregnant when I was taken from my body. I don't know if it's still alive out there somewhere, or if I perished. Please, Master Izumi,  _ please _ help me get home. If there is any chance my baby somehow survived, I have to take it."

Izumi stood abruptly and turned away. I began to start begging again when she finally spoke. "I do not know any traditional form of martial arts," she said.

"I don't need you to," I answered immediately, hope surging forwards. I already had enough years of traditional training under my belt. What I needed was to learn to fight for real, and to learn the limits of this new world and my new body.

"What makes you think I can teach you anything? You are already skilled."

"You beat me," I retorted. "I'm sure you could tell. I have never been in a real fight. If you hadn't been holding back," and it hurt me to say this, because of course she had, "you would have easily killed me. I need to get stronger. If I am going to be able to help Edward when he joins the military then I need to be better."

Silence fell between us. My heart pounded like it would jump right out of my chest and I was afraid I would have a seizure before she would give her answer. Abruptly she spoke. "What would you have named your baby?"

I bit my lip and wondered what this had to do with anything, but it seemed vitally important to Izumi that I answer. "I didn't know at the time what gender it would be…" I started, "but the child I had been dreaming of for months had been a beautiful little girl. She would have had her daddy's black hair and her grandfather's green eyes. She would have had my mother's long nose and my small hands…” I inhaled slowly, forcing the words forward. It was as if I said her name, it would all be real...but I couldn’t run away forever. “I would have named her Alyssa."

Slowly Izumi turned back around directed her black eyes to where I still kneeled on the ground. "I won't train you."

My stomach plummeted through my body and into the earth. She wouldn't…No! Just as quickly anger rose within me in a hot flash and I opened my mouth to demand WHY!

Before I could say anything, Izumi lifted her hand in a placating gesture. "I will not train you, because I am not qualified. My entire style is based off fighting with alchemy, and you are not an alchemist. You are already skilled and the only thing I could do for you is beat you to a pulp over and over again. What you need is to bring the skills you already have to the next level. I can't teach you, but I can introduce you to someone who can."

-o0o-

On the very edge of town, past the market and on the other side of the family park, in the oldest district that had once been downtown resided a bar called the Plaid Skirt. Once, it was a place where young women would serve drinks to a loyal customer base every night. Once it was a successful business where friends would gather every Friday and Saturday night to enjoy drinks and fine company into the wee hours of the morning.

That is, until the Roaring Bull opened across town. Where The Plaid Skirt was homey and warm, the Roaring Bull was lively and exciting. Where the small pub was traditionally built with wood slats and old beer signs, the Roaring Bull was a marvel of modern architecture. And so, as was the nature of such things, it was a Saturday night, and the only occupant of the bar with a dimly blinking open sign was the bartender, snoring away behind the counter.

Well, until the door slammed open with an ear splitting crack. "Orkan!"

Orkan the bartender snorted in alarm and snapped to attention, nearly toppling to the floor. Oh _ no _ . He knew that voice. That dreaded voice that always brought him trouble every time it graced his ears. He slowly looked up at the door and sure enough there was–

"I-Izumi! What a pleasant surprise," the aged man stammered, even as he reached under the bar to grip his baston. He knew better than to be unarmed around this unpredictable woman. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Cut the crap, Orkan, and pour me a drink." Izumi stalked into his bar like the tempest she was and sat heavily on a barstool. A kid walked in behind her and Orkan observed him curiously as he made Izumi her usual. He was short, probably around age ten, with blond hair and striking green eyes. A large abrasion covered his brow and he moved gingerly, as if someone had beaten the hell out of him. Orkan shifted his attention back to Izumi as he slammed the drink in front of her. She threw it back in two big gulps.

"Alright, out with it," Orkan stroked his short gray beard and glared with bright blue eyes.

"Whatever do you mean," Izumi retorted innocently.

He snorted in disbelief. "The only reason you ever come out here is if you want something, and we both know it. So out with it."

A dramatic sigh, "Oh, Orkan, I'm hurt. Can't you just trust that I came out here to visit an old friend?" Orkan lifted a brow and did not react to her theatrics. Her face became serious. "Oh, alright. I need you to train someone."

"The kid?" Orkan's eyes flickered to the only other occupant in the room and gave him a fierce glare. The boy did not look away.

"Yes," Izumi said, "He's already trained in several martial arts."

"Is he any good?"

"I tested him myself." Orkan hummed to himself. If Izumi said the kid was good, then he believed her. But it had been several years since the old man had taken on a student, and he didn't feel all that bothered to take on another one. Still…

"What's in it for me?" He may have been an old, decrepit bastard, but he was an opportunistic one.

Izumi grinned, her canines glimmering in the dim light. She clapped her hands and both man and boy flinched as the room lit with a violent white light, electricity crackling and making their hair stand on end. And then she slammed her charged hands to the floor. Instantly, in a great flash of blue light, the old wooden shingling became beautiful polished wood, the old bar signs became good as new, and the old, damaged furniture transformed into comfortable modern furnishings. She stood with a grin, hand gripping her stomach tightly, but still standing straight and tall.

Orkan dropped the glass he had been washing with a rag and it shattered on the newly polished floors. His mouth opened in shock.  _ Damned alchemists always flaunting their unnatural powers everywhere just to get what they want! _

"Boy," Orkan barked. The kid jumped to attention from his own gaping at the incredible transmutation. "Get your shit to the bedroom upstairs. We start at dawn."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From what I can tell of the brief episodes of the Elric's training, Izumi's method of teaching them was to have the boys come at her a bunch of times until they finally got past her defenses. Now, she is a very formidable opponent, and it worked really well for Ed and Al as beginners, but she was also training them to fight with alchemy at the same time. I just don't see her having the battle tactics experience to teach someone who has no interest in alchemy and would not be able to incorporate it. So off Alex goes to a hand-to-hand battle tactics expert!
> 
> Orkan literally means ‘hurricane’ in German. At least according to Google Translate.
> 
> A baston is a wooden stick used as a weapon.
> 
> Next Chapter: Alex curses Alphonse's attractiveness. His new crazy uncle approves.


	7. Chapter 7

Serenely, I wiped a glass behind the tall wooden counter, enjoying the momentary calm of the hours before opening. Master Orkan still slumbered upstairs, sleeping off the drink he had consumed the night before while entertaining customers. It was our day off though, so I let him sleep.

The popularity of the Plaid Skirt had skyrocketed after the transmutation Izumi had performed as payment for my training. It also helped that the owner of the Roaring Bull mysteriously closed down his bar after he decided that he should open a mine on the outskirts of town, where precious minerals had (conveniently) been found. Izumi swears up and down that it was just a very fortunate coincidence, but both Master Orkan and I knew better.

My first impression of the old man was not good to say the least. Irascible and rude, he was always yelling and saying harsh words by default, it seemed. On my first day of training–after being unceremoniously dumped in a spare bedroom the size of a closet–Orkan grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and dragged me out of bed to the large field behind the bar. There he immediately commenced to 'test' me.

In other words, he beat the shit out of me.

The deceptively thin and wiry man was a blur of movement that I could barely follow with my eyes, let alone react to. No matter how I dodged, he had another hit coming that I couldn't avoid. No matter how I tried to hit him, he always had a counter. All the while, he spit foul insults and degrading words at my face, trying to make me angry.

He did.

"Come on you little twerp, you call that a dodge?"

"Get up, ass-wipe, that was barely a love tap!"

"You're going to have to do better than that you half-pint weakling!"

Frustrated that I couldn't touch the guy, and fed-up with his insults, I lost it. "Shut up!" I screamed. His smug face was the last thing I knew for a long while.

I woke the next day. The old jackass had knocked me out and dragged my sorry butt back to the bar. When I finally came to, he was sitting over me, smoking a pipe. I immediately flushed with shame for having been knocked out. I’m no stranger to pain, had been through quite a bit in my life, but never had I been knocked out in a spar. Sure, in the beginning I lost all the time, but this was different. I had trained for years and had long been in the higher echelons of my class, even reaching instructor status ages ago despite not being the strongest. It had always been a source of pride for me, and this utter defeat, as if I were still a beginning whelp, was humiliating. It brought into question everything I had thought I achieved, everything I learned from my various masters and instructors that had given me my skills and awarded me my ranks. Had it all been for show? Was I really just a useless dancer, unable to put my skills to the test? This self doubt, while not exactly new to me, was something I had put behind me long ago, and to have it resurface was unpleasant to say the least.

I sent Orkan my fiercest glare, aggressive and defensive in turns. He merely rolled his eyes and  snorted in amusement. A heavily calloused and aged hand reached down and I flinched. He ruffled my hair.

"No need to be so hard on yourself, kid,” I grit my teeth in indignation, but he only rubbed my head harder. “You've got good reflexes, but you move like a drunkard, and you try to reach farther than your body is capable of. It’s odd,” he mused, squinting his blue eyes. “Feels like you’ve been training for years. How old are you, ten? Hm…”

I froze, peaking up beneath my ruffled bangs with a sudden flush of dread. Had he figured it out? Izumi had warned me that if I went around telling people what happened to me, I was likely to get shipped off to the nearest lab and dissected. But she wouldn’t leave me with someone who would do that...right? His next words put me at ease.

"Well, I am going to pound that out of you, boy. If you actually knew your body's limits you wouldn't have done as badly as you did. Your previous teacher must have been off his rocker to miss this." I bristled, immediately defensive of my previous masters, who had been nothing but completely awesome, but then deflated when I realized I couldn’t exactly explain it wasn’t their neglectful training, but the fact that I’ve shrunk a foot and am now completely unfamiliar with my body.  I would just have to prove to Orkan that I’ve got what it takes and clear their names that way.

He looked away from me, turning his fierce eyes to the wall. "But you did better than most idiots I've had to train." This was said with the air of a man who did not give compliments easily or often, but when he did, it meant something. I gaped at him and he avoided my eyes uncomfortably.

After seeming to shake it off, Orkan pulled me roughly to my feet and flashed me a menacing grin. "Real training starts now."

The next few months were a blur of pain and degradation for me as Orkan remade me from scratch. There were some slight awkwardness in the beginning when I called him “Master Orkan” for the first time. The title seemed to embarrass him, which I thought was silly since he had obviously trained people before. But I guess it wasn’t like we were training in any of the traditional oriental fighting systems I was used to, so maybe the title _was_ inappropriate, but funnily enough, he never corrected me. It seemed to please him (at least I thought so with all of his blustery grumbling), so I didn’t bother to change it.

Just as he promised, he helped me learn the limits of my body. And what a body it was.

Alphonse may have been small, but he’s surprisingly durable. I don't know if it was because he had endured rough intensive training, this was the result of being torn apart and remade, or if the people in this strange reality were just stronger than in mine, but the kid could take a beating. Attacks that would have taken me out of the fight before I could now shake off with only some bruising as a result. Also, I had noticed this before, but it still amazed me how quickly I could move and how far I could jump. It was like living under water for your entire life and then suddenly coming to live on the surface. Orkan helped me adjust to my new strength and I gained abilities I would never have dreamed of in my other life.

A routine was established. Before sunrise I would wake and do an hour of conditioning before meeting Master Orkan in the training field behind the bar. There we would spar, and he would teach me how to react to every scenario imaginable. He never went easy on me, and I never complained. This was what I asked for after all. At noon we would stop and take a bath and a short nap before preparing the Plaid Skirt for business for the night. From three in the afternoon till one in the morning, I waited tables and made drinks at the bar (Master Orkan never let me drink though, the jerk). In the morning it would start all over again.

That old man really knew his stuff, I'd give him that much. He trained me in everything from weapons to hand-to-hand, single to multiple opponents, armed and unarmed opponents, hostage situations, and even how to fight wild animals. When I hinted, a few months in, that I would be involved with the military, he gave me a hard, long stare. I shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny, but eventually he just grunted and resumed my training without question. It wasn’t quite the same after that though, as he expanded my education to include field tactics. He even went so far as to drill me on situations where I, as a commanding officer, was responsible for subordinates in combat scenarios. I’m not sure why I would need to know that, as I wasn’t going to join the military’s command track or anything. After all, this body was still a child, and I didn’t intend to stay here that long or to overly invest myself in this country’s politics. I just wanted to help the Elrics get in, find out what they needed to know, then get the hell out. Still, I shut up and learned, because I was going to absorb every bit of knowledge this old goat had in him.

I wondered how an old man like him could possibly have this much knowledge about war. He must have been a great commander in his youth or at least a part of the military. He held that same air of command I would expect from a man who was used to giving orders and having them followed without question.

One night, I asked him. "Kid," he said in his gruff manner, "the day I tell you my life's story is the day you tell me the reason you want to fight so bad." I didn't ask again.

The training was intense, both in body and in mind, and if I hadn't been passionate about my cause I might have given up. And I was passionate. The ache of missing my home, my life and my love had me in the deepest well of depression and anger I had ever experienced, and no amount of physical pain and humiliation could rival it. Only chasing after the dream of returning home kept me going every day, and I used the training to block out everything else.

There was one thing Master Orkan could not help me with, and that was fighting against an alchemist. Oh, he could describe how to dodge spikes made out of concrete, or how to get out of a trap an alchemist had set, but there was only one way to learn how to fight an alchemist: by actually fighting one.

Once a month, I would travel to Izumi's homey little cottage. I would stay for dinner and we would exchange pleasantries. I would say hello to her giant bear of a husband and they would put me in the spare bedroom of the second floor. Then I would challenge her to a duel.

Izumi's training was in some ways just as intense as Master Orkan's. True to her word, she did not teach me how to use the science, only how to combat it. And then she would attack.

A year passed in this manner, and I began to change. I grew taller, reaching five foot two inches, just half a foot shorter than my previous body. The constant training burned off any baby fat my body might have had left, although my face still had the sweet quality of a young boy. My voice hadn't started cracking yet, and I cringed to think that in as soon as a year I would have to go through puberty for a second time. At least this time around I wouldn't have to deal with certain womanly problems. Yay me.

"Watcha thinking about?" a sweet voice asked from the other side of the bar, startling me out of my musings, and I realized I had been washing the same glass for a good half hour. Tanya, a girl a little older than me, leaned over the bar with her arms folded under her considerable bust. How she had such a...developed body at her young age of about fourteen was beyond me, as when I was that age I was still just a thin, formless waif. The world just wasn't fair sometimes, but that was beside the point. She was one of the girls who worked as waitresses at the Plaid Skirt, and who had been showing an uncomfortable interest in me, in that awkward fumbling way of young girls just beginning to be interested in the opposite sex.

"It's nothing," I said a little uncomfortably. I ran my fingers through the chin length bangs that fell beside my face. The rest of my hair was pulled back into a ponytail to combat the heat of the afternoon.

She tilted her head cutely and pressed her chest just a little farther forward, no doubt trying to appeal to me. I was embarrassed to say that I had something of a…female fan club. Over the previous year I had become used to being thought of and treated as a boy, and had even started trying to think of myself as male, not that it was working. It’s odd, I never really thought too much about what gender I was, because, well, I always comfortable in the way I was and...just _was_. I didn’t think about it unless I was in a specific situation where it mattered, such as when certain bodily functions hit, or when I had to deal with some chauvinistic asshole. I mostly hung out with male friends, being into a still male dominated contact sport as I happened to be, so I had never been what I would call overly effeminate. Still, looking at Tanya, her curves, the flirtatious and naturally smooth way she moved, I felt...jealous.

Now that I was male physically, I felt the need to suppress any femininity I might have had before, which was a surprising amount despite never having been one of those overtly effeminate girls. There were so many moments that I had to remind myself: Alex, you are an eleven year old boy, don’t walk like that. Or: Alex, stop tilting your head that way, men aren’t supposed to flirt with other men...You get the idea. It was exhausting, and part of me wondered why I even bothered when I was forced into this situation in the first place, so _fuckem_ , but another large part of me couldn’t shake the ideals I had grown up with in my youth, nor could I ignore the acute self consciousness I felt every time someone looked at me, as if they knew I was somehow wrong on the inside (or in this case, the outside) and...well, it was a circular argument even in my own mind. I was confused, and felt like I was going through puberty all over again, which I kinda was.

In any case, I never thought I would have to deal with wondering about my gender identity, and this is _bull_ because I shouldn’t have to. But here I am, in another crazy dimension where I am one hundred percent physically male and knowing that the only thing stopping me from being myself is _me_. Life’s a bitch.

But back to the matter at hand. Tanya, the naturally pretty, completely-comfortable-in-her-own skin- and-trying-to-seduce-me young woman, was gazing into my glazed eyes with a lot more interested than should be legal for kids our age. I sighed inaudibly. I didn't think I would ever really get used to having women throw themselves at me. I guess in a way, I couldn't blame them. I was pretty attractive in a boyish kind of way, and if I had seen Alphonse when I was a young girl, I would have easily fallen for him. Maybe someday I would fully accept my odd situation (doubtful), but for now, the attention I was getting was still unsettling.

Orkan chose that moment to show his face, stumbling down the stairs grumbling to himself. I sighed in relief as Tanya moved away and tried to look busy. No one wanted to talk to Orkan right after he woke up. He wandered over to the bar and sat at a stool, seemingly without opening his eyes. Wordlessly I handed over what I always fixed for him when he came down the stairs hung over: a shot of whiskey, a tall glass of water, and a peppermint. He threw back the whiskey, and without missing a beat downed the water as well. Once the mint was firmly between his teeth, he finally squinted open his baby blues to regard me.

"What are you looking at, kid?" he growled irritably.

"Nothing, old man," I retorted as always.

He grunted noncommittally at our normal banter and glanced over his shoulder at Tanya, who was currently bending over a table she was washing and exposing more of her legs under her skirt than strictly necessary. I whacked him in the face with a towel.

"That wasn't very nice," he whined. Over the past year and a half, as he gained more respect for me, he had become more candid in my presence; less like an instructor and more like a crazy uncle.

"Eyes over here, ass," I said with exasperated affection.

"Come on," he ribbed, miming poking me in the side with his elbow. "It's not for me that she's bending over like that. Aren't you the least bit affected? What kind of man are you?"

I rolled my eyes. I’m the kind of man that is a straight woman, thankyouverymuch. Not that I would say as such out loud. "You know I'm not interested in dating anyone right now. I have to–"

"Yeah, yeah, ya have to get stronger blah, blah, blah," he interrupted me, flapping his hand absurdly and rolling his eyes. "Besides, I'm not talking about _dating_ , just a little bit of _fun_."

I held up my hand to stop him and pinched my nose, trying to soothe my headache. "Don't even go there you old pervert. We're just kids." Seriously, who tells a twelve-year-old boy to go bone some girl for fun! If I had been a girl, there was no way he would be talking to me like this. Besides that, I didn't even want to think about doing _anything_ of that nature in this borrowed body. Especially not before it even develops _pubic hair_ for god’s sake.

He laughed his big booming laugh and ruffled my hair, causing me to smack his hand away. "I'm just teasing. Loosen up a little, kid, you are way too serious all the time."

Before I could tell him where he could shove his advice, the phone started ringing. I dodged his hand as he tried to ruffle my hair again and answered it.

"Plaid Skirt, this is Elric." I had long gotten over the fact that the name of this bar made it sound like I was answering a sex hotline.

"Alex! It's me, Alphonse," a boy's voice answered.

"Al, long time no speak," I said, smiling widely, immediately cheered. It’d been at least six months since we spoke last. It was good to hear his voice again.

"Sorry," Al said, sounding contrite. That boy was just too sweet for his own good. "Brother and I have been training like crazy."

"Same here," I said easily. I hadn't called either after all. "So what's the occasion, oh brother mine," I teased.

"He's ready."

Instantly, my smile dropped, heart leaping in my chest. "Seriously? It's only been a year and a half." This was huge.

"Yeah," Al continued. "You know brother. Once he get's that determined look on his face the world bends over backward to accommodate him."

"Yeah," I said, though I really didn't know Edward all that well yet. Still, excitement rose within me. This was way faster than I had anticipated. It was finally time to move forward. We exchanged a few more pleasantries and promised to see each other soon and I hung up the phone.

I hung my head in thought. Edward was finally ready to move forward with our plan, but was I? I had only trained for a year and a scant few months, but I had improved exponentially in that time. Was I really strong enough to move on?

There was only one way to find out. "Hey, old man." He turned slowly and pretended like he had not been listening to my whole conversation. I pinned him with a fierce look and a devious smile. "Gear up and meet me out back." One way or another, I was heading back to Resembool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Alex is going through a lot of shiz right now. This is interesting for me to write for sure, because I’m not one of those people who has ever had to worry about my gender identity, so I really had to think long and hard about how I would feel if something like this ever happened to me. Shudders. I can’t imagine it would be pleasant. Well, I mean I can, ‘cause I’m writing it, but whether it’s accurate or not...meh. Up to you guys if you think it’s realistic or not. 
> 
> Anywho, finally at the part of the development where the plot can move forward, so excited for that! Awww, Alex found a mentor! Everyone has to love having a perverted old uncle (I have three). 
> 
> Next Chapter: our boys finally reunite. It's time to move on.


	8. Chapter 8

_Resembool is just as beautiful as I remember_ , I thought as I strolled down the wandering dirt road. I almost forgot just how serene it is out here...Slowly I passed by the quaint little houses of this spread out village, belt clanking under my jacket, and thought about my last encounter with that irascible old man. Though I felt ecstatic that I’m finally moving forward, I would miss our routine, that little bar and even him, though I would never say that outloud.

After our last fight, when both of us lay on our backs in defeat, Master Orkan had let out a booming laugh. "I must be getting old, to be beaten by some punk kid."

"A punk kid you trained," I gasped, still out of breath from the intense fight. "Besides, I didn't win, are you going senile or something?" It was true. After an hour of fighting and several rounds later, our bodies nearly giving out in exhaustion but both of us too stubborn to quit, Orkan finally ended it with a 'fatal' blow before collapsing beside me on the grass.

"What was that, brat!?"

"You heard me, you old jackass!" I smacked him weakly on the stomach with the back of my hand. It bounced off. He smacked me back and I grunted. For a while, we heard nothing but the chirp of cicadas, the rustling of the grass, and the sound of us regaining our breath.

"You're ready." Startled, I turned my head to regard him. He was staring up at the sky, his old face more relaxed than I had ever seen it. “There ain’t really anything else I can teach you.”

"But I lost."

He shook his head. "You didn't. I'm not sure when it started, but I began to notice something." He turned his head to look at me with his fierce blue eyes. With the horizon behind him, it was as if he had pulled the color down straight from the sky. "You never go for the kill."

Immediately, I began to protest, but my words stopped somewhere between my exhausted brain and the back of my dry throat. I thought back to our fight. Flashing before my eyes were all the times there had been an opening to end it, but I had held back because there was a slight chance that if he hadn't dodged in just the right way, or if he hadn't seen it coming, I could have killed him. I could understand that on some level though, as I had never trained with that intent before. There had never been any reason to need to actually _hurt_ someone. And well, a large part of me still doesn’t want to ever have to. Eighteen months of training did not undo ten years of conditioning.

"You only attack to disable," he continued. He sat up with a grunt and looked down on me seriously. "Admirable to be sure, but dangerous. If I had been a real opponent, if I had really been trying to end you, you wouldn't have stood a chance. The world is dangerous, and sometimes the only way to survive is to strike first and strike hard. If someone is trying to kill you or someone you are trying to protect and there is an opening to end it, take it. You," he poked me in the chest, "are the most important person on the planet, because the only way to protect others is to protect yourself."

I pursed my lips, considering his words no matter how much I still didn’t like it. Orkan was right. No amount of wishful thinking would protect me or others in the event that I was forced to fight. "You look constipated when you talk so serious, old man," I said, breaking the strange tension that had settled around us.

"What was that, punk?!"

"You heard me!" He pulled me into a headlock and ruffled my hair till I surrendered.

As a parting gift, Master Orkan had given me his favorite weapons, which were now bouncing at the small of my back where I secured them. "See you again soon, kid," he had said with a smirk. I hoped I would.

Izumi had not been there when I stopped by her place to say goodbye, so I left a note underneath her door, thanking her for all she had done for me. It was time to move on, so I boarded the next train to Resembool and bade Dublith goodbye.

I smiled as I finally saw the top of Pinako's house peeking over the hill. About time! I had forgotten what a long walk it was from the residence to the station. As I got closer, a welcome sight greeted me.

Winry and Alphonse sat in front of the house in the grass. As soon as I came into view, Al jumped up in excitement and began waving. Winry mirrored his movements beside him, and I was struck again by his size. Man, I had forgotten just how large that kid was! I waved back.

Winry shouted at the house and out walked, yes _walked_ , none other than Edward, garbed in short blue shorts and a white t-shirt. Just like me, it looked like he had changed in this past year, though I couldn't make out much from where I was walking. He had grown out his blond locks similarly to mine and he leaned cockily against the railing of the porch.

He looked whole again. Or at least more whole than I ever saw him.

Just then, a big hulking suit of metal blocked my vision as Al and Winry  jogged up to greet me. "Alex," Winry greeted me exuberantly. She immediately pulled me into a hug and I grunted at her enthusiasm.

"Hi Winry," I huffed, wrapping my arms around her slim shoulders. She had changed as well, standing just a little shorter than I and even prettier than I last saw her. I looked up at Al, who stood just a few feet away, keeping a careful distance.

"Hi, Al," I said with a huge grin, "It's great to see you!"

"Yeah," Al returned happily. If he had a face, I'm sure he would have been smiling. "Wow Alex, you look great!"

"Thanks," I said. I had finally gotten my hair the way I wanted it. My bangs were parted down to the left so that the right side partially fell in my eyes. The rest of my hair was bound in a low ponytail, which I habitually pulled over my left shoulder. This was how I had always worn it in my other life, and I was relieved to find that it wasn't abnormal for men to grow their hair out in this world, despite the time period mirroring the roaring twenties of my reality. I knew it wasn't only my hair he was talking about, though.

I carried myself differently than when we last saw each other. I had more confidence in my stride and I held my shoulders straight, no longer so intensely burdened with my grief and anger now that I had had a little time to deal with it. I also found a men's style of clothing that I liked. I wore a pair of dark flexible pants under a loose fitting black shirt that wouldn't restrict my movements. Over that I wore a collared dark green jacket my master had given me when I finished training under him. The back was emblazoned with his crest; an emerald green circle surrounded by calligraphic brush strokes that pin-wheeled around it like the eye of a hurricane.

"You too," I said, and I meant it. Al seemed…happier than I last saw him. His armor was polished till it glowed and he also wore the crest of Izumi painted in red on his shoulder; a snake twining around a cross with wings and crown hovering above it. He was finally taking care of his new body and I took that as a sign that he had healed a bit as well.

He lifted his hand to the back of his head and laughed self-consciously. "Heh, yeah,"

"Come on," Winry finally called, pulling me toward the house.

"Ok, ok," I laughed, stumbling along behind her. As we got closer, I could make out more details of Edward, who was still leaning against the porch rail waiting for us. I got my first eyeful of how good he really looked. His eyes were brighter and clearer than I ever remembered seeing them and his tanned face glowed with health. He gave me an arrogant smirk. For the first time, I noticed just how good-looking he was. His features, which were no longer pulled down by the weight of his grief, were a bit manlier than mine and I could already tell that when he grew up he was going to be a great beauty. _Maybe_ , I thought optimistically, _he can distract the ladies from me!_ I giggled a little at the thought. My eyes shifted down and I inspected his new automail limbs.

"Wow," I whistled, impressed. The steel limbs looked just like his flesh ones, only they glowed gunmetal grey in the bright sunlight. I was astounded at just how realistic they looked. His foot even had little toes!

"Alex," he greeted when we stopped a few yards away. His voice was just as attractive as I remembered it, breathy and low.

"Edward," I greeted back. "You look great. How are those new limbs treating you?"

"See for yourself!" With that the boy planted his automail hand on the railing of the porch and lifted his body over, his prosthetic leg glinting in the sunlight. He landed with perfect balance with a thump and stood up straight, gracing me with a toothy grin. He opened his arms as if to say 'what do you think'. I grinned back.

Suddenly his expression froze, and he really looked at me. He stalked forward till he stood front and center, mouth dropping open in horror.

I tilted my head. _What's his problem?_

"How…" he started in a small voice. Then he dramatically pointed, arm flailing up and down. "How are you taller than me!?" He shouted loudly, and I had to wait a second for my ears to stop ringing. Winry and Al were standing off to the side, both covering their mouths. Winry looked like she was holding back a laugh.

I furrowed my brow in confusion, and then it hit me. Edward was _older_ than me, and I was about three inches taller. The kid looked flabbergasted, his mouth hanging open comically.

I slow smile crept up on my face. "Why Ed," I said evilly, "you look smaller than when I last saw you."

The explosion was immediate and destructive. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL MY LITTLE BROTHER CAN PICK ME UP WITH ONE HAND THROW ME ON THE ROOF?!"

Ed lunged at me, and I ran.

-o0o-

Edward crouched down in the clearing just a few yards away. I mirrored his position, one knee planted in the grass, still damp from the morning dew. Al stood just a ways off in between us, his arms crossed stoically. Neither of us moved, both waiting for the other to twitch. The wind blew my bangs slightly into my eyes. I ignored it.

Ed moved first. He grit his teeth and lunged, shattering into motion. He came at me with a right punch. I easily dodged and swung my leg around, aiming for his head, only to divert it at the last moment when he tried to block with his steel arm. That definitely wouldn't feel good. We jumped apart and immediately came back together, exchanging a series of furious blows. I winced every time my flesh came into contact with his hard appendages and was careful to divert as much force away from my body as I could. Ed swung a vicious uppercut and I dove backwards, executing a one handed backflip as it whistled inches past my nose.

We paused for a second, reevaluating each other. This kid is good, I thought, at least as good as Alphonse. I was going to have to step it up a notch. Ed evidently felt the same, because he jumped back and knelt to the ground, his arms moving in a blur.

"Oh no you don't," I exclaimed, surging forwards. If he thought I was going to let him complete a transmutation circle, he was very much mistaken! He jerked back as my heel slammed into his unfinished circle and jumped away again. I didn't let him go far. "You're going to have to be faster than that, twerp," I shouted, habitually falling into yelling insults while I battled. It was a tactic I had picked up from both Orkan and Izumi. I lunged forward and slipped my arm underneath his. I heaved and threw him as hard as I could over my shoulder.

He gave a startled cry but managed to land on his feet before I could slam my fist into the ground where he had been. "Don't call me twerp!" he yelled, touching his flesh hand to the back of his automail arm. In a flash of light, the metal appendage transformed into a solid club.

I cursed. The boy had drawn a transmutation circle on his arm before we started! Swiftly, I pulled out my weapons from the back of my belt and brought them forward to block just before he could hit me with his transformed arm. His club slammed into my crossed weapons. He jumped back to reassess the new threat.

I brought my weapons into a defensive position and waited for another attack. In my hands were two metal tonfa. They were straight poles a little longer than my forearms with handles sticking out perpendicularly. While black at first glance, they flashed an acid green when turned in the sunlight.

"You going to fight me with chopsticks now?" Edward taunted. I smirked. We were just about to launch back into battle when a piercing scream had us both jumping a foot into the air in fright.

We both froze and looked over to see Winry, her face open in horror and her shaking fist clenched around a large wrench. "What have you done to my automail!?"

With growing trepidation, Edward immediately hid his transformed arm behind his back and touched the transmutation circle. It changed back in a flash of light. "Nothing!" He shouted frantically, waving his perfectly formed hands in a placating gesture.

"Nothing my foot! I saw what you did! Get back here!" Winry started chasing the contrite and terrified blond around the yard, shaking her wrench in the air.

With a stunned chuckle, I stowed my tonfa back in their sheath at the small of my back and walked over to Alphonse.

"Impressive," he said, not at all fazed by the fight going on in the yard.

"You guys too," I said, "I really don't know which of us would have won that fight."

Al shook his head, the armor clanking slightly. "No, you are definitely better. I could tell Ed was getting nervous."

"Oh," I said, blushing lightly, not expecting the compliment. I wasn't too sure about that though. Ed was like a force of nature.

"So when are we leaving?" I asked. As much as I enjoyed hanging around and sparring, I was eager to start our journey.

"Tomorrow."

-o0o-

"Hm." I hummed to myself, tapping my chin with one hand. Ed, Al and I were currently waiting at the station, waiting for the next train to Central. I was getting us some food with Al while Ed excused himself to make a phone call.

We stood at a booth that was emitting a fabulous smell. I had to hand it to this opportunistic old lady, she could really make a bread roll. Which was a good thing, because she was the only booth in the vicinity. I had chosen two types of meat filled rolls but I was struggling to choose a third. They were all just so tempting!

"Is it really that hard to decide?" Al asked.

I felt passion rise within me and I threw my hands in the air dramatically. "Of course it is! They all smell so delicious, and we may never have time again to come sample this wonderful woman's fabulous cooking," I shouted with a theatrical bow to the old woman. Just like I hoped, the old gal blushed and gave a giggle.

"Such a charmer," she simpered.

Al laughed beside me. "Come on, Alex, get your muffins before you give the poor lady a heart attack."

"It's not my fault you're so beautiful, little brother," I said, bending over and selecting my last choice. Al spluttered and made a playful swipe at my head, which I dodged without even looking up.

"Al," Edward shouted across the way. His voice was a bit drowned out by the sound of the train leaving behind us. "Wrap it up guys, we need to get on that train!"

"Now?" Al asked in disbelief, eying the train that was already ten feet gone.

"Change of plans!" Ed shouted back at us as he took off running.

We made it, but it was a close thing. A few minutes later found us sitting on hard benches in the passenger car. Ed leaned against the window with a bun stuffed in his face on one bench, while Al and I sat on the other.

"What's so special about this train anyway?" I asked sullenly. I felt really bad when I had to throw money at the poor stand operator before taking off. I didn't even know if it was enough!

Edward shrugged his shoulders. "Heck if I know," he mumbled through a mouthful of bun. "I can't get a read on this Mustang guy, it's like he's trying to be difficult."

I rolled my eyes and bit into my own bun. It melted in my mouth. "Mmmmm," I groaned in delight. It tasted somewhere between a donut and a barbeque sandwich. That old woman really knew her stuff. Al chuckled at my comical expression.

"Must be really good," he said.

I turned my head to look up at him. Even sitting down he was a foot taller than me. "The greatest," I said with a big grin.

"You have sauce on your face."

I slapped my hand over my mouth in embarrassment. Al huffed in amusement.

"Do you want a taste?" I asked, a bit tentatively. We had discovered after I came back that If Al avoided direct contact with my skin he could get the gist of what I was experiencing without delving too deep into my emotions.

Izumi had put some of my fears to rest about the empathy link. She didn't know much about my situation, but she did know a thing or two about soul seals. She told me that as long as Al's soul was attached to the seal, he could not push mine out of this body. It acted as an anchor, and the only way to separate him from the armor is to destroy the seal. That at least solved one of the problems. I wasn't going anywhere just because he touched me.

Other issues still remained to be resolved, however. Al and I still needed to have an in-depth discussion about how he felt about all of this. Did it hurt him emotionally every time we touched because he only got a 'taste' of what it was like to have a body, or was it his only balm and comfort, the only thing that made his existence bearable?

I had to consider my feelings about it as well. I felt…guilty. It was irrational, I knew, because it was not my fault. I'm sure if I said it out loud, Al would say the same. Still, it was there like a constant ache in my chest. I wanted to help, and if enduring a little emotional strain was all it took, then I would.

"Is that alright?" he asked, just as hesitantly.

I smiled gently. "Of course!" I pulled up my hood and carefully leaned against him, taking a big bite of my bun. Vaguely, I felt his emotions, but it was like trying to see something in a rainstorm, and it was far from unbearable. Delight filtered through our link from both of us as I finished my food.

Edward watched out of the corner of his eye from where he sat, his face inscrutable, but when I looked up at him, he looked away.

My relationship with Edward was…tentative at best. I knew he still blamed himself for what he had done to all of us, and in some ways, so did I. In my eyes, it _was_ his fault. But my time away had done me a world of good, allowed me to step back a little. Just as all injuries, time had turned my mortal wounds into thick, ropy scars, and I was able to see things from a different perspective than just my own. They were just children. The desperation to regain their mother, the sinful books they had had access to, and being too smart for their own good: all of it compounded into one hell of a freak disaster. I wasn't blind. I could see that these were good kids who just wanted to see their mother smile again. And like children, they ignored the warnings of experienced adults just because they were in the way of something they wanted, and got hurt.

I was no longer angry with him. I could see that he was trying to make it right, and I respected him for it. We wouldn't be friends right away, and we may never quite be brothers, but in the years ahead, (and in my heart I knew it would be a long time) we could work together without too much animosity.

Still, just because I had resolved my feelings didn't mean Ed did. Unlike Al, he wasn't so trusting and accepting of my presence. He still treated me like an outsider, and his walls were a bit difficult to get through. I supposed I could only keep trying and that eventually time would bring them down.

Ed looked away and continued to chew his food.

"Ah," Al looked up and noticed a small face peeking over the seat behind Edward. A small child looked curiously at Al, but ducked behind the seat once she saw he noticed her. Alphonse slumped a bit. "Brother, am I scary?"

"Don't be silly Al," Ed scoffed with a joking smile, "You're kindness in a can."

The child tried to whisper, but we could clearly hear her speaking to her mother, who attempted to shush her. "Mama, he's strange."

A spike of depression came through our link, and I pulled away slightly. Al hung his arms in front of him and made a pitiful noise. Ed and I exchanged a look and he stood and turned around, intending to shush the child when he froze. Slowly, he sank back down to the seat.

"Geez, everyone's staring at us. Who ordered the ticket to the normalcy express?"

"Really?" I asked, peeking around the booth. Sure enough, we were receiving some pretty intense looks. I sat back, unsettled. Al sighed and I gave him a comforting pat. The girl ogled back over the booth and gave a tentative wave.

"There, see?" Ed encouraged, "she's not afraid of you. She likes you! Right?" He turned to the girl and gave a charming grin. She nodded with a cute giggle. Al perked up and waved back, his arm clanking slightly.

A couple hours passed and Ed had slowly sunk down into the seat, taking a nap. I was slightly jealous of his ability to sleep anywhere, since Al had taken out a book and I was currently staring bored out the window. I probably would have sat like that all the way to Central, save for what happened next.

"Hey, there is a kid with a suit of armor. He's not that short." I pulled my eyes from the window to see a tall man addressing us. He had gray hair and squinty eyes, and he was looking at me in confusion.

Hearing the word 'short', Edward instantly woke. He sat up and the man startled. "Whoa, I didn't even see _you_. Colonel wasn't kidding."

I'm pretty sure I hear a vein pop. "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THEY CAN'T BE SEEN WITHOUT A MAGNIFYING GLASS, YOU JERK!"

The man backed up. "Wha–I didn't say–" He tensed in alarm, jerking around. Swiftly, he fell to his knee, whipping a gun out from behind his back, and pointing it at the man beside him. He wasn't fast enough. Two men wearing dark jackets stood surrounding him, pointing their guns at his head. Slowly he dropped his weapon. "What the–" The man behind him promptly cut him off with the butt of his gun. The gray haired man fell to the floor unconscious. I inhaled sharply, barely having had time to react to the sudden attack, and Al gripped my arm, hard.

"All right, listen up! We don't need any heroes today. Everybody put your hands up and shut up."

The three of us exchanged glances before lifting our hands in surrender. Discreetly, I took in the scene beneath shuttered lashes, trying to take in as much of the situation as I could and doing my best to ignore the almost incapacitating amount of adrenaline brutally flushing my system. While we had been distracted, two terrorists had gotten close and were now pointing their guns at civilians. They wore dark clothes and sunglasses like thugs from an old film. If the situation hadn't been so serious, I might have laughed. As it was, one of those guns was pointed at the little girl behind us and this wasn’t funny at ALL.

"Hey you! Take off the helmet," one of the thugs shouted at Alphonse.

"Um," he said, hesitating.

Irritated, the man pointed his handgun at the person closest to him threateningly who happened to be...me. Joy. I brought my hands up to my chest in a placating gesture. "I said take it off!" I felt Ed and Al tense on either side of me.

Ed gasped loudly and pointed behind the men in front of us, an expression of abject horror on his face. "Aaaagh, What is that?" He shouted, nearly startling the pants off all of us.

"What–" the man turned around to see what the fuss was about. Instantly, I took advantage of his distraction. I snapped my palm against his wrist and grabbed his arm, pinning the side of the weapon against my shoulder towards the window, and slammed my knee into his groin. It went off with a jarring bang, shattering the window in a thankfully unoccupied booth and nearly deafening me. Pandemonium broke out around us as the wind and the screams of the passengers blocked out all else, but I only had concentration for the man pinned between my arms. As he bent forward with a gasp from my strike to his groin I reached over and wrenched the gun out of his weakened grip and used it to bludgeon his head. He felt to the floor in a heap.

Beside me, Ed took out his opponent just as quickly. He kneed the guy in the gut just as he was about to shoot me and followed up with a hook to the temple with his steel fist. The would be terrorist crumpled on top of his companion with a dull thump.

"Thanks," I said tersely, once I made sure the threat was neutralized. Ed gave me a cocky grin.

"You dumb kids, what are we supposed to do now?" shouted a man from the other side of the compartment, hysteria having died down slightly now that the current threat was over. "If we had cooperated, we would have been fine! Now they are going to come and investigate when their men don't show up."

I huffed a bit in annoyance. I could have gotten shot, dammit!

"We'll figure something out, old man," Ed said obnoxiously before turning on his heel and stalking towards the exit. "Come on guys, let's see what's going on out there."

With a reckless feeling, I held the loaded gun at the ready and turned to follow, Al clanking along beside me. I thought briefly about Master Orkan’s words. It looked like I would be putting his training to the test much sooner than I anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally planned for Alex to carry tonfa, since they are easy to conceal under a jacket and it's also my favorite weapon to train with. For those of you who have never seen this weapon: Tonfa, also known as tong fa or tuifa, is a traditional Okinawan weapon from which the modern side-handled police baton is derived. It’s from the kobudo discipline which is the Okinawan art of fighting with weapons made or taken from everyday objects. And now I’m done being a nerd. Well, almost. That speech Orkan gives Alex is something my instructor, Master Diaz, preaches often. Okay, now I’m done.
> 
> I'm going to tell you right now, this will not be a rewrite of the entire series with a third person tagging along. I hate it when authors do that. I will be following the basic events of the animes, but I won't recreate every episode word for word. The way I write em is to watch the episodes of the next story arch only once, and then create the scenes by memory. That way I'm not just repeating exactly what happened and you guys aren't bored with reading "Fullmetal Alchemist: the Novel." Some chapters will be very similar to the series, but I've got a huge sub-plot building, so that will keep it fresh. Also, like I said before, this will be a bastardized version of both FMA and FMAB, so please don't get too excited. I assure you, I'm doing it on purpose.
> 
> Next Chapter: Alex puts his control to the test for the first time, and maybe realizes that all his hopeful thinking was for naught.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trial by fire. Literally.

"Wait! Over here!"

We turned to see the grayed man from earlier squirm out of one of the booths like an inchworm, arms tied behind his back. I jogged over and helped him to sit up before eying his bonds. "So who are you guys?" he asked while I worked on plucking the knots. Edward crouched down to meet him eye to eye.

"Just some good old fashioned alchemists," he said with a slight smile. I grunted in amusement. Kid was having way too much fun with this.

"You don't say. I'm Warrant Officer Falman. Thanks for your help back there."

"You’re military? You don't look like it," Alphonse said.

"Yeah, I'm supposed to be undercover, so I'm not in uniform,” he said succinctly, eyeing Alphonse with something like scepticism. I couldn’t blame him, and no doubt Alphonse would be eyed like that a lot in the future in his current state. Heck, from his perspective, we were just a couple of kids and a large, strangely dressed man who took out a couple terrorists. Guess I should get used to the look as well. 

"What for?"

"Well," with a snap, Falman’s bonds finally came undone. He brought his hands to his front and rubbed them gratefully. "We have a high security guest. One of the front car type, if you catch my meaning."

"Figures," I grumbled to myself, standing up.

Falman glanced back at me but looked back forward when Edward spoke. "So that's why these goons are here. They are trying to get to this 'front car' passenger and take the rest of us down with them." He stood. "Al, Alex, you take out the guys in the train cars. I'm going up top." With that, Ed ran out the back of the car and slammed the door behind him.

"Is he always like that?" I said in annoyance. Who made him leader of the pack?

"Pretty much," Al answered in a long-suffering tone. "Come on, there could be other people in danger." Shrugging, I followed him out of the car.

"Hey kid, wait," Falman said. I paused looked over to him. He looked kind of woozy, as if he still hadn't gotten over the blow to the head. "Do you actually know how to use that thing?" He gestured to the gun with a halted motion of his hand.

I considered the weapon in my hand, pulling back the slide to check the chamber. It was a standard semi-automatic pistol, black. Nothing special about it really, other than the slightly foreign design I had come to be familiar with in this new world. I had handled many guns like this in my life, especially under the instruction of Orkan, who had expanded my repertoire of firearm knowledge beyond the standard run of the mill self defense weapons. 

I glanced up at him to reassure him, only to pause. He wasn’t really asking whether I knew how to handle it, the way I was holding it made it obvious that I could. It was the dismayed expression of a man seeing a dangerous weapon in the hands of a child, and the shock that I did indeed know how to use it at the seeming age of twelve. I closed my mouth slowly, not really able to think of a way to soothe him. Instead, I smiled wryly with a small shrug and left the shocked man behind. After all, he was a part of the military that recruited Edward. If they didn’t want children to fight, then they shouldn’t be doing shit like that.

Al waited impatiently to catch up before we exited the car, stepping into the small chamber between. We exchanged a look. 

“So what exactly are we doing here?” I asked, gesturing with the gun at the next compartment. 

“We need to stop them,” Al said hesitantly, and I just shook my head. 

“You go in first,” I said instead of the exasperated curse I wanted to. I wondered if it would be a trend, us getting into fights without any plan. “You are pretty much bullet proof. I’ll,” I swallowed, hand clenching spasmodically, “I’ll take them out from behind you.” I looked down at the gun in my hand and shook my trepidations aside sharply. I only had to think of the small girl we had only just met in the car behind us to steal my resolve. Al nodded, and without further ado, opened the car and we stepped inside.

The first car was the hardest, I thought. Not because it was difficult for me to respond, my body fell into its training like it should, it was...well, the aftermath. The realization, I guess. Al stepped in first and we surveyed the scene. The passengers had been forced to lay on the floor, their hands above their heads and faces down. Good, I thought. They wouldn’t get in the way. 

There was only one terrorist standing in this compartment, a pistol identical to mine pointed at the ceiling, rested against his shoulder casually. He turned towards us, barely having time for a surprised exclamation before I made my move. 

I spun around Alphonse, dropped to one knee and pulled the trigger. 

This wasn’t like being in a firing range and having enough time to carefully aim at the place I wanted the bullet to go. Not even like the drills I was accustomed to performing in controlled environments where the most stress I had to face was to beat a time limit and not miss the target. No, there was so much adrenaline in my blood that I couldn’t have really aimed if I tried. 

The man shouted in fright as the bullet exited the barrel with an ear shattering bang. The bullet missed him by a mile, slamming into the ceiling and just missing his right shoulder. He hit the floor regardless, his own weapon falling and skittering towards us. Alphonse lunged forward and snatched the weapon away before the startled man could amend his mistake. Not that he could have anyway. I was on him in a second, foot on his back and gun against his head. The weapon trembled slightly in my hands as I breathed harshly. 

Alphonse hurried over, pulling a piece of chalk out of his chest compartment where he stored things and drew on the floor. In a flash of light, the man was restrained, bound by the suddenly warped floor beneath him. The passengers stared at us in shock as I stepped away shakily. I flicked my eyes to the bullet hole in the wall,  _ oh god, I could have shot him dead, didn’t even hesitate _ , before locking gazes with Al. 

“I–” I swallowed, trying my best to compartmentalize. “I don’t think these guys really know what they are doing, Al.” 

“Doesn’t matter,” he said, sounding little more together than me. “We have to make sure they don’t hurt anyone else.” I nodded in agreement. No time to panic, we had a job to do. 

Systematically, we cleared each car. The terrorists did not seem as though they were prepared for any kind of resistance, which seemed odd to me since they obviously knew that there were military personnel aboard. Not all of them were as lucky as the first man, as Al and I performed the same maneuver each time. I missed a couple more times, but most shots hit home. Alphonse made sure to restrain each one, even if...even if the wound was fatal. I didn’t really have it in me to check, but I reassured myself with their pained groans as we left them behind at the mercies of the people that had been held up by them. We didn’t look back, and my tremors ceased, too focused on my task to panic. 

At about the sixth car, we felt more than heard an explosion that shook the train.

"What was that?" I yelled over the screaming of the passengers.

"Ed," Al grunted, restraining the last thug. "Make sure they don't get up!" Al instructed a man in the compartment beside him. We moved on.

"What's going on out there!?" A terrorist burst through the door we were about to enter, and I dove behind Al. "What the–" the man shouted, whipping his machine gun around.

"Wait, you shouldn't –" Al tried, but the man wouldn't listen. He started firing his machine gun with a yell. He got about three shots in before one of them ricocheted and hit him in the leg, and he fell down with a scream.

"I tried to warn you," he said. I peeked out from behind my adopted brother but quickly dove back when a second man came through, and in his panic at seeing Al, brought his gun up as well. "No wait!" Al tried again, but this man didn't listen either. The ricochet got him in the arm and he fell with a cry. "Ugh," Al groaned. I snorted loudly in almost hysterical amusement and he elbowed me in the ribs.

We stepped over the writhing men and pushed them out of the compartment. We had reached the front car. I maneuvered to the side of the door and nodded to Al. "Well, here goes." He said, and pulled the door open–only to jump back as a wall of water drained out, carrying a couple of drowned looking men with it. 

"Ed?" I asked Al weakly. 

"Ed," Al confirmed with a sagely nod.

Al turned to the stunned men and pounded his fists together menacingly. "Welcome to the brig." Leaving behind terrified screams, and sure Al could handle it, I stepped around him and into the compartment.

I passed through a couple more doors, clearing the rooms before I proceeded. I cracked the last one open and peeked through.

"Look on the bright side, Bald, you probably needed a shower." A large man wearing a ragged old cloak stood and jerked his head to the side to where I assumed another man had spoken. He looked different from the darkly dressed men we’d been encountering and I got the feeling that I just stumbled upon the ringleader. A flash of light flew through the air and 'Bald' whipped his cloak-covered arm around, blocking it with a clank. A knife skittered to the floor. With the same arm he blocked with, the dark haired man began shooting into the compartment with some hidden automatic weapon. The door slammed shut and trembled under the barrage, surprisingly not getting penetrated. I took a deep, steadying breath. I would only have one chance at this. This man was obviously more experienced than the others, and he didn’t seem like he would hesitate at all to take me out. 

Three...two….one!

I jerked the door open and spun around it, falling to my knee. I lifted the gun and pulled the trigger.

It clicked. My heart  _ stopped _ . 

_ Damnit _ , I cried in my head _ , I'm out of bullets! _

Bald looked at me for a moment with stunned disbelief. And then he started  _ laughing _ . "Ha!  _ This  _ is your cavalry, military dog? A kid with an empty gun?" he guffawed loudly. I cursed and spun back around the corner before he could do anything. I prepared myself for pursuit, but luckily I didn’t have to deal with this one. 

"No!" shouted a voice from above us, "I am!" Ed jumped through a hatch in the ceiling and landed in front of Bald, locking hands with the brute. His right arm hit with a loud clank, and Bald’s cloak fell to the side, revealing that Bald had an automail arm of his own. His looked harsh, more built to be a weapon than to replace a missing limb, the end obviously a barrel of a gun.

"What took you so long?!" I yelled as I dropped the useless gun, dodging around Bald and slipping into the passenger compartment. I slipped inside with a sigh of relief. 

"I was a little busy!" Ed grunted, holding valiantly against Bald's strength.

"What's this? The military leading runts to the chopping board these days?" Bald taunted.

"You're going to pay for that runt comment asshole! And no one is leading me anywhere, I'm on my own!"

While Ed and Bald bantered I crouched down and helped a man with glasses and slick black hair sit up. I inspected a shot wound on his arm underneath the purple fabric of his shirt. The man winced. "Aren't you going to help him?" He asked, gesturing to the door, where Ed was still exchanging insults with Bald.

"Nah, he's got it," I responded with a smirk. "I'm Alex." If anyone could take Bald out, it was Edward. And with the terrorist more interested than bantering than fighting, I had a feeling that this whole ordeal was just about over. 

"Hughes." The man smirked back. We leaned against the wall and watched Ed's fight, my body slumping in exhaustion as the adrenaline began to drain from my system.

"Let me give you a piece of advice, kid," Bald continued his monologue. "I used to be in the military too, and it was fine as long as I pissed on cue, but the second I got this upgraded arm they discharged me. You see, the queen bee doesn't like it when her workers are stronger than her. Since then, I've developed a taste for destroying them and everything they stand for."

"That's why you are threatening these people? Some petty grudge?!" Ed exclaimed.

"What do you mean petty! You are the same as me, getting an automail arm to gain power. You'll see–"

"Don't," Ed took a step forward, pushing the older man back, surprisingly stronger despite his smaller size, "you ever compare the reasons for my automail arm," Bald struggled to hold his ground, shocked, "with yours!" With a wild look in his eye, Ed smashed the automail in his hand, the lower grade pieces of it scattering on the floor. Bald stumbled back with a startled shout, only to fall into Al, who reared back and knocked the obnoxious man into next week.

I gave Hughes a look and gestured in the direction of the two brothers as if to say, 'see?' and with a bracing breath, sidled out of the compartment. I gave a low whistle at the destruction. "Damn, kid, remind me not to get on your bad side."

"Don't call me kid, you're younger than me." Ed retorted back immediately, crossing his arms.

"Alright, alright, 'big brother'," I chuckled. Something caught my eye in my peripheral vision. I gaped. "Um, Ed? What the heck is that?" I pointed to an oddly shaped horn sticking out of the wall. It looked like some kind of strange duck but it had Ed's braid and hair antenna-like cowlick, and it was looking fiercely down at us with crudely illustrated eyes. I guffawed. "Oh my god, is that supposed to be you?" Al snickered when he spotted it as well.

"Shut up!" Ed screeched. "You try to focus enough to visualize exactly what you want to transmute in a high stress situation. It's not easy!" We laughed harder, Edward joining a second later,  the three of us hysterical with a huge amount of relief to still be alive and probably just a little bit of shock. 

The three of us collapsed onto the floor, Ed and Al slumped against the wall and myself curled around my knees and hiding my face as the laughs and the trembling died out. I propped my chin up and exchanged looks with the two of them, small disbelieving smile on my face.  I...would probably freak out properly about this later, but for the moment I just thanked my lucky stars and whoever out there that was listening that we pulled it off. 

-o0o-

Lieutenant Colonel Roy Mustang sauntered forward, hands behind his back and his faithful subordinates by his side. Bald of the East Freedom Liberation Front Blue Squad and his cronies sat bound before him like the pathetic nuisances they were. Mustang stared with dispassionate black eyes, scanning the lot of them. Most were wounded in some manner, a couple bleeding freely with what looked like molten plastic holding their hands together. Alchemy, if he wasn’t mistaken, and gunshot wounds. A small tug of a grin pulled at his thin lips. Looked like his little gamble payed off. These would be terrorists wouldn’t be causing trouble in this country anymore. 

“Casualties,” Mustang intoned casually, glancing to the woman at his side. 

“None, sir,” Riza hawkeye responded, writing something on the clipboard in her hands. Mustang lifted a brow, impressed. He eyed some of the men bound before him and decided that that wouldn’t be a fair assessment for long if some of those wounds were allowed to bleed freely for much longer. He was just about to open his mouth to order the medical unit on standby to start cleanup when his attention was diverted. 

Bald was on nearly on him with an enraged scream before even Riza’s swift reflexes could react, somehow having escaped his bonds. The Lieutenant Colonel didn't flinch, smoothly bringing his gloved hand up and snapping his fingers casually.

A surge of flame burst forth from thin air in a violent explosion, causing everyone in close vicinity to throw their arms up to protect their faces. Bald was consumed in a flash of burning crimson agony as if his entire body had been doused with gasoline, and then fell to his knees as the flames were just as quickly dispersed, soundless exclamation holding his mouth wide open. The second the heat cleared, Mustang glanced to his side to see that Riza had responded almost as fast as he, handheld pointed unerringly at the severely burned man at their feet. Mustang smirked. 

The lieutenant colonel flicked some nonexistent dust off his pristine blue military uniform casually. "I controlled myself. The damage to your skin isn't nearly as bad as it feels, despite the agony you are no doubt in." He continued, infuriatingly smug. "You may call me Roy Mustang, or just Lieutenant Colonel. Hell you can call me the Flame Alchemist. Whatever you do, remember this pain."

Lieutenant Riza was rolling her eyes behind him as she stowed her gun way, he could just feel it. Roy preened.

"Hey," Edward Elric, the boy he had recruited over a year ago, ran in front of him, a furious expression on his face. His hands were fisted at his side and he hunched over, looking like a puppy that got kicked. Roy fancied he could even see a tail tucked between his legs under that obnoxious red coat he was wearing. "You knew these guys would be on that train! You put us at risk on purpose!"

"Now Ed, don't be so paranoid. I don't have the whole world on strings you know." Roy waved his hand in a flippant manner. "Besides, the general heard about your exploits and has decided to make an exception and let you take the State Alchemist Exam."

The kid looked stricken. "But you said we could always take the exam, that's why we're here!"

"Come on, did you really think the State would allow a kid to take the exam? But fortune smiles upon you." He leaned forward and lifted his eyebrows. "Good thing you got on that train, huh?"

Leaving Ed with a comical flabbergasted expression, Mustang walked away, Riza hot on his heals. "Sir," she said, "who was the third boy that was with them? I don't remember seeing him when we visited the Rockbell's. He looked just like Ed, but I'm pretty sure there are only two Elric brothers."

"Yeah, that's pretty strange all right," Roy said, glancing casually over his shoulder to see the boy for himself. Sure enough, another kid stood by the large suit of armor that he knew to be Alphonse Elric, looking at Edward as the boy seethed. The unknown young man’s eyes flicked intensely between Edward and Mustang, expression inscrutable. "How about that."

"Sir?"

"Did you see the crest on his jacket?" Mustang asked, turning his back on the scene and continuing forward.

"It looked like a hurricane, sir."

"Right," Mustang stuck his gloved hands in his pockets, intrigued. "That boy has been trained by Orkan." He grinned. This was getting interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mustang is a manipulative bastard. We all saw it coming. 
> 
> It always kind of vaguely baffled me that Edward and Alphonse’s first mission was so...goofy. I mean, I know they’d been through a lot, but as far as I know, this was their first real ‘mission’. Considering how they react later to violent situations (the Tuckers or Barry the Chopper) I just thought it was kind of strange how casually awesome they are in this scene, even when people are getting shot. So I guess this is my take on how it might actually go down, appropriate drama included. 
> 
> Tactical Shooting is a very fun and engaging class, and I highly recommend it. In the same breath I hope that I and my classmates never ever have to use those skills, and no matter how automatic the motions become, I seriously wonder if I even would be able to. One can only hope, I suppose. It does help out tremendously with my ability to orchestrate realistic fight scenes, however :)
> 
> Next Chapter: The boys are introduced to their new temporary home.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex struggles with his purpose, and memories he wanted to repress would no longer be ignored.

Victorian architecture lined every street in the large city. People bustled about shops and restaurants and between their jobs on foot or in early versions of automobiles that spewed exhaust into the air. The residents dressed nicely; there were no loudly talking women in shorts that exposed more than they covered or casually dressed men in t-shirts. Even people who were clearly less prosperous managed to wear jackets or overalls. Every once in awhile, as we traveled to Central Command, we would pass government looking buildings that sported white columns and decorated arches. The whole look and feel of the city reminded me strongly of pictures I had seen of Washington DC in the 1920's, back in my past life. Compared to the sprawl of Dublith where the atmosphere was much more casual, it was like everyone here was dressed for Sunday church every day and the buildings and architecture showed a rich history on every street corner. 

Scattered amongst the civilians were many men and women dressed in blue, usually walking with a purpose, going about their business. The closer we got to Central Command, the more blue uniformed soldiers I saw. They really weren't kidding when they called this a military state. I found it odd that no one really reacted to having clearly armed officers around them. If I still lived in my old world, having the military wandering amongst the civilians would have been somewhat of a cause for alarm. It was like walking by a group of marines on your way to lunch. I found the thought slightly oppressive.

Eventually we made it to our destination. Central command was…impressive to say the least. Looming white buildings towered over us in every direction. The area was completely leveled of any vegetation save for rows of trees lining the walkway, the rest of the ground covered in white limestone.

We were directed by the escort accompanying us past bustling hallways and impressive arches, and finally, we found ourselves seated in Mustang's Office, and were made to wait until he returned.

Al and I sat on a red couch, one of two in the large room. I sighed in relief to get off my aching feet. "Come on Ed, take a load off," I said calmly. Ed had taken to pacing back and forth nervously the longer we were made to wait. He grunted at me, but otherwise didn't respond. I glanced over at Al, who sat silently and stared at the floor.

"What's up with you guys?"

Ed growled. I looked to Al for clarification. "Those people had us dancing right in the palms of their hands. I guess no matter what we do, we'll never be the ones in control."

"You mean Mustang making us get on the early train." Al nodded forlornly. "I dunno, Al," I said optimistically, "It still worked out in our favor."

"Yeah, but for how long?" Ed snapped. "This Mustang Character really rubs me the wrong way."

"Gee, Ed, that hurts my feelings." Startled, Ed turned just as Mustang walked in the door. The Colonel shut it and strolled inside, sitting on the couch opposite Al and myself. He flung his arms arrogantly over the back of the couch and gave Ed a smirk. "And here I was, so happy to see you." Ed grunted, crossing his arms and looking away. Mustang chuckled at Ed's antics.

For the first time, I noticed just how good-looking the Colonel was. Amongst the Amestrians I had seen so far, he looked exotic with his black hair and eyes. Broad shoulders offset a wide chest that tapered into a slim waist, defined even underneath the thick wool of his uniform. Man, he filled it out nicely. And that  _ power  _ he had displayed at the station…I realized after a moment that Mustang had noticed my stare, and his eyes lingered on me just as intently, the room becoming uncomfortably silent. I blushed hotly and looked away. Mustang lifted a brow.

"Just what do you think you're looking at, bastard." Ed came to my rescue. I was really starting to like that kid.

"Ed, you never told me you had an older brother." Ed's teeth ground together in anger.

"Actually," I spoke up, sensing and explosion and swiftly side stepping it, despite my embarrassment, "I'm the second eldest. My name is Alexander Elric."

"Why didn't I see you when I came to Resmebool?"

"I hadn't lived there in a couple years, not since our mother died." I invented swiftly. Al twitched slightly beside me at the mention of Trisha's death. I winced internally. "I only went back when I heard what had happened."

"Hm," Mustang grunted. I couldn't tell if he believed my story or not. His black eyes were inscrutable. He let us sweat for a few more seconds before loudly changing the subject. "So, you boys think you're ready to take on the State Alchemist Exam?"

"You bet we are," Ed said, suddenly perking up. "Just tell me what to wear to graduation."

"Careful Ed," Mustang smirked, "wouldn't want you to get too cocky." He stood and sauntered over to a mahogany desk adjacent to us and lifted up a clipboard. He handed it to Ed. "In order to prepare for the exam, you have to find your own training. I suggest him."

Ed began flipping through the document on the clipboard. "Sewing-Life Alchemist," he read aloud.

"Shou Tucker. He practically wrote the book on bringing things to life."

**\---**

"I still don't trust him," Ed grouched a few hours later. We were on our way to the Tucker estate after our conversation with Mustang. It was later in the evening and there were less people wandering the sidewalks.

"Come on, Ed, he got you into the exam  _ and _ practically handed us our first lead on getting our bodies back!"

"Yeah, Brother. I really think he is trying to help us."

"Don't count on it lasting for long."

"God, Ed, you're so pessimistic." I ribbed him in the arm…then rubbed my elbow when it hit solid steel. Ed snorted.

"Whoa," Al exclaimed when the house we were searching for came in sight.

"Is this it," Ed breathed, eyes wide. The Tucker estate was huge, two stories at least and about the size of a small hotel. The outside was surrounded by a large yard of lush grass and shrubs. 

We walked into the yard and one of the bushes rustled. I tensed in surprise, but before any of us could react a huge white dog burst from the underbrush.

"Gah!" Ed screamed as he was promptly sat on by the large canine. It looked twice as large as him, and I would have been alarmed had I not noticed that rather than attacking, it seemed to be frantically licking Edward as if he were covered in peanut butter. I held back a smile and tried to help Ed move the large animal.

"Alexander," my head jerked up at the sound of my adopted name coming from an unfamiliar child's voice. A small girl had popped her head outside and was staring at us. "You know it's not nice to jump on people." I furrowed my brow in confusion, and then with a mental face smack I realized she wasn't talking to me. She was addressing the dog.

"I'm so sorry." A middle-aged man opened the door a little wider and smiled apologetically. "I should have tied him up when I heard we would be having company."

The child clapped and Alexander the dog shifted off of Ed and heeled in front of her. The little brown haired girl giggled in delight and hugged the large canine around the neck.

Tucker invited us inside. "I'm sorry about the mess," he said, hastily picking up a few books off the cluttered floor. "I'm afraid we lack a woman's touch. Oh, that was sexist of me. I've been quite a mess lately. You see, I had a wife, but she left me a couple years ago."

Tucker dithered about a bit more. He was a nervous fellow with sunken cheeks and eyes hidden behind round spectacles. Still, he seemed like a nice sort. "So, you're the Elric Brothers," he began. "Mustang told me a lot about you, but I must confess, I was not expecting such a strange collection of fellows." He was gazing at Al when he said this, and the boy laughed nervously.

"Daddy," the little girl from earlier spoke up. "Why is that man dressed in pots and pans? Isn't it heavy?"

"Heh," Al 'smiled', "don't worry, big brother is very strong."

"Hm." She hummed. She pointed at Al. "Big brother," her hand moved to me, "little brother," Edward, "littlest brother." She smiled beatifically.

Ed's jaw dropped, and he hunched over is if he had been hit in the head. "Wha–" Al and I covered our mouths. Oh my, that was a bit insensitive. Ed walked over to the wall and leaned against it with one hand, the other clutched over his heart like he had taken a mortal wound. "Littlest brother, she called me littlest brother, I'm older than them, dammit…" he mumbled to himself. I snorted. He  _ had _ taken a mortal wound: to his pride. Ed whipped around and gave me a furious glare.

Tucker cleared his throat. "So sorry of me, I have been rude. I believe introductions are in order. My name is Shou Tucker, Sewing-Life Alchemist." He gestured to the little girl who clung to his pant leg. "This is Nina, my daughter. Nina?"

"Nice to meet you!" Nina said with a big smile.

"Nice to meet you too, Nina," Al said. I could almost make out little hearts floating above his helmet. "My name is Alphonse Elric."

"I'm Al's  _ older _ brother, Edward Elric," Ed said a bit forcefully. I jabbed him in the ribs.

"And I'm Alexander Elric. Nice to meet you." Nina stared at me with one finger on her chin, the most adorable expression of concentration on her face.

"Alexander two!" She pointed dramatically at me with a serious expression.

It was my turn to jaw drop. Was she comparing me to her  _ dog _ ? Ed guffawed loudly behind me as I crouched down on the floor, a fog of depression hovering over my head. "Why am I number two to a dog…" I mumbled.

"Nina," Tucker said with the long-suffering tone of a father caring for a todler, "be nice. The Elrics will be staying with us for a while and I want you to be on your best behavior. Why don't you go and play in the courtyard for a little while."

"Yes Daddy." The little girl shuffled out of the room with a pout, reprimanded.

Tucker gave us a rueful smile. "Sorry about that, she can be a handful." He gestured for us to follow him. "Come along, I'm sure you boys want to get started. The alchemy exam is very intense, and you are going to need more than a midnight cramming session to pass it."

"Can we look at your research?" Ed asked, suddenly enthused. "We heard you created chimeras?"

"Yeah, and we heard you had a talking one!" Al chirped in. My eyes widened. Had I heard right? This man mixed animals together?

Tucker's expression suddenly got a little dark. "I'm afraid you are too late boys. It died shortly after it was created."

"Oh," Al said, a bit disappointed.

Tucker led us to a large set of double doors. He drew them open to reveal a huge library.

"Wooooah," Edward said, clearly impressed.

"Knowledge is our greatest tool as Alchemists. This is just a small collection compared to the Alchemy floor in Central Library."

With a laugh and an exuberant 'come on, Al' my two adopted brothers dove into the rows of books and began devouring information. I held back with a small smile. Tucker looked down at me, slightly confused. "What about you?"

"Oh no, I'm no alchemist. It seems that that particular gene passed me by." That was not strictly true, considering I had never tried Alchemy. And I never would. I promised Izumi. "I'm more of a fighter than a scientist. You could say I'm just here for moral support."

"Hm. Well I do have a small collection of tactical combat books. My wife used to enjoy reading about such things." He glanced at me with a somewhat hard to read look.

"No thanks," I said with a self-deprecating smile. "I'm not much for studying. Maybe I could help you out around the house? You know, in payment for letting me and my brothers stay here."

"Alright," he said with a slight smile. "Heaven knows this place needs it."

Weeks passed, and I hardly saw Ed and Al, save for mealtimes. I kept myself occupied as best I could during this time, despite my tension. I felt…frustrated by my lack of involvement, and finally faced with the exam looming in the future, I really began to wonder just what I thought I would be doing while Ed and Al worked as State Alchemists. Would I just be a burden, following them around as they went about their research and did whatever it was that state alchemists did? Would I even be able to stay with them once they passed, or would they be put in military barracks, leaving me behind to figure out what to do with myself? I just didn't know. None of us had planned beyond passing the exam, and Ed and Al were so consumed in their studying that we didn't get much time to talk. I still trained my body every day, but the inactivity was taking its toll. Nina was a balm for me during this time.

"Alex," her sweet voice asked. After a couple of times being called 'Alexander Two' I finally convinced the girl to call me by my nickname. "Can I play with your hair?" It was late afternoon at the Tucker Estate, about three weeks after we had arrived. We were lying in the grass in the garden, enjoying the warmth of the early winter sun, despite the cool bite in the air. I turned my head to smile at her, gazing through the grass blades. "Sure."

Nina and I would often spend our days together in this manner. She had also been lonely because her father would spend most of his time on his research, and had little time for her. Tucker had explained to me that in order to keep his State Certification, he had to pass an evaluation every year. It was because of that certification that he was able to live such a luxurious lifestyle. This assessment happened to be around the same time as the state alchemist exam, so both Nina and I spent many days together as our alchemists studied away the season. In this time we became very close, and I began to consider Nina as a little sister.

Time went by unnoticed as Nina carded gently through my hair with her delicate fingers. The movements soothed me, and reminded of my mother. My real mother. Melancholy swept through me as I thought of my home, and everything I had lost. The memories were fading. I could no longer remember just the way my mother laughed, or the feel of my lover's fine black hair… God, I missed them.

"What's wrong?" Nina asked, peering into my eyes, concerned. I realized with a jolt that my eyes had brimmed with tears as she braided my hair. I wiped them away and smiled forlornly. "You braiding my hair reminds me of my mother. We used to sit for hours in front of the mirror as she taught me how to braid it in different ways. I miss her."

Nina patted my face affectionately, and I held her small palm to my cheek. "There, there. Daddy says that when you miss someone a whole lot, they are thinking about you too, wherever they are. That way we are all connected, no matter how far apart we go."

My eyes widened a bit. "That's very wise of him."

"He says that when I get too sad about my mommy." She gave me a cheerful smile.

With a welling of emotion, I pulled Nina into my arms. "You are such a good girl." Children really were wonderful creatures. They could have such powerful insights into our hearts, and yet still remain innocent of all the evil of the world. Shaking out of my funk, I playfully ruffled Nina's hair and stood up.

"Come on. Let's go bug those studying knuckleheads. It's just about dinner time."

"Who are you calling a knucklehead," Ed asked, suddenly poking his head out the door.

"Who do you think," I shot back, a wide smile on my face.

"Hey!" Ed stepped fully outside and jabbed his finger at me. "Braids are my thing! You copycat!"

I flipped my braid that Nina had given me earlier over my shoulder. A couple flowers fell out and drifted to the ground. "You don't want me wearing a braid? You're going to have to fight me for it," I snarked.

"You're on!"

-o0o-

Fall came and went, and winter settled into Central in a soft blanket of snow. Ed and Al had finally taken a break from studying and Ed, Al, Nina and I were playing outside.

"I wish you could stay," Nina said as we all cooled down from a rather intense snowball fight. "I mean after you take the test. It gets lonely with just dad."

Ed furrowed his brow. I could tell that lately, the boys had been more cheerful staying at the Tucker Estate then normal. It was like having a home again. And just as I had, Ed and Al had created a special bond with Nina. We would all be sad when the time came to leave.

Ed sat up with a smile, inspired. "What are you drawing, little big brother," Nina asked, walking over curiously. "It's a transmutation circle," Ed said, swiping a stick over the ground with practiced ease. It was still amazing sometimes how he could draw a circle so perfectly like that. He drew as an experienced artist, with graceful arcs achieving something most could not. "When I draw this circle, it will help me make my wish come true." Ed pressed his gloved hands to the ground and a familiar blue light flashed in the yard. From the center of the circle grew a wreath of little yellow flowers, which Ed placed on Nina's head. She giggled in delight.

"Not bad Ed," a man complimented from behind us. We turned to see a familiar black haired and bespectacled figure strolling through the gate.

"Major Hughes," Ed said in surprise. "What brings you here?"

"I couldn't let you study through your birthday Ed. What kind of friend would that make me?"

Ed blinked in surprise. "He's right, Ed! That's today!" Al piped. This was news to me. It hadn't occurred to me to ask. Guiltily, I wondered if that made me a bad friend, like Hughes said.

"How did you know? I haven't told anyone about that yet."

Hughes grinned. "I'm in the investigations department. Wouldn't make much of a Major if I couldn't find that out. Come along now, I'm throwing you kids a party to celebrate!"

"Welcome everyone." The walk to Hughes' house was a short one. It was only a few blocks away. When we went inside, we were greeted by a woman with short brown hair, pretty green eyes and a warm smile. "I've heard so much about you."

"Kids, this is my beautiful wife Gracia."

"Your stomach's a melon!" Ed exclaimed. And indeed, Gracia was round with child, her pink dress hanging off her large abdomen.

"Yes, yes," Gracia said with a blush. "I'll be having a baby any day now. There is a huge fuss in my tummy telling me she wants to come out and see the world!" A slight pang of jealousy jabbed at my heart but I brushed it aside easily at her heartfelt happiness. This was a joyous occasion.

"Would you like to touch?", Gracia asked. Ed and Al immediately backed away. 

"Eeeh?" 

"Heck no." 

I laughed. Men.

"Can I?" Nina asked timidly. When Gracia nodded, the little girl gently patted the older woman's stomach with a sense of awe. "It moved," she giggled.

_ Large, warm hands timidly rubbed my stomach, as if afraid even the slightest touch would harm it. My love gazed into my eyes, wonder etched into his fine features. "I can feel her," he breathed, and he slowly leaned in for a kiss. _

"It feels funny." Violently I shook the memory away and returned to the present.

"Come on, Gracia has made a lovely dinner for us all." Hughes smiled, gesturing us inside. Right, it was Ed's birthday. We were there to celebrate.

The party was everything a thirteen year old could ask for. We played games and had a huge meal of the home cooked and comfort variety. Gracia had baked a cake decorated with pink and blue frosting and thirteen glowing candles graced the top. Ed seemed embarrassed by all the attention, but Al and I could tell he was secretly pleased. It had been a while since any of us had celebrated anything, and we all had a great time. There was no stress and no strife, if only for just a little while.

And then it all came crashing down.

"Ooooh!" Gracia exclaimed. She fell to the floor clutching her stomach, as if in pain. Alarmed, Hughes rushed to his wife's side.

"Gracia dear, what's wrong," he fretted, hands fluttering uselessly.

"She's coming," Gracia gasped, clutching her husband's jacket tightly. "The baby is coming!"

Jaws dropped and hearts stopped. "What do you mean she's here! The doctor said next week!" Hughes yelled.

"Well the baby says now, and I think  _ she _ gets to choose," Gracia grunted, sarcasm thick.

Al looked outside. "It's a blizzard out there! How are we going to get to the hospital?" His voice shook. "I'll just have to get the doctor myself!" Hughes jumped up and grabbed his coat. "You boys help Gracia," He commanded on his mad rush out the door.

"How do we do that?" Ed shouted in despair. He looked over at me, as if I knew the answer. I shrugged, my eyes wide. I had never delivered a baby before either!

"Alphonse, could you help me to the couch? Ed, get some hot water, and Alex, could you get me some sheets?"

"Right!" We all snapped to as Gracia began giving orders. Ed and Al bustled to do their appointed tasks, and I did as well, my heart pounding in trepidation. If the doctor didn't make it on time, we might be the ones delivering this baby!

We got Gracia settled into her couch and covered her with a blanket. I discreetly helped her remove her underclothes as the soon to be mother got as comfortable as she could.

"I brought the hot water!" Ed walked carefully into the room holding a round pan full of steaming liquid. "Is there anything else we can do for you Mrs. Hughes?"

"Thanks Ed. Well let's see, I guess I'll need a lot of fresh towels–Ooooh!" She groaned, clutching the sheets in pain. "Ooow!"

The wind howled heedlessly outside the window as we waited in panic and worry through Gracia's contractions. I held her hand through the pain and said words of encouragement. "It's going to be ok, Gracia, you're doing so well! She's going to come out just fine." I intoned, over and over again. Ed, Al, and Nina all stood in the corner, cowering in the face of what was happening.

"It hurts so much, oh I'm dying," Gracia moaned. She panted a couple more times and then seemed to pass out. Nina and Al screamed, but I quickly shushed them, brushing Gracia's drenched bangs out of her eyes. "Shush, she's just resting."

"What do we do, what do we do," Ed panicked, pacing back and forth frantically. He clapped his hands in front of his face forcefully, as if praying. "Damn it all, alchemy is the ultimate science and it can't do anything to help her."

"Edward," Nina said, sticking her hand into the water, "the water is cold."

Ed quickly bent over to grab the pan. And something amazing happened. As soon as he came into contact with the metal, the unmistakable flash of alchemy lit the room and the water instantly became piping hot.

"Agh!" Ed shouted in surprise.

"Ed," Al said in awe, "that was alchemy! How did you perform alchemy without a transmutation circle!"

"I dunno, I just used my head!"

Gracia screamed, interrupting them. "Aaaaaah I can feel its head!"

"AAAAAAAAA!" we screamed in panic.

"Move out of the way!" We all jumped aside as Hughes burst into the room, white haired doctor in tow. Gratefully we all stepped back.

It was over quickly after that. We stood in the hall waiting to hear the news. "It's funny," Al said as Edward paced, "Alchemists have been trying for hundreds of years to do what Mrs. Hughes is doing right now."

"Yeah, and our mother did it too. Can you believe it?"

"Yes," I said softly, "It truly is a miracle." Ed paused in his pacing and gave me a strange look. He opened his mouth to say something, but the doctor exiting the living room interrupted him. Blood speckled the front of his coat, but he had an elated expression on his face. "You kids can come in now. There is someone who wants to meet you."

With huge grins, Ed, Al and Nina rushed through the door. I followed slowly.

Gracia leaned heavily on the couch, slumped in exhaustion, but sporting one of the most serene expressions I had ever witnessed. Hughes stood behind her with the grin of a man on top of the world. Clutched in Gracia's arms was a tiny squawking baby. It's little face was red with indignation as it screamed its displeasure to the world. Nina and the young alchemists crowded around and Gracia held the babe up for all to see.

From where I stood a slight distance away I could make out every detail of it's face. Her hair was dark, sticking out in odd tufts. Her cries had died down to small hiccups and she opened her eyes for the first time, gazing around the room.

My heart stopped and I ceased breathing. Her eyes were green.

"What are you going to name her," Nina asked, poking her finger into the newborns small hand. It curled around her digit and she giggled.

"Hmm," Gracia considered. "I think I'll call her….Elicia."

Agony like I had not felt since the day I was ripped from my old life tore through me like bullet wound. I clutched at my chest as my face crumpled in grief, scars I thought had healed ripping open and bleeding out. She was going to call her green eyed baby girl Elicia. It was just too much.  _ I can't take this anymore, I can't– _

_ "Do you think it's going to be a girl?" The man I loved asked as we lounged on the porch, my head in his lap and his hand on my abdomen. _

_ "Definitely," I replied. "I dreamed it after all, so it must be true." He chuckled. _

_ "What should we name her?" _

_ "Hmm. I think I'll name her…Alyssa." _

Ed was smiling from ear to ear. He pumped his fist. "Awesome! Awesome, awesome, awesooooome!"

"Is that all you can say, brother? We just witnessed the miracle of birth and all you can say is awesome?"

"Well it is!" Ed turned his exuberant eyes to me. His face dropped in confusion and worry. "Alex…?"

My mind whirled and my vision blurred. I had to get out of here. Now! I spun on my heel and ran. "Alex!" Someone called out behind me, but I didn't stop. I slammed open the front door and plunged into the freezing night, the storm finally subsided. I didn't stop until I reached the Tucker house. Desperately, I pounded on the door until Tucker answered.

"Alex, what–" I brushed past Tucker and sprinted up the stairs. I entered my temporary room and collapsed on the bed. I sobbed.  _ I can't, I can't, it hurts too much, please make it stop– _ Images of my past life and what could have been flashed before my eyes, each one a new knife wound in my heart. I cringed in agony for hours until darkness finally took me.

-o0o-

Edward and Alphonse raced after their adopted brother as he pounded blindly through the snow. "Alex, wait!" Ed shouted, but the distraught boy didn't seem to hear him. They followed him to the Tucker Estate, the cold moon the only light to guide them.

They found Tucker standing at the open entranceway, gazing up the stairs in confusion. Ed skidded to a stop, panting to catch his breath, a white mist hovering in front of his face. Al clanked to a stop beside him. Wordlessly, Tucker pointed up the stairs, and the two brothers raced up them.

They came to Alex's room. Ed was just about to start pounding on it when a small sound stopped him. Heart racing, he gently pushed his ear against the cold wood of the door. His breath hitched and his pale gold eyes widened in horror.

"Al, he's crying!" Sure enough, over the sound of Ed's gasps of air a heartbreaking sobbing could be heard. Ed moved away from the door as if burned. "Why…" He looked over to his younger brother for answers.

Al stood absolutely still in the hall, the moonlight filtering through the window giving his smooth planes a soft glow. His eyes were downcast, and Ed could not even see the red spots that represented his soul.

"I've been wondering this for a while," Al said softly, "but do you remember what Pinako said about Alex?"

"Yeah," Ed responded just as quietly. "We stole a soul from another world to fill the void we accidentally created in your body."

"Who do you think that soul was, Ed?"

"I...I don't know. All Pinako would say was that he was…a woman…" Horrified realization spread over Ed's washed out features, pale in the night. "You don't think…"

"Yes." Al said, his voice weak. "I think Alex might have been a mother. Maybe even pregnant."

Ed looked stricken. The gold haired boy wordlessly leaned his head against Alex's door, his hands curled into fists beside his face. "We were just trying to bring mother back…but instead we ended up tearing another child's mother away. What have we done Al…"

"We have to make this right, Brother."

Ed clenched his fists tighter and turned around. When he looked up at his younger brother, his eyes were brimmed with unshed tears, but fierce with determination. "Right," he said. The only sound left in the cold night was the sobs that filtered through the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: The test, and something they didn't expect.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex falls ill and finds himself vulnerable to something he never expected.

The day after my meltdown, I woke to a depressingly cheerful dawn, the sun shining heedlessly of my feelings. I reluctantly got up and shuffled down the stairs to find Ed, Al and Nina all waiting for me in the dining room. They stared at me, and I uncomfortably shifted my weight. I knew I looked like a mess, my hair in disarray and no doubt deep shadows under my bloodshot eyes. Nina hopped down from her seat and rushed to me, throwing her small arms around my waist. "Where did you go, big brother? We were worried about you," she cried.

I sighed deeply and patted the fussing girl on the head. "I'm sorry Nina," my voice croaked. I cleared it. I sounded awful. "All the excitement made me feel a little ill and I had to leave. I'll get better in no time."

The young girl looked up at me skeptically, if a child so young could be skeptical. Seeming to brush it off, she gave me a bright smile. "Daddy says that when you get sick, you should eat soup. I'll make you some!" With that, Nina bustled out of the dining room and into the kitchen. Banging pots and pans could be heard, and I wondered vaguely if I should go in there and make sure she didn't get hurt, but I couldn't bring myself to move.

I looked over to Ed and Al, attempting to apologize to them as well, but my words stuck in my throat. Two sets of eyes, one gold and one red, stared at me intently, as if trying to break through the walls I had tried so desperately hard to keep impenetrable. "I…"

Al stood with a clank, rounded the table and stood in front of me. He loomed and I looked up into his menacing but somehow compassionate eyes, his large form casting a shadow on my face. Slowly, ever so slowly, he lifted his large leather hand, as if afraid I would be frightened. Gently, he brushed my blond bangs aside and placed his hand on my cheek. I closed my eyes as his emotions washed through me.

I felt worry, compassion and affection brush through my mind like a gentle breeze. "Alex…" Al whispered, distraught. I knew he could feel everything I felt, and I was a little grateful that he hadn't been in contact with me last night, or else he would have been all the more distressed. "I'm sorry," I said, attempting to pull away, but Al wouldn't let me. Protectiveness reached me through our link and I patted his armored arm affectionately.

"No," Ed suddenly spoke from his position at the table. His head was bowed, his bangs hiding his eyes. "We are sorry. We are the ones who did this to you. We will make it right, we–" His voice hitched and he clenched his fist on the table, the metal scraping it slightly through his glove.

"Ed..." Ed and Al seemed to be taking my upset really hard, even though I knew they didn't know the whole story. Maybe they didn't need to. I knew that they blamed themselves for what happened to me, but I guess I just wasn't ever expecting this level of protectiveness from them. I mean I was just a stranger, right? Sure we were friends, but in the end all I was was an obligation to them…but no. That wasn't right. Over the past few months, no, the past year and a half, we had become close. It was almost like…I smiled.

Abruptly I sighed, tired of all of this emotional crap. I stepped away from Al and ruffled Ed's hair roughly.

"Gah! Hey!" He exclaimed, trying futilely to whack my hand aside. He looked up from the table, disgruntled.

I snorted at his expression. "You know what? Soup sounds great." I turned on my heel and started to walk into the kitchen. I paused at the doorway. "And guys…Thanks. I couldn't have asked for better brothers." I left the two gaping–and in Ed's case, blushing–boys in my wake and went to join Nina, my countenance just a little brighter.

The season changed and Ed and Al dove into their studies with new determination. The exam loomed in the horizon, only days away, and I hardly ever saw them after that morning. Pressure was high, and failure just wasn't an option. We had just come too far. In those days, we felt that once Ed and Al became state alchemists, it was like this huge door would open up, and we would finally start our journey to restore all that we lost. 

But first, they had to pass.

Ed and Al weren't the only ones on edge. Our host had taken to shutting himself in his lab for hours without emerging. When he did join the rest of us, it was only to eat, and he spoke little during this time. We knew he was stressed, but he barely even spoke to Nina anymore and she was becoming very worried. Ed speculated that Tucker's research was not going well.

"He told us that he might lose his certification if he doesn't do well on his assessment," Ed said. "We just need to give him space." Maybe Ed was right, and Tucker would go back to his normal self once he passed his assessment. But still, I couldn't help but feel slightly unsettled. Sometimes, when Tucker's eyes would pass over me, I would feel a foreboding shiver run down my spine. Those weren't the eyes of the kind man who had taken us in. They looked…I really hoped Ed knew what he was talking about, because I was starting to get concerned for Tucker's mental health. All that stress couldn't be good for one man.

Finally, the day for the written exam, what Ed liked to call E-day, arrived and we traveled to Central Command. Tensions were high, and I tried my best to lighten the mood where I could, but was having little success. We arrived at the large steps that led the white building that Ed and Al would be tested in. "Guys, you can do this," I encouraged. "Yeah," Al said. Ed just grimaced. The boys walked in determinedly, and I sat on the marble steps to wait.

–

"Hey kid," a man's voice yelled. I cracked open my eyes. I had been sitting on the stairs for a good two hours, and I had thrown my head back and just let the early spring sun warm my face. A blond man in uniform, the one who had addressed me, strode towards me from across the marble courtyard. His hair was cropped short, and he had a cigarette clenched between his grinning teeth. Vaguely, I recognized him as one of the men we met when we spoke with Mustang, all those months ago. "You're one of the Elric's right? How have you been?"

"Meh, could be better, could be worse. You?"

"Good, good," the man waved past the formalities. "So, are your brothers in there taking the exam? I heard through the grapevine that they were taking the test this year."

"Yeah, those guys are pretty amazing." I gestured vaguely for the man to sit next to me, not bothering to move from my lazy position. He took a seat with a smile, a thin trail of smoke drifting in front of his eyes.

"What about you? Not into the alchemy thing?"

"Nope," I said, tilting my head back again. I had missed the sun, and maybe it was just because I hadn't been doing much, but the winter had felt really long. "I hate studying."

My companion snorted at that. "My name is Lieutenant Jean Havoc by the way. I believe we met a few months ago, but I can't remember your name."

I cracked an eye open to regard him. He looked amused. "Alex."

For the next several hours, Havoc and I chatted while I waited for Ed and Al to emerge. The sun drifted slowly across the horizon as we talked. I wondered why Havoc was sitting here with me while he was clearly at work. He only smirked. Some time later, he excused himself and left me on my own.

Eventually, the doors were thrown open and group of very tired looking people filtered out. I stood and stretched my aching limbs and went to find my brothers.

"Whoa, you guys look like zombies." Indeed, Ed and Al looked exhausted. Ed looked half dead and Al was slumped over, his arms hanging listlessly at his sides.

"What are zombies?" Ed asked, making a great impression of one.

"You know, zombies? When the dead –you know what, never mind." I quickly backtracked. Faux pas. "How did the test go?"

Ed slumped even further. "My arm feels like a noodle and I didn't finish." He whined.

"I got through it, but they said that there is going to be a physical exam. How am I supposed to get through that?" Al added, looking defeated.

"Awe, come on guys, it can't be all that bad." Slowly, we walked to an open patch of grass and sat down. Or, in the case of Ed, collapsed dramatically. "Some of that stuff I've never even heard of," Ed complained.

"Well, yeah, Havoc was telling me that most Alchemists have to study for decades before they even consider taking that test."

"Who's that?"

"One of Mustang's men. We met him when we first got to Central." Ed grunted, and we all fell silent.

"Ed, what am I going to do about the physical exam?" Al said forlornly.

"You could always put Alexander inside of you and pretend you're a talking dog." Ed said with a devious grin. Al whacked his brother in the gut, and Ed coughed dramatically. 

"I don't think that's very funny."

"So now what?", I asked, leaning back in the grass.

"Well," Al said, "now we wait. They have to look over everyone's exams, and then if we pass, there will be a demonstration tomorrow. From those, one or two alchemists will be selected to join the military."

"Greeeat," I groaned, flopping onto my back, "more waiting. Is this what I will be reduced to for the rest of my life? Following you guys around and waiting?"

"Of course not," Ed quipped. "There is a lot of traveling in this job. If you're a good boy, I'll let you carry my bags!"

"Why you!" I grabbed Ed in a headlock until he surrendered. We wrestled, releasing at least some of the tension we all felt, at least for a short while.

-

That night, we traveled back to the Tucker estate, elated that the first step of the exam was over. Havoc was nice enough to give us a ride back, and when asked to stay for dinner, refused, only exchanging a few words with Tucker before promising to be back in the morning. Ed and Al would have to report back to Central Command bright and early, and it was then that they would be told whether they passed. If so, they would be taking the demonstrative part of the exam that afternoon. Al still fretted, but I had a good feeling that somehow it would all turn out right.

We ate dinner in relative peace, with only one mishap when Alexander felt left out and Nina thought it was a great idea to let him eat at the table. After dinner, as we were all getting ready for bed, I exchanged goodnights with everyone and entered my room.

That's when the chills started.

At first, I thought nothing of it, believing I was only tired, but as I tossed and turned in my bed I began to worry. I lifted my hand weakly to my forehead and confirmed what my body was telling me. I had a fever.

"Shit."

-

The next morning at dawn, Edward Elric's eyes snapped open as soon as the early morning light touched his skin. Today was the day. This day he would learn whether or not he had the stuff to become a state alchemist and start on his journey to restore the lives he had destroyed. He sat up and stretched his muscles, immediately tensing back up as he felt tenfold the anxiety that he had been feeling for months.

"Brother?" Al walked into the room, coming back from whatever it was he had been doing while Edward slept.

"Today's the day Al. Are we ready for this?", he asked seriously.

"We have to be," Alphonse responded, just as grave. The two brothers quickly went through their morning routine, Ed showering and braiding his hair while Al tidied after his volatile brother and cleaned the room. Ed rushed through the maintenance of his automail, oiling the gears and making sure it was sealed, before hastily throwing on his clothes. He would probably regret not taking care of it properly if it rained later, as it was always painful when water got in between the joints, but he was just too excited to care. Today was the day!

Ed and Al, finished with their morning rituals, went to fetch Alex who was usually the latest in waking. "Yo, Alex," Ed knocked on the door with the back of his hand, "are you awake?" No answer. "Alex? I'm coming in."

Ed slowly pushed the door open. The inside of the room was shadowed still, as the curtains were drawn. He looked over the bed to see Alex haphazardly lying on top of the covers, the blanket discarded on the floor some feet away. Ed walked across the room and reached down to shake him awake. "Hey, Alex, are you still sleeping? Come on, Havoc will be here any minute…" Ed paused. "Al. Get in here."

Alphonse, who had been standing outside the door politely, walked into the shadowed room. "Brother?" He saw Edward standing over Alex's prone form. "What's wrong with Alex?", he asked, alarmed.

"He has a fever," Ed said gravely. He furrowed his brow and gently brushed the boy’s sweaty bangs aside. "Go get Tucker. We need to get him some medicine."

"Uh, right," Al said exiting the room swiftly, leaving Ed to take care of the sick boy. The suit of armor ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. Tucker was there, drinking a cup of coffee and staring blankly out into the sunrise. "Mr. Tucker, come quick! Alex is sick!" Tucker slowly turned his head, his glasses reflecting the light from the window and hiding his eyes.

"Sick? Oh my."

Alphonse and Tucker rushed up the stairs. "This isn't good." Tucker removed his hand from Alex's heated brow. "I'm afraid Alex won't be going anywhere today." He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking stressed.

The doorbell rang, buzzing obnoxiously through the house. Ed looked over his shoulder out the open door of Alex's bedroom. "That's probably Havoc. Ed, we have to go," Al fretted, worry thick in his voice. Ed nodded solemnly. This wasn't how he wanted it. Alex should  _ be _ there when they took the exam, he was just as much apart of this as they were. It wasn't right. But…

"Tucker, I know your assessment is tomorrow and you're busy, but could you please look after Alex today?"

Tucker sighed, and dropped the hand that was massaging his temple. "It's alright. I've almost prepared my lab for what I have in mind."

The door rang insistently. "Thanks, Tucker, we owe you one." Ed took one last look at their ill friend and he and Al hurriedly went to go greet Havoc.

Within the darkened room, Tucker tilted his head down and stared coldly at the still young man. The boy was sweating profusely, his breath shallow. Wordlessly, Shou Tucker turned away from the bed and left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him. The child wasn't going anywhere, after all. 

He had made sure of that.

–

"What do you mean, I have to drop out of the exam, I passed didn't' I?", Alphonse exclaimed. Shortly after they had arrived, Mustang had pulled them aside to talk. They stood in the shadow of a building, out of sight from the main entrance.

"Yes," Mustang said, his face cast in shadow, "your marks were outstanding, the both of you. However," he looked into the boy's eyes, expression serious, "if you want to keep your pasts a secret, you need to back out now."

"But I worked so hard! I will not be separated from my brother!" the boy protested hotly.

"And you won't have to be. Just because he gets certified doesn't mean we will lock him away."

"But–"

"Al, it’s ok," Edward interrupted his brother's fretting. "Remember what aunty Pinako said. State Alchemists have to work in service to the military. You have to go where they say, and do things you might not want to do, even hurt people for some greater good you don't understand. It means you are a dog of the military with a leash around your neck."

"But brother–"

Ed interrupted him quickly, his face turning serious. "One of us needs to join to get what we want but both of us don't have to. I'll become a state alchemist, and I swear, I will set things right. Only one of us needs to make this sacrifice."

"Brother…"

Mustang watched impassively from the shadows. "Come with me. It's time for the interview."

Edward patted his brother on the arm one last time before following Mustang into the light, walking into the imposing white building alone. He would bear this, because he had made a promise to the only family that he had left. Alphonse despairingly telling him that he couldn't remember the way Ed's touch felt, and Alex's desperate cries in the night; the boys who, despite Edward's heinous crimes, still smiled and supported him after all this time, flitted through Edward's mind. They were relying on him, and he would not fail.

-o0o-

I woke slowly, and shifted uncomfortably. My whole body felt hot, but there was a burning cold at my back. I felt the surface beneath me with my hand. Smooth, and ice cold to the touch.  _ Wha…how did I get on the floor? _ Hazily, I remembered falling ill…

I gasped. The exam! What time was it? I attempted to sit up, but fell back onto the hard floor, my body too weak to move much. I cracked open my eyes, trying to make out where I was. It was dark, and sound was muted, as if I had cotton stuck in my ears, but I could hear a dull scraping. Blearily, I could make out the ceiling. It looked like it was covered with…were those transmutation circles? I turned my head, and had to fight a wave of dizziness before I could open my eyes again.

"Nina," I croaked, voice sounding like dry sandpaper. Nina sat a few yards away from me, Alexander huddled to her side. But something was wrong… Her eyes were wide open, and she seemed to fold into herself, trying to make herself look as small as possible.

She was locked in a  _ cage.  _

Alarm swept through me and I tried to take in my surroundings through the dizziness. The room looked like a cellar with concrete walls. Every surface was covered in what appeared to be transmutation circles. My senses were coming back to me gradually, and I began to notice more. Movement to the side of me caught my eye. I peered into the dark recesses of a cage to my left, one of many I could see in the room. Slowly, a trembling creature came into the light.

My eyes widened in horror. The creature panted through a maw of razor sharp teeth, its breath a white mist in the frigid air. It was  _ grotesque. _ It looked like a cross between an alligator and a dog, its proportions awkward and unnatural. The creature lifted a contorted claw at me and made a violent swipe towards my body, causing me to flinch badly, but my limbs were frozen in lethargy. I couldn’t move!

"Chimera," I gasped in disgust. I peered into the other cages in my immediate range of vision and saw similarly perverted creatures, all howling in apparent agony and scraping their cages in a cacophony of pain. I shuddered violently in fear. When I had heard the theory of fusing two or more animals together, I was not expecting…this.

"Awake are you?", a cold voice echoed off the walls. Tucker…? I struggled to lift my head off the cold ground in order to see him. He sat at a desk on the far side of the room, a candle flickering beside him. He was turned in my direction, but I could not make out his expression.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice," Tucker spoke suddenly, his voice loud over the scraping of suffering creatures. He stood and moved to loom over my prone position on the floor. "I'm the  _ Sewing-Life _ Alchemist. Did you really think I wouldn't figure it out?"

"Tucker…what…" my voice trembled. "Where are we…why is Nina…?"

Tucker ignored me completely. He crouched down and I got a view of his eyes. They were wide open and staring at me, but they were empty, as if his soul was absent. I shivered in fear. He looked insane. "It's funny. I've always been underestimated in my life. People have always looked at me like I wasn't good enough. Like the State. Like my wife…"

"Tucker…please…" Suddenly, his face contorted in fury and he grabbed my bangs, lifting my upper body off the floor painfully. I cried out and Nina whimpered from her cage in fear.

"You think I'm worthless too, don't you! You thought I wouldn't figure it out, but I did! Edward and Alphonse's bodies and your strange alchemical signature–did you think I wouldn't recognize a transmuted creature if I saw one?! You boys did the taboo. You attempted human transmutation!" He shouted, his voice shaking with strain. My eyes widened in shock, and I struggled weakly to escape his painful grip. What did he mean by transmuted creature?

His face slackened back into a relaxed calm, freakishly transitioning from one extreme to another. "Hm. The drug I gave him must have worn off…" he mumbled to himself. He dropped me abruptly and walked back to his desk, rummaging. My head hit the floor with a dizzying crack.

My mind was reeling. Tucker had figured out what happened, somehow. But what he said about me…it couldn't be right. I gave off a strange alchemical signature? Ok, but I wasn't transmuted. I was pulled into Al's vacant body when his soul was taken to fuel the transmutation to bring back their mother…Pinako said so...right? Tucker seemed to think I was the subject of that transmutation…

"You're wrong," I croaked. "Ed and Al didn't create me. They were trying to bring back their mother…I was pulled into Alphonse's body…"

"Their mother, hm…It's actually quite simple then, what happened. You see, alchemy has three parts: Comprehension where you must understand the inherent structure and properties of the atomic or molecular makeup what you are transmuting, Deconstruction, where alchemists use energy to break down the identified material into a more easily molded state, and Reconstruction, where we continue the flow of energy, via transmutation circle, to create a new substance of equal value. That is what is printed in the books on alchemy, and that is what you will find in most cases. However, there is one other concept that is not oft written about, but is just as important. Soul's Directive." Tucker lifted an empty bottle up to the candlelight and cursed, before putting it back and continuing his rummaging.

"Soul's…Directive…?" My strength was slowly returning to me, and I struggled to sit up.

"Yes. You see," Tucker continued, speaking normally as if this was just another lecture over dinner, "Comprehension, Deconstruction, and Reconstruction aren't enough. You have to be able to visualize exactly what you are creating. My guess is, that when Edward and Alphonse attempted to bring their mother back, Alphonse lost his body and Edward lost his arm or leg. Edward, who was the only person remaining to drive the transmutation circle, witnessed his brother's body being consumed, and his Soul's Directive changed in that moment from wanting to bring his mother back to life to regaining his brother. Unconsciously or not, he changed the equation."

I gaped at Tucker, my arms trembling to hold my weight. This body was actually meant to be Trisha…? But…

_ "I went to their house to investigate, and what I found was absolute Hell. There was a huge transmutation circle on the floor of their basement and in its center…I can only surmise that they were trying to bring back their deceased mother, but what they created wasn't human. I buried the poor creature in the back yard." Pinako said, shuddering visibly. _

But…

_ My senses came back to me slowly, as if I was experiencing the slow reactions of a dream. I turned my face to the side in annoyance from the tickling raindrops and flinched when my cheek met grass. How the hell did I get outside? _

But…

_ "…I'm sorry, but I don't remember what happened that night either. I recall Brother and I putting our hands on the transmutation circle to complete the ritual, but I blacked out after that. The next thing I remember I am in this body and Brother is losing a lot of blood. So much blood…And that thing we created," Alphonse's voice began to tremble, "it wasn't even her…it was in pain and we created it! It was screaming–" _

This theory was crazy, but none of us had really talked about what had happened that night. No one could really remember what happened, save for Ed, and even he didn't know what to make of me...Could it be true? But if I was that thing they created, then why did I look like Alphonse three days later?

"What I don't get," Tucker said, suddenly sounding angry, "is how two  _ children _ managed to perform a perfect human transmutation! You should be a bloody contorted corpse, no more than a cadaver only able to live for a few short minutes. How did they do it!?" He slammed his hands on the desk, and I flinched badly. "I've been studying for decades, and two upstarts manage to do in one year what I haven't managed to do in forty!"

Tucker's position suddenly relaxed, and he turned to me slowly, clutching something in his hands. I gasped in fear, and struggled to move my unresponsive limbs. He was holding a handful of thin knives, their smooth metal glinting a wicked red in the candlelight. He stalked forward and I was powerless to stop him.

"Daddy no!" Nina, who had been silent up to this point, suddenly yelled out. Tucker paused in his stalk and glanced over at her dispassionately. "Niiina," Tucker intoned, and Nina flinched, tears streaming down her small face. "What did Daddy tell you about interrupting his work?"

"Please," she hiccupped bravely, "don't hurt big brother." Alexander growled menacingly, and Tucker frowned in annoyance. The insane man heaved back and brutally threw one of the daggers. I screamed, throwing out my arm uselessly. The dagger hit with a dull thud and Alexander yelped piteously before crumpling to the cage floor. Nina cried out in terror, before passing out behind him. My heart faltered in my chest and my breath hitched. I had thought he was aiming for  _ her. _ Thank god, thank  _ god…  _ I turned to the insane man in sudden and immutable fury.

Tucker sighed. "Damn, I guess I'm going to need another animal…perhaps one I've already transmuted…"

"You fucking bastard," I yelled, struggling desperately to get to my knees. "What are you going to do with Nina!"

Tucker turned his cold eyes to me, a grimace of distaste on demented features. "God, you are so noisy. You're just like my wife, always calling me names and yelling at me." He continued his stalk towards me and I froze in terror. He picked me up by the scruff of my neck as if I was a weak kitten and dragged me to an open space in the room. I watched the floor underneath me in horror as he dragged me to the center of an immense transmutation circle, painted onto the floor in a dark unknown substance I cringed to know the source of. I struggled with as much strength as I could, slowing him down slightly. Tucker cursed and threw my body to the center roughly. He straddled me and sat heavily on my abdomen, forcing me to stop moving and struggle to breathe.

"Don't worry, Alex," He said, inspecting one of the knives in his hand, "I won't do anything to Nina as long as you are a good boy. You see, I was going to transmute her and Alexander into a talking chimera, as I had done with my wife all those years ago to get my state certification. After all, why change something that works?" I gasped pathetically, crushed under his weight. 

"You..sick bastard…"

"But then  _ you _ came along," Tucker continued with relish, ignoring my comment. Or perhaps he could no longer hear me. "A perfect human transmutation, and I thought to myself, why not use a creature that has already been transmuted once to create my chimera?" He grabbed one of my wrists and held it to the floor. He lifted a knife above it, and I began hyperventilating, watching it glint in the red light. "After all, your soul has already survived one trip through the gate, why not another?" He plunged the knife straight through my hand and into the floor, impaling it in place. I screamed, convulsing violently and almost throwing Tucker off. He held me down through my convulsions until I fell limp, body going into shock.

"Relax, Alex, I just need you to stay still. I only penetrated the muscle in your hand, so there won't be any permanent damage. I can't turn in damaged goods after all." He got off me, and I curled around my impaled limb.

Tucker moved away from me as I trembled in agony, blood pooling beneath me on the floor. The last of the drug burned out of me in a violent wash of adrenaline, but I was now in too much pain to move. Receptors fired off in my mind to  _ escape, run, fight!, _ but all strength had left me. Shakily, I brought my other hand to try and remove the knife that so cruelly pinned me to the floor like some lab specimen, but I couldn't bring myself to touch it, unconsciously fearing more pain.

Tucker moved about the room, seemingly oblivious to my aguish. He paused in front of several cages, muttering to himself, before shaking his head and turning to another. Finally, he stopped in front of a medium sized cage and crouched down. He opened the bars and pulled out a squirming creature, hitting it hard over its head with the butt of a knife to still it. He brought the dazed creature to the center of the transmutation circle next to me, and held it to the floor. Deftly, he plunged the knife into the animal's shoulder, careful not to destroy any tendons. It screamed as he got off of it, it's cry an unnatural squealing. I looked past the knife in my hand to look at the creature that Shou intended to merge me with, and nearly threw up. It looked like a cross between a rat and a snake, it's writhing body convulsing over the pool of blood that grew around it.

Tucker crouched down near the edge of the transmutation circle. 

"Please…no…" Was this it? Was this how my story ended? I would be merged with some perverted creature to become this crazy man's meal ticket? This man, who had transmuted his own  _ wife _ just for  _ money and a shiny pocket watch _ ? 

"No…" 

tears ran down my face, only to drip down into the pool of blood soaking my clothes. Tucker's hands moved to touch the transmutation circle and I closed my eyes in defeat. All of the people I had ever loved flashed before my eyes:  _ My parents, my lover, little unborn Alyssa, Winry, Izumi, Orkan… Ed an Al…  _ It would all end here. I was a fool to have thought this story would ever have a happy ending. I braced myself for the pain that would be the rest of my short existence. Time seemed suspended as I waited for the guillotine to plunge.

"My, my, what do we have here," a voice simpered from behind Tucker, shattering the tension in the room. The chimeras, which had all been screaming up until this point, fell silent. My eyes snapped open.

Tucker spun around. "Who –" Tucker’s body jerked forcefully as he was pierced by long spikes of black. His blood splattered onto me and I watched with wide eyes as his body fell lifelessly to the floor. I stared in shock before slowly dragging my eyes up. 

A tall woman was revealed. She had long waving black hair and blood red lips. Her body was a perfect hourglass figure wreathed in black and on her chest rested a red mark; a dragon biting its tail. She turned her eyes to me, and my breath hitched. She was one of the most gorgeous beings I had ever laid eyes on.

"You poor dear," she said in a sultry tone. The spikes, which appeared to be distended fingers, retracted back into the woman's hand, pulling out of Tucker's corpse with a sick squelch. "I got here as soon as I realized that something wasn't right. Looks like I was right on time."

The woman sashayed over to me, and I cringed back in fear, no longer able to comprehend what was going on. She gently brushed her fingers over my forehead to my cheek in a sick imitation of affection, marking me with Tucker's blood. I trembled, unable to take my eyes off of her. "Sorry I didn't get here sooner, little one." She brushed her hand down my side, as if trying to comfort a scared animal.

Abruptly, she grabbed the knife impaling my hand to the floor and yanked it out with a violent twist. My mouth opened in a silent scream of agony and I jerked my injured hand to my chest. Finally free, I stumbled to my feet and backed against the wall, trying to press myself through it.

The mysterious woman stood and brought the knife to her lips, licking off a drop of crimson blood. She smiled at me coyly and pointed towards the open door. "Run." She said.

I did. I skirted around her, nearly tripping over Tucker’s body, and ran for my life.

-

Lust the Lascivious dropped the blood soaked knife on the floor in disgust. That was too close. If she hadn't come in when she did...

She looked around the room in distaste, taking in all of the cowering abominations around her. Viciously, she extended her fingers and killed them all, reveling in their dying throes. She checked in each cage to make sure she had gotten them all. She had, all except for one white dog, which had already been dead when she arrived. She turned and left the room, not seeing the small child lying unconscious behind her deceased companion.

Their interests were still intact, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha! Bet you didn't see that coming! Or maybe you did. Am I being predictable?
> 
> Next Chapter: Ed and Al return home triumphant, only to find a massacre, and an injured Alex runs into someone after his blood. Please let me know what you think, and thanks so much for the support! See you next time!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex isn't out of the woods yet. Once again, he draws the attention of someone dangerous.

Heart pounding, chest aching, I dove desperately out of the Tucker Estate and into the pouring rain of the late afternoon. My mind empty and my pupils blown wide, I became nothing more than an animal escaping a predator. I fled on trembling limbs, injured hand clutched to my chest and leaving a bloody trail in my wake.

I stumbled down empty streets, not paying any attention to where I was going. There was not a soul around to witness my flight, for the streets were cleared of people taking shelter of the deluge. The rain soaked my soiled clothes and washed the blood from my skin, but I did not feel it. The cold of the early spring air bit through my bones and froze my muscles, but I was already frozen. The only thing in my mind was a desperate need to _escape_ , a last ditch effort for freedom and to _live_.

I ran until I exhaled in heaving gasps of white mist and my lungs and limbs burned from the cold air, body pleading with me to stop. Still, I ran on until my legs gave out and I slumped against the wall of an alley. I trembled and jerked, but I had exhausted myself and could go no further. _He's after me, he's after me, he's coming for me–_

Over and over my mind replayed the horrifying images of what I had just experienced _blood, pain, terror,_ and I was no longer able to comprehend that Tucker was dead, and that he would no longer harm anyone else ever again. I stared up at the muted sky, heedless of the freezing rain that blurred my vision and made animalistic noises of fear and pain, far beyond the ability of coherent thought. I clutched my hand to my chest, and it throbbed and bled, further soiling my shirt.

In the filthy alley where I sat, a dark figure stood and walked towards me, a large shadow in my blurred vision. I shrieked and fell over, clawing at the ground, limbs no longer able to support me.

"Calm down," a deep man's voice said softly over the falling rain, "I'm not going to hurt you."

I looked up in surprise. It wasn't Tucker. It was a large man with broad features and a strong jaw, his body wide and muscled. Under a shock of white hair was a tanned face obscured with sunglasses. Even through my blurred vision, I could see a dark red, ropy scar that fell over his brow and cheeks in the shape of an X. He reached towards me with a large hand and I cringed with a small sound of distress. He paused, hand outstretched.

"What happened to you, little one?", he said in his deep voice, void of inflection. I shook my head wordlessly, still beyond the capability of speech. He grabbed my hand, disregarding my startled yelp, and inspected my wound. At his touch, a glowing red light lit up the ally, though I could not see its source. The scarred man pulled back in surprise, but did not let go of me.

"What are you?" He frowned deeply. "You poor creature. Alchemists did this to you, didn't they? Don't worry. I will relieve you of your pain." He brushed my soaked hair aside and gently placed his hand on my cheek, like the touch of a lover. Comforted by his soft voice and touch, I relaxed slightly and tears fell down my face, mixing with the rain. I closed my eyes.

-o0o-

"Hehehe," Edward giggled to himself again. Ahem. Laughed in a manly way. A huge grin plastered his fair features from ear to ear. Edward and Alphonse were walking back to the Tucker Estate after the exam ceremonies were completed.

"Ed, you're doing it again," Alphonse sighed, clanking along beside his exuberant brother. Still, happiness like he had not felt in a long time reverberated in his soul, and if he had a body, his heart would have been racing in excitement.

"I can't help it Al! I'm just so awesome!" The exuberant young man pulled a gleaming silver pocket watch out of his red coat and began spinning it arrogantly, its smooth metal glowing softly in the overcast sky.

He had done it: he had passed the exam!

After he walked into the building, he was escorted to a dark room. There were several people there, sitting behind a long table and in the center of the room had been a chair. He had had to give his reasoning for wanting to become a state alchemist. It was pretty intimidating, and he found out later that the man interviewing him had actually been the Fuhrer himself! But somehow, he had pulled it off.

The demonstration had been where he had really impressed everyone. There had been several other alchemists there, and they were given raw materials of wood, ice, water and earth to work with. At first, Edward had been nervous. How was he supposed to impress them? The first alchemist created a huge tower, a graceful beam that shot up into the sky. The second had taken a couple of trees and a splash of water to create a hydrogen blimp. Ed was about to step forward himself, not entirely certain what he would do, when the blimp ran into the tower with a resounding bang, knocking over a part of the architecture. The man who had created the tower was still under it, unable to move after his exhausting transmutation. He screamed in terror.

In an amazing feat, one even Ed had not known he was capable of, the young man snapped his hands together in resounding clap and transmuted the materials into the first thing his mind could conjure–a giant crown of flowers, just like the ones he had made for Nina. Somehow, he had done something he had only ever seen his teacher do. He had performed alchemy without a transmutation circle.

Later, he found out that the Fuhrer had chosen him on the spot, and the most important man in the country handed him his pocket watch himself with a congratulations and a bracing pat on the shoulder. The next day, Edward would be reporting to Central Command to receive his official rank and alchemist's title.

Excitement bubbled up in the young alchemist's chest and he laughed at the sky. "I. Am. Awesome!"

"Yeah, yeah," his brother ribbed. "Good job, brother."

The sky rumbled ominously and Edward's smile dropped a little as the scars underneath his automail ports gave a sharp throb with the change of pressure. He rubbed his shoulder irritably. "I can't wait to start research. This automail is killing me."

"At least you can feel pain…" Alphonse mumbled to himself.

"Al…"

"We just have to work really hard. Today we've completed our first step," Al continued, seeming to perk up. After all, it was a time for celebration.

"Yeah." Ed said, his smile returning. "Oh, damn." A light mist started up and Ed clutched his arm a little tighter. He just _knew_ he was going to regret not taking care of his automail properly that morning. Now water was going to get in his gears and make his ports ache. He hated rain!

"Come on, Al, let's get back. We have to tell Alex and Nina the news!"

"Yeah!" The boys began running as the rain became heavier, everyone else on the streets doing the same.

By the time they got to the Tucker Estate, it was pouring. The boys rushed inside the dark entranceway and Ed shook out his long hair, squinting in the low light.

"Where is everybody?", Al asked. Ed looked around. Indeed, the house was dark and silent, no sign of any movement at all.

"Alex? Nina?" Ed shouted, "Is anyone home?" Ed's voice echoed off the walls. There was no response. A nauseating feeling began to lick at the back of Edward’s throat and he exchanged a nervous glance with Alphonse, swallowing thickly. Something didn’t feel right. Alphonse began lightly shuddering beside him, and suddenly the feeling was all too familiar. Lights off, no movement….

It felt just like when they found their mother.

Cautiously, Edward flicked on the hall light. Al gasped in horror.

There was blood _everywhere,_ painted on the walls and dripped on the floor, as if someone had been stumbling around injured. The boys looked at each other before rushing to follow the trail of blood. Ed's heart pounded in his ears as adrenaline washed through him in a powerful wave. "Alex! Nina!" No, no, no, not again!

The boys came to a halt in front of two large doors, the trail of blood ending in a bloody smear beneath their frames. It was the entrance to Tucker’s lab. Edward could feel panic clawing at his lungs, nightmares coming to life and memories rearing their ugly heads. Please, _please_ don’t be what he thought this was...Alphonse was trembling so badly now that his armor clanked audibly over Edward’s pounding heart. With a shaking hand, Alphonse slowly opened the door. Al gasped and Ed's breath hitched.

Inside was…Hell. There was no other word to describe it. Cages littered the sides of the room, dark liquid pooling out of each one on the floor. Transmutation circles of unknown purpose painted every surface and Alphonse could barely bare to look at them straight on.

And in the center was a large transmutation circle, and ominous stain in the middle.

Ed's eyes widened and he began to tremble as images of _that night_ flashed through his mind. The stench of decay and death reached his nose and nausea pooled in his throat.

"B-brother…" Al whispered, his armor clanking in shivers, "this looks like…"

"Human transmutation…" Ed said in horror. He rushed inside, frantically searching for…for…

"Alex, Nina, Tucker!" Ed shuddered to a halt. He collapsed on his knees beside the body of Shou Tucker. "What–" Shou's body was pierced through violently and his eyes were open wide in an expression of surprise. Ed lifted his hand, but could not bring himself to touch the clearly dead man.

"Ed, get over here now!" Al shouted from the other side of the room. Ed's head snapped around to see Alphonse crouching beside a cage. Edward rushed over, desperately hoping beyond hope–

Nina sat inside, clutching the white corpse of Alexander in an ominous black pool. Cloudy blue eyes wide open with tears streaming down, it didn't look like she could see them. There was just something so inherently wrong, so _horrible_ about seeing her like this–trapped, distraught, covered in her best friend's blood–that it pained Edward physically and made his blood run cold with fear.

"Nina…?" Ed whispered in a halting voice. Nina flinched and turned her eyes slowly.

"Ed..ward..Al..phonse…" she gasped. Alphonse immediately opened the cage and the little girl rushed into his arms, crying hysterically. Her tiny hands, stained with blood, painted the front of Al's armor in crimson.

"Shhh, Nina, what happened?", Al whispered gently, trying his best to keep it together for her sake, even though he felt overwhelmed himself.

"Da…ddy…he hurt…Alex…and Alex..ander…he won't move….why won't he move!?" The girl sobbed, pressing herself into Al.

Ed leaned forward in alarm. "Nina, _what did Tucker do to Alex?"_

"Hurt…hurt…Alex gone…left me here by myself! He left me…"

"Ed, you have to find him," Al said urgently.

"R-right!" Ed jumped up on trembling legs and ran forward, shouting over his shoulder, "Take care of Nina and call for help!"

Al gently stood up with Nina in his arms and walked slowly to the door.

"Da…ddy…where's Daddy…he hurt Alex…"

"Shhh, it's going to be okay." Al whispered to the distraught child, shielding her view of her father's corpse. He walked past the carnage and out of the room, closing the door and leaving the dead behind them.

–

Ed followed the crimson splashes into the hall and out the door into the freezing rain. There was so much blood, and he had no idea how much Alex was injured, or even if he was still alive.

_Please, no, not Alex, how did this happen, please god no–_

Terror raged through him as he followed the trail of blood being washed away by the rain. He scanned it frantically, the traces getting harder and harder to see by the minute. All he could think about was Alex's smiling face and cheerful jokes being gone forever.

_How did I let this happen, this is my fault, my fault, my fault –_

Alex laughing, Alex crying, Alex patting him on the shoulder, _Don't worry, Ed, you can do this,_ how could that be taken away? The stranger who became his friend, someone so dear to him was hurt and bleeding, maybe even dying, _he should have been there!_

"NO," he shouted desperately as he finally lost the trail. Ed looked around frantically in the rain soaked streets, looking for some sign of his friend.

_Alex paused in the doorway to the kitchen. "Thanks guys, I couldn't have asked for better brothers."_

Ed tore down the street blindly, looking down every alley, the visibility frustratingly low because of the rain. There! A flash of fabric, heartbreakingly familiar. Alex's green coat, stained with dark red, could be seen in an alley across the street. Ed's heart jumped painfully in relief, then abject terror as he took in the boy’s limp form.

Alex was lying on the ground. Still. Defenseless. And there was no way to tell how injured. But worse than that, a large man crouched over him threateningly, gripping Alex’s hand that could be seen dripping a steady stream of blood down his limp arm, even from a distance. The man had a hand on Alex's still face.

Rage like he had never felt before ripped through Ed's body and he saw _red._ He screamed at the top of his lungs. "Get away from my brother!"

Edward snapped his hands together, forcing more power into it than he even thought possible _–get away from him, don’t you dare TOUCH him!–_ and slammed them into the ground with bone jarring force. Blinding blue light flashed as the street contorted and liquified, spitting out cement spikes at the man who was assaulting Alex's limp form.

The scarred man tensed and jumped back, deftly dodging the projectiles. He landed a good distance away and Ed rushed forward to stand over Alex protectively, nearly growling out loud. If he made so much as a twitch, Edward would _tear him apart._

"Alex," Ed shouted, not daring to take his eyes off his opponent. "Alex, answer me, dammit!" There was no response, and Ed risked a glance at his fallen companion and bared his teeth at what he saw.

Alex's clothes were drenched in blood and freezing water, his face pale as death. He lay recumbent on the ground, his wet blond hair falling over closed eyes. There was no telling how much blood he had lost. Ed lifted his eyes back to his opponent swiftly. He needed this guy gone _now!_

The man stood at an imposing height, towering over the younger man even from a distance. Ed held his hands up threateningly, ready to clap at a moment's notice, but he remained calm, relaxed, as if Edward were no more threatening than a fruit fly. "That creature," he said in a deep timbre devoid of all inflection. Shivers ran up and down Edward’s spine as he bristled. "Did you make it?"

"He's not a creature!" Ed shouted, enraged, "He's my little brother! You stay away from him!"

Ed's heart pounded in his chest as he waited for the man to either attack or leave. The man stared impassively before slowly turning around and beginning to walk away. "My quarrel is not with you. I'm only interested in state alchemists. But I must warn you: if we meet again, we will be enemies. That creature is an abomination against God, and you will be punished." With that, he left, broad figure disappearing into the mist.

Ed did not waste time pondering the man's words. As soon as he was out of sight, the boy spun around and hastily checked Alex's pulse, hands shaking on Alex's neck. He huffed and gave a small sob of relief. He was still alive. Ed checked over his body with his trembling hands, trying to find the source of all the blood. It was concentrated at his chest and back, but when he took off Alex's shirt there was no wound. After a minute of frantic searching, Ed spotted Alex's injured hand. He grimaced at the hole that was leaking blood. Taking off his jacket and discarding it on the ground, Edward transmuted his undershirt into bandages and immediately wrapped the gash. It wasn't life threatening, but if he didn't get Alex out of this rain, the cold and lack of blood would kill him.

"Ed…" a weak voice caused Edward to snap his head up. Alex was looking up at him with half open eyes, the usual emerald green a murky shadow.

"Alex! Can you hear me? I'm going to get you out of this rain! Can you stand?" Ed said urgently.

"Ed…" Alex whispered.

"Don't try to speak.I'm going to get you out of here." Pulling Alex into a sitting position, he tried to lift him, but the boy suddenly grabbed him with his good hand and clutched onto Ed desperately, pressing his face into Ed's bare chest.

"Ed…I was so scared…so…" Alex broke down into sobs. Eyes softening, Ed gently put his red coat around Alex's shoulder and pulled him close. The boy shivered and heaved as he let out the terror and pain he had experienced now that he finally felt safe. They sat still for several moments as the rain calmed down to a drizzle, and Ed tried his best to comfort the distraught boy, and allowed his own heartbeat to slow. He had found Alex, his life wasn't in immediate danger, and he let just a little bit of tension go. This reminded him strongly of times when he had comforted Al in the same manner when they were younger, and just like back then, it was cathartic to both of them.

"I know, it's ok now. You're safe." Ed said after a while. "I'm here now. I'll protect you."

"Idiot…" Alex sniffed, pulling back a little, and looking up into Edward's eyes, just a little clearer. "What could a runt like you do…" he said with a sad imitation of his usual smile.

"Wha-" Ed spluttered in mock anger, although he was smiling, "I come all this way to rescue your ass and that's all you have to say?"

Alex snorted softly and leaned back into him. "Ed…thanks…"

Ed sighed and ruffled the shivering boy's hair. "Geez, what am I going to do with you." He stood, lifting Alex with him.

A man abruptly rounded the corner and slid to a halt, startling Edward so badly that he pushed Alex behind him and very near snarled at the intruder.

"Ed, Alex!" Havoc exclaimed, paying no heed to Edward’s aggression. He quickly turned and shouted over his shoulder. "Hey, they're over here!" He turned back around and rushed forward to help Ed hold Alex up, suspending him between them.

"Ed…I'm tired..." Alex whispered.

Ed smiled faintly. "It's okay. You can sleep now." Alex nodded and closed his eyes, going completely limp between the two supporting him.

–

Edward hunched over under the blanket he had been given and stared idly at his arm. It gave a dull throb, long past the state of waterlogged, but he ignored it in favor of his thoughts.

After Havoc showed up, Alex promptly passed out in exhaustion. They were quickly swarmed with blue uniforms as the rest of the help Alphonse had contacted arrived at the scene. Alex was taken from Ed's arms and rushed to the hospital, Edward barely willing to let him out of his sight. He tried to follow, but Havoc stopped him with a stern look.

"Not just yet Ed. Mustang is on his way and he needs to talk to you. Don't worry, they'll take care of him." Edward begrudgingly acquiesced and was handed a blue military jacket and a blanket, which he slipped over his bare shoulders. He sat sullenly on the wet concrete sidewalk and waited for Mustang to arrive.

It didn't take long. A black car pulled around the corner and stopped in the area the military had quarantined off on the street. Mustang, Hughes and Alphonse all piled out and strode over to the sitting boy. Ed jumped to his feet, turning his attention immediately to his younger brother.

"Al, are you ok? Where's Nina?"

Before Alphonse could respond, Mustang interjected. "Nina is in military custody at the moment." Ed's eyes swung into the dark haired man's direction, but he continued before the boy could say anything. "Now that I have you both here, tell me. What the hell happened back there?"

The two brothers glanced at each other. "When we arrived around late afternoon," Al started, voice concerningly clipped. Edward frowned at him in concern, but didn’t interrupt. "We discovered the hallway covered in blood. We followed it into Tucker's lab and found Nina. Tucker was already dead."

"Yeah, we saw the lab," Hughes spoke up. "I have my investigations team working on it right now. We should have a clearer picture of what happened tomorrow."

"And then?", Mustang pressed.

"Nina told us…" Ed started haltingly, "Nina told us that Tucker 'hurt' Alex. I left Al to take care of Nina and call for backup and went to search for him. When I found him, he was unconscious and a man with a huge scar on his face was kneeling over him. I scared him off and wrapped Alex's wounds. That's when Havoc arrived."

"A man with a huge scar on his face?" Mustang and Hughes exchanged serious glances. Mustang put a heavy hand on Ed's shoulder. "We'll take it from here boys." He turned dismissively and headed back to his car, brow creased in thought.

"Mustang," Ed said suddenly. Mustang halted and looked back over his shoulder. "That circle on the floor. It looked like Tucker was trying perform human transmutation."

Mustang regarded Ed over his shoulder with his black eyes before turning around and getting into his car.

Hughes watched Mustang leave with a frown before turning back to the boys and patting both on the shoulder. "Don't worry guys, I have Gracia taking care of Nina at the moment. I'll do my best to help her."

"What's going to happen to her?"

Hughes looked away, expression serious. "I don't know just yet. As of right now, she is a ward of the State until we can find a close relative to take her in."

Ed and Al looked down, accepting this for now. "Can we see her?" Al asked.

"…I don't think that's a good idea just yet. She needs to calm down a bit before she can handle company. She just witnessed something traumatic. Give her some time. I promise to let you know when you can see her."

"Oh…"

"I don't get it," Ed spoke up, brow furrowed. "Why would Tucker try to perform human transmutation? I thought he was trying to make –" Ed's eyes widened and he stopped, his mouth falling open in shock.

"Brother?"

"A talking chimera…" Ed whispered. "Hughes," Ed said urgently. "When did Tucker's wife leave?" Al made a small noise of alarm.

Hughes frowned deeply. "Shit." Without another word he spun on his heel and strode to a car, barking orders to Havoc and the surrounding officers. "Havoc, get the Elric brothers back to base. You three, come with me." The soldiers snapped a salute and the three indicated followed Hughes into the black car and it peeled out, leaving Havoc and the two boys alone.

"Well boys, let's get you back to base." Havoc said, turning. He paused. Edward and Alphonse were staring deeply into each other's eyes, communicating silently. Edward's expression ranged from fear, worry, relief, and back to worry again. Alphonse seemed impassive, but Havoc could almost imagine he could see the same expressions. Ed slowly placed his hand on Alphonse's armor over the bloodstains still visible on the smooth metal and Al clutched it. Both nodded and as one turned to the last remaining car.

As Havoc drove through the sodden streets, he glanced back at the boys a couple of times, but they silently stared out the windows of the car, the only connection between them Ed's hand, which rested lightly on Alphonse's shoulder plate.

–

Alphonse sat beside Edward impassively in the sterile white room. Havoc, at their insistence, had taken them straight to the hospital to see Alex. He left after extracting a promise that the boys would be ready to leave in the morning. Edward had agreed, but neither brother had any intention to leave until their companion finally opened his eyes.

The boy lay silently on the hospital bed, almost as pale as the sheets that surrounded him. The only sound was the heart moniter and his shallow breathing that ghosted in the oxygen mask attached to his face. He had not moved since they arrived, but he doctor said he was only resting. An IV dripped softly beside his bed, the needle disappearing under a white bandage on Alex's arm.

"You should get some sleep, brother," Al said quietly over the beeping of the monitor. Ed grunted in denial, his eyes never leaving Alex's still form. Al sighed and looked out the window into the dark night. The brothers had filled in the gaps of what happened for each other.

Alphonse had called for help the moment he shut the door to the lab behind him and waited anxiously. Nina had cried herself to sleep in his arms, and he held her until a soldier took her, promising to take her to the hospital. Al was understandably reluctant to let go, but his common sense had overridden his worry. She would be fine, at least physically. Emotionally…that was another story. If she felt anything like what Alphonse and Edward had felt…and she was so much younger than even they had been. Al could only hope that someday, Nina would forgive them for leaving her alone. It hadn't been their fault, but Al could not help but feel guilt. They should have seen it coming. He knew that that was impossible, he _knew_ that, but guilt was hardly ever rational. He knew Ed felt the same.

Alex as well…they hadn't been there when he needed them the most. He was always so strong and confident in himself that Alphonse sometimes forgot that he needed support just as much as he and his brother did. He looked so weak and small on the hospital bed, and it hurt Al to see him that way.

He knew his brother, and he liked to think that he was getting to know Alex just as well. Despite coming in under horrific circumstances, Al was at least a little glad that Alex had been a result.

Alphonse shook his head at himself, the armor of his helmet clanking slightly. Selfish.

"Al?", Ed asked, looking over to his brother.

"…When did Alex become so important to us?", Al asked quietly. "We almost lost him today, and I felt as if my heart was going to stop." It was true. Even as he clutched little Nina to his chest, he had felt a phantom pain where his heart should have been because Alex was still missing, and he had no idea whether he was still alive. He had been sharing his emotions and experiences with the boy ever since _that_ day, and while sometimes it could be detrimental, it had made the two boys irrevocably close. It wasn't just the fact that Al would have lost his body forever if Alex had died, or even the guilt about pulling Alex into this world in the first place. He would have been devastated if Alex himself had disappeared forever.

"I don't know," Ed said, looking back at their still companion, "but I feel the same. Somehow, when we weren't paying attention, he wormed his way into our regard."

"Even though he's growing taller than you," Al joked.

"Hey!" Ed exclaimed with a petulant frown. "Why even is that anyway? He's supposed to be younger than me!" Al chuckled, and the two boys sat together in companionable silence. Alex would be ok, and so would they. Edward and Alphonse would pull through together, just as they always had, and Alex would be right along with them.

Ed suddenly let out a huge yawn and rubbed his eyes. "Brother, you should get some sleep. I'll watch over him."

Ed stuck out his lower lip in a pout, something he only indulged in around Alphonse. "…Fine. But tell me as soon as he wakes up!"

If Al could roll his eyes, he would have. As it was, he turned his face to the ceiling in exasperation. "Come on, Brother, you know I will."

Ed glared suspiciously before shrugging. He pulled his chair up against Al's and leaned back onto him, folding his arms over his chest and closing his eyes. In that moment, Al felt as if he could almost feel what Ed was feeling, and he felt comforted by his closeness. Alphonse turned back to Alex's bed and sat in a silent vigil until morning as his brother snored softly beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, now everyone is on the same page, both in what happened (Ed figured it out, the little genius), and how they feel towards each other. Feels. I hope you are all covered in fluff right now. The thing I love the most about FMA is just how wonderful the relationship develops between Edward and Alphonse. Bro love aaawww. 
> 
> Man, I forgot how dark this story is. It won't all be bad times and depression, I promise. There's plenty of fluff and adventure as well!
> 
> Not much from Alex this chapter, but I thought it was about time I gave Ed and Al a little love, since they are just as important to the story as Alex is. Next Chapter: Alex wakes, and the boys head off on their first mission.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex Wakes and the boys finally move on from Central.

The bench I sat on vibrated, hard wood beneath me uncomfortable as the train traveled across the countryside. It was early in evening, the sun casting an orange glow on everything its waning light touched, giving the nostalgic feeling of another day passed. I looked out the window at the passing farmland, head resting on my hand against the window, the other wrapped tightly in bandages and set in a sling over my chest. At every shiver the train made the wrapped limb ached, making the clutching misery in my lungs just a little more unbearable.

Alphonse sat across from myself and Edward, all of us silent in the otherwise empty train car. "It's like we have our very own private car," Al said, trying to break the awkward silence. I had not spoken much during the journey to the station, and Ed was equally silent beside me. It appeared that he was looking internally, seriously contemplating something. I was just sulking. Still, Alphonse gave a valiant effort to drag us into conversation. "You know, I like traveling by train. It's fun to watch the countryside fly by–"

"Al," Ed interrupted his younger brother as if he had never spoken. "I have to do this now that the state has me collard, but you don't have to be here. Neither of you," he said, glancing in my direction as well. 

He referred to his first mission issued to him by Mustang. He was to go inspect a mine in the small town of Youswell, the last town to the East. Apparently, that was a normal task for state alchemists, since they all by principle had intimate knowledge of minerals. It was no big task for one such as Edward, and he said that Mustang had given it to him as an easy first mission to start out with as the newly dubbed 'Fullmetal Alchemist'. He wore the title with irony and a tight smile.

"We're brothers," Al responded immediately, "If we don't help each other, no one will. Those were your words, remember?"

Edward hesitated, then smiled. "Right." He looked over to me, but I avoided his eyes. His small smile drooped noticeably, but he did not say anything further.

My relationship with the brothers had been a bit…awkward since I woke up after Tucker had attacked me. It wasn't as if I was purposely trying to avoid them, it was just…

–

I woke in the hospital two days after the Tucker Incident, as I labeled it in my head. 

Terrible dreams of running through the dark, the terror of being chased, haunted my unconsciousness. Grotesque animals snapped at my feet and growled warnings as I ran past, but no matter how hard I tried, I ran as if dragging chains shackled my feet to the ground. Time ceased to matter, and the alleys just got longer and longer until I believed I would never escape the clawing darkness. Just as I rounded a corner, I was stopped by a menacing figure that loomed before me shrouded in shadow. Tucker moved into the light, body larger and more imposing than it had ever been in real life. But it was blurred, formless. I could only see his soulless pinprick pupils, staring at me as he would an interesting experiment, I no longer even a human in his eyes. But I wasn’t, was I? That’s what he told me. 

It was only when my panic reached its peak, when he reached for me, that I sat up with a scream.

"Whoa, kid, calm down, you're safe," a man's voice soothed. I breathed harshly as my eyes blurred into focus. The room shined painfully white to my sleep sensitive eyes, and monitors beeped annoyingly in my ears. I jerked on reflex, panicking when something restrained my wrist. I looked down sharply. A wrapping of gauze around my elbow and a long trailing tube attached me to an IV that dripped slowly at my bedside. I tried to yank it out, only to find my other hand completely immobile, wrapped thickly in bandages and strapped to my chest. A strong hand landed on my shoulder gently and I flinched. Blue eyes looked back calmly from a familiar face and my heart slowed, enough for the clawing panic to recede. 

"Havoc…?"

He grinned, though it barely seemed sincere. “How you doing, kid?”

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I shook my head, wary.

Havoc squeezed my shoulder, not pressing me for answers thankfully. He seemed to expect it. "You’re in Central Hospital. You've been asleep for two days."

Slowly, I reclined backwards against the thin pillows, pushing back the memories of my dream and what had happened that night. "What happened after I…" I rasped. My throat felt tight, gritty. Havoc handed me a cup of water without missing a beat and started explaining in calming, succinct tones.

"After you ran off, Ed and Al returned to the Tucker Estate to find the man dead, his daughter trapped in a cage, and you missing. Edward went after you while Alphonse called Mustang for backup. When we got there, you were barely conscious. We transported you to the hospital immediately, and they had to perform surgery on your hand."

Oh god. I put my good hand over my face and bit my lip till I could taste blood, guilt added to the toxic miasma of my emotions. Nina. I had totally and completely forgotten about her. I left her in that godforsaken place  _ alone. _

Havoc answered my unspoken question quickly, catching my attention before I could spiral into what was sure to be a messy breakdown. "Tucker's daughter was not harmed when we found her. She was taken in by the state until we can find her someplace to stay." Havoc looked at me seriously. "She will be fine. She's staying with the Hughes’ at the moment, and she has been asking after you constantly. You can see her once you are released."

Slowly, I nodded and let tense muscles release. Poor little Nina. I really hoped the new orphan could forgive me for what I had done to her. I might have been terrified, but I left her alone to face that strange woman without any protection, with all of those disgusting creatures, with the corpse of–but at least she hadn't been killed. She would live to see adulthood.

"What about my hand? Will I recover?" Phantom pain raced through my arm as I remembered the feeling of the knife tearing through flesh. I had never experienced anything so agonizing in my life. It was numbed now by strong medications no doubt, but the drugs did not block the memory. It had all almost ended for me. I would have been fused with that  _ thing,  _ and then…I shuddered, forcefully shoving the memory into a little black box and firmly shutting it tight.

"You should be fine. Tucker was a lunatic, but he knew his stuff. The most you will have to suffer with is some slight nerve damage, but that should go away after about six months. You should be healed in about a few weeks."

I nodded, somewhat relieved. But still, something Tucker said nagged at the back of my mind. "Did the doctor say anything about…" I swallowed my words. Tucker said I wasn't human, but a creature that was the result of a human transmutation. Did that mean my anatomy was different from the humans of this world? A doctor would surely notice if that was the case. Like, I wouldn't be able to get a blood transfusion or something. I wanted to know, but…no, I didn't think I actually did. The thought that I might not even be human was deeply unsettling. "Never mind."

Havoc gave me a contemplative look that I could not decipher. I avoided his gaze and swiftly changed the subject. "What about Ed, did he pass?" That's right. That was the whole reason we were in Central in the first place. With all that had happened, I had totally forgotten about the exam. 

Havoc gave me a charming grin. "Naturally. The kid blew everyone away."

I chuckled weakly. "That sounds like Ed."

A small noise came from the doorway, and I tensed, only to let out a startled shout as it opened abruptly. My heart rate jumped from zero to sixty and the machines around me screeched, compounding my panic. 

Havoc cursed loudly and fumbled for the off switch on the monitor before giving up and yanking the plug from the wall. Deafening silence filled the room, only punctuated by my gasps. I clenched my eyes shut tightly, blocking out the room and willing my heart to slow. “Whoa, kid, it’s alright. It’s just Mustang.”

I clenched my jaw tightly before forcibly relaxing back into the pillows. It’s okay. Tucker’s gone...My lashes fluttered open, and sure enough, Mustang stood in the doorway. His handsome features were impassive, skin pale against the blue of his uniform. He looked tired, as if he had stayed up all night for days. Maybe he had. This whole mess had no doubt been causing him all sorts of trouble. I was momentarily distracted by the dark circles beneath his eyes before registering the concern in his expression. My face flushed with shame and my gaze cut away. Why did I have to be so freaking pathetic? In front of near strangers no less. 

A tense silence fell over the room and I saw Mustang moved out of the corner of my eye, but refused to look up. “Havoc, head off the staff. We’ve no doubt set off the alarm.” His voice was rough, sounding as tired as he looked. 

“Sir,” Havoc acknowledged. A warm hand landed on my shoulder before Havoc’s footsteps receded out of the room. 

A sigh, then Mustang walked to my bedside slowly, as if approaching a frightened animal. I would have been insulted, but that’s exactly what I felt like. He filled Havoc's vacant chair with a dramatic  _ whump. _ "How are you feeling?"

No preamble, and no comment of my behavior. After a moment, I felt safe enough to look up at him, hot flush receding. I saw no judgement on his face, and something tight in me unwound just a bit. I shrugged, and then shook my head. I had no idea. Besides a slight itch beneath my gauze and an aching exhaustion, I didn’t feel much of anything. "Numb."

Mustang huffed without much amusement. "That would be the drugs talking."

"Damn good stuff," I mumbled. 

"I need you to tell me what happened." 

I inhaled slowly, considering him thoughtfully. His expression was so serious, concentrated, arms resting on his legs and leaning forward. It might have been a weird thought considering the circumstances, but he really was remarkably attractive, even beneath the harsh white of florescent lights. I wondered vaguely if I would have enjoyed his attentions at any other time. But right now…Right now I felt exposed, like any small disturbance might break me. It wasn’t a feeling I was accustomed to, and I hated it.

"I don't want to talk about it." And I really didn't. It was too soon, the memories fresh and frightening at the edge of my consciousness. 

"It's somewhat important that we have the whole story," Mustang persisted without missing a beat. "You were the only one there that really understood what was going on."

I shook my head. Unperturbed, Mustang crossed his fingers in front of his face. "Fine, let me give you another reason. The higher ups have taken an interest in you because of this incident and whom you are related to. I've managed to stave them off so far, but unless I know what really happened, I can't give them a believable story. Do you really want them snooping around you and your brothers?"

I glared fiercely out of the corner of my eye, hackles raised in a rush of gooseflesh. "Is that a threat?" I gritted out.

"A warning," he shot back, not intimidated in the least. "The military doesn't give a damn about who it has to step over to get what it wants.” Mustang’s posture relaxed imperceptibly. “Let me help you."

I frowned deeply in thought. I did not trust him. He was the one who sent us to Tucker  _ in the first place. _ I wanted to point this out to him, and almost did with the most scathing voice I could muster, but something in his expression had me deflating before I could even begin. No. It wasn’t his fault. No one could have seen that coming. I didn’t even notice anything out of the ordinary until it was much too late, and I had been  living with the man for a year. 

Mustang might not have been involved in what happened, but that didn’t mean I was going to open up to him just because he asked. But...he had a point. If the military was interested in me, then they could find out what Al and I really were, and that would be horrific. I was going to have to talk. For Alphonse, if nothing else.

Slowly, haltingly, I began to tell him the events beginning from waking in Tucker’s lab to the events on the street, trusting for now that he would keep his word. I told him everything I could recall as clinically as possible, doing my best to disassociate myself from the memories. 

I left out what Tucker had told me. That I would keep to myself for now.

When I finished, Mustang finally spoke. "Why was Tucker interested in you in particular? You said he was going to use Nina for his chimera."

"I don't know," I lied. "I guess I was just convenient."

"More convenient than a helpless child? I've seen you fight. You would have been a risk."

“Fat lot of good being able to fight did me,” I seethed. I clicked my jaw closed, unwilling to speak of it further. I could feel his gaze burning into my profile, but refused to look at him, anger and guilt roiling beneath my skin uncomfortably. 

Mustang stood after a moment of silent staring. This time I was able to control my reaction, primal fear receding slowly as my body began to accept I was safe. Thank goodness…

"We will look into who the woman was that interfered, as well as the man you met in the alley." He turned to leave, but paused in the doorway to gave me an inscrutable look. "Get well." 

I stared after him, long after his low voice became memory. 

His gaze unsettled me. It was as if he knew more than he was letting on. I just couldn't tell what that man was thinking, and that scared me more than I cared to admit.

I was released that afternoon, the fresh air of the outdoors washing that horrible steril clinic smell from my nose. Much to my relief, I was greeted by the brightest smile I had ever seen from my adopted older brother, Alphonse radiating just as much delight at his side. Their presence instantly soothed me like nothing else could. I could feel the loneliness and desperation receding slowly from my tense shoulders at their bright countenances. 

"You’re finally awake! We were thinking you'd be asleep forever!" 

"Nah," I snarked. "I just needed a kiss from a handsome prince to wake me."

"Oh?", Ed said, narrowing his eyes, "and just who gave you this kiss of life, hm?" A slow smile spread over my face, immediately detecting Edward’s ‘older brother’ voice. With a flush of warmth realized he had never used it on me before. He glared expectantly and I jolted back to reality, responding to the banter just a hair too late to be natural. If either boy noticed, they didn’t say anything. 

I placed my good hand on my cheek and took on a dreamy expression, turning up my femininity dial to absurd levels. I think it creaked a little from lack of use, but it was worth it to see the looks on their faces. "Oh, someone you know, someone  _ really _ handsome."

"Pft." Ed snorted at my dreamy expression. "I hope you aren't talking about Havoc."

I wrapped my unbound arm around my torso and tilted my head up. "Oh Havoc!" The boys chuckled at my antics and I joined them, the laughs echoing around the courtyard and making the day seem just a little brighter. 

Edward placed a hand on my shoulder. "It's good to have you back." 

I couldn’t agree more, and I told them so. They smiled at me with such genuine affection, I think It broke me a little. 

"We were worried about you," Al said. He pulled something out from behind his back, revealing my coat, whole and unstained. I reached for it with giddy surprise. I thought it had been destroyed. "I saved it before they could throw it out and fixed it with alchemy," Al said, handing it over. I took it from him with a slight smile, careful not to touch him. I pulled it on, feeling a sense of welcoming normalcy wash over me. Well, as normal as my life could be right now.

Al stepped forward and tried to brush his hand over my covered arm to establish our connection, a habit we had formed, but a flash of trepidation had me flinching back. Al's hand hung in the air, and he curled into himself slightly in surprise. 

"Sorry, I just…"

"It's ok," Al said, dropping his hand. "I understand."

"Thanks Al," I smiled gratefully, even as I kicked myself internally for the hurt I could hear on his voice. I just didn’t think I could bear it, to allow his soul to touch mine. Not when I felt...well, I wasn’t sure how I felt. Having his purity come in contact with my...not when I wasn’t even…

A silence fell between us. But there was no anger, only concern. And for that, I think I would forever be grateful.

It wasn’t long after that that Ed told us he received his first mission from Mustang. We had to leave for the small town of Youswell immediately. I was a little thankful that I did not have to face Nina just yet. I don't think I could have handled it. I was absurdly weak at the moment, and it frustrated me. We boarded the train the same day.

–

I shifted on the hard train bench uncomfortably as night fell. The train rattled on beneath us, its classic (in my eyes) design not exactly streamlined for luxury. Edward snored softly from the booth on the other side of the aisle where he had moved so he could lay down on the bench. We would be arriving at Youswell the evening of the next day. My body ached just thinking about it. These benches were ridiculously hard.

"Are you in pain?" Alphonse stared at me from the opposite bench, his armor glowing pale blue in the moonlight. I glanced over at him and shrugged, not quite meeting his eyes. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I had not told Ed and Al what happened that night. Mustang had forced me to talk, but I still would rather not think about it at all. Everything Tucker told me weighed heavily on my mind, and I knew I needed to tell the brothers, but just not yet. I shook my head and Al sighed. "I'm here when you are ready to talk."

I smiled softly at the moon. "I know."

"There it is!" Al exclaimed a good fifteen hours later. Sure enough, a small town in the distance finally revealed itself over the rolling hills of the countryside. Edward and I gave simultaneous groans of relief. Finally! I didn't know what was going to kill me first, the boredom or the hard train bench. Ed stood up and stretched, rubbing his own sore bottom.

"About time," he exclaimed. "I don't think I'm ever going to like traveling by train." We got off the train in the late afternoon and got our first good look at Youswell.

In short, we weren't impressed. "Jeez, I thought this was supposed to be a coal mining town, not a ghost town," Ed grouched. The streets were nearly empty in the waning afternoon, and those that were around were sitting on the dirt roads between the houses forlornly. The town was filled with old buildings that looked like they had not been maintained in a long while, and the streets were deserted.

"They must be going through a rough time," I suggested. "Maybe the coal mine has run out, and that's why we've been sent to inspect it."

"Yeah, maybe," Ed said, looking around in disappointment. He had been looking forward to a nice warm bed after spending the night on that rough train, as had I. I could feel his impatience rolling off him in waves. "Let's just get this over with quickly so we can move on."

“So what first?”

We stood in a loose circle, Al and I both looking to Ed expectantly, waiting for him to make a decision. To my shock, I spotted a ball of tumbleweed blow past down the road and unbidden, a harmonica started playing in my head. I choked back a laugh. A town really didn’t get any backwater than this. Al tilted his head in question, but I waved him off, giggling to myself.

Edward let out a tired sigh, willfully ignoring my apparent insanity. “Let’s just find a place to stay, for starters. It’s not like we can go into a mine after hours anyway, and besides, I’m beat!”

“Here, here.”

We started down the road, the only main on in the whole town it looked like, and soon enough, we heard the telltale sound of laughter and music. I stop dead in my tracks. “Is that…”

It was. A two story saloon stood at the end of the row, light spilling out onto the street, complete with a set of swinging wooden doors. I laughed giddily. This couldn’t get any more perfect. I wondered how many Tuco quotes I could get in before someone determined I was certifiably insane. Racing ahead, I swung the doors open and stepped inside.  

Music jangled merrily from a radio behind a brightly lit bar, and people of all ages and sizes filled the tables scattered throughout the room. Most of them were large men wearing similar rugged clothing, and I took them to be the mine workers. But there were plenty of families as well, enjoying the evening together. With a surprising pang of homesickness, I realized it felt a lot like the Plaid Skirt. 

"Hey, what do you know, it's been a long time since we've had tourists!" A tall man stood from a table, lifting his drink in greeting. He was built, body cut into sharp lines of a man used to hard labor, with kind brown eyes. "My name is Holling, and I own this inn. We'll take good care of ya. It's not much, but since the mine's wages are so low, this little place helps us keep two irons in the fire."

I grinned and opened my mouth “If you work for a living–” a metal hand slapped over my mouth and I stalled, glaring at Edward. Well, that answered that question.

“I don’t know what you were about to say, but I can tell it was going to be ridiculous.” To Holling, he said, “One room for the night, please.” I huffed, crossing my arms petulantly while Alphonse chuckled. Rude.

Holling, without skipping a beat, gave us a wide grin and held up three fingers. "Three hundred thousand." 

Complete. Silence. Until all three of us began shouting at once.

"What?! Are you going to put gold bars on our pillows or something?!"

"Seriously, are we staying at an inn or buying a car!" 

“This is unreasonable…!” 

"Well boys, this is the best inn in town," Holling said unapologetically, putting his hands on his hips.

"Not to mention the only inn," a young man said as he walked up, mirroring Holling’s pose with enough familiarity that he couldn’t be anyone else but family. "We don't get tourists too often, so we have to milk you guys for all you are worth!" The teenager crinkled his own brown eyes at us as Holling patted him roughly on his thin shoulder. 

“Right you are, son!”

After a few more seconds to stare in disbelief, we sidled over to the corner, and Ed pulled out his wallet. There were a few hundred bills in it but it wasn't nearly enough. Ed groaned. "Damnit, this is so outside my military budget. No way is Mustang going to foot this bill…”

“Don’t you get paid a ridiculous amount of money?” I asked. 

He glared. “I’ve been a state alchemist for four days. They haven’t exactly paid me yet. Besides, no way am I going to just hand them that much money! This is insane!”

We stared silently at each other at a loss. “Um,” Al tried, “We could work for it?”

Edward frowned, clearly not liking the idea of working when all he wanted to do was relax after the long trip, but a slow smile took over his features, decidedly mischievous. “Al, you are a genius. Hey Holling!” The large man looked up from where he had been serving drinks. “Got anything around here that needs fixing?”

Oh. Heh. Good idea. Now what should I...my gaze wandered over to the bar on the side of the room where a harried young woman walked back and forth frantically between the small hoard of men sitting along the counter. With a mischievous grin of my own I shed my jacket and flung it across an empty chair, making my way over. Now this I could do. 

“Hey Miss,” I called out to the lone bartender, the harried young woman sending me a questioning glance. “Looks like you could use some help!”

–

An hour later, and the three of us had the saloon in an uproar. What else is new? 

A flash of light filled the room as Edward fixed a tool one of the miners had brought him across the way. I stood behind the bar with a crowd of my own admirers as I made them all my specialty drinks, courtesy of my job at the Plaid Skirt.

"Ahaha, who's next," Ed shouted from across the room. I shook my head at his antics and concentrated on my own payment. The selection of liquors was slim, but they had plenty of other ingredients around to add to my recipes.

"Wow," a man in front of me gulped a drink I had made for him in appreciation, "I haven't had a drink this good in ages!"

I flipped my hair over my shoulder arrogantly and continued to deftly make drinks with my one good hand. I was lucky the one that had been injured was my left, because otherwise I would have been useless. "Of course! I learned from the best."

Another man to my right groaned in delight. "These are amazing. What do we have to do to get you to live here forever?"

"Sorry," I winked playfully, "you're not my type." The man spluttered his friends guffawed and slapped him on the back. I laughed, having more fun than I had in a long while. 

But as usual, all good things must come to an end. 

Something slammed on the other side of the room, making me jump and almost drop the knife I was using to slice up some olives. The room became dead silent, the drop in sound startling after listening to the rowdy atmosphere for so long. Everyone turned around to see Ed backing up from Holling, who had his hands down on the table firmly and glared at Ed fiercely. "Did you say inspection? Are you with the State?"

"Well, yeah, I'm a state alchemist." Ed chuckled nervously. Holling apparently didn't think that was funny, because he grabbed Edward by the scruff of his neck and began to drag him towards the door before any of us could react. He shoved the protesting blond out of the inn, Edward no match for his strength when taken by surprise.

"We don't serve your kind here!" He shouted as he threw Ed's suitcase after him and slammed the door in his face, cutting off Ed's curse.

The large man shot Al and me a look, and I tensed as suddenly hostile gazes were directed at us. "What about you two, are you with the State as well?" Hesitantly, Al and I glanced at each other before shaking our heads. Holling nodded and stormed out of the room in anger. 

After a moment of tense silence, everyone around us relaxed and continued their conversations, although the atmosphere was slightly more subdued than before.

I let out a tense breath after several seconds, heart slowing down again. I leaned forward and grabbed the attention of the men sitting in front of me. "Why does Holling hate the military so much?"

"Everyone around here does," the large man said gruffly. "The military is the reason this town is in such dire straights. The man in charge of this sector, Yoki, is a greedy son of a bitch who lowered our wages and raised the taxes so high none of us could possibly pay it. No one in the military cares about anyone but their own damn selves." He stared at his empty glass gravely before suddenly perking up. "So, tell us about this master of yours who taught you how to make such good drinks." He held up his empty glass in demands of another, and everyone else was suddenly crowded in, waiting for my answer. I chuckled nervously and obliged. I shot a glance at the door every once in awhile in worry for Ed. It looked like this wouldn't be such an easy mission after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Here's the next chapter for all you lovely readers out there. We are finally past most of the angsty stuff from the last story arc, so hopefully we can get some action before it gets all dark again. And yup, Alex has still not talked to the boys about what happened, but he'll get around to it. I wanted to get this story moving a bit before I had to stop and do a bunch of explaining again. It'll get cleared up soon before they get to Lior. We won't see Nina for a while, but don't worry, she'll be fine.
> 
> Please leave me love, my lovelies! I worked really hard on this chapter and I deserve some cookies! Next chapter: Alex and Al have their first fight, and a bunch of sleazy bribing goes down. See you next time!


	14. Chapter 14

Despite the acute absence of our banished brother, the night continued as before. I quickly found myself thoroughly distracted with my task, leaving little room for worry. It wasn't long before then men I was entertaining became boisterous with drink. I handled their attentions and demands with grace, as I had every day at the Plaid Skirt for my time there, taking their requests and their coin for the grateful barmaid. All in all, it wasn't a bad way to pay my and Alphonse's room and board. It reminded me strongly of my time with Orkan, almost an entire year ago. Jeez, had it really been that long? It feels like a lifetime ago already. I wondered idly how he was doing and hoped he wasn't giving Tanya and the other barmaids too much trouble, that perverted old man. I should give him a call when I had a moment after this mission.

Al sat on the other side of the dining area from me, speaking with Holling and his son. I noticed that they had given him a plate of food, which he had not touched for obvious reasons. Usually Al would have to pretend to eat to keep up appearances, but this time he did not touch it at all. Maybe he was saving it for Ed, who had been thrown out before he had gotten a chance to eat. Poor kid must be starving, I thought guiltily. Maybe we should have gone after him... 

But Edward could take care of himself. I seriously doubted he would have wanted us to suffer with him. Especially if it made our mission more difficult than it needed to be.

I rifled through the cabinets behind the bar, looking for some fresh ingredients. I pulled out what appeared to blood oranges, their rinds a vibrant red color. Huh, that gave me an idea. I grabbed a few and added them to the other ingredients I had gathered.

"Ok, everyone," I announced, gaining the attention of the majority of the bar's patrons, "I've got a special treat for you. I call this drink the Bloody Hell, and it's my own recipe like nothing you've ever tasted in this land!" And it wouldn't be like anything they had ever tasted, because it took a true American to stomach such a crazy recipe. Party on. I began juicing the oranges with a juicer jammed between the bar and the wall, compensating for my lack of limb. Luckily, there was plenty of beer around, because that was the main ingredient for what I had in mind. That, and jalapeños. Oh yes. I glanced around discretely to make sure I had everyone's attention, and it looked like I was succeeding for the most part. I waved at Al, and the boy seemed to catch my drift. He grabbed his plate of food before quietly slipping out the door, unnoticed.

A man shouldered his way to the bar and leaned against the counter, grabbing my attention instantly. Blond hair, blue eyes, he looked like the majority of the people I had encountered in Amestris, and I found him decidedly handsome. I smiled in welcome, secretly enjoying his attention. 

He leaned over the bar like the other patrons and watched in fascination as I sliced jalapeños–or rather, what passed as jalapeños in this world, they were blue for Christ’s sake–and added it to my concoction in the large mixer. "Just who do you think is going to drink that thing?", he asked in a low disbelieving tone. The other patrons nodded in agreement, a little disturbed by my recipe. I began to shake the drink with a flourish and gave a mischievous grin.

"Only the bravest of men can handle this drink," I teased. I took out a tumbler and poured my bright red concoction over a large ice cube. At my challenging look, the young man squared his shoulders and took the proffered drink. Those around us gaped in anticipation as the blond brought the drink to his lips. He flinched slightly at the smell before steeling himself taking a large gulp. I winced. Maybe I should have warned him. Immediately, his face turned bright red, and he hacked as the men around him guffawed, boisterously slapping the youth on the back.

I clapped my hands together. "Right, anyone else want a taste?" Everyone put their hands up in surrender and nervously shook their heads, although many still shook with laughter. I shrugged and poured myself a shot in my own tumbler. I took a sip of the drink, like you’re  _ supposed _ to, and let the tingling flavor wash over my tongue, to the exclamations of the men around me. I smiled, feeling my cheeks heat up at the familiar spice. I used to drink these all the time back in my other life, and although it tasted a little different in the body I was in now, it still felt the same. At my pleasured expression, the patrons gaped at me in disbelief. They glanced at each other before they started loudly demanding a glass. I chuckle and complied, amusing myself by watching their expressions as they tried the drink for the first time. Swiftly, the pile of money in my collection grew. Should be just enough to cover our expenses, I thought smugly.

I took another sip and sighed in contentment. Man, I had missed having a good drink. Orkan had never let me have any, the old bastard...Not that it stopped me from indulging every once in awhile when he was blind drunk. Heh. A firm hand over mine suddenly grabbed my attention, pulling me out of my thoughts. My eyes blinked open in surprise to find the young man I’d admired earlier leaning over the bar, a charming grin on his face. "You're an impressive one, aren't you?"

My heart skipped a beat, traitorous thing. "Nah, I've just been a bartender before, that's all," I said back smoothly, although I heat rose in my face swiftly. Because of the drink, not because he was good looking and clutching my hand. Obviously.

"You know, you said earlier that you wouldn't stick around because that man wasn't your type. So tell me, what  _ is _ your type?" He looked at me earnestly as he leaned forward, and I blushed hotly. Was he…coming on to me? I looked around, as if checking to see if he was talking to someone else. But that was dumb, because I was the only one behind the bar at the moment. And he was holding my hand. Um. 

"Um…" I mumbled, not sure just what to say. Especially since I didn’t know what the hell was going on. My usual reactions to being hit on stalled hard due to the screaming alarm in my head saying  _ does not compute! _

"Because you know…" he pulled me forward as if trying to confide a secret. I leaned closer obligingly with a distinct feeling of unreality. I could feel the heat from his face and his gold hair shined brightly in the subdued light. The closer this guy got, the more attractive he became. “I’ve been looking for a guy just like you!”

Whoa. I was not expecting that. And he was giving me these big blue puppy eyes, though he had to be in his twenties at least, and if the guy got any closer I was going to have an aneurysm. “Y-yeah, what for?”

He leans back a little before pulling something from his pocket and holding it in front of me. I blinked, and it took me several seconds to recognize a picture of a cute bond girl smiling brightly from the small square of paper. “You’re just my sister’s type!”

My jaw dropped open in shock and my head smacked on the bar dramatically, reality swooping back in like a cold splash to the face. I sighed in disappointment and probably more than a little relief. Of  _ course _ he was going to introduce me to his sister. I'm a guy now,  _ a thirteen year old guy,  _ Jesus. All of my energy drained out of me and my inner voice cried out in annoyance.

"Big brother!" A girl sitting across the way screeched, and both of us jumped. I recognized her from the photo instantly, and she would have been just as pretty as her brother but for the splotchy red anger on her face.  “Stop trying to marry me off to every random guy you find impressive!"

"But I can't help it!" The older brother, who was still clutching my hand, wheedled back, "that farm boy you like just isn't good enough! You should marry someone I approve of!" I furrowed my brow in annoyance, trying to yank my hand back. There wasn't enough alcohol on the planet to deal with this nonsense.

The girl stood up and smacked the guys grip on my hand away before dragging her brother out of the room, yelling all the while. The other customers chuckled as if this were a daily occurrence before going back to their conversations. I threw back the rest of my drink with a slight gag at the taste and slumped back on the bar, my good humor gone. The patrons chatter filtered around me, but I ignored them as I sulked.

A man slapped me on the back and laughed drunkenly. "Don't worry, boy. A good lookin' kid like you is sure to get plenty of women chasing him in his life!"

"Erm, no…that's not…" I tried, but gave up before I finished. What was I supposed to say? That I wasn't interested in girls?  _ That _ would fly over well.

Well. I didn’t actually know that. It’s not like I’d actually  _ seen _ any prejudice against it, but I hadn’t exactly seen any gay couples either. And I’ve been living in this world for years already. 

Whatever. Not important. I wasn’t going to stick around in this world long enough for romance anyway–

The friendly pat turned tense, large fingers squeezing painfully into my shoulder hard enough to bruise. "Hey, what–" I protested, but then I noticed with a shiver of nervousness that everyone in the bar had fallen deathly silent. A crackled, angry energy hung in the air and the previously boisterous miners now wore stony expressions.

A trio of men stood in the center of the inn, all wearing military blues. Two of them were large and burly, as fit as the miners around me. One was taller than the other, black hair cropped short over serious grey eyes, and a sword on his hip. The other was wider, if a couple inches shorter, expression just as dark and similarly armed. Clearly bodyguard types, what with the protective way they flanked the soldier between them. 

The one in front was a lanky fellow with a balding head and a sour expression. If I had to describe him, I would say an upper crust sort, the kind of man–with manicured nails and perfectly groomed sideburns–that would look down at you for breathing the same air. He covered his face with a handkerchief and looked down on the patrons haughtily. A couple of stars glinted off of his jacket. 

"Holling, your inn is delightfully filthy as always," the officer said with a wheedling high voice. His words dripped with contempt and malice, and I took an instant dislike to him. "It seems like the rumors of this place being a gathering spot for thugs and ruffians were true."

Holling glared menacingly at the arrogant man and I could almost hear him grinding his teeth from some yards away. "Lieutenant Yoki," he growled, "you should cover your face more often. It's a good look for you."

Yoki hardly looked intimidated. If anything, I could see his sneer beneath his handkerchief grow even more disgusted. Brave man. Holling could snap him in half. "Enough small talk," Yoki snapped. "I'm here to collect the taxes on this place. You are late. In fact, I could say the same for all of the people of this town." I could feel the people in close proximity to me tense further, and the man who was holding me tightened his grip. I gasped silently in discomfort, but the minor didn’t even seem to notice he was doing it. 

"Our wages are too low to pay the taxes, sir," Holling gritted out.

"You are paid so little because that's what you men are worth," the shorter bodyguard sneered.

I stared in disbelief, numb to the rising tensions in the room, even as they doubled with Yoki’s words. Is this really happening? I searched frantically around the room for Alphonse, but couldn’t see him. This is bad. This scene was going to turn ugly at any minute. 

"What!" A man beside Holling stood and banged his hands on a table angrily. I jumped.  "You can't just lower our wages and raise the taxes and still expect us to –" He was cut off rudely by the other of Yoki's guards, the tall man with striking eyes. They held no warmth, piercing the patrons intimidatingly with blades of ice.

"The State has given Lieutenant Yoki full authority over this town. You would do well to learn your place," he stated monotone, crossing lithe arms.

Another man shouted angrily from the crowd. "He only got to where he is by taking all the money we sweat and bled for and using it to bribe the higher ups!"

Yoki laughed mockingly. "If you've got it all figured out, then maybe you should try bribing me?" I grit my teeth in anger and reached for a tonfa behind my back, knowing whose side I would be on should this come to blows. This guy was really starting to get on my last nerve. If this was what these people had to deal with on a daily basis, then I completely understood why they hated the military so much. "But don't blame me," Yoki continued haughtily, "because you have to grease the wheels. It's the way of the world."

Anger at this contemptuous man rose within me and I grabbed ahold of my weapon, but someone else beat me to the punch. Kyle, Holling's son, yelled out in fury and threw a glass at Yoki's smug face. In a flash of reflection, the black haired guard’s sword was unsheathed and in front of Yoki’s face. The glass shattered off the flat of his blade. Yoki flinched, but after a split second his expression, if it was possible, got even more smug. "Don't kill him Barret, we just want to make an example of him." My heart hammered in my chest, shocked by the man’s speed. Holy hell. Wait, what?!

"Yes sir," Barret grunted, taking a menacing step forward. I tried to jump over the bar, but the patrons in front of me, who had closed ranks when the man had drawn his weapon, blocked me in. The man holding onto me held me back, and I tried vainly to shake his grip. What were they doing? Get out of the way! 

Kyle stumbled back in fear with a cry and fell.

"Kyle, no!" Holling rushed forward, only to be brutally put down by the other guard. His body hit the floor with a loud thump, a solid knee digging into his back holding him in place. Kyle's mother screamed out in distress, blocked from moving forward just as I was. Barret lifted the sword above the trembling boy, and no one else was moving forward  _ why was no on trying to stop this– _ I scrabbled at the man’s hand holding me back, but he held firm, pushing me behind himself. 

In that moment, I don’t think I’ve ever resented looking like a child more, and I didn’t want to hurt him, but if he didn’t get the  _ fuck out of my way– _

A flash of blade, as clash of metal and a startled cry. I froze in my bid to escape, eyes widened in shock.

Edward, eyes cold and arm held out over his head, held the blade casually in his steel hand. Kyle trembled beneath him, unharmed. An impasse held as the bodyguard stared impassively back. Then the sword withdrew, Barret stepping away and sheathing it with a blank look to Yoki for direction. I relaxed back, relief flooding through me harshly enough to make my legs weak. Took his damn time, didn’t he? Thank goodness.

"Who the hell are you?", Yoki shouted angrily through the shocked silence.

Ed lowered his arm slowly, still eyeing Barret distrustfully, before stuffing his hands in his pockets. "When I heard the Lieutenant would be dropping in, I thought I would come by and say hello." The blond pulled his out silver pocket watch, holding it out for inspection like an ID. And maybe that was what it was. I hadn’t actually thought of it before.

Yoki's jaw dropped. "State alchemist," he whispered. "Emest, let him up." Yoki snapped at his other guard, who was still pinning Holling to the floor. The man let Holling up and both the guards snapped a salute to Ed. Yoki plastered on a sleazy smile and folded his hands together. "Please forgive my men, they tend to get a little overzealous at times when it comes to their duties. To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

Ed lifted his brow. "I'm just here to do a little inspection," he said casually.

"An inspection, you say? Marvelous. Please, I would be delighted to invite you to my mansion for the duration of your stay. I hope you haven't had too much trouble with these riff-raff."

Yoki gestured towards the door and Edward walked out ahead of him, Yoki and his guards falling into step behind him. Barret slammed the door behind them, and the occupants of the room slowly relaxed.

"Those dogs," the man holding me back spat. He patted me on the shoulder before  _ finally _ letting go. I rubbed my arm for circulation, giving him a glare for good measure. Probably thought he was protecting me, the jerk.

"So that’s the guy in charge," I said to myself. I wished Edward all the best of luck. I had no inclination to follow him out of the inn. Was this a daily occurrence around here or something? Jesus, that kid almost got  _ maimed _ . I could see the woman holding onto him tightly with tears running down her face, the kid practically vibrating in her arms, while Holling was being physically held back by several men from storming out of the inn after that sleazy bastard. Thank goodness we were here, or I don’t know what would have happened.

The night was pretty much over after that, everyone having thoroughly lost their good moods due to the military's arrival, and I was no longer needed behind the bar. I spotted Al on the other side of the room and sidled over. "Well, that was a huge load of drama," I said, leaning against the wall next to the suit of armor. “I mean, did you  _ see _ how no one even moved to help? How used to this are these people?”

"Yeah," Al said. "I don’t know what would have happened if Ed hadn’t heard the commotion and we came back inside. I’m glad we made it though.” He paused thoughtfully. “I feel sorry for them, having to put up with someone like him. The military is supposed to protect people, not extort them."

I shrugged, agreeing. That’s how it should be, sure. But this was a military state, not one based upon democracy. How would I know that this wasn’t the norm here? I really, really hoped it wasn’t, for Edward’s sake. "I think this town is just a little too out of the way, and no one is really paying attention to what is going on out here. It could just be that no one in Central Command has noticed."

"Maybe," Al said doubtfully. "Do you think brother will be ok?"

"I'm sure Ed can handle it. He's got more brains in his little finger than Yoki has in his whole body." I pushed off the wall. "Come on, let's get out of here. I'm beat."

–

The room we were given was a small, only containing two twin sized beds and a desk. I dropped my bag with my travel gear at the foot of one of the beds and threw open the window, leaning against it to breathe in the night air. I was exhausted mentally and physically from all that had happened. It felt like I hadn't caught a break since before…Well, the constant movement was taking its toll. I shuffled over to the desk with a small washbasin on it, and gingerly began to unbind my hand. I winced at what I found. The flesh around the stitches was red and inflamed, swollen grotesquely. At least it did not look infected after all I had put it through in the last couple of days, although it ached horribly.

Alphonse clanked up behind me. "Here, let me help." He extended his hand, but I shied away from his touch. He pulled back slightly.

"No, it's fine, I've got it," I said stubbornly, struggling to open the pouch containing the medicine I would need to clean the wound. I growled as the seam refused to come apart. I pulled one end with my teeth and yanked viciously, entirely impatient after my long day.

"Alex," Alphonse tried, reaching out to take the pouch. I jerked away from him and shook my head. Unconsciously I tried to move my other hand to help, and pain zinged down my arm, a gasp escaping me before I could control it.

"Alex!" Alphonse snapped, voice ringing loudly through his armor and into the room. Startled, I jumped and the pouch hit the floor with a quiet thump. I looked up at Al with wide eyes, surprised at his sudden outburst. "Quit being an idiot and let me help you," he said, at the end of his patience.

My mouth opened. Closed. I looked away. "I can do it, really –"

"No," Alphonse said, "you can't. You can't keep avoiding me forever."

My mouth opened again with a ready denial at the tip of my tongue, but it died a swift death under the oppressive silence between us. I hung my head. He was right of course. I had been avoiding his touch ever since I woke up. But it wasn't like I didn't have a good reason!

"Look," Al said, taking in the stubborn set of my jaw, "I know you've been feeling stressed lately, I get it. But you are hurting yourself by avoiding me." He sighed as my expression did not change. "Just let me take care of your wound. I will not let you hurt yourself over this."

Al extended his and again for my own and irrational anger spiked within me. I grit my teeth but grudgingly admitted to myself that Alphonse had a point. I really couldn't take care of this wound on my own. I extended my hand, feeling like a reprimanded child.

Alphonse took it gently, careful to both suppress his emotions and not to jostle the wound. He flinched slightly at my inner turmoil, but did not comment as he diligently began applying medicine to the inflamed area and rewrapping it. As he was in contact with my skin, I felt all of his concern and worry, and more than a little bit of hurt, and it only made me angrier, even though I couldn't really rationalize why.

"You are in a lot of pain," Al said quietly. I grunted in response. Of course I was, I got stabbed in the hand! Al shook his head, his armor clanking, as if reading my thoughts. "Not just your hand. You're hurting on the inside." He tied off the gauze.

I jerked my hand back as soon as he finished. "Yes, I get it, you can feel my every emotion. You don't need to broadcast it," hissed defensively.

"Alex," Al said gently, "I don't need to be in contact with you to sense when you’re in pain."

For one terrifying moment, I thought Alphonse meant that he could feel my emotions physically even without touching, but then I realized what he meant. It wasn't our strange connection; it was Al's natural empathy. I thought back to the emotions he had broadcasted to me, and my anger drained away, leaving only emptiness. He was just worried about me. I sighed and flopped back onto the bead, ignoring how it squeaked obnoxiously. I threw my arm over my face to hide my eyes, blocking out the dim light.

"I'm sorry, Al," I whispered. "I know I've been kind of a jerk lately. When this mission is over…I'll talk to you then. Just give me a little more time…"

"…Ok," Al said. I could hear him clanking to the other side of the room and back, and I felt him gently pull a blanket over me. The sweetness only made me ache. "Just remember, Ed and I are here for you. You don't have to bare any of this alone."

I nodded and fell still, allowing myself to relax my tired muscles completely. The last thing I heard before falling asleep was Alphonse clanking to the other bed, preparing to enter his nightly vigil.

-o0o-

Edward glanced around his surroundings with polite interest, although inside he was seething with annoyance. He sat in a large dining room in Yoki's mansion, waiting for his meal to be served. The floors and walls of the hall were a smooth white marble and the edges of the windows and the faux columns that decorated the walls were trimmed in gold. The only furniture in the overly spacious room was the long stately table at which he and his host sat, covered in a white tablecloth and various refined tableware.

Yoki sat across from him, a smug expression on his pompous face. Ed remained impassive as the man spouted platitudes and flattery in his direction. The sucking up was definitely new. In fact, Edward couldn’t think of a single instance where someone else was actively holding him in such high regard, and it was a surreal experience to realize he actually outranked this sleazeball twice his age. One would think it would be flattering, empowering even. 

But Edward just wanted to take a long,  _ thorough _ bath. It was all he could do to keep the outright disgust from showing on his face. Especially since he knew it was probably an act, one meant to placate him. Yoki probably thought he was just some dumb kid, the bastard. The utter arrogance of it made him boil. 

"It's such an honor for me to be hosting a genuine state alchemist such as yourself in my humble abode." Ed snorted internally. Humble his automail foot. "I hope the food is to your liking. I tried to have something prepared that would fit your refined taste."

Ed glanced down as a maid placed a plate in front of him. All it had on it was a small cut of meat slathered in gravy. He smothered a lifted brow. How was that supposed to fill him up?

"You sure are eating well, considering the economic conditions of the town," Ed commented dryly, not bothering to pick up one of the three forks sitting next to his gold trimmed plate.

"Times are hard for all of us," Yoki stated smoothly, sidestepping the obvious jab. "I tell you, I have had a lot of trouble collecting taxes from those rowdy towns folk." He folded his hands delicately together. "And those miners can be so brutishly obstinate sometimes, as you saw."

"And by obstinate, you mean asserting their rights and refusing to pay more than they earn," Ed drolled, expression neutral.

"See, you get it! I knew you were a man of great understanding!"

"To understand the world you only need to grasp one thing, the concept of Equivalent Exchange, the founding rule of alchemy. You can't get without giving. Right?" Ed clicked his teeth together at the last 't', his eyes hooded.

"Absolutely, eloquently put. I myself have always conducted business under a similar guiding principle. In the spirit of which…Kyla?" A young maid delicately placed a velvet bag next to Edward's elbow and slid it forward. It clanked as it came to a stop, hinting at its contents. "This is just a small token of my appreciation."

Ed glanced at the bag. "This supposed to be some kind of bribe, Yoki?"

"That is such an ugly word. Let's just call it a gift from me to you. Now," Yoki leaned forward and laced his fingers in front of his face, "about your inspection of the mine."

Ed closed his eyes. "Yeah, I think I catch your drift," he said blandly.

Yoki grinned, pleased. "I just knew we would reach an understanding, you and I. Oh, and I have a feeling the townspeople will start behaving very shortly."

The way the sleazy man said it made Edward's skin crawl, but he accepted his terms for the moment. The man was quick on his feet, he’d give him that. There was little he could do at that point. He needed to regroup with his brothers, and then he would figure out just what to do about Yoki and his thugs.

After dinner, Ed was led to a spacious bedroom with a four-poster bed and a view of the town below. He washed his face in a water basin placed on a lavishly decorated desk and flopped back on the bed to think on what he had learned. From what he could tell, Yoki had free reign out here in the boonies, with virtually no military supervision. He wondered idly if Yoki had bribed every alchemist who had come to inspect his mine or if they just hadn't cared about the economical situation of the town. Either way, Yoki had to go. But how? Ed contemplated this for a couple hours before falling into a light doze, tired from the events of the day.

His slumber was interrupted as a violent rumble echoed off the canyons surrounding the town like thunder. Ed sat up, startled, and looked out the window. His heart stopped.

Down at the edge of town, the inn where his two brothers were staying was on fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go. A little bit of humor, a dash of action, and a sprinkle of angsty sweetness. I hope you guys enjoyed this.
> 
> I cracked up when writing the bar scene. If you can imagine this, I was that blond guy once, trying to flirt with the bartender, and I totally was trying to show off and nearly spewed that drink all over his face. Smooth, I know. But seriously, that drink is terrible. I couldn't even be embarrassed when he laughed at me, because I was too busy gagging. Lol, but Alex is boss for liking it :P I just couldn't resist.
> 
> Next Chapter: What happened to Alex and Al????


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex never wondered what it would be like to be cooked like a turkey in an oven and then have the oven explode. He finds out anyway.

I dreamed.

_ Trees and grass swayed slowly in the breeze of the afternoon, and I leaned lazily back as the sun warmed my skin. I sat upon a bright blue-checkered blanket and sipped wine as I enjoyed the wind blowing through my loose hair. A delighted shriek drew my attention, pulling a soft smile to my face.  _

_ Two small children played in the glen, their laughter filtering through the flowers and trees like ringing bells. A girl no older than six with long brown hair held the hand of a small black-haired child no older than two. They giggled and rolled together in the grass, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful sight. _

_ I sighed deeply in contentment, and a voice beckoned me. A black haired man sat beside me, short locks waving slightly in the breeze. My lover smiled at me, handsome features haloed in a way only a dream could. He brought a gentle hand to my face and brushed my hair aside, and when I opened my eyes again, his face blurred, brown eyes darkening to black and smile becoming an arrogant smirk– _

I awoke with a start and lay still, my heart hammering in my chest. I waited silently, trying to determine what had awoken me. A cool breeze drifted through, making the curtains around the window sway lazily.

"Alphonse," I whispered. I turned my head over to the other side of the room.

"What is it?" Alphonse asked. He sat on the other bed, a book open on his large knee.

"…I dunno, I just –" Another breezed swayed through the room and I sat up in alarm. "Al, I smell smoke." I jumped up off the bed, swaying slightly from vertigo, and rushed towards the window. At first I could not see anything, but the smell was stronger.

On the other side of the room, Alphonse jumped to his feet as well. He opened the door and immediately reared back as black smoke billowed into the room.

"Alphonse!" I shouted, rushing to his side. He pushed his arm out and held me back. Below us outside, people began to shout out in alarm. "Al, we have to get out of here."

"But what about the other people in the inn?", he said fretfully.

I cursed, heart in overdrive. "Al there's no time! If the fire reaches the kegs in the basement, we'll be toast!"

The building lurched, throwing both of us to the side and into the walls with a loud crack. “What the–the building’s coming down!"  Al exclaimed. We heard a scream through the walls, desperate and young. "That sounded like Kyle!" We shared a frantic look before plunging into black smoke and running down the hall.

Immediately, my lungs burned and my eyes watered. We could not yet see any flames, but the smoke was hot and acrid on my skin. We hurried down the hall to where we could hear distressed yells. Alphonse kicked down the door in our path, not bothering to open it properly.

The ceiling of the small room we had entered was collapsed in on itself, boards and shingles hanging down and littering the floor. I clenched my teeth in anxiety. If we didn't get out of there soon, the whole building would come down before the kegs could even ignite. I tore my gaze from the hole in the ceiling and scanned the room for the boy. He was there, trapped under a ceiling beam. He heaved and clawed at the floor, but the beam pinned him in place.

"Come on!" Alphonse moved forward swiftly and began to try and move the large object off of the crying boy. I followed by him closely and grabbed onto Kyle's arm to pull him out. We heaved for several tense minutes as the smoke filled the room and filtered out through the hole in the ceiling. My and Kyle's breathing became labored as we inhaled the poisonous gas.

Finally, the beam moved with a grating crunch, and I pulled Kyle out roughly, the boy tumbling on top of me. We both struggled to our feet and rushed towards the door. Kyle stumbled, crying out as his leg collapsed beneath him, and Alphonse picked him up.

"Go ahead! I've got him!" Alphonse threw the boy over his shoulder and I rushed forward, reassured that I could hear Alphonse clanking behind me. We made it to the stairs and I reared back as hot air and harsh red light nearly blinded me. I squinted down the steps to see the entire first floor a sea of flames. Pulling my jacket over my face, I stumbled down the blistering steps, trying to avoid the fire as best I could, Al following close behind me.

I had never felt such an intense heat in my life, and adrenaline surged through me, banishing the dizziness as I dodged debris and made a mad dash towards the door. Just when I thought we would make it out of this hellish situation unharmed, Alphonse shouted out in warning behind me. I spun around just in time to see the ceiling of the inn crashing down right between us, cutting off his escape rout. "ALPHONSE!" I screamed, inhaling the clogging smoke and choking on panic. 

Furniture and flooring fell through the ceiling in a tumult of cracking wood and billowing smoke. I fell backwards with a strangled shout, covering my head as best I could while it rained down, threatening to crush me. It pushed me through the open door and into the night air, landing hard on my back and unable to draw breath. I immediately tried to regain my footing and get back into the inn, but the world was spinning around me nauseatingly.

I didn't make it two steps before a hand roughly grabbed my jacket collar and yanked me bodily away. A large man held me firmly to his chest and rushed away from the inn. I struggled to escape his grasp, clawing at the arms that held me. He didn’t so much as budge, though I left bleeding furrows in his skin. "No!" I had to get back now! Before–

"Alphonse! Al–" I wheezed, grasping towards the building like doing so would pull my brother from its fiery grasp. 

“Holling!” Someone shouted, but it barely registered to me. “Kyle’s still in there!”

The man holding me stopped dead. “What–” I immediately slipped from his grasp with a violent wrench, sprinting back towards the building, hand outstretched.

The building exploded.

For several seconds, my world was a mass of bright light and sound and pain. I struck the ground harshly several times as a wall of heat and debris engulfing me in a crushing wave of force. I came to a violent stop at a wall of an adjacent building, back slamming harshly into the stone foundation. For a moment, all I could do was curl into myself and wait for the world to stop spinning and breath to return to my aching lungs. Slowly, I managed to push past the pain and open my eyes to take in my surroundings through the thick smoke. Holling pushed himself to his hands and knees beside me several feet away, devastation on his wide features. He was saying screaming something, but I couldn’t hear anything through the ringing silence.

Dazed, I ignored him, struggling to sit up. My eyes watering from both the pain and the exposure to smoke. Through the haze, I could make out what was left of the inn, and my heart stopped. The damage was disastrous. What was once a proud inn now only held a blackened crater of rubble. Nothing living could have survived that, no way...

"Alphonse! ALPHONSE," I wheezed. I struggled to my feet, ignoring as my body screamed at me to stay down.

I scanned furiously through the still smoldering rubble, only vaguely aware of a crowd of people shouting all around me.  _ He can't be dead, oh please no– _

I stood in front of the smoking wreckage in disbelief. There was nothing left. “No…” I whispered, tears tracking down the filth on my face. “No...Al…”

"Over here…" a weak voice came from the rubble. 

My breath caught in my throat. Then I was moving, scrambling over the wreckage, ignoring the splintered wood that cut and burned my skin, collapsing to my knees and dug into the rubble with abandon. Pieces that would normally have stymied me flew out of my way until I could see the gunmetal grey of Alphonse’s armor. “Al! Al, can you move?”

“No,” Al’s voice filtered through, sounding unharmed but strained. I let out a choked sob of relief. “I’m stuck, and I can’t move or I might crush Kyle.”

“H-hold on, I’ll get you out of there.” There was a huge crossbeam across Alphonse’s back, way larger than I could possibly lift. But you can bet your ass I threw my whole weight into it anyway.

I heaved, sobbing again when it didn’t so much as budge. But there was commotion around me, and suddenly I wasn’t alone. Several large men, half a dozen miners at least, stepped up beside me and added their strength as well. The beam rolled off with a mighty crash, and Alphonse was revealed. 

I gasped in relief as planks of blackened wood shifted aside, and Alphonse stood up. His armor was dented and battered, but otherwise he was unharmed. Below him, held protectively in his large arms, was Kyle, the boy shaking like a leaf and his face covered in soot and small burns.

The three of us were hauled out of the wreckage, and I would have been upset at being manhandled–again–if I wasn’t so damned relieved that Alphonse was alive.  The second I was placed on my feet and Alphonse was relieved of his burden, I stumbled to his side and threw my arms around him. The brush of his consciousness against my soul had me trembling all over again, and I didn’t care in the least that his metal chest was practically burning my skin, not when his arms wrapped around me as well. 

"Are you ok?"

"Am  _ I _ ok? You're the one who was in an _ exploding building _ ," I shouted angrily. I slumped forward against his chest in relief and allowed our connection to sooth me, and my heartbeat slowed back to normal. I slapped his armor weakly. "Idiot. Why do you always have to be such a damn hero?" Amusement drifted through our link, and I slapped him again.

"Heh, sorry," Al said, clearly not sorry at all.

“Al! Alex!” A shout had both of us spinning around to practically catch a frantic Edward as he barreled towards us.

"Ed!"

"Brother! Where have you been?"

“Forget about me, what about you!? Are you guys okay?” His eyes scanned over the both of us, taking in our disheveled appearances. It couldn’t have been pretty. 

I stretched my hands over my head, taking stock. I winced, the move pulling a plethora of bruises and burns over my back and arms. Overall, though. “Could have been worse.”

“Yeah,” Al agreed, and Edward sighed, reassured.

“I can’t ever let you out of my sight, can I?”

“Pft. You’re one to talk, brother.”

“Heh. Got me there.”

Anguished sobbing interrupted our reunion, and the three of us shifted our attention to the people surrounding the inn. Holling clutched his wife and son to him, both of them crying in distress, as he looked on the ruin of his livelihood and home stoically.

We watched regretfully as the early morning sun rose, feeling helpless. 

"Who could have done such a thing?" Al asked quietly.

"Three guesses who." Edward walked up to stand beside us, expression grim as he took in the scene. "Yoki was so kind as to put me up for the night."

"So did Yoki do this," I rasped, throat still a bit sore from the fire. 

"I'll bet my pocket watch on it. The bastard tried to bribe me last night after we left from the inn. After dinner at his  _ mansion _ , he told me that he didn't think the townsfolk would be trouble for much longer. I guess this is what he meant."

"You're a state alchemist, right?" We turned towards Kyle, who was walking to us with slumped shoulders and a desperate expression. My heart went out to the kid.

"You can just make some gold, right? For my dad? You could save us all!"

Edward frowned. "I can't."

"What! Why not? It wouldn't cost you anything!"

"You don't understand," Ed shook his head. "The whole  _ world _ is Equivalent Exchange. If I just made you gold, I would have to pay the price."

"So what, now we have to bribe you too?" Kyle grabbed onto Ed's shirt roughly, his grief looking childish compared to Ed's serious expression, despite the fact that they were the same age. "And you call yourself an alchemist!"

Edward gave him a sharp look. "If I did this and got caught, not only would they strip me of my state certification, they would throw me in jail for the rest of my life! Are you asking me to sacrifice my life for you?", he said harshly.

Kyle let him go and backed up as if burned. He looked down in shame. "No," he said quietly. "I guess I can't ask that…"

Edward sighed and said a bit softer, "Look, even if I were to get you the money, it would just be taken away in taxes. Your problem isn't lack of funds. It's Yoki."

"You're right." Holling stepped up behind his son and gripped his shoulders. "It's about time we do something about that swindler." The townsfolk who had gathered in the face of the fire shouted angrily in agreement all around us.

"Whoa, wait a sec," I said in alarm. "You can't just attack a military base, corrupt or not."

"Then what do you suggest we do? Let him take our money until we starve?"

"Just leave it to us," Edward interjected. "This is military business. You guys just stand back and let us handle it."

"You think we are going to entrust our livelihoods in the hands of a couple of kids?"

The blond slipped his state alchemist's watch out of his pocket, spinning it twice and catching it with a clank in his automail hand. "Do we look like regular kids to you?", he said with a roguish grin.

-o0o-

A few hours later, Al and I stood in a large room at the front of Yoki's mansion, waiting for the man to give us an audience. Ed had gone ahead of us, walking through doors as if he owned the place.

"Do you really think this is going to work?" I asked idly, leaning against the hard surface of the objects behind me. They were cold to the touch, and felt good against the bandages covering my burns. I grimaced, hoping those would heal quickly.

Al shrugged with a clank of his shoulder plates. "Ed came up with it, so either it's going to work, or there is going to be some random explosion that blows us into next week."

"Didn't that already happen a couple of hours ago?"

Alphonse fingered the new tassel that Ed had created for him when he had repaired his armor with alchemy. "Yeah," he giggled.

"This is ridiculous.  _ You two _ are ridiculous."

Alphonse shrugged again, as if to say, ‘what’s your point?’. I sighed, giving up. “Do you really think Yoki’s that stupid?”

The door to the room swung open and Ed leaned against the frame, interupting us. "Darn, and here we lugged all of this up for nothing." Yoki stood behind him, jaw dropped unattractively. I grinned at him and waved, leaning against one of the four piles of gold bars that cast a light yellow light throughout the room.

"Buuut if you really say the mine is not for sale, I guess we should just take all this back–"

"D-d-don't be ridiculous," Yoki screeched. He placed his hands together greedily. "Of course the mine is for sale," he said in a wheedling tone. "But, you see, this town was entrusted to me by my superiors. To just give it away for my own personal gain would be a bit…"

Ed waved his hand flippantly. "Don't worry, none of this gold shows up on any of the books. You've got nothing to worry about."

Yoki began to sweat, although his smile never slipped. "Still…"

Edward widened his eyes before frowning and rubbing his chin, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Oh, I know! Why don't you sign a letter stating that you give over all rights to the mine and the surrounding lands over to me, free of charge? Then you can take all of this as an unrelated gift." The blond smiled innocently, and Yoki turned his greedy eyes over to the piles of gold bars, practically drooling.

Al and I walked over and stood at Edwards sides, the three of us exchanging glances and triumphant grins. Too easy.

“To answer your question earlier,” Alphonse told me pointedly. “Yes, yes I do.” I laughed, loud and bright, but Yoki was too busy counting his gold to pay me any heed.

–

That evening, exhausted and sweaty but with the smug satisfaction of a job well done, the three of us found Holling and a group of miners in a small house, arguing.

"But why can't I fight?!" Kyle shouted and slammed his hands on the table before him. 

"You know why," Holling grumbled. "I almost lost you Kyle. I can't go through that again."

"But what about you?"

"We have to do this son. It's the only way."

"Not quite." All eyes turned through the door, where Edward stood with a shit-eating grin on his face, Alphonse and I a step behind him. "Let's see if I can't turn those frowns upside down."

"What do you want?" Holling spat coldly.

"Come now, is that any way to talk to your new superior, landlord and all around overseer?" Ed said teasingly. Alphonse and I exchanged a glance and I inwardly rolled my eyes, but I allowed Edward to have his fun. We did just do these people a great service after all.

Edward held up a piece of paper for everyone to see. "Is that –"

"That's right, the deed to Youswell," Ed continued in an arrogant tone. "This little piece of paper states that the town, trade routes and all rights to the mine belong to  _ me _ now." Tension rose in the room, and Ed continued on with a smirk. "However, I've got to be getting on with my busy life of being a state alchemist, and I don't think this is even worth carrying around with me. It's  _ so _ heavy."

"Why you! So you're going to sell it for a profit, is that it?"

"That's right," Ed shot, "and it ain't gunna be cheap, I can tell you that. After all, not only is this deed written on high grade parchment, it's got gold leaf trim and comes in a box of finely crushed jade, in a nonchalant, yet luxurious design. Oh yes, this is high grade stuff," He placed his finger on his chin, "I'd say it's at least worth three hundred K."

"Three hundred? For the deed to Youswell?" Holling asked in disbelief.

"You bet! Now that I think about it, a room at the inn for three people is worth three hundred K. Why don't you let my brothers and I stay for the night and we'll call it even?"

Holling smiled, bewildered. "Equivalent Exchange, huh."

"But," Kyle interjected. "Our inn was destroyed."

"Oh," Ed grinned. "Then what is that over there."

The miners exchanged glances before everyone ran out of the house in a rush. Across the street, where the old inn once sat, now stood a new building, brand new. It looked pretty close to the old inn. It wasn’t perfect by any means, and we had had to bring in all new materials to build it, since there was nothing to be salvaged from the old structure, but it wasn’t bad at all.

"It looks as good as new. It's like magic," Holling whispered under the exclamations of all the men around him.

I laughed. “Close enough.”

"So," Edward walked to Holling's side and crossed his arms. "What do you say?"

Holling looked down to the kid beside him, grateful beyond belief at his change in fortune. "Of course Ed."

Edward’s smile dropped a little, turning sincere. “Anytime Holling. You saved my brother. I don’t think I could ever repay you enough.”

Holling looped his arm around Edward, pulling the surprised blond into a side hug that had Edward blushing crimson. I shifted guiltily at the stark red scratches I could see on his arm, but Holling gave all three of us a wide grin. “Your brothers saved my son, and now the three of you have saved my town! As far as I can see, we are  _ more _ than even.”

The three of us traded pleased looks. Looks like our first mission was a success after all. 

A loud screeching assaulted our ears as a car slid around the corner and came to an abrupt stop. "Elric!" Yoki jumped out of the car, his guards Barret and Emest a step behind him. "The gold you gave me just up and suddenly turned into coal! What is the meaning of this?"

Edward smiled innocently. "Why, I don't have any idea what you’re talking about."

"You know exactly what I am talking about you brat! The money you gave me in exchange for the mine!"

Edward's eyes widened, and I held back a laugh. "But it says right here," he pulled out a piece of paper with Yoki's official seal on the bottom, "that you gave me the mine free of charge!"

"Why you…! Th-that contract is invalid. Barret, Emest! Seize that letter!" Yoki pointed imperiously at Edward, and we tensed, but...nothing happened. Yoki turned around angrily, only to have his words stuck in his throat. Barret and Emest stared at Yoki coldly, arms crossed over their chests and making no moves to assist him.

"You've lost," Barret said in his monotone voice. "Give it up."

"WHAT?" Yoki shouted angrily, "You have to obey me! I outrank you!"

The two glanced at each other before turning away as one. "I didn't see anything, did you?", Emest asked. 

"Nope," Barret grunted. The two formidable men walked away, leaving Yoki gaping in disbelief.

Before they got too far, Barret turned his head over his shoulder to regard me, grey eyes inscrutable. He lifted his hand in farewell, two fingers together in a casual salute. I blinked in surprise, familiarity tickling the back of my mind. That gesture looked just like something Orkan used to always do. I smiled slightly. Maybe those two weren't so bad after all. I waved back and Edward looked over at me curiously. I shrugged.

Yoki backed away nervously as the miners closed in on him, cracking their knuckles threateningly. "They aren't going to kill him are they?", Alphonse asked, a little uncertainly.

"Nah," Holling answered with a devious smile, "they're just going to have some well deserved fun. Now," he clapped his hands together. "I think this is cause for a celebration! Drinks all around!" Everyone cheered around us, and we were ushered into the newly created bar. 

Of course, there weren’t any supplies left. Or furniture. Alchemy couldn’t exactly recreate everything. But with a combined effort of the entire town, and a few more alchemical reactions later, we had enough seats and food and drink for the whole lot of us.

We celebrated late into the night, the men surrounding the three of us and pushing drinks into our hands, singing exuberantly. Ed pushed the alcohol away with a laugh, while Alphonse did the same shyly beside him. I tried to accept them, but Ed slapped them away from my hands.

"What's the big idea?", I pouted.

"You're younger than I am," Ed shouted, "You shouldn't be drinking! Besides, I am not carrying your drunk ass up the stairs later!" Everyone guffawed loudly at my dumbstruck expression and patted me on the back.

I stuck out my lower lip absurdly and crossed my arms. "Fine, have it your way for now. Who wants a Bloody Hell?", I shouted, jumping up. The miners raised their glasses with a cheer.

-o0o-

We left Youswell the next morning. I stared thoughtfully out of the train window, watching the countryside fly by as the boys chatted beside me.

"So where are we headed to next?", Al asked.

"I called Mustang before we left. It looks like our next stop is a city called Lior. The colonel said we need to investigate a priest that has just risen in power there. Apparently, he can use alchemy without having to abide by the Law of Equivalent Exchange." Ed said, leaning back against the window lazily.

"Do you think it's true?"

"Nah, probably not. Still, if it's somehow true, his secret might be what we need to get our bodies back. But I'm not going to get too excited just yet. It's probably just a bunch of parlor tricks or second rate alchemy."

"Oh…"

"Hey guys," I interrupted, looking down at my lap and picking at the bandages that covered my hand. Butterflies flitted about in my stomach, dread settling into the back of my throat uncomfortably. But I had to do this. "I have something I want to talk to you about."

"What is it?", Ed asked, glancing over. At my serious expression, both the boys spun around to face me fully.

I looked into their eyes grimly. "I need to tell you what happened that night Tucker tried to turn me into a chimera."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: We learn a bit more about Soul's Directive and Alex's past. Oh and Alex has an unexpected encounter. Thanks to everyone who given me feedback or just plain read this story all the way through. You guys make it worth it. See you next time!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys contemplate the events in Tucker's lab, and Alex has an unexpected encounter

The silence was thick around us as the train traveled over the country lands between cities. I had my leg pulled to my chest, an arm wrapped around it and my forehead resting on my knee. I stared into the passing scenery, avoiding my two companions' eyes.

I told them everything. Everything that happened and all that Shou Tucker had told me. The memories were like brands behind my eyes, almost physically painful. Reliving the experience made me feel vulnerable and raw, and I hated it.

Edward sat stock still in his seat, face turned downward and his golden eyes flickering back and forth rapidly, as if doing swift calculations. He clutched his hands in his lap and he had not moved since I had begun speaking. Similarly, Alphonse was just as unreadable, the large suit of armor staring off into space. I desperately wanted to brush my hand against him to see what he was feeling, but I was also afraid of what I would find. So I sat and waited for the brothers to speak, tension building in my body as every second passed slowly by.

"Was Tucker right?" I asked eventually, tired of the silence.

Edward didn’t respond, but Alphonse seemed to snap out of his contemplations and focus on me. "It's hard to say," he said calmly, assuming the voice he would use when he tried to explain concepts to me. "The transmutation circle is just a tool; equations to identify, disassemble, and redirect energy to reassemble. In order to create something with a form, after understanding a certain composition an alchemist must be able to visualize the form they are creating, otherwise the transmutation will fail. Circles can be used to a certain extent, such as if I wanted to create a block of ice out of a tub of water. In that case, visualization is not strictly necessary, since I basically want to convert a raw element. However, if I wanted to make that block of ice into an ice swan, I would have to visualize my intent, or I would just end up with a formless pile of ice."

"Ok, I think I understand," I said slowly. "It's just like an artist creating a sculpture out of copper. He starts with the equation of pure copper and heat, but if he doesn't know what he is going to create, he'll always just have copper."

"Right," Alphonse continued. "This process is called 'visualization', or 'Soul's Directive', as Tucker called it. Most run-of-the-mill alchemists are incapable of doing it, just preferring to use Alchemy to convert raw substances such as ice, wind, or earth. In most theories, the visualization stage happens during the understanding stage. You have to hold the image of what you want in your head throughout the entire transmutation, or it may end up being the shapeless materials you were converting."

"Ok…so when Tucker said that Ed's 'Soul's Directive' changed…"

"He probably means that sometime during the deconstruction phase when I disappeared, Ed lost concentration on our mother and instead focused entirely on me."

I frowned. "That doesn't really make sense though. If he was focusing on you, shouldn't _your_ soul have been taken immediately into the new body instead of mine?"

"Not necessarily," Ed finally spoke up, although he still stared intently at his hands. "What Tucker said might be a good theory on what happened. Alphonse's soul might not have disappeared completely in time to attach to the new body."

"So does that mean," I said slowly, "that if you had kept your concentration, you really would have recalled Trisha's soul and Al would have just disappeared?"

Ed shook his head. "No. I truly believe now that death is permanent. She's never coming back." He paused thoughtfully. "There is a lot of this that we still don't know. Like; if you are the thing we created, how is it that you look like Alphonse three days after the transmutation? And where did your soul come from? What really happened to Alphonse's body? It seems like the more we learn, the farther we get away from what actually happened."

My head thunked back against the hard train bench and I let out a heavy sigh, thoughts whirling. I was almost sorry I brought this up, seeing as it only created more questions than it answered.

"Brother," Alphonse spoke up, "if we say this theory is correct, and that Alex is the result of the transmutation, then how does that explain our strange link? We thought it was because my soul was attracted to my original body, but if Alex isn't actually in my body…"

"AAaaaah," Ed suddenly yelled, scrubbing at his head in irritation, "I don't know! There are just too many variables that we don't know right now!"

A heavy silence fell over all of us as we each sank into our own thoughts. There were so many things I wanted to know, but Edward was right. We just didn't have enough information to go on right now. Still, there was one thing that sat in the forefront of my mind, weighing down my thoughts with a dark shadow. Was I even human?

"Leaving that aside," Alphonse said, breaking the tense silence, "you mentioned that you were rescued by a mysterious woman?"

"…Right," I mumbled, pushing aside my other thoughts for the moment. I tried to remember the details of that encounter, but it was difficult. I had been so distraught and in so much pain at the time that it was like trying to see the memory through a black and white television with bad reception. "She was tall and pale as the moon, and very beautiful," I recalled. Oddly enough, the image of her face was burned into my mind like a brand, though I couldn't remember much else. "She spoke, but I honestly don't remember wha she said. She pulled the knife out of my hand, and I ran at the first opportunity."

"Why would she help you though, or even know you were in danger?", Ed asked, eyes narrowed. I shrugged. I really didn't have any answers in that regard.

"She might have been watching Tucker. Might have been watching me. Who knows? For right now, I don't think she's our enemy, at the very least."

"Maybe," Al said, "She did save you after all."

"I don't like it," Ed said, staring out the window with his arms crossed. "I don't believe in random chance. No one ever does something for nothing. Just…be careful, alright?"

I nodded in agreement, although I wasn't even sure I would ever see her again. We fell back into silence as the countryside flew swiftly by.

-o0o-

It took us three days to get to Lior. Well, it would have taken a few hours less if _someone_ hadn't chased off the cab driver for calling him short. The stretch between Youswell and Lior changed drastically in our first day of travel, going from rolling plains to a scorching desert in the span of six hours. The train actually stopped about half way there, and it was explained to us that they could not build tracks in the shifting sands, and thus would have to take a taxi the rest of the way. Which would have been fine if a certain blond didn't have the temper of a five year old. I wondered how much of that was Edward's personality and how much he had picked up from Izumi. I shuddered at the thought.

Which leads us to my current predicament. "It's so hoooooot." I complained for the sixth time. We had been walking in the desert heat for half an hour, and I was already completely tired from trudging through the deep sands. Oh, this was the epitome of discomfort. I had sand in my shoes rubbing my feet raw, I was sweating like a pig in the intense heat, and I was pretty sure we had run out of water an hour ago.

"Shadup!" Ed griped in front of me, looking if possible even more uncomfortable as I was. "At least you aren't half made out of metal! Do you have any idea how hot this stuff gets?" Ed slumped his shoulders dramatically, and I patted him in sympathy. He had a fair point. Because of his automail, he had to stay completely covered in this heat, whereas I had taken off my jacket and put it over my head for shade immediately upon entering the desert. I was careful not to let my exposed shoulders get too much sun, but if we had to stay in this desert for much longer, I would have some serious sunburns to deal with.

"Look, there it is," Al exclaimed from a few paces behind us, pointing in the direction we were walking. Ed and I squinted through the heat waves and over the dunes. Vaguely, we could make out a tall white building in the distance. I smiled in elation. We were almost there!

"Finally," Ed shouted, suddenly running forward with a burst of energy. It still took us another half hour to reach the city, but soon enough the soft sand below us turned to sturdy cobble stone and narrow streets. We gratefully moved under the shaded walkways of Lior.

Unlike Central, the streets in Lior were not built for cars or buggies, but were narrow for foot traffic and carts. Every building had at least three stories, and from what I could tell from my vantage point, the higher floors were for living quarters, while the first floors held shops and restaurants. The architecture was different from Central as well. It was simpler, save for a massive building in the center of the centrally planned city, which looked like a giant church and loomed over all other buildings.

The farther in we walked, I began to notice that on every other street corner, there was a statue of a man holding a staff with an illuminating sun on the top. If I had to guess, it would be a messiah or saint of some sort. A clearly religious society, then.

We finally stopped at a small café, which jutted out into the street on the edge of a plaza. Gratefully, I sat to relieve my aching feet and rested my head on the stone counter. It was cool and soothed my heated and no doubt sunburnt face.

"Hello there, nice to see some new faces," an old man, the shopkeeper, stepped up to the counter and greeted us with a big smile underneath an impressive mustache. "What can I get you folks?"

"Cold water and whatever you have for a special today, please," I said, not even lifting my head from the cold counter top.

"You got it. What about you, son?"

"Three glasses of ice water and whatever he's having," Ed grunted, lifting his heavy coat off his shoulders now that we were finally in the shade. The man gave Ed an odd look, but brought him the glasses he requested. Immediately, Edward grabbed the closest glass of water and poured it over his automail arm, then sighed in relief as steam drifted off the metal appendage and cooled it down. He did the same with his leg, before taking the last glass and guzzling it down greedily. The shopkeeper looked on curiously but did not comment, merely bringing us our food, a simple bread roll and assorted cheeses and fruits.

As we ate, people began gathering around the booth. I looked around, slightly nervous, before realizing that none of them were really paying any attention to us.

"Time for a little soul food," the old man said, lifting his hand and flipping a switch above the counter where an old radio sat. Soothing notes drifted out of the radio, sounding vaguely like elevator music. I looked around as it echoed strangely, and I realized that every building along the street had similar radios or speakers that played the same channel.

A voice began speaking from the radios. "Children of God upon the earth, as sun lights the day, so does the Sun God Leto illuminate thy path, and drown thy sorrows…" a man said, his voice soothing and hypnotic. The rhetoric continued, and Ed looked a bit disgusted.

"Well, that's freakish," Ed said, turning back to his drink.

"Sounds like some kind of religious broadcast," Al said, turning back as well.

"What?", the shopkeeper exclaimed, offended. "Your buddy wears a suit of armor and you wear a coat and gloves in the desert and you call _us_ freaks? What's up with you guys anyway, you street performers or something?"

Ed spat out the water he was drinking and looked at the man in disbelief. "I don't think so, pops, do I look like a clown to you?" I snorted into my drink and Ed sent me a glare.

"Well you must have some reason for traveling out this far."

"We're just looking for something, that's all," Ed said, sipping his drink lazily.

"So who is this guy, anyway?", I asked, observing the people around us with distinct discomfort. Every person in my view was still, hands folded and heads bowed as the speaker projected the sermon.

The shopkeeper leaned forward and placed his hands on the counter in disbelief. "You mean you've never heard of the Great Prophet Cornello?"

"Erm, no…" I said, leaning back slightly.

"What's so great about him, anyway?" Edward instantly regretted asking as the crowd of people gathered around us and began singing the man praises. He shifted irritably as one man got into his personal space.

"He can perform miracles, for one thing," the man said.

"He brought this desert town back from the brink of famine," another piped in.

"And he can even forgive sins!"

"You know what," Edward interrupted the zealous shouting, "we just remembered we have to be somewhere. You ready to go guys?" He stood and looked over to us with a long-suffering expression.

I frowned regretfully at my unfinished food and sighed, standing up. I agreed that we should leave though. I had never been comfortable around people with such strong beliefs in a God. You just never knew what would happen if you got into a difference of opinion in such a crowd, and just like Edward, I had no desire to find out.

"Excuse me sir," I said, as my brothers started to fight through the throng. The shopkeeper raised a brow. "Do you have any idea where a few weary travelers can stay for the night?"

"Hm…well, if you are short on funds, you can stay at the church." He grinned widely. "Our church has a large pilgrim's quarters for travelers such as yourself."

"Is that right…?", I said a little doubtfully. "What do we have to do in order to be allowed to stay there?"

"Nothing, nothing, you just have to pay your respects to the God Leto with a small offering. It could be anything from fixing a part of the church or providing food for a service."

Well, that doesn't sound too hard. With alchemy, we could do pretty much anything as payment. I gave the man a grateful smile and paid for our food before catching up with Ed and Al.

"Wait, guys," I shouted. They were already a ways ahead of me. Ed tapped his foot impatiently, clearly done with this day.

I was within a few yards of them when something caught my attention from the corner of my eye. I paused and looked around at the people milling about the street, trying to see through the crowd what had piqued my interest. There was a woman walking away from us, her hood pulled low over her face. Waving black hair peeked out of the hood in the breeze, and my mind sparked in recognition. It couldn't be…

"Alex," Ed growled irritably, "what's the hold up?"

…Nah, probably not. I shook my head and walked the rest of the way to the two boys. "I think I've found us some lodgings for the night."

"Really, where?" Al said, tilting his head.

"There's a pilgrim's quarters at the church in town. That old man said we could stay there for free, as long as we fixed something in the church."

"Fixed something, huh? Well that sounds pretty easy. Let's go," Ed spun around and headed towards the large building at the center of town, eager to be out of the desert heat and to find some rest.

-o0o-

The church really was massive, standing at least twenty stories higher than the other buildings in the city. The white monolith was easily the tallest building I had seen since coming to Amestris. Spires jutted out gracefully from the main body of the church, and arches decorated every doorway with carved images of their idol. At the grand double doors a man in black robes greeted us, and when we explained why we were there, led us through a long hallway of white painted walls and wooden doors. At the end, he directed us to a plain door with a promise to return when the next morning's ceremonies began.

Edward grimaced in distaste at that, tempted to tell him not to bother, no doubt. The room we were appointed was simple, only holding four beds and storage trunks at the end. Evening light filtered into the room from a small window at the far side, bathing everything in a golden glow.

"Ugh," Ed groaned, flopping back on the closest bed and dumping his coat and travel bag on the floor. "Finally! I'm exhausted."

Alphonse sighed and picked up Edward's mess off the floor and placed it on top of the trunk at the foot of his bed. "Try not to trash the place, Brother, we don't want to get thrown out."

"You're such a clean freak, Al," I chuckled, placing my own bag at the foot of the bed next to Edward's.

"I am not!" Al crossed his arms with a clank. "I just like things to be tidy, that's all."

"Shaddup, you two, I need to sleep!"

"It's only, like, seven, Ed. What are you, an old man?"

"It's hot…the desert…sleepy," Ed mumbled, nodding off even as he spoke.

"Heh, he's already asleep," Al said, giggling. I snorted in amusement and began unwrapping my hand. I grimaced in disgust as the soaked bands came off and inspected my wound. It was healing nicely. The cut was knitting together, even though my palm was a bit pruned from sweat. I was able to move it a bit more now, although it still might be a while before I would be able to use it fully again. The numbed skin around the damaged nerves prickled uncomfortably.

"I think you might be able to remove the stitches now," Al commented, coming to my side. I nodded in agreement. They were coming loose in any case, and it looked like as long as I didn't put my hand through too much stress, the scar tissue would hold without assistance.

"Do you want me to do it?", Al asked, a little nervous.

I smiled at him, "No that's alright. I think I'll go ask around and see if there is a doctor anywhere near here. If there is, I'll see if I can visit him in the morning."

"Ok," Al huffed, relieved. I laughed at his clear discomfort, patting him gratefully on the arm for offering, before grabbing my jacket and heading for the door.

"I'll be back in a little while. Do you mind washing my wrap for me?"

"Sure."

I wandered down the white halls of the church. Night was falling, and the only light illuminating the hallways came from smokeless torches. I wondered idly why a society that clearly had electricity would still be using those, but then I figured that this building might have been around way before that technology was invented. Or maybe they just liked them. Who knew?

The halls were empty and silent, and I hoped that not everyone had gone home for the night. Eventually, I came upon a small grotto emitting the soft flicker of candles. I walked inside to find a quaint little chapel, an idol sitting at the back with stained glass windows behind it. The pews were empty, though it was clear that someone had been there recently. I turned around to leave, thinking that I might catch up to whoever it was, when I stopped short.

I froze as a figure made itself known from the shadows, stepping out to block the doorway. My heart jumped in fright as I stepped back defensively, but a small, effeminate laugh had me relaxing. I cursed myself as I stood up. I was getting paranoid in this crazy world. If I wasn’t careful I’d end up a jumpy mess.

"Well, hello there. Long time no see." She stood tall, at least a few inches taller than my 5’4”, though it might have been the heels. How she wore those in a desert, I would never know. Her long black hair and eyes gleamed softly in the candlelight, red violet like the most savory of red wines. Familiar. Unmistakeable.

"It's you," I said, startled. I _thought_ I had seen her in town earlier. It was the woman, the one who saved me from–Memories of that night flashed behind my eyes, and I shuddered, banishing them with a force of will. Because of that, my next words might have come out a little harsher than intended. "What are you doing here?"

A quirk of painted lips. "I'm here on business," she said in her sultry way, and I hadn’t realized until that moment how much that voice had haunted me. Get ahold of yourself Alex... She stepped forward into the room, and I took a step back. She paused, bowed lips pouting prettily. "Now don't be like that, I'm not going to bite you."

"Come on, you know you want to," I joked, trying to ease my nervousness. I didn't know why I was feeling so on edge when this woman had never given me any reason to fear her. She had killed Shou Tucker in cold blood, yes, but in doing so, she saved my life. I shuddered at the memory of his lifeless body smacking the floor, eyeing her hands wearily. Well….maybe she had given me a _little_ reason to fear her...

The seductress covered her mouth and giggled disarmingly at my words, and I felt some of my tension ease. I smiled, relaxing. "I want to thank you for saving me the last time we met," I said. The woman bowed slightly in recognition of my gratitude. "Just one thing, though. How did you know I was in trouble?"

She gave me a shrewd look, seeming to contemplate whether she should answer my question. Eventually she spoke. "I had been watching Tucker for years. He had the potential to create something I'm interested in, but he veered from the path by trying to make you into a chimera. I came in as soon as I realized what was happening."

I furrowed my brow. "The potential to create something…?"

She shook her head, placating expression on her face. "I have found someone more suitable since then." The woman’s eyes scanned me slowly, and I shifted beneath her gaze. For several moments we were silent, and I scrambled to think of something, anything, to break this awkwardness I could feel creeping up on me, when her brow crinkled in concern. "You are still hurt."

I lifted my hand and glanced at my wound, distracted by her change in subject. I had forgotten that it was no longer wrapped, and the night air felt cold over my usually covered appendage. "Oh…yeah, it should still take a while for it to heal…"

"Would you like me to heal it for you?"

My head jerked up in surprise. "You can do that?"

She smiled sweetly. "Yes, and I can even remove the scar, if you'd like." My first thought was that it was totally ridiculous. Healing powers? But then, who was I to judge what was and wasn't possible, when I was literally a soul in a body created by magic? While I contemplated this, the woman moved slowly forward. I sidled back half a step, caught off guard as she suddenly invaded my personal space. She lifted a small pouch from her cloak and dumped the contents into her hand.

"What's that?", I asked suspiciously. It looked like a pile of small rubies, shining softly in the flickering light.

"It's a product of alchemy that can energize and heal the wounds of certain people," the woman said, looking at the small lumps fondly. "If you eat some of them, I'm sure your wound will be healed."

"Erm…my older brother told me never to take candy from strangers," I quipped, raising my eyebrow. Did she really expect me to eat them just like that?

She giggled, "Don't worry, it's perfectly safe. Here look." With her other hand, the tall woman cut a small incision with her nail. I jerked forward with a gasp to stop her, but the damage was already done. Immediately, blood welled to the surface of her skin, dripping slugishly down the side of her arm. When I looked into her eyes in concern, she only smiled serenely, reassuringly. She then took one of the small ruby-like pieces and popped it in her mouth.

The room filled with crimson light and I jumped, eyes locking on the wound. It sparked and crackled and, a few seconds later, the edges of her torn skin writhed and closed right before my disbelieving eyes, not even a trace of blood remaining.

"Incredible," I breathed, heart pounding loudly in my ears. "And there are no ill effects?"

"No, it is merely an energy source that accelerates the healing process in certain people. Try one?" She extended her hand, and I cautiously took a small lump from her.

It was cool to the touch, and felt like a bead of glass. I looked between her and the red bead, considering. This woman saved my life, and didn't seem to mean me any harm. She had even eaten one in front of me. I glanced down at my hand, taking in the nasty roped scar that was forming in place of the wound. Letting it heal on it's own would take months, and even then, it might not ever work the same, not with the damaged nerves that prevented me from moving quite right. I thought of all of the danger I’d already faced, how much harder it would be to continue on partly crippled. Not only that, but looking at it made me sick to my stomach, reminded me of those horrid, soulless eyes of Tucker. Its very presence on my skin was violating, and I wished it gone with a surge of passion that surprised me.

I nodded my head, and brought the ruby bead to my lips. Before it could make contact, my eyes flicked up to her’s one last time. I froze.

Red violet orbs stared hungrily, suddenly sharp in their intensity. Immediately, my chest rushed with adrenaline, a heady rush of warning that brought my brows together in alarmed confusion. She grinned, teeth gleaming sharp and white, and suddenly I felt as though trapped beneath the gaze of a predator, instincts screaming at me to run.

I’d only just twitched, tensing to do just that, when I smelled it.

A sweet, tingling aroma tickled my senses and a tension of a different kind filled me all at once, dizzying in its abruptness. I completely dismissed the woman in front of me with a deep inhale, pupils blown wide as I searched for the source. I stared at the lump of crimson between my fingers in shock as an intense, gnawing _want_ made my entire body shudder.

Ears roaring, there was no more hesitation before my hand brought it to slip past my lips.

Bright red light, the sweet falling sensation of a craving I didn’t even know I _had_ being met, an itch being scratched to that awful, _addicting_ , agony of oversensitivity, filling my veins with liquid fire.

The world went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, that was a little cruel to leave it there. I couldn't resist. Not sorry. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed! Next time: Ed and Al are not happy, Alex is annoyed but contrite, and Ed reveals a possible way forward.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad Alex.

Alphonse watched his adopted brother slip on his jacket and head for the door.

"I'll be back in a little while. Do you mind washing my wrap for me?", Alex said, glancing back over his shoulder at Alphonse. The younger boy paused thoughtfully, examining Alex’s face. Still flushed from the heat, but he didn’t look as tired as Edward, who already snored away the evening. Still, Alphonse didn’t really feel comfortable about letting him go off on his own. It hadn’t been long since Alex revealed what happened in Central, and even though they dropped the subject, there was still a distinct uneasiness in his emerald eyes that Alphonse didn’t like, not one bit.

Alphonse had wanted to comfort him, to tell him it didn’t matter what he was. But how could he, when he didn’t believe it about himself?

Alex waited patiently for an answer, and Al pulled himself out of his dark thoughts. "Sure," he agreed easily. After all, no matter how much he worried, he didn’t really think he needed to hover over Alex. He, out of the three of them, had been taking care of himself the longest.

The door clicked quietly shut and Al sighed, looking down at the sweat soaked bandages in his hand, a little miffed at the soiled state of them. Alex might have been the oldest of them–and Al would always remember that he was a decade older than them, because sometimes, when no one was looking, Alex had this look in his eyes beyond his youthful face–he really wished Alex would take care of that wound a little better. Letting it get soaked like that can't be good for a healing injury. He was just relieved there was no blood or pus on it to indicate infection. That’s the last thing any of them needed.

The suit of armor walked over to the end of the room where a narrow door led to a bathroom. Inside there was a small alcove with an indention in the floor meant for bathing, a sink and a toilet.

He squeezed through the door into the small space, not for the first time resenting his large size. His broad spiked shoulders clanked against the walls as he quickly filled a basin with water and backed out of the room. As he did so, his head hit the top of the doorframe and nearly knocked his helmet off. He dropped the full water basin in surprise and snatched his helmet before it could hit the ground.

The water basin fell heavily onto the floor with a distressing clatter, water soaking the tiles. Alphonse groaned as helpless frustration welled up in him, stinging his soul and dimming his eyes. With exaggerated carefulness, he placed his head back on his shoulders and glanced over at his sleeping brother, making sure he hadn’t disturbed him. Edward lay right where he left him, on his back with his arms spread-eagled and mouth hanging open, snoring softly. Relief filled him, only to be just as easily replaced with jealousy of Ed's sleeping form.

He looked back to the floor at the pool of water at his feet. In the dimming light, he could see his image staring back at him with glowing red eyes.

He remembered when he had first awoken in this body. It was not a gentle awakening, like slipping out of a slumber after a long night's sleep. Not even like the violence of waking from a nightmare, heart pounding and sweating in the dark.

No, waking in the armor for the first time was like flipping on a light switch, instant and bright. With no preamble, he began processing information, could see perfectly clearly even through the dimness of the room. And though he saw the nightmare of his reality with perfect clarity, there was nothing but the horror and absolute numbness he’s become familiar with since.

There lay his older brother, covered in blood, and missing his limbs. And though Al’s soul cried out in agony, Alphonse felt nothing to indicate that he was even alive. Just a spectre, a cadaver in a hollow shell.

Even to this day, Alphonse was a little jealous of Edward’s fate over his own. Despite the agony he must have been in, at least he could _feel._

But nothing compared with the agony that creature must have been in. _Alex,_ his mind supplied, that had been Alex. Had Alphonse a body, he would have shuddered at the memory.

When he looked away from the wreck of Edward’s body, towards the center of the transmutation circle they had so carefully drawn together with hope in their naive hearts, Alphonse witnessed Hell for the first time.

What reached for him was not his mother, soft and sweet and loving, but a long, malformed hand attached to a convulsing facsimile of life. Ribs and bone jutted out of blackened flesh and contorted limbs, twitching with grotesque jerks and glistening gore. What horrified Alphonse the most, though, were its eyes. Its ravaged head twisted upside down, lipless mouth wide open in a silent scream of agony and misery, and white, dead eyes stared at the displaced boy in accusation.

Alphonse ran. He gathered up his brother–wrecked, bleeding, apologizing incessantly–and brought him to Pinako’s.

It was only later that Alphonse truly realized the damage they had done to him. His true body was completely gone, and his new shell was an unfeeling mass of metal. That first night, as he sat alone while Pinako tried desperately to save his brother's life, Alphonse had explored himself, and despaired. He could feel nothing. The armor trembled in response to his fear, but he could not feel the usual rush of adrenaline or the pounding of his heart. He could feel grief, but no matter how much he wished he could, he could not cry. He had wanted desperately to shut down his mind and escape, but he could not sleep, or even block out his vision.

Trapped.

Alphonse shook his head suddenly, coming back to the present with a jerk. Where had all those dark thoughts come from?

He turned from his reflection and grabbed a towel from the linen closet to begin to clean up his mess. _It hasn't been all that bad,_ he tried to think positively. After all, they may have lost Alphonse's body and half of Edward's, but Alex was a result. It truly was baffling how that scary thing they created had become a carbon copy of Alphonse's body, but although at first Al felt nothing but resentment, he came to accept it and even came to love Alex as his own person.

He was glad that Alex did not remember that night, and he hoped he never would.

Alex truly had been a balm to Alphonse's damaged heart. Although they’d unintentionally torn him away from his original existence, Alphonse felt that the boy had truly saved him and his brother from complete despair. As if always meant to be, Alex easily fit into the bond between Alphonse and Edward and together they motivated each other to be better than they were, and to keep moving forward. They all had one goal in mind: to make right what had been destroyed, and return to normal.

Al finished cleaning the floor and placed the towel in the washbasin. He walked slowly over to his slumbering brother who had curled into himself, chilled. Alphonse could not tell what temperature it was without Alex's help, but he remembered that nights in the desert tended to be cold, and the window was open to the elements. He pulled a blanket over the huddled lump of red and gold, and Ed's tense face relaxed as his body loosened.

Alphonse pulled back, satisfied, and grabbed some of the dirty traveling clothes from both Edward's and Alex's bags and began to wash them diligently. The strange bond between Alex and himself had also been an incredible help in Alphonse's adjustment to his new existence. When he first realized that he could feel again after three days of not being able to feel anything at all, the boy had been overjoyed and had desperately sought Alex's company, despite the discomfort of sharing his every emotion with not only a stranger, but also a stranger that had seemingly commandeered his own body. He had clung to him, even though he knew that Alex was not comfortable with the contact. But still, Alex had been kind and compassionate, allowing Alphonse this. In a way, that initial contact had been what had allowed the displaced boy to adjust to his new body, and when Alex left to find a teacher, he was sad but no longer drowning. Since then, Alphonse and Alex had struck a balance between privacy and bond, and Al treasured that connection dearly. When the day finally came to let him go, Alphonse wondered if he would be able to do it. Now, it would be just as devastating as losing Edward, the only family he had left.

But no, that was selfish of him. They would find a way to get Edward's limbs back and end the horrible pain and stress that the automail put him through, and Alex would be sent back to his home where he belonged. Alphonse would make sure of it.

Scarred leather hands delicately hung up the clothes on a clothes line strung across the window, shortly joined by the bandages to flutter in the arid breeze. Speaking of Alex, he had been gone for quite some time, at least an hour. He began to worry. Al glanced between his sleeping brother and the door, wondering if he should wake him and go look for their missing companion. He decided against it and left Edward alone, thinking that it might be nothing. He would go search on his own.

Al strode down the hallway, having no trouble seeing in the flickering light of the torches. He walked past a small grotto, and paused as dim candlelight reflected off his metal face. He entered the small chapel.

"Honestly," Alphonse said fondly, spotting the sleeping form of Alex huddled on one of the benches, "Trying to keep track of you two is like trying to herd cats." The boy was laying flat on his back, mouth open and blond hair falling in his eyes, looking almost identical to Edward in his sleep. He was covered in a brown traveling cloak that Alphonse did not recognize, and he wondered if one of the dedicates had left it on him when they found him snoozing there. Al would have to express his thanks later.

Alphonse, careful of his sharp edges and superior strength, bundled Alex in his arms and walked slowly back to their room. Alex’s peaceful emotions fluttered through their bond like the softest of content caresses, and if Al could have, he would have smiled.

-o0o-

Utter contentment. The kind of bone deep satisfaction that only comes from the endorphin rush of a good long run on a spring day, that lovely sensation of eating your favorite foods to your heart’s desire, the sleepy serenity after a good orgasm. I shifted against the soft surface beneath me with a small smile, practically nuzzling into the covers. Every brush of skin against the warm cocoon around me had me sighing in bliss.

It had been a long, long time since I’d felt this good.

The question of why wasn’t even something I could ever explain, or probably even understand really. I hadn’t been unhappy, or uncomfortable until now, per se. It was more like...I had been experiencing a steadily increasing pressure? Or maybe like a headache building so slowly over the years that I didn’t even notice I was in pain until it was gone?

Whatever the case, I was feeling more at ease than I had in _forever_ , and I wasn’t going to squander it by thinking too hard on why. Wasn’t even capable of it yet, really, the muggy warmth of sleep still tugging at my mind insistently with the promise of slipping back into a pleasant dream. A niggling of a memory tickled my mind and pulled at the corner of my lips, a little bit of my contentment slipping away as my brain tried to reboot, but the pleasant buzz of my brothers’ voices somewhere nearby had me relaxing again, frown easing once more into a lackadaisical smile.

Safe.

As I slowly woke, words started to register and I lazily tuned into my brothers’ conversation.

“...running out of oil again,” Edward mumbled sleepily, the metallic sound of his automail care kit clicking somewhere behind me.

“No,” Alphonse said just as quietly. “I have a spare bottle in here.” The sound of his chestplate opening. Some shuffling. Edward’s incoherent grumbles.

I laughed breathily, sitting up with a jaw cracking yawn. I shivered as the blanket fell off my shoulders and blinked blearily. Soft purple light filled the room, the sun not even risen past the buildings surrounding the church, and the desert chill still clung to the air. Alphonse sat in a chair in the corner, dog-earing a page in a book I didn’t even know he had. Edward clumsily fussed with his arm, eyes half mast and clearly still half asleep. The urge to get up and cuddle him to death was as sudden as it was strong, but I felt too lazy to actually do it, a grin spreading over my face instead. “Mornin’.”

Edward barely glanced in my direction, wincing as if blinded by my good mood. “Barely,” he grumbled crankily.

“Hey, you woke up before I did.”

“That’s only because he fell asleep at seven like an old man,” Alphonse said blandly, turning another page in his book.

“Wha-hey! I was tired, okay?”  

“Besides,” Al continued as if he hadn’t spoken, “He wasn’t the only one. I found you asleep in a chapel down the hall. Couldn’t even make it back to bed.”

What. “What?”

“Pft,” Edward chuckled, not catching onto my sudden unease. “Whatever. I’m going to take a bath. I feel disgusting after wandering around in that damn desert.” The bathroom door closed softly behind him.

A few minutes passed as I sat still, frown tugging at the corners of my mouth, unseeing. I fell asleep somewhere else? I tried to remember the day before, and only got so far as arriving to this room before things got hazy. An uncomfortable shiver ran up and down my spine, but I couldn’t quite grasp the thought that caused it. A phantom of red light had me jerking, blinking rapidly.

“Hey Al–” But I must have said it too quietly, because he spoke over me, red orbs of light not leaving the reading material in his lap.

“You should have a bath, too,” he said absently, distractedly. “I washed your clothes last night after I brought you back. They’re hanging out the window with your hand wrap.”

“Ah, thanks, I–” I paused, noticing for the first time the unfamiliar brown cloth covering my arms. The sleeves were so long they slipped a few inches past my hands. “What’s this?”

“Oh, someone left that on you before I found you in the chapel. You should probably return it before we leave.” He paused, finally looking up. “Alex? Are you alright?”

I didn’t answer. A slow pull of dread settled into my stomach as I stared unseeingly down at the brown cloth. Memories, stilted and vague, flittered in and out of reach. Long black hair, the touch of frigid skin. A shark-like smile. A flash of red.

That mind numbing, addictive pleasure the likes of which I never felt before.

Then nothing.

“Alex?” Alphonse started to sound a little more than concerned at my continued silence, and I didn't know what type of face I made, but it couldn’t have been pleasant.

Slowly, I pulled the brown sleeve away from my hand, exposing it to the cold morning light. My harsh gasp had Alphonse scrambling to my side, metal boots clanking loudly in the quiet room.

“What? What is it? Did you hurt–” He froze.

I turned my hand over slowly, clenched my fingers. There was no pain. No pain, no unsettling numbness, no irritating itch. The short, jagged scar that had served as a constant, painful reminder of Tucker’s cruelty was completely gone, save for the small reddened holes where the stitches still pierced my skin.

"It's healed!"

“What’s what now?”, Edward asked, stepping out of the bathroom, fingers busily tugging his wet hair into a braid. He blinked in surprise to find us both hunched over my hand, looking for all the world like it was a snake about to bite. “What is it? Did you reopen it or–What the hell?!”

“Um.” I mumbled, no idea where to even start. Edward grabbed my hand roughly, turning it this way and that.

“Impossible…” His sharp golds bore into my face as if he could pull the answers right out of me. _“How?”_

“I–” I winced, memories coming back to me in full. “I ran into that woman who saved me from Tucker last night?”

“What!?” Both boys simultaneously shouted, loud enough for a flock of birds to burst from the roof across the street with startled screeches. I held my hand to my ear and tried to banish the sudden ringing.

"What do you mean, 'ran into her'? Are you saying she just _happened_ to be in Lior and just _happened_ to find you?", Ed demanded, clenching my hand hard enough to bruise.

"No! Yes…I don't know, she was just there ok?" I said frantically, trying to pry his metal fingers from mine. To my surprise, they peeled off easily despite how strongly he was holding me.

But Edward wouldn’t be distracted, or maybe he was so mad he didn’t notice. _“Just there?_ What did she want?!”

“I–” I swallowed, brow furrowing. “I’m not sure. She...she didn’t say, exactly.”

“And you didn’t think to ask? Oh, hi, mysterious woman _who is clearly stalking me_ , what brings you to Lior? Did Central not have enough psycho-alchemists for you to _murder?”_

Oh, now that was just insulting. I did not sound like that. “Okay, first of all, I did ask and she said she was here on business.” Edward scoffed. “And second of all, her murdering Tucker _saved my life_ , so I can’t exactly hold a grudge against her for that. Or did you forget that little detail?”

Edward opened his mouth hotly to retort, but Alphonse placed a calming hand on his shoulder, silencing him. "Tell us what happened," Alphonse said, placating. Ed crossed his arms, clearly incensed, and practically stood over me with a scowl.  I bristled, but willfully ignored him.

I thought back. "Well…I was looking for a doctor when I ran into her. We talked, and I thanked her for saving me," a pointed look at Edward. “Then when she saw my injury, she offered to heal it for me.”

"Heal it." Ed said skeptically.

"She ah–” Oh geez, this was going to sound bad. Suddenly questioning all of my life’s choices up to this point. “She gave me some little beads and said that they could heal wounds?"

Edward’s expression darkened thunderously. “Are you telling me,” he growled, “that some _clearly_ dangerous stranger offered you a _drug_ and you swallowed it without asking questions?”

And wow, the silence was suddenly stifling wasn’t it? Is it hot in here, or is it just my face burning in shame?

“Alex?” Long drawn out, I’m surprised he didn’t use my full name like a disappointed mother.

“Uh.”

“UNBELIEVABLE!”

“Hey, it wasn’t like that okay! She showed me on her own body that they worked. Besides, my hand is healed isn't it? Plus, I only ate one," I paused. "…I think."

"You THINK? You mean you don't remember?" Ed ground his teeth together.

"I…might have… blacked out after the first one…" I said meekly.

Edward shook his head in disbelief. He opened his mouth. Closed it. He looked _livid._ “ _Alexander Elric,_ ” yup there it was. I may or may not have cowered. “You let her _drug_ you. Do you– _It could have done anything to you!_ It could have been fucking _acid_ –I can’t _believe_ –” he fell silent, pinching the bridge of his nose in a clear bid for sanity.

“She ate one in front of me,” I repeated weakly, but I really didn’t have any solid defense. I know I screwed up.

“Don’t you think, oh I don’t know, _she might have been faking it?”_

Aaaand I really didn’t have a rebuttal for that. Except that she hadn’t been in the end. I don’t think that was Edward’s point, however.

He backed up and stood ramrod straight,  shoulders tight and golden eyes dead serious. "I'm only going to tell you this once, Alex. Stay away from that woman. She clearly wants something from you, and is even going so far as to _stalk_ you. She's dangerous, and the next time you see her, you will _run away_ and find one of us." He ground his teeth angrily. "I swear, every time you leave our sight you get into trouble. Do you really want another Tucker Incident?"

Okay, now I’m angry. My face contorted in anger, but Edward turned his back on me and strode to the door. "Alphonse, watch him. Don't let him out of your sight." He grabbed his jacket and walked out, shutting the door behind him with finality.

Ringing silence.

I gaped, indignant and more than a little whiplashed. Did he just–like I was some child who needed watching? Are you kidding me? "What the hell? Where does he get off, telling me what to do? I'm older than both of you _combined_ , and I can take care of myself!"

"Really?” Alphonse finally spoke, and I cringed at the quiet anger in his tone. Looked like my tongue lashing wasn’t over after all. Somehow, when I looked into those burning orbs, I couldn’t help but feel like this was going to be so much worse than Edward’s anger. This couldn’t get any worse. “You can take care of yourself? You should have come to one of us. Instead, you blindly trusted a woman you barely knew and just ate something she gave you. You're lucky to even be alive. If you’re such an ‘adult’ then _act like it."_ Despite his miffed tone, Alphonse gently picked up my hand and began pulling out the stitches one by one. Every thread pulled drew a small bead of blood, which he wiped away with an achingly gentle touch. I avoided his gaze with a vengeance, cringing from his blatant emotions of disapproval. I take it back. Feeling it from him was _so_ much worse than hearing it in his voice.

"Al, she saved my life. How can that be bad?"

Al didn’t even have a _face,_ and still the tilt of his head managed to thoroughly convey how stupid he thought that statement was. Damn, that’s talent. "You have no idea why she did it. For all you know, she could have wanted to kill Tucker because of a grudge, and you just happened to be there. Besides, who do you trust more, her or us?" I hunched my shoulders, abashed. "We are just worried about you."

And there were so many responses I could have given to that, so many things I _should_ have said. I’m sorry for worrying you. Thank you. That means more to me than you could imagine. I love you too.

But like the ass I was, I only said, "I know."

"Promise you won't do this again."

"…Ok." Somehow though, I didn’t think this was the end of it. Not by a long shot.

Because whatever I was given hadn’t just healed me. I didn’t know what exactly it did do, but I knew something was different, had changed.

This is usually the point in the story where the hero says, ‘l have a bad feeling,’ and everything goes to hell. Internally wincing at the cliché, I just had to think it anyway, because I was pretty sure that’s exactly what was about to go down.

I have a bad feeling.

-o0o-

Edward didn’t return, and Al and I decided to search for him after a while, Al siting that he already had enough trouble from one brother for one day and he didn’t need Edward running into trouble too. I grimaced at the obvious reprimand, but had to agree that Edward was a trouble magnet of his own.

It didn’t take long before we ran into a huge crowd gathering in the courtyard, and it looked like half of Lior was attending a demonstration. We ended up crammed in the back, the press of bodies trapping us against a building.

“What’s going on?”, I asked a man beside us.

He blinked in surprise. “Father Cornello’s about to speak.” He moved away, excited.

I exchanged a look with Alphonse, who quickly swept his eyes over the heads of the crowd, easily taller than anyone here. “There’s an old man standing on a dias,” he described. “He looks like a preacher.”

“Isn’t that the guy we were sent here to observe?”

“Yes.” I jumped as Edward’s voice came from behind, but he avoided my gaze, obviously still angry.

A booming voice filtered over the crowd, but we could hardly hear over the raucous shouting of the people around us. Growling in frustration, Edward spied a crate and dragged it over, standing on it. I would have laughed, but I was pretty sure he would have ripped my throat out at that point. With his teeth. Besides, he had the right idea. Risking his ire, I pulled myself up beside him, using his shoulder for balance.

He didn’t push me off of him, but I could tell it was a close thing. But nah, he wouldn’t hurt me..right?

We still couldn’t hear, but at least now the both of us could see. An old, stout man stood at the platform above the crowd, gesturing widely with broad hands and an even broader grin. After a few minutes of muffled rhetoric, Cornello bent down and accepted a flower from a young girl. He held it in his hand, and in a flash of red light, the flower turned into a gleaming sculpture of crystal flowers that twisted around each other beautifully. The large man held his hands out in offering, and the crowd roared in approval.

"Brother, did you see that?", Al asked, excited.

"Yeah," Ed said. "There's no doubt about it. He's using alchemy."

"But somehow he's ignoring the law of equivalent exchange! He just transformed that flower into something that has way more mass. He shouldn't be able to do that."

"Yeah, and not only that, he just converted something of organic matter into inorganic matter."

"Ed, do you think he might have…"

"It's possible. Let's not get our hopes up just yet."

"What?", I interjected between their incomprehensible nerd talk. "What does he have? How is he doing that?"

Ed and Al exchanged one of those frustrating silent conversations that I still wasn’t able to ever quite pick up on. At my impatient sound, Al answered. "When you were unconscious a couple of weeks ago, we were given the task to catalogue all of Tucker's research."

"Tucker’s research?!" I spluttered, horrified.  "How could you touch that crazy bastard's work?"

"He might have been crazy," Ed said, "but he knew what he was doing. In his notes, we found a great deal of research on a powerful transmutation amplifier. It supposedly can be used to ignore the law of equivalent exchange." he looked back to where Cornello was still performing unbelievable transmutations with a spark of excitement in his golden eyes. "It's called the philosopher's stone, and if Cornello has one…we might be able to use it to get our bodies back."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hi readers. Did you enjoy Al’s perspective?
> 
> Rant: Okay, so I started to get a little frustrated with the English language. Iooked up whether or not I should capitalize ‘alchemy’, since, like ‘science’, it is generic. Easy enough, right? But like, then I looked up whether I should be capitalizing the ‘law of equivalent exchange’, like ‘Murphy's Law’ or something. And then I realized I might have to capitalize philosopher’s stone too, because it’s so specific. THEN, I found out that literally no-one can agree that any of these things need to be capitalized. After literally twenty minutes of research I was like FUCK IT NONE OF YOU GET CAPITAL LETTERS because so many proper nouns in one paragraph looks STUPID. Rant over.
> 
> I apologize to any grammar nazi’s (Is that supposed to be capitalized? Shit.) out there. But if you can tolerate my frequent spelling errors to get this far, then this should be cakewalk to ignore. Thanks.
> 
> Next Chapter: Breaking and entering is illegal? Whoops.
> 
> Also, look! No cliffhanger! You're welcome :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nefarious machinations and a conversation long overdue.

In a small chapel in the depths of the temple in Lior, two figures stood in the flickering glow of candlelight. The red gleam reflected off of the cherry wood pews and the stone idol that sat in the back, giving the room a haunting glow. One of the figures was a tall beautiful woman, her black hair waving delicately over shoulders pale as the moon. The other was a young boy, no older than thirteen, and his long blond hair gleamed golden in the candlelight. He stared down at a small red jewel in his hand, handsome brow furrowed in consideration as the woman watched on. If one were to happen upon the scene, it would appear that the hapless young boy was being seduced by the devil, the next movement bringing either salvation or calamity.  
  
The young man slowly brought the red stone to his lips, and Lust shuddered in anticipation. She had wondered when she saw the three boys in town earlier whether she would get the chance to set her plans in motion. The lure of the philosopher's stone had been the perfect bait, and just as she anticipated, Edward Elric had brought his brothers to Lior. The trap was set, and with any luck, Lust and her comrades' ambitions would be fulfilled, thanks to that talented alchemist.

And this boy as well. He would come to her side, just like the rest.  
  
He regarded her with unsure eyes, and Lust allowed her grin to sharpen, loving the way his pulse jumped in his neck and that startled inhale of breath. But it’s much too late for him to back out now, and Lust relished the dilation in his emerald eyes as he caught whiff of the stone in his hand. With a visible shudder, an audible gasp, he stared down at it in wonder before snatching it from his fingers with white teeth.  
  
He froze, the tangible flavor of power building in the air, raising his hair on end, becoming unbearably sharp until it reached its breaking point, overflowing. Red sparks burst from him in sparkling waves, and the young boy threw his head back with a strangled shout that morphed into a moan, hair falling back and his body arching in surprise. Lust tingled in remembered sensation, shifting through the heat in her blood. She knew the experience could be…overwhelming for those who were not used to it. That addicting rush of completion, of strength flowing through their veins, making them feel more alive than they ever could on their own, _powerful_...Oh yes, that rush was not so easily shaken, nor forgotten.

How he must have _starved_ while she made him wait for what he _needed._    
  
The boy shuddered once, twice, folding his arms around himself, lost in the heightened sensations of his skin. His sight shifted unfocused as he looked past the lavishly decorated ceiling. Slowly, he brought his eyes down to lock on Lust, green irises muddling in color until they settled into a bright purple, the color inducing in Lust a flush of smugness. His gaze zeroed in on the handful of red stones that Lust still held in her delicate gloved hand. They gleamed temptingly, and she saw the exact moment he broke.   
  
Lust smiled, exposing her teeth. "That's right, they’re all yours." She proffered her hand, and the boy moved forward immediately. He grabbed Lust by the waist and pulled her forward with his previously healed left hand, and with his right, he grasped the hand that held the stones and brought it to his mouth. Lust stroked the silky blond locks on the back of the boy's head while he pressed in as close as he could get, devouring the stones greedily from her palm. "That's it, eat to your heart’s content." They boy clung to her as each bite he took sent wave after wave of heat singing through his blood. When they were gone, he licked the hand, pink tongue tickling Lust's palm. She giggled.  
  
Another brilliant bout of red sparks emitted from the young man and he threw his head back again in ecstasy, body going rigid against her own, hands clutching at her in a desperate attempt to keep himself grounded. "Ah..agh…" He twitched, and with a shuddering moan, his eyes slipped back into his head and his legs gave out. Before he could hit the ground, Lust caught him around the waist, reveling in the exposed column of his tanned neck, utterly defenseless in her arms, face lax in blissed unconsciousness. She carefully laid him on a mahogany bench with a hum, arranging his limbs in gently for his comfort.  
  
She softly brushed back the golden hair from the young man’s peaceful face. "There, there, young one. Don't worry; I haven't given you enough to turn you immortal just yet, as the time has not come for you to join us. You need to be there for Edward until he has completed his task." She turned the boy's face and brushed aside the hair behind his right ear, smiling. The ouroboros tattoo was growing darker; going from a dim red shadow to the light form of a dragon biting its tail, identical to the one that graced her generous bosom. "Soon," she whispered, softly kissing the mark and lips lingering before pulling back. The woman took off her traveling cloak and placed it over the slumbering boy, leaving him there to rest.

“Soon...”

...

"Lust," a wheedling voice interrupted her thoughts. At first the woman didn't react, preferring to dwell on the beautiful memory. The feeling of his lithe body entrapped in her arms, the way he trembled just for her...  
  
"Lust," the voice spoke again. Lust opened one eye, annoyed, and regarded her companion. A short, round man, if he could even be called such, sucked on his finger, white empty eyes wide open in vapid concern. "Lust, I'm hungry."  
  
If it hadn't gone against her personality so badly, Lust would have rolled her eyes. As it was, she placed her chin on her palm and assumed a bored expression. "Gluttony, you are always hungry." She looked out the window from the small tower they lounged in, observing the demonstration below. Their puppet Cornello was performing beautifully, using the red stone she had given him to lure talented alchemists into their trap. Not that that was the only reason they had put him there. The army of the faithful would come in handy later, as well.  
  
The man whined childishly and placed a meaty hand on Lust's arm. "But…"  
  
"Oh, hush. You'll get some food soon. I have a feeling things are only going to get more interesting."

-o0o-

I peered over the rumbling crowd, trying to see what the Prophet Cornello was doing with new interest. His alchemy really was incredible. He somehow had the ability to make things out of nothing, creating beautiful works of art without any effort. He might have been a complete fake, but I had to hand it to him: he had style.  
  
"Philosopher's stone?" I repeated, excited. Could something like that really exist? It sounded a bit too easy to me. How could there be something out there that broke all the rules and basically granted wishes like a genie in a bottle? But again. Soul swapping. Chimeras. Magical stones that healed wounds. Who the hell knew what would come next?  
  
"That's right," Ed said, speaking to me normally. My lips twitched, grateful, since I thought he would still be mad, but it looked like he was willing to let it go for now. "It was thought to be a myth, but alchemists have dedicated their entire lives to finding out how to make one. The research is supposedly hidden very deeply since everyone who finds out seems to either be cursed to fail, or the secret is just so incredible that they wanted to hide it."  
  
"Sounds dangerous," I mused, giving up on trying to see properly and looking at Ed.

"Dangerous or not, we have to look into this. It's our only real lead, and clearly the existence of the stone is possible. I think it's our best bet." He grinned ruthlessly. "Let's go pay Father Cornello a visit."  
  
A few minutes later, the demonstration ended, and Father Cornello disappeared into the church. The people surrounding us started to disperse, and Edward and I jumped down off the crate. Just as we were about to leave, a young woman came up to us and tapped Edward lightly on the shoulder. "Excuse me, but you wouldn't happen to be the people who are staying in the pilgrim's quarters by any chance?"  
  
Ed turned around, annoyed, but he stopped short, his scathing response seeming to choke him. The girl stood only a bit shorter than I, had long brown hair with cute pink highlights in the bangs that surrounded a pretty, tan face. Her eyes were wide, brown and friendly, her smile radient. Ed frowned, disarmed, and blushed a little.  
  
"Yeah, that's us."  
  
"Hello," Alphonse piped politely. With a short bow, he introduced himself. "My name is Alphonse Elric."  
  
I gave a charming smile and imitated Al's bow theatrically, hand thrown to one side and the other resting over my heart. "My name is Alex Elric, nice to meet you."  
  
Edward jabbed a gloved thumb at himself with a wide smile. "And I'm Edward Elric, their older brother."  
  
The woman put a finger to her lips coyly, eyes sparkling with amusement at the declaration. "Older brother? Shouldn't it be the other way around?"  
  
I snorted loudly into my palm as Edward glowered dangerously. "Just calm down brother," Alphonse smoothed over, holding his hands up in placation, "she didn't mean anything by it." Edward ground his teeth but didn't respond in his usual expressive manner, no doubt because of his weakness for pretty women.  
  
"My name is Rose," the girl said brightly. "I heard you boys were staying in the pilgrim's quarters and I was wondering if you might help me with something." Her voice withheld a bubbling laugh that I could almost see just beneath the surface of her radiant smile. My cheeks tugged as I could not hold back a grin at her infectious mood.  
  
"Sure thing," I said, playfully throwing an arm around Edward's shoulder, "I'm sure Ed here would be delighted to help with _anything_ you ask." I winked and Ed took a swipe at my head. I flipped my disheveled hair back into place with a chuckle.  
  
"Great! Follow me." Rose spun around, brown hair waving merrily, and began walking towards the church, weaving between the dispersing crowd in the narrow street. Ed grumbled but was the first to follow along, Al and I a step behind him, the both of us exchanging amused glances. I nudged Al and gestured, and we shared a spark of glee.    
  
“Hold on,” I interjected, mischievousness tilting my head. She turned back to me with an inquisitive blink, and Edward blushed, smitten. I held back a laugh, Al giggling beside me discreetly. “Do you need all three of us for this?”

“Well,” she said, drawing out the syllable and tapping her chin with a manicured nail, “I don’t think so. Two of us should be able to handle it.”

“Perfect! ‘Cause there’s something I need to check out.” I gave a two fingered salute and twirled on my heel, heading in the opposite direction, missing the alarmed straightening of Al's shoulders.

“Wait a minute, hold up! Where do you think you’re going?” I jerked to a stop, coughing roughly as Edward grasped the back of my shirt and yanked. He spun me around, a glare darkening his features. I chuckled nervously. Yup, still mad. “You’re not leaving my sight today, mister.”

My smile dropped, bristling at his tone. What? He did _not_ just speak to me that way. My playful mean disappeared with a hot flash of simmering anger.

Yes, I get it, I messed up, and he was worried. But it had been a long, _long_ time since I had to listen to anyone, and I could take care of myself. I grabbed onto his hand, the corner of my mouth aligning grimly. “There’s something I need to check up on,” I repeated lowly, dangerously. He glanced at the hand holding his tightly, eyes flinting in anger. He opened his mouth to no doubt yell again, but I cut him off sharply. “You can’t stop me, Edward.” He froze, eyes going wide, and I didn’t like that look, not at all. But he wasn’t in charge of my actions, and I wasn’t some kid he could control. I think in the wake of the events in Central he had forgotten that.

Slowly, he closed his mouth, straightening. Alphonse made a fretful sound, but neither of us looked away from the other. I allowed my grimace to soften, pleading but firm, and for several seconds, we communicated silently.

_Trust me._

_I did, and you got hurt._

_Ed, I’m not a child. I need to go my own way._

_I’m worried._

_I know. I’m leaving anyway._

“You’re right,” he said eventually, bitterly. “I can’t.” I winced, but there was a point I had to make. He closed his eyes briefly before pulling away. “I’m going to help Rose, and then I’ll see if I can get an audience with Cornello.”

“Oh,” Rose broke through the tension, voice startlingly loud after our hushed conversation. Her eyes glimmered with concern. “Are you interested in Letoism?”

Like a spell lifting, the noise of the marketplace flowed back around us with pressing bodies and loud voices, breaking the silent bubble we held ourselves in and reminding us of the wider world outside of our drama. With one last lingering look, Edward turned back to Rose with a smile. “You could say that.”

He turned his back and stepped beside Rose, smoothly gesturing for her to lead the way. With a beguiling smile, the young woman was off down the street, chattering with Edward as the blond looked on indulgently, though his attention seemed a million miles away.

I took a deep breath, blocking out my vision with an upraised hand to let my emotions settle.

“What was that?”

I jumped badly, whipping around to see Alphonse still by my side. I glanced between him and Edward’s retreating back, confused. “Al, what the hell? Aren’t you going with Ed?”

“Not a chance,” Alphonse crossed his arms, looming over me in a way that only his particular brand of disappointment could loom. “Edward may not be able to stop you from doing what you want, but you can’t stop me from following you to keep you safe.”

I opened my mouth, then closed it with a frustrated growl. “What about Edward? Don’t you need to keep  _him_ safe? Cornello could be dangerous!”

“Edward isn’t the one being stalked. Besides, you seem to trust that he can take care of himself, otherwise you’d be going with him.”

Well. He got me there. Even Ed can’t screw up a simple meeting. I threw my hands up in frustration, spinning around and stalking into the crowd. “Fine! Whatever! Do what you want!”

“I will, thank you,” Alphonse responded just as hotly, clanking footsteps falling in the wake of mine. I seethed, walking as fast as I could to burn off the anger lancing through my blood. What would it take for these two to let me go on my own? Why were they treating me like a child!?

We passed several blocks in silence, meandering from street corner to street corner aimlessly. The sun beat against the back of my hunched neck, only reprieved when we passed beneath an overhang. Wonderful smells wafted from several doorways, but I felt no hunger at all, probably too upset to feel much of anything. Eventually though, my anger burned out, the wildfire in my chest easing enough for me to slow. The constant scraping of Alphonse’s patient steps began to irritate me less and comfort me more. With a long, steadying breath, I fell into step beside him. He didn’t comment.

Beneath a large overhang I finally stopped, falling into an umbrellaed chair on the edge of a communal outdoor dining area. Wordlessly, Alphonse sat across from me, and for a good hour we simply observed the passing people, families enjoying a day out, vendors shouting their wares to the world, children running between the press of bodies in mischievous flights…

“I’m sorry,” I said eventually, avoiding his eyes.

I heard a click as he turned toward me, but I stubbornly focused on the passing crowds.

“Are you going to tell me what that was about?”

I didn’t answer at first. Several more minutes passed in silence before I let out a long, exhausted breath, realizing that he wasn’t going to just let this go. “I just. I’m not a kid, y’know?” I said quietly, almost soft enough that the wind took it.

“We know that,” but I was already shaking my head, vexation welling up in me like a hot bubble about to burst at the slightest touch.

“No, I don’t think you do. I haven’t been a kid in a long, long time. And even before then, I was never a follower, not for _anyone,”_ I sighed again, pinching my nose and trying to put into words just what it was that was bothering me. “I’ve been alone for so long now, Al. This body...this damn child’s body. Do you know how frustrating it is to speak to people who would have once been my peers and have them _condescend_ me, to assume that I don’t know what I’m talking about, to protect me when _I don’t need protection.”_

Alphonse didn’t move, inscrutable. But there was something in that stillness that bespoke of something dark. I looked up, sensing the change in mood. “No, Alex. I don’t know what that’s like. Because in _this_ body….I’m an adult in the eyes of society. Adults look at me and assume that I know what I’m doing, where I’m going, that I can handle everything on my own. They speak to me sometimes with phrases I don’t understand, and have dark conversations around me that would usually be shielded from the ears of children. But I _am_ a child. I don’t _want_ to hear the things they have to say, sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing and don’t understand and sometimes...sometimes I just want to be _held.”_ His voice began to tremble towards the end, and each word made my chest clench a little tighter. I didn’t know what to say. It seemed like Alphonse didn’t want me to say anything, though, continuing on in a steadier voice. “Edward isn’t being condescending in his desire to protect you. You nearly _died,_ Alex. And now someone is after you for reasons we don’t understand. We aren’t trying to control you. We’re trying to keep you _safe.”_

I was up and around the table before I knew what I was doing, wrapping my arms around Alphonse’s cold, shielded neck. I ignored the sharp edges of his body, the points that dug into me and cut at my skin, and rested my chin atop his cold head. Our shared turmoil swirled between us and I closed my eyes, plucking at the tangled threads of his soul until they smoothed with the gentlest of touches. Even after our souls steadied, I held him close.

Eventually, a flicker of amusement tickled through the both of us from Alphonse. He placed a hand on my arm, patting it twice, gratitude a soothing, soft blue.

“You didn’t have anything to check up on, did you.”

“No,” I chuckled, pulling back a little. I smiled wryly. “I really just didn’t want to cramp Ed’s style.” Unfortunately for me, the playful nudge had turned into a severe battle of wills that sent me off the deep end. Am I a little too stressed out? I think I need a vacation.

Al laughed and I pulled back enough to lean against his side rather than smother him, our emotions dancing in harmony. “We’re a mess, aren’t we, little brother.”

“You can say that again. Hey, how much do you want to bet that Edward has gotten into trouble in the last few hours?”

“Oh, no,” I shook my finger playfully. “There’s no way I’m taking that bet. I know him too well.” I stood up and stretched, groaning in delight as my back popped. “He’s had enough time to himself, I think. Let’s go and–”

A loud screeching from every radio on the street nearly destroyed my ear drums and I flinched, slapping my hands over my ears. Everyone on the street froze what they were doing to do the same before staring around, bewildered. The sound of static flickered on and off before a voice finally came through, and thanks to the loud noise, the speaker had every ear in the city.

"–cut the crap, Cornello," Ed's voice broke through the static from the speaker, echoing through every shop and home window in the city. Alphonse and I exchanged a startled glance. "I just have some questions about the stone you've been using to fool everyone in town with your second rate alchemy. Tell me what I want to know, and I just might leave without getting the military involved."  
  
A second voice growled over the speaker, a door slammed. "What do you want to know?" Cornello's voice asked grudgingly.

An outbreak of whispers, a hissing like the wind against the sea, did nothing to impede the the conversation that followed. Unease built within the crowd almost tangibly, the vague knowledge of something terrible on its way filling them all with trepidation.

"The philosopher's stone grants you incredible power over the physical world, even allowing you to use alchemy without equivalent exchange. So why are you in this backwater town performing phony miracles? Got an inferiority complex or something?" Ed’s voice was flippant, arrogant even. The crowd shifted, and I glanced around nervously. But shock pulled me back and froze me a surely as the faithful surrounding us.

"Heh," Cornello grunted, clearly heedless to his folly. "You are thinking too small, child. At my fingertips I have an army of the faithful to do my bidding, just with a couple small 'phony miracles', as you put it. With each miracle I attract new followers to the order who are unafraid to die." His voice grew in intensity and hubris. "Soon enough, no one will be able to stand in my way, and I will be able to rule this world with impunity. Who knows? I might even cut you a piece. Ahahaha…ha…why are you smirking?"  
  
"Pft," Ed snorted, "all you guys are the same, no imagination. You really are a novice aren't you?"  
  
"….Wha–How long has that speaker been on?!" Cornello screamed frantically. "Don't listen to him my children. It is a trick! Aaaah!" Gunfire was heard, and then the sound cut off abruptly.  
  
Complete silence filled the air, save for the crackling of tuneless radios. Al and I stared at each other, my mouth hanging open.

“We leave him alone for one day. _One day–”_ Al stuttered.

“And he tears down an entire religion,” I finished.

Cries of outrage, hisses of disbelief and despaired mutterings begin to build around us, a miasma of anger suffocating the air. Al and I shifted nervously. “We need to get to brother before–”

An explosion and a plume of smoke from the spires in the center of the city punctuated his statement with a bang. Alphonse sank down into himself with a piteous groan. “Before _that.”_

I laughed loudly, inappropriately, but thankfully it was drowned out by the populace’s growing alarm. “What was that? You two wanted to keep _me_ safe?”

“Shut up.” Al swatted me on the arm. “Come on, let’s go get him before he does any more damage.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmm, Lust, what ARE you planning? Ah, I really love her character. She's such a fabulous villain. For those of you that felt uncomfortable by that scene, good! it was supposed to be. Also, not technically underaged, so no flames please.
> 
> Al and Alex, oh their feels. They mirror each other so perfectly it makes me cry.
> 
> Please leave me some feedback if you enjoyed! I would love to hear from you all :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex begins to notice something strange.

How did you tell someone that their entire existence was a sham and that everything they had ever believed in was a lie?

By being vague, apparently.

Turned out that Cornello wasn’t going to give up without a fight. Once Edward exposed his plot to the city, the battle was on. It took Alphonse and me a good half hour to run back to the church, and by the time we got there Edward had it well in hand, going so far as to wave us off when we arrived. The look on Cornello’s face when he was dismissed as harmless was utterly priceless. 

Huh. He didn’t look so benevolent now, did he? 

Al and I slowly made our way down the stairs on the outside of the church, careful not to get shaken off the building by the many tremors we could feel from Edward's battle with Cornello. That kid really could be violent sometimes, I mused. I would have been concerned, but well, it was Ed. And he was more than a match for a man that was not even an alchemist, just an egomaniac with an alchemical booster. I wondered how that worked anyway. Did the stone just eliminate the need for all of the principles of alchemy? Because I was pretty sure that Cornello was not capable of even the understanding of his components, let alone the visualization to create such beautiful works of art as we had witnessed in his demonstration. Still, I digressed. I barely understood alchemy myself, so who was I to say what was and wasn't possible? Maybe Cornello was actually a genius? Hm…unlikely.

We stood at the entrance of the church, waiting for Edward to appear as the sun sank even lower on the horizon, the golden glow changing to deep orange. Rose stood behind us, stoic and silent, and I gave her her space, concerned.

What she must have witnessed to make her look that way. I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to find out that the prophet of your entire culture was a complete sham, a manipulative villain. Her world must be crashing down around her, and it was with a face identical to those we had seen all over the city–devastated, angry, confused–that she stood in silence, shoulders trembling and eyes miles away.

Al was equally as silent and watching the entrance for his brother intently. Edward had told us not to interfere in his battle, and so we would wait.

With a resounding slam, Edward finally emerged. He looked worn out and irritated, a deep frown marring his face and his flesh arm covered in bruises.

"So…?" I asked slowly when he didn't speak right away.

"It was a fake," he said sullenly.

My heart sank in disappointment, but really I wasn't surprised. It would have been too easy to find the philosopher's stone right off the bat. Fate just didn't work that way.

"But we did find out one thing," Alphonse said optimistically. "It is possible to create something that ignores the law of equivalent exchange, which means we have solid lead."

Edward nodded. "I still think the philosopher's stone is our best bet. If we could just–"

"How could you…" Rose interrupted him sharply, speaking in a tense whisper. We turned to her, and I was startled to see that she had tears in her eyes. "How could you just–just take away our hope like this? Everything was fine before you three showed up!" 

"Was it fine?" Edward asked softly. "You heard what he said, Rose. He was just using you and all the people of Lior. He took advantage of this city's drought to gain power, and that was all."

“You don’t understand!” She shouted. “Cornello didn’t just give us faith! He brought this town back from _ruin._ We were running out of water, desperate! We would have had to abandon our homes if he hadn’t  saved us!”

“He was just using you, Rose,” Edward insisted, and I almost wondered if it would have been better to not interfere at all. Because Rose was right, he did save them. But did one good deed, even as great as saving an entire populace from drought, justify Cornello’s plot to control these people? They had seemed happy enough to worship him...I only had to remember what else he said, though, his desire to not only rule them, but to have an army of the faithful unafraid of death, to determine that it did not. I didn’t want to say it aloud, empathizing with the distressed woman, but luckily Edward made my point for me. “If Cornello had ordered you all to fight for his ridiculous world domination plot, how many would have died for their ‘faith’? Because I’m pretty sure when we first came here, every single person we spoke to would have given their lives for their ‘savior’.”

Rose whimpered, stricken. "But he said," she whispered, strangled. "He said he could bring Cane back.”

Edward flinched the barest inch, and it was missed by Rose, but Al and I shared the sentiment as we watched grimly. It seemed like there was no limit to the lengths people would go to regain what they’d lost. It just so happens that Rose’s weakness, and the weakness of many here, had blinded them to the truth.

“What do I have to live for now that I know it will never happen? What do I do! Please, tell me what to do…" Tears streamed down the brunettes face, and she fell to her knees in despair.

"I can't tell you that. No one can…" Ed began to walk away, gazing at the stone beneath his feet. "Live for yourself from now on, and you will find you are strong enough to make your own decisions. A new path is before you, one without anyone else to tell you how to think, so find the truth on your own. Knowledge can be a painful burden, but in some ways, it is when we see the truth that we are the most free."

I lifted a brow at that rather eloquent statement, so uncharacteristic of Edward and strikingly mature for one so young. A niggling of doubt crawled along the bottom of my stomach and a startling thought occured, Alphonse’s words from earlier finally getting through to me. I had been wrong. Edward hadn’t been treating me like a child; I had been treating  _ him _ like one. Internally, I laughed at myself, scraping a hand down my face. What a fool I’d been to forget just what he and Alphonse had been through, how intelligent and mature they were, just because I was annoyed that they’d been overprotective of me. Their behavior was  _ my _ fault, and they were doing it because they cared and for no other reason. What I had interpreted as condescension was nothing of the sort. Alphonse looked at me questioningly, but I only shook my head, giving Edward’s retreating back a wry smile. Alphonse nodded, though I wonder if he actually knew what I was thinking, before following Edward down the church steps.

I watched their retreating backs for a moment before turning my gaze to the sobbing girl sitting on the steps of her ruined religion. Edward's words really weren't that helpful in her situation. She had just lost everything she'd ever held dear, and the hope for ever returning to normal was gone. Not only that, but her situation ran painfully close to home. I had also lost the man I loved, maybe forever, so I understood how she felt. But Edward's right. There's nothing I could say that would ease her pain, and she needed to think for herself. It wouldn’t be easy, but she would just have to be strong.

I turned away from her, ready to follow my brothers into the sunset to make our dramatic exit, leaving the ruined, smoking church behind us, when a thought occurred to me.

Dramatic mic drops didn't happen in real life, and we had forgotten our bags in the pilgrim's quarters.

-o0o-

"Aaaah." I took a deep breath of the mountain air, enjoying the atmosphere of the cool region we had traveled into. We were on our way back to Central, but after two days traveling by taxi in the desert heat, and then one on the uncomfortable train benches, I convinced Edward to allow us to stop at a small village called Xenotime.

It really didn't take much to convince him, since I knew he was just as uncomfortable as I was. And smelly. Both of us really needed a bath, since we literally hadn't had one since Lior. Hasty sink baths didn't count.

I stretched my arms above my head, invigorated by the cool air that was so refreshing after spending over a week in a desert.

"How can you be so energetic?" Edward griped from beside me, trudging along the dirt road. "Neither one of us has gotten any real sleep for days." He rubbed his tired eyes on the sleeve of his coat, which he'd repaired with alchemy for the nth time. I wondered how many times on this journey he would remake that thing. For that matter, how many times would I ask Alphonse to do the same for me? It would probably be a lot considering how often we got into trouble.

"Beats me," I said, lifting my arms above my head. It was kind of strange though. I was oddly awake for someone who had been traveling so much without sleep. Whatever.

A little later, we walked through the city gates and got our first look at Xenotime. It was a pleasant village, with quaint, Italian-esque buildings surrounded by scenic mountains. If I were in my original world, I would say we were in a place that looked a bit like pictures I had seen of New Zealand. It was amazing to me how quickly the climate had changed after passing the mountain range, but I guess it wasn't unusual. Something about pressure and cloud movement over high and low elevation. I was never good at science or geography, so the exact details escaped me.

"Damn, something smells really good," I said, taking a deep breath. There was a lovely scent in the air that made my mouth water, like a combination of the sweetest wine and my favorite food combined, though the exact flavors escaped me. Someone must have been cooking something divine, and it smelled achingly familiar, though I couldn’t for the life of me place it.

"I don't smell anything," Ed grumbled irritably. "Hey look, there's an inn!" He rushed to the other side of the street, and Alphonse shook his head.

"I swear, he's like a little kid sometimes."

"Yay, bath!" I fist pumped and raced after Edward, leaving Alphonse to mutter in my wake.

Edward quickly paid for a room for three, shoving money into the poor receptionist's hands and grunting out our names rapidly when she asked. "Ed, Al, and Al." He rudely snatched the room key from the bewildered girl before racing up the stairs. I grinned in amusement at Alphonse's distressed groan. We were going to give him an aneurysm from second hand embarrassment at this rate.

I shut the door behind us as we entered the small room. Like any other inn, it had the simple furnishings of beds, two dressers, and a bathroom. This one was a bit more luxurious than other inns we had been in, and definitely on par with a palace compared to sleeping on a hard train bench. The wonderful scent that I had smelled earlier seemed to permeate from everywhere we went, and I inhaled deeply, trying to place it.

I let out a sudden, breathy giggle. Ed, who had been in the process of taking off his coat, gave me an odd look. "Hey, Al, guess what? I just realized. You're Al and…I'm Al! We are both Al. Get it. Alexander? Alphonse?"

"Um…yeah, I guess so…?" Alphonse said, confused at my sudden odd behavior.

"Al and Al!" I laughed for a few more seconds…and then I realized that what I said wasn't funny. My smile slowly fell, and I cleared my throat awkwardly. Where did that come from?

"…Anyway," Ed said slowly, lifting a brow, "I'm going to take a bath. Then let's get something to eat."

I nodded, still slightly embarrassed about my outburst. When Ed finished, I sank gratefully into the warm water of the bath and languidly washed away all the crud that had collected on me whilst traveling. Finally clean (Al even polished his armor), the three of us headed down to the restaurant on the lower floor.

"This place is pretty ritzy," I said, picking idly at my food. The decor was a bit higher class than what we were accustomed to, and the walls were covered in glass cases containing pieces of gold jewelry.

"Xenotime is famous for it's gold mines, although recently I've heard that they've run dry," Ed said, grabbing a bread roll.

"Really…"

The dining room was pretty busy, and the conversation buzzed around us merrily. It didn't seem to me like the economic condition of this town was in jeopardy. "That's a shame," I mused, "I love shopping for jewelry."

Edward gave me a strange look. "You what now?"

I scratched the back of my head awkwardly, that familiar pang that appeared when I revealed some of my more feminine sides jittering through me uncomfortably. "Well, yeah, it used to be one of my favorite things to do." I smiled whistfully. "I would always shop with my mother and a couple of women on her side of the family." A pang of homesickness hit me for a moment as I recalled admiring my grandmother's jewelry. If things had not happened the way they did, I would have inherited her collection. In this world, I could not indulge in that passion without turning a few heads.

"You know, sometimes I forget that you were a girl. Especially since you've never act like it," Ed said with a lifted brow and a teasing smile.

My answering expression was serious though, and I couldn’t really bring myself to joke about it. "Well…when I came to this world, I guess I sort of locked that side of myself away."

"Why?” Ed shrugged, and I blinked in surprise. "Even though it isn't that common, there are men in this world that are effeminate. You don't have to hide who you really are to conform to how you think a man should act."

For a moment I was at a loss for words, unsure. This world seemed locked in the 1920's technologically (with a few exceptions) and culturally, but I guess I sometimes forget that it isn't the 1920's from _my_ world. I always just assumed I would be ridiculed for not acting masculine. "Is that okay? Wouldn't I be looked down upon?"

Ed snorted. "Do you think Teacher is looked down upon for being too masculine?"

...He had a good point. But it was kind of different when it went the other way around. It just–was.

"Look," Ed continued, "even if others look down on you, you just need to beat respect into them until they don't." I lifted a brow, deadpan.

"What brother is _trying_ to say," Alphonse interjected hastily, "is that we and the people who care about you won't judge you for how you choose to be. Just be you."

I looked between the two boys, lips pinched. Was that...really okay? But. I don’t know...I flipped a potato over my fork a couple of times, not really having any desire to eat it, thinking. 

I wouldn’t get the chance to mull it over for too long though, because two men walked into the bar, talking loudly over the buzzing around us. Annoyed, I tried to tune them out, but to no avail.

"…they made a new breakthrough," one man shouted, excited. "It looks like we won't have to wait much longer before we can start selling gold again!"

Everyone in the restaurant looked over in interest, and slowly the buzz died down.

"You mean those kids actually did it," a man shouted from behind us. Excitement rose palpably in the room.

"Not quite yet, but Mugear just told us that they are getting really close!" The people of the inn cheered, as if he’d just announced the favored team won the world series or something.

"Excuse me," Alphonse enquired politely to a woman sitting at a table next to us, "but what are they talking about?"

The young woman’s mouth clamped shut tightly, intimidated by Alphonse's appearance, but I gave her an encouraging smile and it seemed to ease her. "He's talking about the Elric brothers creating the philosopher's stone to save Xenotime!"

"…"

For a few seconds all three of us sat in silence and replayed what she had said in our heads. At first, I felt alarm. How could they possibly know we were trying to find the philosopher's stone? But then I realized she couldn't possibly recognize us, or else she wouldn't be talking about us as if we weren’t there. Plus that guy had said that we had somehow made a breakthrough on creating one, but we’d barely even heard of the thing, much less knew how to make it.

"Wait," Alphonse said. "Did you say the  _ Elric _ brothers were making a philosopher's stone?"

"That's right, the Elric brothers, Edward and Alexander. Edward is actually considered the hero of the people because of his exploits in Youswell, and he's an actual state alchemist!"

I glanced at Al. "What about Alphonse Elric?" I asked. The girl shrugged.

"There are three Elrics? I thought there were only two. They’re working on the stone up in Mugear's mansion in order to bring the mine back to life. Soon we’ll have our town's gold production back in business!" The girl clapped her hands giddily and turned back to her companions at her own table.

Chatter in the restaurant resumed as we sat in silence trying to process what we just leanred. Ed stood abruptly and gestured for us to follow. We left the inn and walked to a small park, away from prying ears.

"So…what the actual–"

"Alex!"

"Heh, sorry Al. But seriously. What is going on here?"

Ed sat on a park bench and folded his arms. "Obviously someone is trying to use our names to create a philosopher's stone."

"But why would they need to do that?"

"State alchemist's get a lot of respect. Maybe they’re just second rate and needed our names to get the credit to be trusted with the project."

"And there must only be two of them, which is why one of us got left out," Al grumbled, miffed.

"Hey, just be happy someone isn't impersonating you," Ed said, equally angry. "I'd love to get my hands on whoever it is and teach them a lesson."

"That aside," I waved the tension away like a stray bug, not really all that upset, "do you really think they can make a stone? Does it even have the capability to create gold?"

"Sure, it can theoretically make anything," Al said. "We did it temporarily without one in Youswell, remember? Creating gold is strictly forbidden, though. I wonder why they are so open about talking about it. Aren't they afraid the State will get involved?"

"Could be another reason why they need our names. Maybe they think that if Edward’s involved, the State won't interfere."

"Idiots," Ed grunted. "If they think that, they must be out of their minds. If that much gold were suddenly created, it would be a problem for everyone. Inflation and all that. The military would be all over this place like bugs on candy."

I made a weird face at that disturbing image. "Still, if they are really attempting to make the stone, then we should definitely check it out."

"Yeah, we should." Ed stood up, incensed. "No one gets to use my name without my permission. It's time to pay these imposters a visit." He cracked the knuckles on his flesh hand.

"That might be difficult though. We can't just say who we are now. No one will believe us," Al reasoned.

"We'll break in, of course!" 

"And then what, burn the place down?" 

"…Maybe."

"Ed!"

-o0o-

I lay awake in the bed beside Edward who snored softly in slumber. The sun had barely gone down, but we decided to get some rest before we headed to Mugear's mansion to investigate. Only problem with that was…I couldn't sleep. I was too excited. For some reason, this town had me jumping off the walls. I turned on my side and tried to get my whirring mind to rest so I would have enough energy to spy later, but soon had to give up.

I sat up with a sigh. Alphonse, who had been reading quietly while we rested, regarded me over his book. "What's the matter?"

I shrugged and wandered over to where he sat. I peered over his shoulder to see that he was reading… a romance novel?

"Wow, Al, I never pinned you as the romantic type."

"I'm not, really. There was just nothing to read in the library downstairs but this." He looked down at the pages. "The hero of this story is a bit silly. He seems to think that as long as he loves someone enough, he can claim that person even if they don't love him back."

"That actually sounds kind of dark."

"It's subtext. I think it's supposed to be a light, happy story, but I'm just cynical."

"You are way too young to be saying that, kid."

"Yeah, well, technically you're a toddler." So there, he seemed to say. I scrunched up my face in confusion before remembering that this body was actually only a few years old at most. Huh. Actually hadn't considered that before...Not really sure how to respond to that without giving myself a headache, I grumbled and went back to bed. It took a while, but I was finally able to nod off.

Later that night, or should I say (very) early morning, I ran between Edward and Alphonse as we dashed across an open space in the garden beside Mugear's mansion. Alphonse’s armor made so much noise, it was a wonder the guards hadn't heard us yet. We stopped along the side of the stone wall of the large house, and I regained my breath as Edward checked around the wall to see if anyone had noticed us. 

Edward moved back into the shadows and motioned for us to stand aside. With a quiet clap of his hands and a not so subtle flash of lightning, he created small door and swung it open. A tickling sensation fluttered in my chest and I couldn’t hold back a stifled laugh as both Alphonse and I had to bend over to get through it, but Ed walked through upright. He glared over his shoulders and held a finger in front of his mouth, shushing me, and I restrained my laughter with a hand. I stumbled a bit when I climbed over the threshold, but neither boy seemed to notice.

We entered a library. Books lined every wall, and I was uncomfortably reminded of Tucker's personal collection. Then I saw the moon filtering through a window, immediately distracted. Pretty…

Edward and Alphonse shuffled around, looking through the books, although Ed was merely handing things for Alphonse to read, since he had perfect night vision.

"All of these books are about the philosopher's stone," Alphonse whispered.

"So this must be where they are making it, no doubt about it. Hey Alex, could you…Alex what are you doing?" Ed whispered, bemused.

That…was a good question. I stared up at the moon, mouth hanging open the barest sliver and a dazed expression slackening my face. It just felt so  _ nice _ to stand there and…breathe. Everything felt nice. Mmmm. Small tingles of contentment slid up and down my body. For some reason this place put me at ease, that sweet smell that permeated the entire town somehow so much sweeter here. I was languid with it...

"In case the guards weren't a clue, this place is off limits," a smooth male voice shattered the silence abruptly. I squinted in the sudden light, vaguely alarmed. In the doorway stood a tall blond young man, hair swept beside his face in a classic style that I had only ever seen in celebrity rags. Clinging to him was a young boy, no older than ten by my estimates.

"So you're the ones who have been stealing our names," Ed accused.

"Ah, I see," the man said, slowly walking forwards. "You must be the real Elric brothers. I take it that that means you are the real Ed, in the suit."

Al pointed at himself, "Um, no I'm Alphonse."

He seemed comically stumped. "You're the youngest brother? Then…" He looked over at me.

"For you, handsome, I'll be anyone," I giggled, words slightly slurred. His brows disappeared behind his bangs in surprise. 

"Wha–No! I'm Edward dammit! How does everyone always get that wrong?" Ed seethed.

It took a moment for him to break his gaze with mine, disturbed, before he forced his attention to Edward. "Why don't you tone it down a notch, unless you want the guards to realize you are here. I'm afraid I need your name for just a little longer, so why don't you just leave?"

"Are you trying to pick a fight with me?" Ed grit through his teeth. Ed’s doppleganger stopped in front of him, and Ed had to crane his neck to even look him in the eye. A muscle in Edward's neck twitched.

"I don't want to fight you, Ed, so why don't you turn around and go home. Leave us to take care of things around here." The blond lifted his chin with an arrogant smirk, looking down his nose at Edward.

Uh oh. Ed really didn't like to be looked down on. With a furious expression, Ed whipped his fist into the imposter's face. Impressively, the man–though maybe not, he seemed Edward’s age–caught it. "Well well, an automail arm. So the real Ed has seen some action too."

"I'm glad you've got some skills," Ed grinned evilly, "cause I wouldn't want you to  _ damage my reputation!" _ Ed snapped his leg up and hit the taller boy in the chin. The boy’s jaw clicked audibly and he fell back with a startled grunt.

"Ed, not his face! You'll ruin it!" I yelled from across the room. What was I even  _ saying? _ But for some reason it seemed vitally important that he didn’t damage that pretty model boy’s face. What a tragedy that would be! The world spun, and I stumbled into the shelf beside me.

"Dammit, Alex, stop taking his side," Ed shouted, momentarily distracted by my nonsense. Taking advantage, the fake Ed punched my brother in the face, and Edward slid back into the bookshelves behind him.

The hair on the back of my neck raised as I bristled, mood swinging violently in the other direction. "Hey," I shouted, suddenly angry. No one treated my brother like that! I pulled out my tonfa with thick fingers and lunged forward, whipping one of the weapons around. But something was wrong, felt off. I was moving too fast, putting too much force behind my blow. My vision blurred, and inexplicable power surged through me in a rush of heat. I tried to withdraw, but I couldn’t hold it back and I would have decapitated the boy if he hadn't dodged at the last moment, blue eyes wild with surprise. My tonfa crashed into the oak of the shelves instead, and to my shock, pulverized the wood into splinters. I stared dumbly as the battle continued out of sight, blinking hard through the shimmering image before me. Something behind me flashed red, momentarily painting my view crimson, and a strong sense of familiarity washed over me before it sank back into nothing. What the hell…?

The young kid, who had been hiding behind the door frame the entire altercation, stared at me with wide eyes, but ducked behind the door as I slowly shifted my gaze to him. I breathed in deeply to calm myself, but it did nothing to help, almost like taking another hit after smoking too much. A giddy feeling tickled behind my chest, bubbling until it burst, and I began laughing. My tonfa..were just so–so  _ green _ …

Something jerked me from behind,  _ hard _ , and I gagged, spinning around to stumble into step with Edward, who pulled me along roughly. "What the hell's wrong with you? We need to get out of here!"

"M'kay," I slurred with a bright smile, running after my two retreating brothers amid the sound of shouting guards.

Some time later, we sat on a hill on the outskirts of town to catch our breaths.

The world spun, stars painting dizzying paths across my vision, forcing me to close my eyes. I felt like I was falling, the sensation so strong I had to imagine wings to catch me, to float atop it before I could fall into panic. Fantasy in place, my thoughts muddled back into the comforting haze...

"Brother, did you see that?” Al’s voice came to me as if from a long ways off. “That guy was using alchemy without a transmutation circle."

"Yeah! He  _ had _ to be using some kind of booster! When I get my hands on that guy…and  _ you _ ! What the hell was that?"

I held my tonfa up to the moonlight, amusing myself as I watched it change colors as I moved it. Green, black, green, black…heh…I looked over at Edward's infuriated face and started giggling uncontrollably again. The boys watched me in confusion.  _ Ed's so angry…heh…heheh…wait…that's not funny. _ I froze and my smile slowly dropped from my face. Why...was I laughing?

"Alex," Alphonse asked in concern. "Are you okay?"

I sat up abruptly, causing Ed and Al to jump. Just what had I been doing up to that point? I vaguely remembered that blond guy, a battle…and somehow breaking a bookshelf…but it was all kind of blurry. Alphonse came over and lightly touched my arm. His concern filtered through our link, and that out of everything felt startlingly clear through all the fuzziness, finally pulling me out of it.

"You don't feel ill…" he said uncertainty.

I shook my head. "I have no idea what happened. I feel fine…"

"Well," Ed grumbled, flipping open his watch to check the time. "It's really late. Maybe you’re just tired. Let's head back to the inn, and we can figure all this out in the morning."

"Ok…" I said. Al and I exchanged a look, doubtful. We could both feel that I wasn't tired in the least. In fact, I felt like I could run a marathon. I shrugged and he stepped back, and we followed Ed back to the inn. I hoped that in the morning, Ed would help me figure this out. Something strange was going on in this town, and something strange was going on inside of me. All I knew was that tonight I would be getting no sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex still struggles with his preconceptions. It will probably be a journey for him to get over them :\\. And oh my, what could POSSIBLY be going on with him, hm? 
> 
> Okay, so I'm kind of skipping a lot of canonical stuff and just assuming that everyone has watched the series and knows what happened. Is that bothering anyone? I'm just curious.
> 
> Thanks everybody!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something's not right with this town, and something's definitely not right with Alex. All he knows is that whatever it is, he doesn't want any part of it. Too bad he doesn't have a choice.

Something was wrong.

Physically, I felt fine. Great, even. Running at one hundred and ten percent efficiency. But that was just it. I’ve eaten the bare minimum, barely slept, and have been running about like a madman for days without the luxury of a proper bed. It shouldn’t be possible for me to have this-this overflowing energy that prevented me from staying still for any length of time, much less actually rest. If I didn’t feel so damned inexplicably content, I would be more concerned.

After we got back to the hotel, Ed had immediately passed out on his bed, without even taking off his clothes. I…didn't. I tried to wind down, but it was like my veins were buzzing, the sensation prickling at my skin, and I couldn’t force myself to be still. Alphonse watched me for a while before asking for the fourth time if I was feeling alright.

"Yes," I groaned quietly so as not to disturb Edward. The boy slept on, softly snoring. "That's what's bothering me though. I don't really remember what happened, but I feel like a million bucks."

"Bucks?" Alphonse tilted his head to the side.

"Erm, it's slang for currency back where I'm from."

"Oh." Silence fell over us for a few moments as I continued to pace. "Well…" Al continued, "If you can't sleep, how about you let me help you calm down?" He patted the spot beside him, and I considered.

"It might just get you riled up too, though.”

"No, I think I've got a handle on myself. Come here."

I hesitated, but nodded and walked over. I sat against him carefully, and allowed his emotions to wash over mine. For a few seconds my unrest coursed through both of us, but then Alphonse's cool wave of emerald green serenity slowly calmed me down, his rock-steady tranquility soothing my unease. My heart rate slowed, and I could feel myself relax.

"How are you always so centered?" I asked him languidly.

"I have to chase you and Edward around all the time. One of us has to be collected, and it's not going to be brother, I can tell you that much."

I chuckled and allowed myself to relax against his cool metal body. That was how Edward found us in the morning. I had gotten no sleep whatsoever, but with the help of Alphonse I was able to loosen a bit.

Ed sat up from his slumber, discretely wiping away the drool on the side of his face. He looked around blearily, scratching the back of his head in annoyance where his braid was still uncomfortably bound. He spied Alphonse and me leaning against each other, watching the sunrise peak over the mountains through the faintly dingy window of our room.

"Alex, have you been awake all night?"

Although Ed had only been addressing me, a curious sensation of involuntary movement tethered me to Alphonse, and the both of us nodded as one. A vague confusion filtered through the link, but who it came from I couldn’t say. I felt too languid and relaxed to care too much, other than that it might come in handy someday if we want to do a ventriloquist gig. Something to keep on the backburner should Edward’s coffers run out, I mused. I smiled, and Alphonse shared in my amusement.

"Couldn't sleep," Al and I said at the same time. Okay, maybe it was a _little_ bit unsettling. We pulled away from each other, and I shook off my whole body as I felt his presence leave me. Man, I don't think we've ever been in contact that long. I noted the effects and thought that maybe it wasn't something we should do too often.

Immediately upon our separation, my tension returned in a burst of energy, although it wasn't as powerful as before. Whatever was happening, Alphonse had held it off, at least for a little while.

Ed looked at me in concern. "Are you feeling alright? Last night you were acting off."

"Yeah, I think I'm good."

Ed gave me a look, and then shrugged, beginning his morning routine. After cleaning up, we went down the stairs to the restaurant to get some breakfast. Edward piled his plate high with food, and I did the same, although I didn't feel particularly hungry. We sat at a table by a window, other guests trickling in slowly. Ed immediately began scarfing down his food with his usual vigor, and I brought my first bite to my lips…and stopped. It wasn't that I didn't feel _particularly_ hungry; I wasn't hungry at all.

"What's up, Alex? You don't like pancakes?" Al asked.

Don't like pancakes? _Don't like pancakes_ ? I _loved_ pancakes. I just… "I'm not hungry."

"Huh," Ed huffed through a mouthful of food. He looked out the window at the barely risen sun. "Well, it is still kind of early…"

"No, I mean I'm not hungry at all. I feel like I've just eaten."

"But you haven't, not since yesterday afternoon," Al said. I looked down at my plate, feeling no desire at all to eat anything. I frowned uneasily. I was _always_ hungry.

"Maybe I should take you to the pharmacy. You could be coming down with something," Al suggested.

"Yeah..." Maybe it was nothing, but something was niggling at the back of my mind, something I was sure I’d forgotten.

When Ed finished eating he wandered off, claiming that he was going to do some investigating. Al and I wandered through the town, following the instructions someone had given us to find a pharmacy. As we walked I appreciated the cool air, and despite my worry began to feel that same giddy feeling I had been experiencing since coming to Xenotime.

Al seemed equally distracted, though he radiated more worry than a casual walk down the street would warrant, gaze tracking our surroundings closely. "What's up, Al?" I asked, trying to spot what had gotten his attention.

"Have you noticed that there are a lot of sick people in this town?"

I observed the people a little more closely. At about every fourth person, one would be coughing or looking worn down. "Maybe there is a bug going around…"

"Maybe," Al said uncertainly. I looked at him curiously, but he didn’t elaborate.

When we reached the pharmacy, we paused. "Wow, there are a ton of people here.” The corner store was filled to the brim with people that had the same troubling symptoms as the people we had seen in town. "Maybe we should just leave. These people are way worse off than I am."

"But I would still feel better if we had you looked at…"

"Al," I said in exasperation. "I'm fine." Probably.

"Um?" a young voice asked. Al and I looked down to see the young boy that had been with the Edward imposter the night before. His brother, I guessed. He had blonde hair like the older teen, which he held back with green ear mufflers, and bright blue eyes. "If you need medicine, I could probably get you some…"

"Aren't you the kid who's impersonating me?" I asked, tone light. Despite that though, the young boy flinched as if I’d struck him.

"I'm sorry!"

"Whoa, it's ok, I'm sure you and your brother have your reasons," I said hastily.

He looked up with doleful eyes. "You aren't mad?"

"Eh, I'm glad it's such a cute kid. Have to keep my reputation you know," I brought my hands up to my face blinked rapidly, pursing my lips in a pout. The boy giggled, much to my satisfaction.

With Alphonse's instructions he ran into the drug store, weaving in and out of the crowd. Al and I waited a little ways off, sitting on an old bench in the park.

The boy handed over some medicine with a contrite expression. "Thank you very much," Alphonse said politely, taking the white bag. The young boy fidgeted, seeming reluctant to leave, and Alphonse tilted his head, considering. He prodded gently, "I guess both of us have brothers who let their tempers get the better of them."

"I'm sorry," the boy said immediately, Al’s question breaking whatever had been holding him back from speaking. And speak he did, so rapidly it was almost difficult to parse out his words. "For us to work with Mugear, we had to have some credibility. The only way for my brother to claim to be a state alchemist as a teenager was to pretend to be the famous Edward Elric. I became Alex because we heard you were so much bigger than me, and we didn't want it to be too suspicious." He peaked out from beneath his bangs guiltily, seeming to really feel bad for this, almost unaccountably so.

"Do you really want a philosopher's stone that badly?"

The boy jumped, surprise flashing over his face. What, did he expect us to yell at him or something? "Uhm...My father devoted his entire life to the research of the Red Stone."

"So he was an alchemist as well."

"Yes. One day, he just disappeared. Out of love for my father, brother insists on completing his research."

"That's the opposite of my family," Alphonse mused, looking up at the sky. I listened curiously. The brothers had never spoken much about their family. "My brother hates our father. He was also an alchemist, and brother despises him for it. He was obsessed with the science, and our mother suffered because of it, especially when he left us."

This was news to me. They had never spoken about their father, but he must have been something special to produce these two geniuses. I guess that explained why their mother had been raising them alone.

"On our journey, my brothers and I have met many other people who have suffered because of alchemy. Listen, if your brother is doing something you know is wrong, be brave and stop him. If someone else has to intervene, it will only hurt him all the more. Trust me, I know."

Boy, did he. If Alphonse had been able to stop Edward that night, then none of us would be in the situation we were in now. Did Al blame himself for that…?

We sat in silence for a few moments. "Hey," Al said, "have you noticed that there are a lot of people with coughs in this town?"

The boy jumped and averted his eyes. "No, why?"

"Well–" The boy suddenly froze. At the end of the street from us, the boy impersonating Edward looked down on us coldly.

"Um, it's time for me to go," he said apologetically. Before he could run off, though, Al stopped him.

"Wait! What's your real name?"

He smiled, happy and bright. "It's Fletcher." He ran to his brother's side and the two moved out of sight.

"Hm…What do you think we should do?" I asked Al, staring after him. This was getting more interesting by the second.

"Well, for right now, we should find Ed. And you should take that medicine."

I grumbled to myself. I felt fine, and I was certain it wouldn't do anything. Ed chose that moment to show his face, running around the corner in a dead sprint.

"Ed!" I shouted in surprise as he nearly bowled me over. The boy skidded to a stop, golden eyes snapping about like a predator looking for particularly evasive prey.

"Al, that imposter is around here somewhere. Have you seen him?"

"…No." I glanced up in surprise. Why was Al lying? Ed strode towards us angrily.

"Did you know that he's been going around town, fixing broken tools and wheels?"

"Um…and that's a bad thing?" I asked, confused.

"No, it's not that! It's the way he's doing it! He's completely ignoring the law of equivalent exchange."

"You don't think he actually did it, do you? Created a philosopher's stone," Al asked, excited.

"I don't know, but we are _going_ to find out."

-o0o-

That night, we found ourselves outside of Mugear's mansion for the second time. This time around, I was paying strict attention to my reactions. Whatever was happening, it seemed to be stronger the closer we got. I noticed my thoughts becoming a bit fuzzy, the now familiar haze taking over my vision. I felt drugged, like I’d just taken a hit of something strong. And that something smelled really...really nice.

Edward glanced about as we stopped behind a bush, looking intently for guards. Finding none, we rushed forward, and Edward's braid waved erratically as he ran. I became immediately distracted by the glimmer of gold against red. Heh….back forth…back forth…I shook my head vigorously, but that only intensified the dizziness. What was going on…?

We stopped at the same wall we had infiltrated before. I noticed with amusement that Ed's door had been converted back to how it was. "Alright, this time we go for 'operation mole hole,'" Ed whispered. He clapped his hands together and placed them on the ground. A flash of light later, there was a hole with piles of displaced dirt around it. Edward climbed in first, then Alphonse, then me. I followed behind Alphonse languidly, vision blurring at the edges. Heh…mole hole…I'm a mole! Hehe…I actually brought my hand to my face to check if I had whiskers…that would be so cool…

I breathed in deeply. What _was_ that wonderful scent? It seemed to be getting sweeter the farther down we went.

"Ok, I think we’re right under the mansion now," Ed whispered from somewhere in front of me.

"Are you sure?" Al asked.

"Nope, but we have to come up somewhere." He clapped his hands and put them above his head, completing the tunnel. "Bingo."

Air rushed in, rustling my hair and cooling my heated skin. I froze, muscles seizing as I got a full blast of what had been making me giddy since coming to Xenotime. Sparks of sensation ran up and down my body in a disturbingly familiar way…and then I blacked out.

-o0o-

Edward climbed out of the tunnel he had created, Alex and Alphonse close behind, and took a cursory look around. Before him ran a stream cut into a cement indention on the floor, flowing quickly into the darkness to his left. A sewer system obviously, but it seemed to have been repurposed. Instead of water, a dark red substance ran slick as oil in the trough, a noxious pink gas hazing his vision. He breathed shallowly, cringing at the harsh chemical spell.

Ed placed a hand on his chin and went through the catalogue of the texts he had studied, information flashing behind his vision in rapid fire. This seemed familiar, if he could just remember...Then it clicked.

"So that's their plan."

"What is it?" Alphonse stepped up beside him, peering into the substance from a safe distance.

"This is the chemical used to produce the Red Stone. I remember reading about it in the library in Central. It's a solution full of alchemic catalysts that if put under enough pressure, crystallizes into a stone."

"Like the Philosopher's Stone?"

Ed scoffed, "More like a cheap imitation." He shrugged. "I think it was some alchemist named Nash or something that was researching the Red Stone. If I remember correctly it's highly toxic. We should get out of here as soon as possible–Alex, what are you doing!? Get away from there," he shouted, suddenly panicked.

Alex crouched beside the stream, swaying drunkenly as he reached towards it with his bare hand. Alphonse quickly grabbed at his shoulder, determined to pull him back before he could poison himself.

"Ah!" An explosion of red sparks blinded Edward and Alphonse as they jumped violently from Alex’s body, blasting Al’s hand backwards.

Alex looked up slowly, and both brothers recoiled in shock. Alex's gentle, forest green eyes were muddled with veins of glowing red, pupils no more than shadowed, unseeing pinpricks.

"What the hell–" Ed gasped in surprise, only to gasp again when a head rush sent his vision spinning, the toxic fumes getting to him faster than he anticipated. "Al," he wheezed, "I can't breathe…" And then it was all he could do to stay upright, Alphonse moving forward to catch him with a sound of alarm.

"Brother!" He looked desperately over to Alex, who had turned back around and leaned down closer to the water. "Alex! Don't!" Alphonse snatched the back of Alex's jacket and pulled him violently away from the red water, slamming back into the concrete wall in his panic to get him away. Alex shuddered for a moment before falling still, eyes wide open and empty. Alphonse looked between the two comatose boys in fear. _What do I do, what do I do!?_

"Over here!" Light pooled into the room and an urgent voice called out. It was the boy, Fletcher, practically vibrating in an open doorway that had been previously hidden. Alphonse could barely see through the fumes, but it appeared he had some sort of brown facemask covering his eyes and mouth.

"It's you!"

"Hurry!"

Alphonse nodded and quickly scooped Alex and his brother in his arms. He staggered at the sudden onslaught of feelings from the teen with a gasp. What the…? He slammed his mental shields up as best as he was able and got the two boys out of the steaming tunnel, stumbling into the room beyond.

Fletcher quickly led Alphonse out and shut the door behind him with a snap. He led him to a room some ways away from the door and frantically began searching for something. "Fletcher, what's wrong with them?" Al stuttered. Fletcher seemed to find what he was looking for and handed one over to Alphonse, handing over a facemask similar to the one he was wearing.

"Put this on your brother," he instructed sharply as he placed the mask on Alex, who still hadn't responded to all the movement, though his eyes were wide open. Alphonse quickly complied, placing the mask over Edward's face.

Immediately, both blonds began to breathe easier. Ed came to first, opening his eyes slowly. "Brother, are you alright?" Edward didn't respond at first, taking in deep breath after deep breath of clean air.

"Al what–where am I?" His voice came out muffled, and he lifted his hand to the face mask in confusion. Fletcher shifted nervously, and golden eyes snapped to him, more clear by the second. "What is he doing here?"

Fletcher flinched. "I'm sorry," he said meekly.

"Huh? What are you sorry for, what did you do?"

"No, it's not what you did," Al said, "it's what you didn't do, right Fletcher? If you know something, tell us. I get the feeling you don't like what's going on here."

Fletcher looked stricken, but slowly nodded. "That red water you saw is a toxic substance that's been polluting the whole town. It's what's been causing the sickness that has been plaguing this place. But it's…the vital ingredient for creating the red stone…I'm so sorry…" Fletcher dropped his face into his hands and sobbed. Ed and Al glanced at each other, Ed's expression serious.

"Fletcher, you–" Ed was cut off by a muffled groan.

"Alex!" Ed and Al scrambled to the boy's side. He blinked to awareness slowly, but his irises were still alarmingly laced with the color of red water. "Ed….Al…what happened?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Ed hissed frantically. "What the hell were you thinking, getting so close to the red water? It's toxic!"

"Red water…" Alex mumbled through the mask. "What's that…?"

"Brother, I don't think he remembers.”

"What is going on here?" Ed said, running a hand through his disheveled bangs. He lifted is flesh hand to Alex's forehead to check for fever, but pulled back immediately as red sparks stung his skin, sending tingles up and down his spine. "What the…"

"That's strange," Fletcher said, peering into the barely conscious boy's magenta eyes. "I have never seen anyone react to red water like this…"

"When I was carrying him earlier, I got a bit of what he was feeling," Al said. "It was the most intense thing I have ever felt, even when I had a body. It was like every nerve was going off at once."

"What? He's in that much pain?" Ed said, alarmed.

Al shook his head. "No…I don't really know how to describe it…it felt really _really_ good…like…I don't know, having hot soup after being in the snow for hours? No, it was much more powerful than that…I've never experienced anything like it."

"What do you mean, 'it felt good'? He completely blacked out and he's lost his memory–" Ed cut himself off. "Wait a sec. Al do you remember in Lior when Alex took some kind of medicine from that woman that has been stalking him? Did he ever tell us what color it was?"

"No…you don't think it was the red stone, do you?" Al said, distressed, "Isn't it supposed to be highly toxic?"

"Yes, but Alex is…" he glanced over at Fletcher, who watched them curiously. "Alex is… a special case."

"You don't think–"

"Think about it, Al. The red stone is a powerful alchemical catalyst, an energy source."

They shared an uneasy look before Al stood suddenly. "We need to get him out of here, now!"

Ed nodded in agreement and stood as well. "First thing's first, let's demolish this lab."

"I can't let you do that," a harsh voice, startlingly loud after their hushed conversation, cut through the room. Ed whipped around to find none other than his imposter standing by the exit. He clicked his teeth in agitation. The _only_ exit. "Not after we have finally created a red stone. My father gave everything he had to this research, and we are not leaving after we have made such an amazing breakthrough."

Ed growled. "Your father wouldn't happen to be Nash Tringham would it? Did he know that the red water was polluting this town? Or maybe he was as sick as you and didn't give a damn who he hurt!" He heard Alphonse move over the still form of their barely conscious brother and shifted to stand in front of them both.

Fletcher gasped from somewhere behind him and the blond imposter grimaced in fury. He grabbed a lamp behind him and with a harsh flash of red transformed it into a sword.

Refusing to be intimidated by the boy brandishing a weapon he didn’t even seem to know how to use, Edward snapped his hands together in preparation. "Ha! A cheap sword from a cheap imitation! Let me show you what real alchemy can do!" He whipped his flesh over his automail arm, transforming the steel into a sharp blade over his fist with a pure, white light. He rushed forward with a shout, and the two blades locked together with a clash.

The boys pushed back and forth, equal in strength. Tringham’s blade cracked under Edward's and the shorter boy grinned smugly. "Heh, mine's the genuine article."

Their assailant gnashed his teeth in frustration and threw his knee into Edward’s gut, sending Ed careening back with a gasp. He stumbled into one of the benches, it's contents falling off and shattering against the floor, leaving red stains to run along the grooves in the wood. Edward jumped away from it, readying himself for another attack.

Tringham slapped his hand against the steel door behind him. It writhed, morphing into a long tube. Noxious gas filtered from it, hinting at its contents. "Back off! If you get splashed by the red water you will lose more than just your consciousness. You'll die."

Edward’s eyes sparked with fury. “Think about what you are doing, Tringham! You’re going to kill us? For what!? _Daddy’s approval?”_

“Don’t pretend to understand!” By this time Tringham's shoulders were shaking, eyes widened with mania. Edward didn’t know what this crazy kid’s deal was, and nor did he care. All he could see was a deadly weapon pointed in the direction of his brothers, and there was no way he was letting him use it. His limbs stung with adrenaline as he braced himself to move. He didn’t know what would happen to either Alphonse or Alex if that red water interfered with their unique bodies, nor did he want to find out. “You have no idea what it’s like to be abandoned, to–” Edward’s eyes flickered back and forth rapidly, scrambling for a plan to put this rambling lunatic to _sleep._

“Brother, stop!” Fletcher’s voice cut through the drama sharply, stalling whatever Edward might have done. He was right there, standing in front of his older brother, hand on the nozzle firmly and pointing it to the ground.

The older Tringham blinked, brows drawn together in annoyance. “Fletcher, what–”

Fletchers shoulders shook with nerves, but he didn’t back down in the face of his brother’s ire. "Brother…the reason dad wanted to create the red stone was to make people _happy._ This is wrong! Instead of helping others, we’re making them suffer! Dad would be ashamed of what we are doing. Don't you see, it doesn't matter who gets the credit anymore!"

Tringham lowered the nozzle, stricken. "But…This research was everything to father…we have to finish it…"

"No, you don't." Ed said strongly. "Be your own person. Your father _left_ you for this research. Causing this much trouble for someone who abandoned you and Fletcher is not worth it!"

Tringham's shoulders sagged. "No…he loved us…don't you dare–!"

Loud banging rattled the door, breaking the tension in the room. "Mr. Edward! Are you okay in there?"

"I'm fine!" Tringham shouted, snapping out of his shock. "Dammit, I told them never to bother me in here."

"Heh," Ed snorted tensely, "I guess they don't trust you as much as you thought."

Tringham growled, but didn't say anything. Fletcher pointed to a door on the other side of the room. "Quick, in here!" He gestured them into a storage closet. Ed glanced at his comatose brother and the door.

"Damn," he said angrily, lifting Alex with a grunt and carrying him inside, Alphonse following closely behind. He shot one last look at Tringham before Fletcher closed the door and threw them into darkness.

"Do you think they'll keep quiet about us?" Al whispered.

"I don't know, but we can't fight them all. Not with Alex in the condition he's in."

"Ed…what's going on…?" Alex mumbled, stirring in Edward's arms.

"Alex!" Ed whispered urgently. "Can you hear me? Do you know where you are?" Edward felt the boy shake his head.

"I can't see…"

"Yeah, we’re kinda in a closet."

"Ed," Al said suddenly. "His eyes are back to normal."

"How can you tell, it's pitch dark in here?"

"I can see in the dark."

"Oh…right."

The boys fell silent as the door outside their hiding place opened with a resounding bang. "Aaaah! What have they done to my lab?" an aged voice exclaimed, wheedling tone displeased.

"Mugear." Tringham said.

"Ah…good to see you two aren't harmed. Is the red stone damaged?" The man's voice dripped with insincerity, enough to make Edward’s skin crawl.

"No need to worry sir, it's safe."

"Good, good. But our schedule has just been tightened. We need to move straight into our contingency plan."

"But sir," Tringham sounded alarmed. "There is no need for that! We have been making excellent progress!"

In the closet, Alex finally sat up and shook his head, the fog clearing from his mind thanks to the filtering mask. "What–"

Alphonse and Edward shushed him, listening intently.

"Brother," they heard Fletcher say, "what does he mean by contingency plan?"

"Fletcher–"

"What, you mean you haven't told him?" Mugear said cruelly, and Edward grit his teeth in anger.

"No–"

"The plan is to insert the red water into pregnant women. It permeates their placenta, a factory of biological condensing. Once the process is complete, we take the product and transmute it into a stone."

"What the hell…?" Alex exclaimed.

They heard Fletcher gasp. "Brother, you didn't–"

"No! I never! You shut up–" Tringham shouted.

"You know, there was once another alchemist who wouldn't do what I told him. He had to be…taken care of."

"What–You–What is that–Aagh!" Underneath the door, the boys saw a flash of red light, and they tensed in alarm when they heard the Tringhams' scream.

"You like it? With this machine, even a non-alchemist like myself has options. You think I'm a fool don't you? You think that I don't know that the true Edward Elric has an automail arm, or that you two are the sons of Nash Tringham! Now, do as I say, and implement phase two!"

A tense silence filled the air, and Edward seriously wondered whether Tringham would accept. "Just tell me one thing, Mugear," Tringham eventually spoke, fury shaking his voice. "Did my father ever use that method on anyone?"

"…No. At the last minute the fool had a crisis of morality."

"And you killed him, didn't you!?"

"That's right, and I'll do the same to you and your precious brother if you don't cooperate."

"GO TO HELL–Aaagh!"

Edward had had enough. He slammed the door open and strode out. "Elegantly put."

Ed's golden eyes flickered around the room, taking in the scene. An old man was holding some kind of glass bowl full of red water. He was pointing it at the Tringham's, who had been bound and thrown to the floor.

"What the–Who are you?" the old man spluttered.

"Oh, no one, just the _real_ Edward Elric." Ed came to a stop and his brothers stood behind him in solidarity.

Like donning a mask, Mugear’s surprise slipped from his visage to be replaced with a oily smile that made Edward’s skin crawl. Tch. Different place, same shit. He didn’t think he would ever understand adults. "Ah, so you are! Looks like I won't be needing you boys after all," Mugear said to the Tringhams cruelly. He turned to Edward. "What do you say, Mr. Elric? I heard you were interested in the philosopher's stone. The red stone is a prototype for the real thing." Ed grimaced in disgust. "If you were to help me, I'm sure–"

"If you think," Alex said harshly, taking a threatening step forward. Edward took a step to the side, startled at the raw anger in his voice. "That we would help you," he stepped forward again, and Alphonse gasped, spotting something that Alex clearly hadn't.

"Alex, wait!"

"–help you murder _women and unborn children_ ," he took another step forward and Al tried to stop him, but a red spark blew his hand back. "–to finish you fucking _greed project_ –" the enraged teen pulled out his tonfa, and Mugear retreated, frightened, "then that's the last mistake you will ever make in your life!"

Alex surged forward and stepped right into the puddle of red water on the floor.

"Alex, NO!" Ed cried, trying to reach Alex, but they were all thrown back as, with a scream, Alex absorbed a maelstrom of crimson power, the red water in the room violently reacting to his touch. Electricity arched and burned everything in its path in scorching black, Alex’s howls drowned out by a ripping wind. Alphonse threw his metal arm over Edward, protecting his vulnerable brother from the storm, and all the smaller boy could do was hold on.

The wind calmed with a final electric burst, and Edward frantically pushed Al's arm out of the way and tried to see Alex through the steam. Alex crouched on the floor, holding himself tightly and twitching with every residual surge of power. Ed tried to go to him, but froze when Alex stood. Alex opened his eyes, and the irises that had just begun to turn back to their natural green glowed red, even in the bright light of the fluorescents. Alex looked over at Edward and Alphonse slowly, and for the first time Edward and Alphonse locked gazes with their adopted brother...and felt fear.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What, you didn't think I'd stick to canon did you? Never ;) Let's see what we can mess with hehehehehehhehehee...  
> Alex. We need to talk about your addiction. *taps foot sternly*  
> Poor boys just can't catch a break. Also, Alphonse has apparently never felt anything more pleasurable than hot stew on a frozen day. My innocent metal bb XD. Stay pure.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex blacks out.

I rose slowly as the last of the red sparks faded away. I felt good.  _ Really _ good. I felt…powerful. Nerves tingling, every few seconds another wave of pleasure rushed through my blood, sending shudders up and down my spine and the sweetest of flavors on my tongue. I let out a low groan as I straightened, stretching like a cat in the sun.

I no longer felt that haze that had been plaguing me the past few days, thoughts clear as crystal, sharper than normal even. It was like this door had opened and my thoughts ran at light speed, cataloguing every sensation I experienced in exquisite detail. My vision was sharper. My blood pumped stronger. And I felt like I could take down a building with my bare hands.

Movement to my left caught my attention, a shuffle of sound that I reacted to slowly, still riding on the addicting high of what was quickly becoming my favorite sensation.

A boy stood next to a suit of armor, holding his hand out as if to reach me.  _ Edward _ , my mind supplied. I looked into the armor's eyes, and he flinched.  _ Alphonse _ .

"Alex," the suit said, but I ignored him, thoughts running too fast for anything to hold my attention long. I examined the room slowly, taking in everything as if I had been born anew, and before I had only been able to see dull shades of sepia. Now I saw in a haze of red, the world enhanced with shades of fire. 

Two vaguely familiar boys lay bound on the floor on the far side of the room, and they stared at me with wide eyes, but I ignored them also. I observed the tables with science equipment on them, red water and stones gleaming in the fluorescent light.

_ Hunger. _

Compelled by an instinct I didn’t understand, I drifted towards one of the benches of beautiful glittering red, reaching for the first vial of red water.

"Y-you monster!" A wheedling voice broke me from my fugue and paused at the disturbance. A stout old man, wrinkled face contorted in fury and fear, gasped as my eyes locked onto his, unfeeling. "G-get the hell away from my red stones!"

He lifted a glass globe as if it were a pistol, aiming for my heart. I felt nothing at his threat, mildly confused, until I noticed the enticing red liquid inside, washing the globe with crimson and running back down like the legs of a fine red wine. I licked my lips and he flinched at my approach, pulling something from his pocket only to drop it into the concoction. The air crackled with power that I felt in every follicle on my body, shivering as the bowl glowed a bright red, morphing into the barrel of a gun. 

Desperate shouts rang behind me, but I tuned them out. The entire world had slowed, and when the bullets came, I fell to the side. As if underwater, I felt the currents pass me by. Less than a second later, I was in the old man's face, his arm gripped in my hand forcefully. Blood seemed to rush through me as the appendage in my grip it turned to dust and gore with an easy flex of my fingers. 

He screamed. I shook my head slightly as if ridding myself of a fly, the sound harsh and obnoxious to my enhanced senses.

"Alex!" As the man fell before me, writhing on the floor, I looked over to the one who had shouted.

"Ed…" I said, voice sounding loud to my ears. He stood with his hands hovering inches from each other, about to clap, but he hesitated, pupils dilated in equal parts fear and concern. He looked…terrified.

_ Why is he afraid…?  _ I wondered vaguely.

"Alex," Alphonse intoned calmly, posture nonthreatening and hands placating. "Please let go of him."

I looked back down apathetically at the shuddering old man. Tears and slime streamed down his pinched face and a very unpleasant smell came from him, as if he had defecated himself. I let his shattered arm go, heedless of the blood covering my palm, slightly disgusted.

The man scrambled back as if fleeing the devil and ran from the room, clutching his arm to his chest.

I didn’t watch him leave, noticing in stead that my hands were distressingly empty. Ah, there they were. I walked over and picked up my tonfa from the floor, marveling how they gleamed in the light.

"Alex?" I could hear Edward approach cautiously, and turned to regard him with a small smile. "Are you okay?" He put a hand on my shoulder, and I wondered what he meant. Of course I was okay. I felt great! I leaned into his touch, but his worry didn’t ease.

"Elric!" a voice shouted from the other side of the room, the older of the two bound young men struggling in his bonds. Ed jumped badly at the interruption. "You're letting Mugear get away!" 

"Mugear…" I said to myself slowly. "Mugear…" I tensed, smile dimming as any good feelings rushed from my body. 

Edward backed away. "Alex…?"

_ "The plan is to insert the red water into pregnant women. It permeates their placenta, a factory of biological condensing. Once the process is complete, we take the product and transmute it into a stone." _

I grimaced in anger.

_ "Looks like I won't be needing you boys after all. What do you say, Mr. Elric?" _

My teeth ground together, heartbeat pumping erratically.

_ "You know, there was once another alchemist who wouldn't do what I told him. He had to be…taken care of. I'll do the same to you and your precious brother if you don't cooperate!" _

"Alex!"

I whipped my tonfa to the side, faster than I ever had before, and Edward barely blocked with his automail arm, metal against metal clanging deafeningly in the room. The strength behind the blow was such that a rush of wind burst from my weapon, blowing Edward back with a startled cry. He slammed into the wall, but I wasn't paying attention.

Fury pooled in my gut like molten lava as I stared after where Mugear had disappeared. "Mugear…" I growled, the name feeling foul on my tongue. Without a backwards glance I ran into the next room, immediately taking in more than I had ever been able to before. I easily tracked him to a trapdoor in the floor and flung it open, tearing the door off the hinge. Below it a stair lead into darkness and I jumped them three at a time, having no trouble seeing in the dim light.

Voices echoed behind me, but I had focus only for one thing. I sprinted down the tunnel, seeing my quarry stumbling at the end. All I could think was  _ punishment,  _ an instinct I never knew I had compelling me forward in a swift stalk _. _

My prey looked over his shoulder as I was almost upon him and whimpered in fear. He lifted his device with a shaking hand, and I was momentarily blinded by a flash of red, finding a wall blocking my path when my vision cleared. I didn’t hesitate or slow. I slamming my weapons into the obstruction. The surface of the wall crumbled like so much dry clay beneath my fury. I slammed them a second time and the tunnel around me shifted dangerously as another section of the wall came down.

I could hear a buzzing behind me. "–going to take the whole tunnel down!"

"Stand back–"

I was about to bring my tonfa down for a third time, but in a flash of blue light the obstacle was suddenly gone. I moved forward with a victorious snarl, but was jerked back by my coat as a loud percussion blasted in front of me, a projectile hitting the tunnel behind with a bang.

My prey stood at the other end of an underground chamber, standing behind a medieval looking cannon, a stream of red water running beneath his feet. Reinvigorated by the new rush of sparking energy, I grinned under the respiration mask still obscuring my face and stepped forward. I had him right where I wanted him. Bringing a tonfa above my head, my vision narrowed sharply on the prey before me. 

_ I will destroy you! _

I tensed, and the man screamed, but with a resounding crack the ground shifted violently beneath my feet, throwing me off balance. I looked up just in time to see that the ceiling buckle and jumped back as a ton of rock rained down in a violent slide. When the dust cleared, I realized the reason for my fury was crushed, stolen from me by unsettled stone. I growled at the loss of my revenge, but nothing could be done for it now. Shards of rock began to strike me in the face, and though the small cuts healed instantly in flashes of red sparks, I still felt the pain. With one last look I spun on my heel and ran back the way I’d come.

As I ran, I finally noticed the others following me. I glanced behind, but a wave of dizziness warped the world in static. My feet slowed and I cringed as my head ached sharply. What the…what am I doing? Red tones sifted back to the cool shades of the darkened tunnel, and my strength drained as abruptly as it had come, leaving me trembling and weak.

I stumbled, but before I could fall I was lifted bodily from the ground and carried by what felt like a band of steel, sharp planes of metal digging into my sides painfully. I looked up blearily in surprise, but could barely see through the dust. "Wha- Al?" I slurred

"I've got Alex," he shouted, gesturing ahead of us. "Go!" Edward’s shout of acknowledgement was almost impossible to hear through the din, but I could see the tail of his coat flashing around the corner. I closed my eyes, nausea gripping me. 

We ran for a few more tense seconds and I clutched onto Al's arm, disoriented and terrified. Al and I burst out of the trapdoor just as the tunnel behind us collapsed completely. The floor buckled and Al continued to run, carrying me out of the mansion and into the surrounding forest.

"Al, what the hell–"

"Sorry, no time to explain! Brother!" he shouted into the surrounding trees.

"I'm here," Ed called. Al ran to the top of the hill where Edward stood, looking intently at the collapsing mansion. The Tringhams stood beside him, panting for breath with wide eyes.

Edward turned abruptly and strode over to Al and I, a severe expression pinching his fair brow. He grabbed my chin roughly and I grunted in protest. "Your eyes are still red," he said, and I frowned, confused. "Can you understand me now?"

"Yeah, Ed, what–"

"Brother, the mansion is sinking into the ground! The red water is going to poison the town if we don’t do something!"

Edward released me and spun around with a curse. Indeed, where the mansion once stood lay only a pile of rubble, swiftly sinking into the tunnels below and staining crimson as red water leaked from the new crevices in the earth. Soon enough, the toxic water would flow into the down below, killing everything in its path.

"Dammit!" Ed groaned. “How are we going to drain this?" 

“I can drain it,” Fletcher spoke up calmly, stepping forward with a grimace of determination. 

“Fletcher,” Tringham protested immediately. “That alchemy is experimental. You could end up killing yourself!” 

“Then what  _ should _ we do, Russel!” Fletcher snapped, uncharacteristically harsh. Russel took a step a back, stunned, as if the younger boy had never used that tone with him. Maybe he hadn’t, but it didn’t look to me like Fletcher regretted it. His blue eyes sparked fiercely. “This is  _ our _ fault. If it hadn’t been for us,  _ none _ of this would have happened!” He turned his eyes to each of us in turn. “While brother was working for Mugear, I was working on something to stop the red water in case it ever got out of control. I...I can’t do it alone though,” he said, suddenly meek. “Will you help?”

Edward’s eyes softened. “You got it. Al, make sure Alex stays put.” 

“Hey!” I protested, shifting uncomfortably. Alphonse’s determination filtered through our bond, almost as potent as his relief, and he tightened his grip. 

“I’ve got him.”

Grumbling, I held still, watching with interest as Fletcher walked up to a tree, pulling a small piece of chalk from his green overalls and drawing rapidly. After a few tense seconds, he stepped back, looking guilelessly over his shoulder at his older brother. “Brother? This looks right, doesn’t it?” I got the feeling he didn’t need a second opinion, but it did seem to pull Tringham out of his shock. He blinked, worry plain on his face as he stepped forward to examine it. 

“Yeah,” he breathed, wonder infusing his voice. “Yeah, this should work. I had no idea you’d gotten this far…” He gave Fletcher a disbelieving look before smiling widely, all animosity draining from him until nothing was left but pride. 

Fletcher grinned in response. “Are you ready?” He looked between both blond young men, who gave each other dirty looks before nodding as one and placing their hands on the transmutation circle. “Okay, here we go!” and Fletcher placed his hand between theirs, lighting the circle in a flash of emerald.

Starting at the base, the trees in the surrounding area began turning the color of blood, growing taller as if time had fast forwarded hundreds of years in a moment, the wood creaking as it swelled.

"They’re absorbing the red water," Ed said in awe. Indeed, every tree in the surrounding forest within a mile radius was growing, filling like a thermometer on a hot day, the rivers of toxic water was siphoning into their expanding trunks. "He's using the trees to purify the water."

Fletcher suddenly collapsed to his knees, and Ed lurched in alarm, but the older Tringham beat him to it. Russel gently held Fletcher steady, not taking his concentration from the work as Fletcher did the same, though his knees shook beneath him.

"See, Russel," Fletcher said tiredly, "it does work." Russel smiled faintly, a proud shine in his eyes.

"Sorry trees," Fletcher said sadly, and in a stunning transition, the trees transformed into the clearest blue I had ever seen. They shimmered beautifully in the sun as if they’d become faceted with gems, and my brothers and I gazed at them in awe. They stood tall, like obelisks made of blue sapphire, and then with a tinkling cascade collapsed in waves of glimmering stone and a rush of wind.

The five of us stood still in the sudden silence, taking in the sight of the new field of sky blue gemstones sparkling in the sun.

Ed picked up one of the gems, inspecting it closely. "Well, I'd say this town's financial troubles are over…" he mused.

Russel grunted from his position on the ground, collapsed next to his brother. Fletcher was asleep on his lap, exhausted from the transmutation, and he pet his hair gently. "Good job, little bro," he whispered.

"Um, this is sweet and all, but can you  _ please _ put me down now?" I pleaded. Alphonse's emotions were starting to overwhelm me and I was pretty sure he was bruising my sides. Ed ignored me in favor of Al.

"How does he feel?"

"Back to normal, I think. I can't feel any trace of that feeling from earlier."

"Hello, I think I can speak for myself here!"

Ed walked up to me and grabbed my face again, this time more gently. He sighed in relief. "Your eyes are green."

"Well, yeah," I muttered, confused. "Been that way since birth."

Alphonse gently put me down and I took a huge lungful of air, grateful to be able to breathe again. Standing on my own two feet, I shook the numbness from my limbs. "So are you guys going to fill me in? What the hell happened?" Vague images filtered through my head, but I couldn’t remember much except for being very angry. "What happened to Mugear?"

Ed took off the facemask he had been wearing and glanced over at Al questioningly. Al shrugged his shoulders. I realized then that I was still wearing a facemask as well and lifted my hand to take it off, but Al gently stopped me.

"Russel," he asked, "is the red water completely gone?"

"It should be," Russel huffed. "That alchemy was something Fletcher had been working on for a while. It would have absorbed all of the red water underground as well as the fumes in the air."

Al nodded and took the mask off for me. I frowned uncomfortably at the mixture of emotions in his touch, a little thrill of trepidation running up my spine. "Guys, you’re starting to scare me."

Edward took a deep breath, and with one last glance at Al, faced me. I noticed a hint of fear in his eyes, and mine widened. “You stepped into red water. The reaction was...violent, and then you attacked Mugear. Don’t you remember?”

"No..." I whispered, looking down at my hands. They trembled lightly as I tried to force myself to remember through the fog in my mind, but found that I couldn’t recall much. Images of the events flashed before my eyes, but it was as if I observed them through a poor quality television. It was hard to make sense of, but slowly events began to piece together in my head. My hands began to shake in earnest as with startling clarity, I suddenly remembered how it felt to break Mugear's arm in my grip, a stain of russet red between my fingers visible through the grime.

I gasped, face crumbling in horror as fear burned my throat, memories coming back to me in a rush. I looked desperately at Edward to confirm, and he gave me a grim look in response. I clenched my hands tightly, spinning from them as nausea took me, collapsing to the ground with a heave. My ears rushed, and I could hear muffled shouting but couldn’t focus on it as my body rebelled against what I knew had happened, though nothing came up from my empty stomach, just stinging acid. A hand ran up and down my back as I gasped, but the distinct memory of what it felt like to crush someone’s bones in my grip had me heaving all over again. 

I don’t know how much time passed in my panic, but it couldn’t have been more than a few moments when Edward lifted my face between gentle hands, golds glinting in concern as I uncurled from my crouched position. I realized that it was Alphonse’s hand against my spine when a wave of soothing energy calmed my frantically beating heart. “Alex, shh, it’s okay.”

“E-Ed–how can you say that!? Wh-what happened to me, I–”

“Alex, listen to me,  _ none _ of this was your fault. There was no way to know how the red water would affect you,” Edward said gently. “It’s not your fault,” he reiterated strongly when I continued to tremble. 

With a slow nod, I forced myself to take deep breaths. After a couple minutes, my heartrate had slowed to normal, brothers staying close until I could breathe easy. Eventually I relaxed back against Alphonse with a sigh, the metal boy sitting behind me and sharing his serenity, no matter that it was tinged with worry.

Wiping my hand on my shirt as if it could erase what I did, I looked to Edward beseechingly. “Ed, what happened? I don’t understand…”

“We think,” Alphonse started slowly, “that the red water acted as a catalyst for your body because of the unique way you were born. You absorbed its energy, and it gave you strength.”

“But...why don’t I remember?” I fretted.

“It could have overloaded your system,” Edward mused. “You’ve never come in contact with it before, so it should have been...what?” He paused as realization lit my features, memories of the distinct feeling of power rushing through my veins sparking another memory, one from not too long ago.

“But I did,” I said, alarmed. “That woman, the one who saved me. She gave me red stones, guys. Do you think they could have been–”

“Actual red stones?” Edward said grimly. 

I slapped a hand to my forehead with a groan. "She must have known exactly how they would have affected me. God, I shouldn’t have trusted her...I feel like such an  _ idiot. _ "

Edward was gracious enough to not say the ‘I told you so’ clearly on the tip of his tongue. Which was good, since I didn’t think I could handle it at the moment. Instead, he rubbed a soothing hand on my arm and I leaned into it, comforted.

"We need to keep you away from anything having to do with the red stone."

"No shit! I could have killed you!" My eyes stung, avoiding his gaze guiltily. I had wielded so much impossible power, and worse, went completely out of control. If the red water hadn't been as weak as it was…I shuddered, teeth clenching painfully.

"No," Al said. "I don't think you would have."

"Al, I attacked Edward! Who knows what will happen next time–"

"There isn't going to  _ be _ a next time," Ed said strongly. "We won't let you come in contact to any red stone or red water ever again, okay?"

"...Promise?" I whispered.

"I promise."

Fear still tightened my throat at the thought of what would happen to me, and worse, what I would do to those around me if I lost control like that again. But I had to believe that Ed and Al would protect me from that fate. 

Still, something niggled at me, something that had been bothering me since Lior. I put voice to it.

"What about that woman though? First she rescues me from Tucker, then she heals my hand with a red stone, and now we find out that I just  _ happen _ to turn into an uncontrollable monster when I absorb too much of the stuff? What does she want with me?" And worse than that, “How did she  _ know _ ?”

None of us had the answer to that question.

"...She was also probably the one who gave Cornello that fake philosopher’s stone. I wonder what her plan is." Al said, troubled.

"No idea," Ed shrugged with a weary sigh. "We'll just have to deal with it if she ever shows up again."

"Yeah…" Something a lot bigger than us was going on, and I was starting to get seriously worried that we were right in the middle of it.

-o0o-

It was evening, and the train whistled merrily in the lengthening shadows. Ed, Al and I were finally leaving Xenotime, Fletcher and Russel there to see us off. It had only been a couple hours since the events at Mugear’s mansion, and though Alphonse fretted that we should stay another night so I could get some proper rest after all that drama, I declined. There was no way I wanted to stay another night in this place, not with the haunting remains of the red water’s song still lingering in the air. 

We sat once more on the all too familiar uncomfortable train benches, the Tinghams standing outside of our train window with bright smiles. Well, as bright as the elder Tringham ever seemed to get. He seemed like a sombre sort to me, but then again, I hadn’t known him for long. Maybe someday I would, but for now–

"I'm really going to miss you guys," Fletcher said, looking at us with his large puppy eyes.

"Aw," I cooed. "We'll miss you too, Fletcher."

"Thanks for letting us borrow your names, even though we never really asked, heh." He scratched the back of his head, smiling ruefully before brightening. "Here, I have a present for you." A glimmer of blue passed from his reaching hand to Edwards, my brother holding the object up to reveal one of the blue gems Fletcher had created with his incredible alchemy. "I had it faceted for you the second you said you were leaving. Sorry there was only time for one, but we had to give you something.”

Russel patted his baby brother on the head, proud gleam to his eyes. “Production of the gems is going to start up next week. Xenotime will be back to normal in no time thanks to you three."

Edward smirked. "I think you deserve more of the credit than we do, but thanks. So Russel, you think you two are going to make it in this town?" 

Russel smirked in kind. "Yes, I believe so. The townspeople were so grateful that we created a new means of economy that they gave us a huge share of the gems, so we're basically set for life."

"Heh, nice. Don't go getting too high class on me, your head is already too big as it is."

The tall teen chuckled, but then his expression turned serious. "Are you still going to search for the philosopher's stone?"

Edward glanced at Alphonse and I with a thoughtful frown. He turned back to Russel. "Yeah," he said with a cocky grin.

"Well, I've got a bit of information for you then." The three of us leaned forward in interest. "A few years ago a man came through here, and supposedly he was able to heal the sickness caused by the red water. They say he healed with a flash of red light."

"Really…"

Russel nodded. "I'm afraid I can't tell you any more than that, since he never told anyone what his name was. I hope that helps you, at least a little."

The train whistled again, and the conductor called for all aboard.

"One more thing," Russel continued. "I'm really sorry for giving you so much attitude when you first got here. I'll try to be a better brother to Fletcher, just like you are to yours.” He glanced at Alphonse and me with a mischievous smile. “I guess you being a  _ year older _ than me makes all the difference."

"What!" Ed exclaimed. Before he could continue though, the train pulled out of the station and we watched as the two boys waved goodbye. Xenotime disappeared over the hills as Edward fumed while Alphonse and I giggled at his expense.

"I can't believe he’s a year younger than me and so much taller! Life’s so unfair."

"Yeah, well, I kind of feel like a pedophile now for thinking he was so attractive. But alas, he’s way too young for me…" I joked.

Ed snorted. He held up the small gem Fletcher had given us consideringly, then pulled up his sleeve on his automail arm. With a flash, he transmuted a small piece of steel from one of the plates and placed it next to the gem on the bench beside him.

"What are you doing, brother?" Al asked as we both watched curiously. Ed just grinned and continued what he was doing. He clapped his hands together, touching the piece of steel and gem lightly and they began to mold together before our eyes.

"Oh, wow," I whispered as I took in the final product. Sitting on the bench was a perfect replica of Izumi's symbol that both Alphonse and Edward wore on their person, about half an inch long. At the T of the cross and nestled in the curve of the winding snake, the blue gem sat and sparkled in the sunset's light. I gaped at the delicate artistry, almost afraid that if I touched it it would shatter.

"It's an earring," Ed said, holding up his creation without any of the delicacy with which I might have handled it, proving it to be more sturdy than it looked. "I thought that you should wear the same symbol as us since you're, you know…our brother." He blushed. "And since you like jewelry…"

Gently, I took the earring from him, touched beyond belief that he’d remembered that. "Ed, I…"

"Don't mention it," he grumbled, avoiding my eyes. Alphonse chuckled and placed a hand on my shoulder, sending the warmth of his protective spirit through our bond, and it was clear that he felt the same way as Edward. My eyes watered a bit. Even though I had attacked Edward, and even though I might lose control again, they still accepted me. I touched the gleaming metal in my hand, and I felt loved. 

"Thanks so much guys…” And then I smiled, a dash of impishness giving Edward pause. “Juuust one thing. My ears aren't pierced." I pulled the stub off the pointed needle of the earring and held it in front of my eyes with a manic grin. "Want to help?" Both boys cringed away with shouts of panic and I laughed uproariously at their scared expressions. Maybe we were in the middle of something dangerous, and maybe I would one day lose control again, but if there was one thing I hoped would never change, it was that we three would be together till the very end.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so dramatic....I love it. Poor Alex, he's starting to realize he isn't quite as human as he thought ;) Also, Lust, what do you know? Hm, I wonder...
> 
> I know I've been caught up in my other work Hack lately, but this story really is my first love. One day, I will finish you, my baby...
> 
> Lemme know what you think!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex gets a new friend. Maybe two.

"I  _ hate _ rain," Ed grumbled as we ran through the streets of Central, arms shielding our heads from the incessant moisture. After months of traveling around on military business, we’d finally made it back to Central City, only for it to rain buckets on our heads.

"You wouldn't hate rain so much if you took better care of your automail, brother," Al said, voice even as we panted in exertion.

"I  _ do.  _ It’s just really hard to maintain it when we spend half the time on a train. Besides, I hate it when people stare."

"They're not staring at  _ you.”  _ I joked, trying to lighten the mood. “Why would they look at a nobody like you when they have me to gaze at." We stopped under an overhang as the rain began to pick up and Ed started to ring out his hair, golden strands darkened and soaked.

"You have some ego, you know that?" he snorted, wiping his lank hair out of his eyes.

"Don't hate me ‘cause I'm beautiful," I sang back, shaking out my drenched coat. They wouldn’t get it, but the reference still made me smile. 

"He gets it from me," Al quipped.

"What, his looks or his sass?"

"Both."

“It’s a talent,” I sighed, brushing my hair back with a flutter.

“Well, good think you’re face is prettier than your singing.”

“Hey!” 

We all shared a laugh, moods bright despite the weather. Every mission we’d gone on so far had been successful, in one way or another. Well, except for that small hiccup in Aquroya, but I'm pretty sure Ed never wanted to talk about that one again. The way Ed blushed when Psiren gave him a kiss on the cheek before getting away was absolutely priceless. Ah, my little big brother was growing up…

"Meew."

We all paused as a small sound interrupted Ed and my thumb wars battle, which we’d been playing to pass the time till the rain stopped. It was a good thing too, since I was losing. Stupid automail user.

"What was that?" Al asked, looking around. He’d been leaning against the wall, arms crossed and one leg over the other, but stood when the sound came again.

"No idea. A cat maybe," Ed said, getting to his feet.

"Meew…"

"It's coming from over there." Al walked to an alley nearby, rain pattering off his armor. Ed sighed. 

"Al, this better not be another one of your stray pickups. You know we can't keep it no matter how cute it is, right?"

"I know, I know. I just want to make sure it's not in trouble. There you are–oh!" Al backed away. "Um, guys, I think you may want to take a look at this," he said slowly.

Exchanging a look, Ed and I walked over as well, Ed grumbling about the rain again. When we reached where Al stood I recoiled in shock, heart leaping as unpleasant memories assaulted me. There, lying on the ground in a puddle in the filthy alleyway, was a chimera.

The admittedly small creature seemed feline in appearance, but instead of wet fur it sported tiny green scales shining slickly in the rain. No bigger than a kitten, its long, curiously reptilian tail spanned a length and a half of its body, curling at the end like a chameleon. The creature shivered in the cold, eyes closed. My first instinct was to get as far away from it as possible, so I stepped back cautiously. I didn’t care how tiny it was, I want nothing to do with it.

Al crouched down, heedless of Edward’s and my tension. "Al, get away from that thing!" 

"But it's hurt…" He picked up the small shivering chimera and held it to his chest. It twitched but otherwise didn't respond.

"Don't be an idiot, it could be dangerous," Ed protested.

"Look at it, brother. It's weak from cold. There's no way it could do anything to me. Besides, it looks no more dangerous than a cat. Are you saying that just because it's a chimera it's inherently evil?"

Edward paused, and I could tell he was reading more into that statement than Alphonse probably intended. Were we going to judge it by the way it was created? That would be a _ mite _ hypocritical. "Well, no…"

"Look at this face!” Alphonse cooed. “You’re not going to hurt me, are you, little guy? You probably just escaped from a mean alchemist."

Slowly, I approached Al, curious. Well, it didn't  _ look _ like the other chimeras I’d seen, which had all been contorted in agony, dangerous in their pain. Obviously, whoever created this little guy was more talented than Tucker had been, the thing looking weak, but not grotesque as they had been. Al was right, it didn't appear any more dangerous than a house cat.

It shivered and Al looked down at it in concern. "It's part reptile, so it probably can't regulate its body temperature. Can one of you warm it up?"

Ed and I glanced at each other uncertainly. He shook his head stubbornly and I examined its tiny face again. It  _ was _ rather cute… Carefully, I took the chimera from Alphonse and brought it to my chest, its tiny limbs limp and waking some motherly instinct in me that I hadn’t felt in ages. Instantly at my warm touch, it began to wriggle into my body heat, eyes popping open with a mewl. “Whoa, hey,” I protested, but it slipped from my grip and burrowed beneath my shirt faster than I could react.

"Gah!" For a second I panicked, thinking it might bite me. It wriggled underneath my clothes and I shuddered as the strange creature clung to my skin with curiously sticky paws and fell still. "Mew…" it whimpered.

Bewildered, I pulled up my damp shirt and looked down as the two boys watched me curiously. The little creature seemed to have fallen instantly asleep where it clung to my chest, its shivering ceasing the longer it remained. Its long reptilian tail wrapped partway around my waist and seemed to help it stay put. I poked at it curiously, but it wouldn’t budge, as if determined to merge with my skin. Still, it wasn’t hurting me, so I left it be.

"Oookay," I said, letting my shirt fall and staring at the lump in my clothes oddly.

"Awe, it likes you," Al giggled.

"Yeah, but what the hell am I supposed to  _ do _ with it?"

"Get rid of it," Ed said immediately. "Having a chimera will only cause us trouble, and the way we travel so much, we couldn't care for it anyway. Besides, someone went to the trouble of making it and is probably looking for it. Whoever it is, there's no way I want to get involved."

"Yeah, but…" I wrapped my arms around the small lump against my chest. "It’ll die in this rain…"

"Then once it stops raining, let it go."

"Brother, that's heartless! What if the alchemist that's looking for it is a bad person? It could get experimented on or worse!"

My mind flashed back to Tucker's lab and I shivered, causing the small critter to cling to all the tighter. I wrapped my arms around it protectively. There was no way any living creature should go through that… but Ed was right. Even if we somehow had the means to care for it, it would have a better chance of escaping capture on its own. We just drew too much attention.

"Just till the rain stops," I said, breaking into their argument. "Then we'll find a forest or something to release it, ok?"

The two brothers stopped their bickering, considering the compromise. They nodded as one and we continued on our way to the base, plus one small chameleon cat.

-o0o-

Meandering through the halls of Central Command on our way to see Mustang, Ed and I toweled our hair, trying to get dry after what seemed like hours in the wet night. I tugged at my bangs in annoyance. My hair was getting pretty long. I would have to cut it soon…

"Well look who it is!" an exuberant voice greeted us from down the hall.

"Hughes," I said happily. The black haired officer bounced towards us, but before Edward could get a word in, Hughes shoved a tiny white square in his face.

"I know just what will cheer you boys up! Look at how adorable my little Elicia is! She's almost one and she is starting to look just like mommy!" He exclaimed, as if continuing a conversation we’d had the other day, rather than several months ago.

Ed crossed his eyes tried to see the picture practically on top of his nose. "That's…great…". I chuckled as Hughes swung the picture around to me. A little girl with cute brown pigtails and green eyes played merrily with a doll, no doubt a gift from her obsessed father, smiling brightly at the camera. I remembered that last time I’d seen the tyke she’d just been born. I’d been a little distraught at the time, so I resolved to meet her properly while I was in town now that I had the chance.

Hughes gushed about his little girl for a few minutes while Ed grumbled and I smiled crookedly at his passion. I knew if I’d been a mother, I might’ve been just as enthused as he was, so I listened good-naturedly.

"But enough that photo, I've got another to show you." Hughes switched tracks, pulling out another picture for Edward, who took it with resignation.

"Oh," he said, surprised, a small, sad smile tugging at his lips. "That's great." With a look I couldn’t quite interpret, he handed the picture to me.

I forgot how to breathe. 

Holding little Elicia in her arms was a small girl no older than six, her face as familiar to me as my own after the seasons we’d spent together in that big quiet house what seemed like a lifetime ago. The reminder made me ache fiercely, like a phantom limb acting up long after it had been severed. 

_ Nina.  _

She wore a small, sad smile, a shadow of the big grins she used to give, but she at least looked healthy. I flashed back to how I’d seen her last, unconscious and covered in blood on top of her dead best friend. I closed my eyes tightly against the memories, glad, that she looked to be doing well physically, at least.

I brought the picture gently to my heart and held it close. Thank goodness. She’d been in the back of my mind ever since we left Central all those months ago. I felt so relieved that she was doing ok…

"How is she?" Al asked while I took a silent moment to compose myself.

"She's doing as well as can be expected," Hughes said with a small shrug. "For the first several weeks with us, no one could get her to smile and she barely ate anything at all. She still hasn't spoken a word to anyone since the incident, but she’s started to behave a bit more normally thanks to my darling Elicia's cuteness and Gracia's care. I think that with a little more time she should improve, and with how young she is there’s a chance she may forget completely."

"I hope so," I said softly. I would give anything to forget what happened that night.

"So have you found her family?" Al asked.

"Yes, but…"

"What is it?" Ed frowned.

"Well, y’see, Tucker's family renounced him as a son when he was a teen and want nothing to do with the child. After some investigation, we confirmed that Tucker's wife had been the talking chimera he made.” He fell silent for a moment, eyes distant and disturbed, and the three of us exchanged grim looks, worst fears confirmed.  “As you can imagine, after that discovery her family wanted nothing to do with Nina either. I'm afraid she may have to go to an orphanage soon…"

"Couldn't you keep her?" I asked desperately. Growing up in an orphanage could be tough, and I didn't want that for Nina. Right now she needed a family in order to heal.

"I considered it. After all, she's almost as cute as my Elicia! Problem is, usually the military doesn’t allow its own to adopt the children in cases like these, so it would be really tough for me to get custody."

My shoulders slumped in disappointment. "But…"

Hughes smiled gently, glasses glinting as he tilted his head reassuringly. "Don't worry, I'm working on it. Even if I can't adopt her, I’ll be sure to find her a family that’ll raise her well so she won't be at an orphanage for long." I nodded in acceptance, because what else could I do?  _ I _ couldn’t be her guardian, after all, though I would have done it in a heartbeat. I would just have to believe that Hughes would pull through.

Hughes patted me on the shoulder. "Why don't you boys stay with me while you’re in Central? That way you can visit with Nina."

"I don't know…" I said uncertainly, stomach sinking. It was one thing to look at a picture to make sure she was ok, but I was scared of actually seeing her again. What if she blamed me for what happened?

"Sure," Ed said with a smile. My head snapped around, betrayed. He nudged me in the side. "Don't be such a worry wart, it’ll be fine. I promise she doesn't blame you."

"How do you know?" I grumbled. He just shook his head.

"Great! I'll have Gracia set the table for three more!" With that, the exuberant father strolled off, leaving us to continue to Mustang's office in silence.

As we trudged down the hall, still shivering a bit from our damp clothes, I felt a stirring from beneath my shirt. "Oh, are you awake little guy?" I looked under my collar and my passenger managed to chirp but still didn’t open its eyes. My heart trembled a little at the tiny flash of pink tongue between it’s green lips. I always did have a soft spot for cats...

"How’s it doing?" Al asked, looking over my shoulder.

"Ah, Al! You should know better than to look down a lady's shirt! I never knew you were such an  _ animal," _ I cried, crossing my arms over my chest dramatically.

"Gah, sorry-um-I didn't mean-" Al stuttered, flustered. He stopped waving his hands in front defensively when I guffawed at his reaction. "Ha ha, very funny," he grumbled.

"Guys," Ed said sharply, "we have company."

I stopped laughing immediately as the din of marching footsteps echoed in the long hall, the unified percussions growing ever louder in a disconcerting production. Leading the procession of about thirty uniforms strode a man that could easily rival Alphonse in size, a dark mustache resting beneath cold eyes and tanned skin that stretched uninterrupted over his bald head. Several stars on his crisp blue coat signified his rank.

"I want the whole city swept,” the brigadier general spoke in a voice almost as severe as his expression. “Check every alley and every hole. I want no survivors, is that understood?" We moved aside as the large group was almost upon us and Edward snapped a salute. We were ignored, however, so he needn't have bothered.

"Who's that?" I whispered to the blond, eyeing him curiously, because it was so unlike Edward to show such deference at first glance.

“Brigadier General Basque Grand, the Iron-Blood Alchemist," Ed whispered back tensely. Ah, so I was right about the rank. He must have been something if even Edward gave pause at his passing. I stared after the large man, and couldn’t deny that the caution was probably justified.

"What do you think he meant by no survivors?" I asked as the first of the men started to pass.

Ed was about to reply when a meep came from the vicinity of my collar bone, piercing even above the din of marching boots. I froze, feeling the creature tense against me, likely startled by the commotion. I crossed my arms over it immediately, sheltering the lump in my shirt and hopefully soothing it. It settled back down, but it was too late. Grand snapped his head around at the sound and clearly noticed us for the first time. My heart raced as he stopped in his tracks, his whole entourage stopping with him.

"Fullmetal," Grand grunted, all of that intense focus now zeroed in on my brother. Edward went rigid.

"Sir," Ed held his salute, though his eyes were liquid fire as he stared straight at the man who towered over him so easily.

"A group of chimeras have escaped the military labs and I have been ordered to round them up an eliminate them. Have you seen any?" Were he any more condescending, you’d think he was speaking to a dumb animal rather than an intelligent young man. I scowled.

His ice cold eyes swept over me, and I shifted, giving his frigid stare right back. I’d known men like this in the past; those knew their size and power intimidated and used it to threaten others into submission. I didn’t pretend to know whether he was as abusive as he seemed, or if it was simply what life made him, but neither Edward nor I would be cowed by a man who would ignore Alphonse noticeably, though of the three of us he seemed the most adult, and instead try to menace a couple of kids half his size. I suddenly got the feeling that it was a very bad idea to hand over the creature to a man who 'wanted no survivors'.

"No sir," Edward said with a straight face.

"Then what," the man stalked forward slowly, until his shadow literally shrouded the much smaller boy, "was that sound, Fullmetal?"

My blood rushed as the wall of muscle got closer and my hands twitched with the instinct to grab my tonfa and defend myself. 

"What sound, sir?" Ed’s expression remained neutral, voice calm and shifting slightly in my direction as if to calm me. I held still, trusting that Edward could handle it.

Grand's scowl deepened, staring between the two of us suspiciously. He spun smoothly on his heel, addressing the men who stood at attention behind him. "You have your orders," he barked.

"Sir!" They shouted in unison before filing out of the hall with all haste.

As their footsteps faded away, Grand turned his mocking gaze back to Edward. "I hope for your sake that it was just my imagination, Fullmetal. I have orders to eliminate all of the abominations that escaped and you would do well not to get in my way."

"Must have been a cat, sir," Ed insisted innocently, matching his intensity with his own considerable focus. The stalemate lasted for several seconds before Grand dismissed us with a sniff, striding down the hall with pretentious clicks of his polished boots.

None of us breathed until his massive frame disappeared around the corner. "Ugh, I  _ really _ don't like that guy." Edward rubbed his arms vigorously, ridding himself of the goosebumps still freckling his skin. "I always feel like he's going to eat me or something every time he looks in my direction."

"Definitely a carnivore," I agreed, protectively clutching the tiny creature to my still pounding chest. "You’ve got some balls, Ed, I definitely would have cracked and went for my weapons under that stare."

"You would have been dead," Ed intoned ominously. I looked down the hall and wondered just how powerful Grand must have been to have even Edward say that. I wanted to ask, but then again, I really didn’t want to know.

"Come on, the colonel has probably heard we’re in the building and you  _ know _ how grouchy he gets when we don't go straight to him. Let's get this over with. And make sure that thing keeps quiet!"

We hurried down the hall and finally came to a stop in front of Mustang's office. Edward lifted his hand to knock with a put-upon sigh, but before his knuckles could even touch the wood, Lieutenant Hawkeye opened it. Her stern expression lifted at the sight of us, eyes softening and taking years of her face, though her hair was pinned as severely as always.

"Oh, if it isn't my favorite brothers," she said with a smile, clutching a clipboard to her chest as if she’d meant business before she saw who it was. Riza always did have a soft spot for Edward, I noticed, though we rarely saw her. I smiled in kind.

“Riza,” I said, always feeling a little odd to call a woman my age by an honorific.

“Hello, ma’am,” Alphonse greeted politely, Edward giving a mumbled ‘ma’am’ as well. Hawkeye was one of the very few authority figures he showed respect for. He did tend to behave with more decorum around older women, however, so it might not have been Riza specifically. 

"Come on in, boys, the colonel is just through the next door."

We shuffled into the office, easily dodging piles of paper and messy desks, the place as much a wreck as ever. Though it was late, Mustang's men were all busily working still, mugs of coffee sitting cold on every available surface.

"Falman, Havoc, long time no see." I gave a wave to the two officers closest to the door, receiving a conservative nod from Falman, the older man looking like he had too much work and not enough coffee, and a slick 'hey kid' from the much more laid back Havoc, blond hair disheveled and ever present cigarette bud hanging from his lips, unlit. There were two others in the office that I hadn’t met yet, a larger man with red hair and a rather smallish man with black hair and glasses, but before I could greet them as well Ed pulled me along by the arm into Mustang's office. Ed shut the door behind us with a sigh, clearly fed up with the day and in no mood to socialize. Al and I humored him, a little worn down ourselves, sitting on one of the two red couches in the center of the spacious room while Edward stood in front of Mustang's desk, waiting to be acknowledged.

Roy Mustang sat behind his own mountain of papers, not even raising his black eyes to acknowledge us. I couldn’t tell if it was because he was genuinely that busy or he was just being rude for the sake of it, but I leaned back tiredly, content to wait as long as it took. Wasn’t like I was in a hurry to slum it at the barraks or anything, just grateful to be sitting on something comfortable for once.

"Ahem," Edward coughed irritably when it became apparent that Mustang wasn’t going to look up any time soon.

"Boys," Mustang finally said, still refusing taking his eyes from his paperwork. "Take a seat, I'll get to you in a minute."

Ed growled in annoyance, but obediently sat on the couch across from Al and I. Edward glowered at the floor, but I took a moment to just watch Mustang write, wondering idly why he only had one small desk in this giant room when he could unbury himself from all that paper with just a few filing cabinets. Maybe it was an intimidation tactic? Big empty room and a single stately desk as a statement? A fleck of black ink splashed the edge of his squared jaw, and I found myself distracted, thoughts wandering off as I watched.

A few moments and a lot of scritching later, Mustang finally put down his pen and snatched the paper from his desk. Abruptly, as if someone lit a fire on his chair, he stood and strode to the door. Before he could touch it however, it opened with a bang, revealing Hawkeye, a no nonsense frown on her fair lips startlingly different from the warm expression she’d graced us with. Mustang took a nervous step back as the three of us watched on in amusement.

"Sir, that had better be the missive I handed you this morning," she said with an intense frown, lifting a brow at Mustang’s occupied hand.

"Of  _ course _ it is," the man drawled, and to his credit, his hands didn’t shake beneath her glower. "I told you I would get it done on time! Who do you take me for?"

Hawkeye’s hand twitched and Mustang smile froze on his face. However, she merely took the paper from his hand instead of reaching for the beretta clearly visible at her waste. Flinty chocolate eyes scanned it over before she gave him a beatific smile, which oddly enough made him take another step back. "Thank you sir, I'll get this taken care of right away," Riza said sweetly, and with that she closed the door in Mustang's stunned face.

Once the formidable woman was gone, Mustang's shoulders dropped in relief and he began muttering to himself. I was pretty sure I caught words like 'crazy' and 'control freak', but politely pretended like I heard nothing.

Ed was not as polite. "Feeling a little whipped, colonel bastard?" he snorted, delighted he could get one up on Mustang for once.

Mustang's back went rigid, and I braced in anticipation, feeling one of their infamous storms brewing. Oh, this should be good. Beside me, Alphonse sighed, putting his hands over where his ears would have been as if that could somehow ward off the explosion. "Was that you Fullmetal?" Mustang drawled, putting his hand up as if to shield his eyes from the sun, scanning the room like a captain surveying the horizon. His eyes widened as he finally allowed them to rest on the fuming young man, whose smile was long gone in the face of Mustang’s teasing. "Oh,  _ there _ you are, I must not have seen you over my piles of paperwork."

Ed's steel fist clenched and with a startling crack, Mustang's couch had one less arm.  _ "Who are you calling so small you can’t see him behind a shopping receipt, you bastard!" _

Al held our volatile brother back effortlessly by the collar as he tried to jump over the couch and attack the colonel, who merely pretended to clean out his ear with his pinky, bored lift of his brows belying the wince at the abrupt increase in volume. "Wow, I never knew such a  _ person of stature _ like yourself could have such a loud voice."

_ "What did you say?" _

"Ed, calm down," I said, sarcasm just as thick. Two could play this game. "He's just upset we know that Hawkeye wears the pants in this relationship."

Ed’s grin turned triumphant as Mustang black eyes shifted to me. The devious smile that curled his thin lips had my hackles raising slightly, though I didn’t allow my own mien to give me away. "And what would you know about, that, hm? With your choice in delicate finery, it hardly seems like you’d have much experience in that area."

A tense silence fell over the room, Edward and Alphonse waiting to see how I would react. They knew how I felt about anyone implying my feminine nature. Though I had gotten better at accepting that I could be more myself after our talk in Xenotime, that no one in this world would judge me so harshly as in mine, that didn’t mean I was entirely comfortable with it. Mustang tensed as well, not realizing what landmine he’d stepped on, but keeping his smirk firmly in place, waiting me out. My eyes narrowed, not sure I liked his tone. After a second, I decided that my dumb hang-ups be damned, if this arrogant man was going to flirt with me, then dammit, I was going to flirt back. 

"Do you like it?" I lilted with an assured smirk, tilting my head coquettishly. A strand of hair fell from its tie and I brushed it aside, being sure to run my fingers down the gem adorning my ear. 

I'm pretty sure I could have heard a needle drop on the other side of the door, the room went so silent. Ed was looking at me like I had grown an extra two heads. Mustang's abrupt change in posture from teasing to defensive was even more priceless, however. What did he expect, me to deny it? Maybe, if I had actually been a young man trying to prove himself, I might have. But that’s not who I am, and I was  _ tired _ of denying who I was. Still, it wouldn’t pay if he took my flirting too seriously. He might be handsome, but...well, just no. Not appropriate. To lighten the mood, I fluttered my lashes as facisiously as I could manage, and that seemed to break him out of his shock. Unexpectedly, delight danced in his black eyes as he seemed to accept my challenge, teasing smirk firmly back in place.

"But of  _ course _ ." His voice lowered, laying on the flirtatious growl so thickly it bordered on the absurd. Then he said in a suave voice that I assumed he used on all the females in the city, "How could I not notice the way you lit up the room the second you walked through the door. Why, I can barely take my eyes off you." I choked on a laugh, thinking that rich considering he hadn’t even looked at me for a good few minutes when we arrived.

"Wha–" Edward stuttered. His frozen grimace really was something to see. He had the most adorable look of constipation on his face, and I was pretty sure Al had turned to stone behind him, the younger boy frozen the second Mustang opened his mouth. If I hadn't been having so much fun playing along I would have been laughing hysterically.

"Why, Mustang, I had  _ no idea _ you felt that way," I simperred in kind. His answering smile was almost enough to break the illusion, the older man nearly too amused to continue the verbal spar. Still, he opened his mouth to retort gamely.

"Gyaaaaah, noooo!” Edward screamed, no longer able to stand it, it seemed. “I am  _ not _ watching my little brother flirt with colonel bastard! Can we  _ please _ get this report over with so I can forget I ever saw this!?"

Al had his knees pulled up to his chest, covering his helmet as if he could block his sight and erase what just happened from his memory if only he tried hard enough. I suddenly choked loudly when I realized how bizarre it must be for him when someone that looked exactly like him was flirting with an older man. 

"Heh, s-sorry Alphonse," I mumbled through my fingers. I glanced at Mustang, eyes crinkling, and we shared a look, the two of us unified in the delight that always came from teasing adolescents still so easily embarrassed. My amusement dimmed a little, though, when I remembered that Mustang thought I was their age as well. 

Mustang must have sensed that the fun was over, because he turned back to his desk, face falling back into the serious mask I knew much better than the lighthearted man I saw moments before. Right then, back to business, I thought with a little bit of disappointment. Who knew Mustang could joke around like that? Still, we were there for a reason, and we couldn’t impose forever. 

"Alright, alright, settle down. Let's do this so I can get back to work." Mustang said, confirming that he was indeed on a time limit.

Once we were all settled down back on the couches, Ed still looking a little disturbed, Mustang began to debrief Edward on his missions.

"So, Ed, it looks like we’re really getting a  _ bang _ for our buck." 

"Don't start with me, ok? You're the one who told us to go to Lior in the first place." Ed grumbled, though I couldn’t help but think that Mustang’s sarcasm was fair, considering that every one of those missions went awry in some way or other. Mustang seemed to agree.

"I told you to investigate, not unseat their favorite profit."

"And now a village that was on the verge of uprising is back under the military's control. Shouldn't you be happy about that?" Ed said, putting his hands behind his head. "Hey," he said suddenly, "You didn't plan that did you?"

"I heard that Youswell is under different management now," Mustang dodged the question skillfully, and Edward flushed with embarrassment at the call out.

"Um, yeah, that Yoki guy got unexpectedly…ill." 

I snorted. If by ‘ill’, he meant 'lynched by angry, oppressed miners', then yes, he was ‘ill’. Honestly, I was surprised to hear that Yoki was still alive, considering the state we last saw him in. I wondered idly how the people of Youswell were doing these days...

"I also heard that Xenotime got a new source of income."

Ed twitched. "Yeah, Xenotime, where is that again?"

Mustang crossed his fingers in front of his face. "Should I also have you file a report about the red water?" He paused as if to give the fuming alchemist a chance to respond, but of course he didn’t. “No answer, huh? Oh, I almost forgot, we also got an inquiry from Aquroya about a certain phantom thief. Tell me Ed, is it true Psiren is a real ten under the mask?"

Ed blushed, clicking his teeth in annoyance. "So you're saying you know everything I do. Great, I'm glad we had this talk."

"Can you at least  _ look _ like you are following orders, Fullmetal?"

That was a loaded question, to be sure. In all of those instances–these ‘missions’ that were little more than an excuse for the military to meddle in outlying regions–we’d faced some sort of  crisis of morality. In my opinion, Edward had responded honorably rather than bow beneath his rigid orders, whether it was liberating Youswell or stopping Cornello in Lior. Alphonse and I at least had the excuse that we hadn’t known Edward’s exact orders, but Edward...that was just the sort of boy he was. Mustang frowned as if he knew what was going unsaid, but held his piece until Edward could parse out what he wanted to say. I eyed the older man, still not quite sure of his motivations, and wondered if he would let this slide. This moment would prove whether he was truly on our side or not...Or if he’d just scouted Edward based on is raw talent for his own ends, whatever those may be. 

Those missions had been a test, that much was clear. Now, it was up to Mustang to decide whether Edward had passed, despite playing loose with the rules.

"We have other objectives," Ed said lowly, giving Mustang a sidelong look through blond lashes. Mustang nodded, as if something he’d thought was confirmed, before standing and looking out the window into the still pouring rain. 

"Like the philosopher's stone."

Ed’s brow twitched, and Alphonse and I exchanged a startled glance. "How did you…?"

"Cornello had been using a red stone to fake miracles, and then you just happen to go to Xenotime next, where it was rumored a philosopher's stone was being created? It's not rocket science, Ed."

"Are you going to try and stop us?" Ed said darkly, and Alphonse tensed beside me, neither of us wanting to have to fight our way out of here, but knowing exactly how dangerous this knowledge was in the wrong hands. I wanted to trust Mustang, but...I wouldn’t hesitate to kidnap Edward and get the hell out of dodge if this looked like it would turn south. 

I needn’t have feared

"Of course not.” Mustang scoffed, turning back to the three of us. “I promised that you would have every opportunity to get your bodies back and I meant it. Just know that that path is a dangerous one, and that the price may be more than you can afford."

"What do you mean?" I said cautiously.

His black eyes were considering when he regarded me, flicking between us each in turn. "They say that those who pursue the stone are cursed to failure. But I myself never put much stock in rumors. Still, everyone I knew of that went in pursuit of the stone never came back."

A grim silence followed his words. No matter the solemnity of the statement, though, it seemed that Edward had had enough. "I think we can handle it," Ed dimissed, voice abruptly loud after the hushed tones we’d been speaking in, effectively breaking the tension as if he’d popped a balloon in our midst. He stood, brushing his coat off like ridding himself of a fine coating of dust that might have gathered if he sat still for too long. "Is that all? We have more important things to do than hang around here.” 

Mustang sighed and nodded, clearly deciding that he wasn't going to change our minds today. He gestured to the door in dismissal and without a backwards glance, Ed strode out the room, banging the door loudly behind him.

"Brother," Al exclaimed scoldingly, following him out. Before he exited completely, he hastily bowed in acknowledgement to Mustang before hastening after Edward, who no doubt had made it all the way down the hall by now. I stood as well, shaking my head at my brother’s impatience and wishing dearly to just chill out for a while. Alas. I better catch up before they leave me behind. 

"Wait, Alex, I need to talk to you."

I paused, looking over my shoulder to find Mustang regarding me seriously. I turned around, furrowing my brow as I remembered that same expression when we spoke at the hospital before we left for Lior, before he’d basically threatened me into talking about the incident with Tucker. "What is it?"

He gestured for me to sit back down on the couch and I obeyed, the man dropping into one himself, as if he couldn’t be bothered to fight gravity any longer. Sprawled back, he looked at the ceiling casually, letting his head rest against the back of the couch, though I got the feeling that whatever he was about to lay on me was going to be anything but casual. "I've been doing a little digging," he started, keeping his voice light. "I found out some interesting things. Care to verify them?"

I tensed, shoulders going rigid. "That depends," I said cautiously. "What did you find out?"

He locked eyes with me, and I froze, staring back into knowing black. "I found out that Alex Elric never existed." My heart stopped before suddenly jumping into hyperdrive. The little chimera shifted at my nervousness, still not quite waking from its slumber, but I ignored it, giving the inscrutable colonel all of my attention. Mustang glanced at the movement, but didn’t so much as lift a brow in question before continuing. "Trisha Elric only ever had two sons and they are both accounted for, although you look an awful lot like Alphonse Elric, wouldn't you say?"

"How do you know Edward's father didn't have an affair?" I countered, swallowing subtly. Mustang’s eyes flickered, and I knew I couldn’t hide my reactions from him. But damned if I wasn’t going to try. "I could be their half brother."

"Oh, and what would be his name, hm?"

Shit. Shit shit shit. I'd been found out. I tried furiously to come up with a name, but as far as I knew, besides a brief mention by Alphonse in Xenotime, the boys never spoke of their father at all. At my silence, Mustang pounced, not giving me a moment to recover.

"A few months ago at the hospital, the doctor was having a little bit of trouble finding you a blood type that your body would accept. Luckily for us, it seemed like you regenerated your blood rapidly on your own." He examined my face carefully, absorbing my every reaction. "He said it was a true miracle of modern medicine, and I had to call in a few favors so he wouldn't talk."

My heart stuttered in shock and I shivered as I broke out into a cold sweat. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I flickered my eyes to the door, wondering if I should make a run for it. Was he going to detain me and have me cut up in a lab? I felt sick…

Mustang nodded as if something had been confirmed, before leaning back and let out a breath, allowing all of the tension to drain from his body. "Calm down, I'm not going to do anything to you."

"You know what I am," I croaked, not believing him in the least.  _ Ed, Al, where are you!? _

"I have some theories. Chief among them being that you are somehow the result of those boys’ transmutation."

I closed my eyes, waiting for him to suddenly strike out at me or call for guards or something equally horrible. This was it, I thought as I clutched at the fabric below my fingers tightly. The truth was out in the open now. What would happen to me? Would Mustang at least allow me to say goodbye to my brothers before he imprisoned me to be experimented on? I knew what alchemists did to creatures made by alchemy, and it wasn’t pretty. Would they be as cruel as Tucker? Would they cut me open to see what was inside, or try to turn me into weapon?! Would they–

A hand on my shoulder startled me badly, and I jumped, eyes snapping open with a gasp. Mustang crouched down before me, concern pinching his brows at my rapid breaths and no doubt blown pupils. I wanted to pull away, but something in his gaze gave me pause.

"Alex, calm down," Mustang said firmly. "No one is going to cut you up, I promise." Oh. I hadn't been aware I had said that out loud. He seemed sincere, and when it didn't look like he was going to start screaming for reinforcements I calmed a bit. Once my breath returned to normal, he resumed his seat across from me.

"What happens now?" I muttered, avoiding his eyes and blushing a little at my overreaction. So sue me, it’d been a rough couple months–a rough few years, if I was being honest, but I was still especially tense after the revelations we faced in Xenotime. Also, I trusted this foreign military about as far as I could throw it. 

"Nothing," he said lightly, and I looked up in surprise. "I had a fake identity made for you the second I realized what you were. As far as anyone outside of my circle knows, there really are three Elrics."

"Why would you do that?" I spluttered, shocked. "I'm not human…why would you help me?"

"Who says you're not human?" I flinched, expecting something entirely different at the admission, something cruel, but found myself surprised once again, startled to see something I didn’t expect to find in someone who had found out what I really was. Compassion. And Mustang seemed to have a lot of it, his posture comforting and eyes caring, a rather strict antithesis to the arrogant and at times calculating man that Edward, Alphonse and I had gotten to know so far. Where was this coming from, I wondered. "Everyone deserves a chance at life. As far as I and everyone who knows you is concerned, you are you." His gaze cut away then, and he mumbled something more that I wasn't sure I was meant to hear. "Even those who feel they can't be forgiven..."

My eyes stung, stunned and a little blindsided by Mustang’s empathy. Mustang allowed me a moment to compose myself in silence and I took advantage of it, looking at anything but him. I had never expected anyone outside of Ed's family to say that to me, especially not someone from the heartless military, who from the stories I’d I heard would only think of me like the abomination I was and condemn me for it. But this man...Why would he go these lengths for me, just some kid he hardly knew, even going so far as to lie to his superiors and falsify my records? And not just me, but for Edward and Alphonse as well? What did he have to  _ gain?  _ I didn’t understand, and that made me more than a little nervous. But still, something surged up in me then, something I had been holding back for so long I didn’t think I even had it in me anymore.

I wanted–I wanted–

"So…" Mustang started, but I interrupted him.

"My name," I said slowly, voice cracking over the lump in my throat. "My name is– _ was _ Alexandria…"

I wanted him to know the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. That chapter needed a lot more work than I thought. I can't believe I sucked so bad the first time I wrote this -_- maybe the later chapters won't need as much work, idk *shrugs*
> 
> Here we go, let's dive into the next arch! Next Chapter: Mustang gets more than he bargained for when he went digging into Alex's past, a reunion happens that's long overdue, and Alphonse is unexpectedly good at talking people back from the cliff.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What makes us human?

I slowly stroked the small chimera on my lap, fingers bumping over tiny, dry scales as they passed them over and over again. It had moved out of my shirt some time ago, leaving a small spot of sweat to cool where it had clung to my chest. At some point as I sat there it must have gotten overheated and crawled out. Instead of running away like I would have expected, it nuzzled up cat-like on my lap and continued its snooze. I scratched its head absentmindedly, not reacting much in the least to its presence. To his credit, Mustang didn’t react either, merely listening to me intently as I told him the entirety of my tale.

Even as a half-hour, then an hour passed, Mustang didn’t waver in his concentration, black eyes never leaving my face as I told him where I came from, what we guessed had happened to me, and all that I had lost. At some point, Riza came into the room, placing a steaming cup of coffee in my hand, which I swirled without touching. Still, it warmed my frigid fingers, so I clutched it until it had long cooled.

When I finally finished talking and the room fell silent, I felt as if this huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders, leaving my heart lighter than I could remember feeling in longer than I cared to admit. When was the last time I had spoken about myself in such length? When was the last time I had trusted anyone enough to speak about anything important? I loved my brothers, I truly did, but to me they were children. In my past life I’d been over a decade older than them and no matter how mature they seemed, there was always this generational gap that I felt no amount of closeness could overcome. In my past life I’d had friends and loved ones my age that I could always go to when I felt down, who knew me inside and out as well as I knew them. I dearly missed that intimacy; the knowledge of knowing that someone would understand me no matter what, would listen whenever I needed an ear.

I glanced up at Mustang before my eyes flickered back towards the little chimera in my lap. I wasn't kidding myself that he was my friend, or that he even understood what I had been going through, but…I desperately needed someone to listen, someone who wouldn't feel guilt-ridden over my circumstances or pity me. I wasn't even sure myself why I had opened up to him so thoroughly with only the slightest encouragement. Maybe it was the way he reminded me of the man I used to love, or the way he listened when I spoke like the best friend I used to have, or just the plain fact that he was close to the age I would have been if none of this had ever happened. 

Or maybe…maybe I was just responding to the compassion in his eyes, dark blacks telling a tale of something just as unspeakable as what I had been through, only he had had the strength to pull through.

Whatever it was, it caused me to finally put voice to all that I had suffered with the loss of my world and my original body, something I’d told to no one since coming to Amestris. And I felt relieved.

"Do Ed and Al know that you were…" Mustang finally spoke quietly, breaking the silence that had filled the room for the last several minutes.

“Pregnant?” I shook my head. "I never told them. They might’ve guessed, but I never spoke of it to anyone except for Pinako, and even then..." I shrugged. Mustang was the only soul in this world who knew the whole story.

"Why are you keeping it from them?" he asked gently.

I looked directly into his dark eyes with my own emeralds, my now dry hair falling gently against my cheek. "Because…because they’ve suffered enough. When I first got here, I was so  _ angry _ …I wanted to lash out, blame them for everything. But then I looked at them, really  _ looked _ , and saw how much they’d suffered as well. They are already torn by guilt about what they’ve done to each other, and I thought 'does it even matter?' If I told them, would it make anything better, or help me get home faster? I don't think so." I scratched the little chimera under the chin and it made a curious purring sound, wiggling further into my lap. I smiled sadly. "So I held it in."

"You held back protect them, but it's been hurting you all this time."

"Yeah, but it's not so hard anymore. At first I was drowning, thinking that I was stuck here forever and that the two broken kids that had pulled me here would never be able to get me back. But then a certain officer came and kicked those kids back into gear." I smiled at Mustang, eyes sparkling a bit. "And then, well, I guess I've gotten used to this place, and found people who I love here as well. I’ll always think of my child and the family I almost had, but, for now…" My eyes watered, but I closed them and pushed back the tears. I’d already mourned and quite frankly, I was tired of crying.

Mustang crossed his arms and looked at me contemplatively. "What if there’s no way to get you back? What if you  _ are _ stuck here forever?"

I shook my head, heart aching resignedly at the thought. "I don't know. It's been my purpose for so long. I have to believe I can go back, and that somehow everything will be okay again. If not…I guess I’d still help Ed and Al get back to normal. Then…I just don't know."

He tilted his head, considering. "You'll see them again someday. Knowing you three, you could probably make Truth itself bend to your will." His voice lifted with light humor and I smiled, knowing the moment was over.

"Thank you…" I said, heartfelt, feeling much lighter than I had in ages. "Thank you for listening."

"What can I say, I'm an awesome listener," he said, falling back into his arrogant persona that I knew, his mask back in place. I chuckled, a bit sad that this moment of openness was behind us but feeling light as a feather regardless.

"You really are something else, you know that?"

"Yes, I know," he said, waving his hand in the air and giving me a charming grin. "Ladies just can't get enough of me."

"Oh? And what about gender confused boys?" I said with a mischievous smirk. Mustang shrugged, as if to say ' _ especially _ gender confused boys'. I chuckled, appreciating his humor in the face of such dark matters, but then my expression turned serious. "Mustang…everything I said here today…"

“Call me Roy,” he said, eyes crinkling with sincerity. My lips twitched, surprised, but acknowledged his effort for even ground for my sake, grateful. Mustang’s–no,  _ Roy’s _ –face turned sombre. "Nothing you said leaves this room. I promise. But you really should tell them. Those boys are stronger than you think."

I shook my head at his insight. Maybe he was right, but I still didn't want to burden them further. I eyed him, seeing nothing but conviction in his visage. Even though I was probably some kind of valuable alchemy breakthrough or something, he was promising that he would keep my secret.

And the funny thing was…I believed him. Even though outwardly he was arrogant and manipulative, today I witnessed a new side of the man, a side that had me trusting him irrevocably. Despite the way he handled Edward, Al and I like we were pawns in his game of chess, he seemed to really care about the people who worked under him and never gave us anything we couldn't handle. I hoped that at some point we could truly become friends. He seemed like he had his own dark secrets that he needed to heal from. I hoped that some day I could return the favor and help him heal a little as well.

The door banged open with a loud crack and I jumped badly, the little creature in my lap giving a startled meep before crawling back into my shirt and clinging to my skin. Mustang sat calmly and unruffled across from me, not even turning to see what the commotion was.

"Sir, incoming! I couldn't distract them for much longer," Havoc said, panting as though he’d been running a long distance. I noticed that his short blond hair was wet and wondered if he had been in the rain.

"Distract who?" I asked, bewildered. My heart was still pounding.

"Good job, Havoc. You kept them away longer than I thought you would."

I looked between the two men in confusion when a loud pounding from the hall and a certain obnoxious yelling answered my question for me.

"I swear, when I find him, I'm going to–"

"Brother, calm down!"

"But Al, he had me stuck with that daughter happy maniac for an hour! I swear, if I see one more picture–"

"How is that Havoc’s fault!?"

"Because, Al! He kept asking  _ questions _ ! I thought it would never end!"

Edward and Alphonse burst into the room and Ed looked around frantically, furious. Havoc, who had snuck into Mustang's storage closet with a half terrified look, was nowhere to be seen.

Ed's eyes landed on me and he blinked in surprise. "Alex, where the hell have you been?"

"Right here," I said, amused. "You guys left in such a hurry, but I wanted to have a cup of coffee and dry off. So I loafed around for a bit."

Ed narrowed his eyes suspiciously and glanced between Mustang and myself. I looked over to the colonel as well and noticed with surprise that somehow he had found a piece of paper to read over and was ignoring us completely.

"Well, come on," Ed said impatiently. "Gracia's making stew and Hughes said we’d better get a move on if we want it hot." A slightly sick expression crossed his face. "I hope he finally ran out of pictures, or I'm going to go insane!"

"Brother, he won't need pictures, Elicia will actually be there for him to fawn over." Al said, amused.

"Ugh, didn't think about that…"

"Alright, alright, I'm coming. Thanks for the coffee, Roy." I walked over to the door towards my retreating brothers, but paused at the exit to look back one more time. Roy hadn’t looked up from his paperwork, but when I glanced back, he gave me a slight nod and I smiled.

-o0o-

The walk to the Hughes’ was swift. It was still raining, and I grumbled about getting wet again when I’d just dried off. I’d be grateful when I was finally able to change out of these wet clothes.

Hughes met us at the door of his house and we piled in swiftly, Ed and I leaving our bags and coats by the door so we wouldn't drip everywhere. Gracia was nice enough to bring us towels and we dried off before stepping into the living room. A fire crackled merrily in the fireplace, giving the room a nice warm temperature. I shuddered in relief as I began to thaw out and Edward rubbed at his ports irritably, trying to get rid of the stinging numbness.

"Come in and warm yourselves up, boys, I'll be right back with some hot coffee for you to drink. Feel free to use the restroom to change," Gracia said generously. She smiled at us warmly and I couldn't help but notice how happy she looked. She must have been enjoying raising her daughter.

Edward flopped down on the couch as soon as he and I had changed into our dry clothes and I sighed in relief to finally not be damp. I hadn't felt properly dry since we’d gotten off the train that morning, if I was being honest. I looked around curiously and somewhat trepidatiously at the distinct lack of small children in the room. Hughes caught the movement, giving me a friendly pat on the shoulder.

"The kids are sleeping at the moment. I'll wake them up when it is time for dinner." I nodded nervously. Ed poked me in the side and I swiped at his hand.

"Relax Alex, Nina isn’t mad at you."

"Yeah, but…"

"It's true," Gracia said, walking into the room with a tray of coffee cups. She handed them out to each of us. Alphonse didn't touch his, as usual, but I could tell he appreciated the sentiment. "She hasn't spoken at all since the incident except for a few halting words, so I can't be entirely sure what she’s thinking, but every time you are mentioned I sense no ill will from her. In fact, I’d say that she’s worried about you more than anything."

"I shouldn't have left her. I still think about it all the time…"

"Alex, you can't keep blaming yourself for that," Al said from his position by the fireplace. "You were injured and distraught. There was nothing you could have done."

I  stared moodily into the fire, butterflies eating me from the inside out. I knew that. It didn't make the guilt any easier, however. Not until I really saw her would my mind be at ease.

"Can I see her now?" I asked Gracia. The new mother considered the clock and nodded.

"Yes, nap time should be just about over. I'll go wake the little ones now." She placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled comfortingly. "You'll see. She'll be so happy to see you!"

I nodded but my gut still clenched in knots. As the seconds ticked by I could hear Hughes and the boys chatting behind me, but I was too distracted by my nerves to listen in on what they were saying.

Gracia returned a few minutes later. She stood with little Elicia in her arm, the babe awake and looking around at her surroundings in delight. 

And standing behind Gracia, clinging to her skirt and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, was Nina.

"Nina, look who’s come to visit," Gracia said gently to the girl.

Nina looked around blurrily. She appeared just as I remembered her, sleepy eyes that same shade of chocolate hair still bound in her favorite braids, ones that I used to place in her hair every morning when we’d been together. My hands twitched as I remembered the feeling of those soft locks slipping between my fingers. It made my chest ache.

I could see her face light in recognition as she noticed Alphonse and Edward first, my feet sidling me back out of the limelight instinctively. Ed smiled and Alphonse gave a little wave, and the little girl ran forward, arms open to hug Edward. He caught her as she jumped into his lap, holding her close for a moment before ruffling her hair fondly.

"Hey Nina, how are you doing?"

She pulled back with a smile, though she didn't say anything. Then our eyes met.

Her expression froze on her face, eyes widening in shock. Her smile dropped swifter than my heart plummeting into my feet. Here it was. The rejection I feared that would break me more surely than anything else this world had thrown at me. I braced for it, eyes stinging as I accepted my fate.

The room went silent for a second, as if time itself held its breath...and then Nina's eyes filled with tears. To my great surprise, she got out of Edward's lap and threw her arms around me with a sob.

"Nina?" I gasped as I fell to my knees, thrown off balance by her slight frame.

"Al-Alex…" she said through her sobs.

Hughes gasped and Gracia hid a smile behind her hand. "Wow, I think that's the first time I've heard her voice in weeks," Hughes said.

I held Nina close as she cried and after a few moments she pulled back and looked into my eyes, her own brown ones still streaming with tears.

"Alex…where were you…you j-just disappeared," she reprimanded in the sweet voice I had missed so greatly. "Uncle Hughes said you were hurt…and that you had to go away…"

"Oh, baby…" I said, tears filling my own eyes. I pulled her close, her sweet baby scent filling my nose. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I had to leave you."

I shuddered as Nina patted my hair gently. I pressed my face in her neck, so relieved that she was okay, that  _ we _ were okay. "It's okay, big brother, don't cry," she whispered.

I huffed a laugh but didn’t,  _ couldn’t  _ let her go. "You stop crying first," I joked weakly. I didn't let the tears fall, but it was a close thing. Ed and Al, who’d been watching silently, exchanged a smile.

Nina pulled back and rubbed her eyes with the back of her tiny fist, then looked at me as if to say 'see, I stopped'. I choked on a laugh and ruffled her hair, the relief I felt the sweetest ambrosia on my tongue. 

The little chimera chose that moment to finally poke its head out of my shirt and Nina gave a startled yip.

"Oh, don't worry about this little guy," I said with an indulgent smile, heart light. "He won't hurt you."

Tentatively the little girl put out her hand and petted the chimera's tiny head. It let out that strange purring sound again and Nina giggled. With her smile, I finally felt a bit of the burden the Tucker Incident lift off my shoulders. It seemed like a lot of my burdens were being eased today, and I was starting to feel that maybe things were finally looking up.

"Hate to interrupt," Hughes said from his seat on the couch. Gracia had quietly taken Elicia into the kitchen and a lovely smell started to drift in the air as she made dinner. "But what is that thing?"

"Oh, I think it's some kind of chimera," Al answered him, and Hughes looked over to the large suit of armor. "I found him in an alley this morning and he's been clinging to Alex since."

"Aren't chimeras dangerous?" Hughes asked dubiously, giving the small scaled feline a second look.

"Usually, I think," Ed said, "but this one seems to be pretty harmless."

"Well, as long as you say so…" The little chimera wriggled out of my shirt and crawled up Nina's arm, causing the little girl to laugh in great hiccupping kid laughs. Hughes regarded the child fondly. "Anyway, it's good to see her smile again…"

"Dinner's ready," Gracia called, poking her head into the living room. We all piled into the kitchen and sat around the table, Nina never letting go of my hand. I clung to her just as tightly, not out of fear, but out of reassurance that we were both okay and together again, despite everything that had happened.

Gracia served stew to us all in great steaming bowls, and I could see from across the table that Ed was practically drooling. I laughed at his excitement. We had been eating nothing but travel food for a while, and it had been a long time since we’d had anything homemade. I wondered, though, if he knew that stew had milk in it. If he did, would he suddenly hate it? I never did understand why he disliked milk so much…

"Dig in everybody," Gracia said, finally sitting down and serving herself. Ed didn’t hesitate and immediately began shoveling food in his mouth, only to have his face flush alarmingly when he realized that it was still piping hot.

I chuckled and then eyed my own food. My mood dimmed a little. It looked delicious, but. There was just one tiny problem…I hadn't been hungry since before Xenotime. Or, to be more accurate, it felt like I didn't need to eat, like a couple hours after eating a large meal when you are not hungry yet, but not full either. This...worried me. It was obviously some kind of reaction to the red stones I had consumed up to this point. I tried skipping a couple meals, pleading a stomach ache, and the only thing I got from that was this weird craving I couldn’t place. It wasn't hunger, but something…else. Almost like a thirst or and itch that needed to be scratched but you just couldn't find it. Food held back that strange craving a little, so even though I never got hungry anymore, I still ate as normally as possible.

Well, there was that, but there was also the fact that I hadn’t told my brothers that this was happening yet. I hoped after a while it would just pass, or that if I somehow denied that it was happening it’d just go away. Just like if I ignored the fact that I wasn't human,  _ it  _ would go away…

I shook myself out of my depressing contemplations when Nina, who had been sticking close to my side, noticed that I hadn't eaten anything yet and held out a piece of bread for me to bite. I smiled and complied dramatically, causing the small girl to giggle and do it again. Heh, maybe eating wasn't such a chore if I could do it this way.

"Ah, I wish you were around all the time to feed me, Nina," I exclaimed, giving the girl a little side hug. Nina giggled and tried to feed me a spoonful of soup. Everyone at the table enjoyed the rest of dinner, amused by Nina feeding me. The little chimera, not to be forgotten, sat on Nina's shoulder as she fed it as well. It didn't seem to care for the bread, but it ate up the meat in the stew with peculiar jerking motions of its head, and when it was full it curled up in the child's lap and purred loudly.

After a very entertaining time at the table, where more stew landed on my face than in my mouth and where Edward ate three helpings and ended up stuffed, dinner ended. Gracia, after cleaning up, left to put the little ones to bed.

At first Nina didn’t want to let me go, eyes watering and betraying a fear that made my heart ache fiercely. I had put that look on her face by abandoning her once. I never wanted to do that again.

"Hey, I'll be here when you wake up. I promise," I said as she clung to my shirt and looked at me with puppy eyes.

"Pwomise?" she whimpered, words slurring slightly as her eyes drooped in exhaustion. They were still red from crying earlier, and her forlorn expression nearly broke my heart. I placed my hand on her cheek gently.

"Promise."

Gracia took Nina by the hand and pulled her up the stairs, whispering to her quietly. The little chimera which had been clinging to Nina, jumped off when it was nearly out of my sight and scurried across the floor, climbing up my pant leg and crawling back under my shirt to cling to my chest. I pet it through the cloth, bemused.

"That thing really likes you," Hughes commented. We moved back into the living room and the older man passed out tea to settle our dinner.

I chuckled. "Yeah, though I have no idea why."

"Enough about that thing. I actually have a question for you Hughes." Ed said suddenly, no nonsense tone affecting the end of our casual evening. It was time to get back to work, it seemed, and I sighed regretfully, leaning forward in rapt attention.

Hughes’ eyes sharpened, sensing the change as well. "Yeah, what?"

"Have you ever heard of an alchemist doctor who is able to heal patients with a flash of red light?" 

"Heals with a red light? That's pretty vague," Hughes said, scratching his chin thoughtfully. His glasses flashed. "Where did you hear about it?"

Alphonse answered. "In Xenotime, there was an epidemic going around a few years ago. Some locals said he was able to heal them even though no other medicine was working."

"Well," Hughes said slowly, considering, "there aren't that many medical alchemists out there. It's a very imprecise method of healing and more often than not causes more damage than it cures. See, you have to have an absolute understanding of the human body and the ailment you are treating. Alchemist doctors are usually highly specialized, or are regular doctors who use alchemy on only certain cases where they know exactly what’s wrong. That being said, I can come up with three off the top of my head. Why the interest though? Is one of you considering becoming an alchemist doctor?"

We glanced at each other, and I could see that Ed was struggling to decide whether to tell Hughes about our new interest. Would he react as Mustang had, and try to warn us away? I shrugged, and when Ed looked at Al, he did the same. He might, but then again, he might know something vital to our search.

"No, we're not interested in becoming doctors. It was the way he did it. Apparently, he was able to use alchemy without equivalent exchange. We think he may have a philosopher's stone."

For a moment, Hughes was silent. The fire crackled behind us, warming our backs while we waited for his answer. When he finally spoke, his tone was serious, more dark than I’d ever heard from the usually light hearted man.

"So, this is the path you’ve chosen to get your bodies back."

The three of us tensed. How did he know? We hadn’t told anyone except…

Roy. He must have told him as well. Come to think of it, it may have been Hughes who investigated me for Roy in the first place. I noted their relationship carefully, sensing that there was something more than friendly professionalism between them. 

"Yes," Edward said with conviction, his eyes molten gold in the firelight. He’d relaxed again, seeming to come to the same conclusion I had, but luckily for us, Hughes was already someone we trusted. We sat unwavering as Hughes took in all of our expressions one by one. He sighed.

"I suppose I don't have to tell you that that path is dangerous….no? I can see that someone has already informed you. Alright then. The alchemist you are looking for is, without a doubt, Tim Marcoh, the Crystal Alchemist."

"Tim Marcoh," Ed mumbled.

"That's right. I don't know much about him, but I do know that he was involved in the war several years ago."

"You mean the Ishvalan Uprising," Ed said.

Hughes nodded. I wanted to ask about the war, since it was the first I had heard of it, but kept quiet. If it was important, I was sure I would find out later.

"Right. He was one of several doctors that were there, and also an alchemist who studied the red stone and the philosopher's stone, among other things."

Ed's eyes lit up in excitement and he leaned forward eagerly. "Where can I find him?"

Hughes shook his head. "No one knows. After the final battle in Ishval, he deserted and disappeared from all records. The military hasn't been able to track him down since."

Edward sat back in disappointment, enthusiasm wilting as quickly as it came. "So much for that lead," he muttered.

"But, at least we know he exists and is out there. Who knows, we might get lucky," Al said, optimistic as always. Ed didn't look convinced, but nodded anyway.

"On another note, I want you boys to be careful while staying in Central," Hughes said, changing the subject.

"What do you mean?" I asked. Ed sulked, only half listening as he appeared to be lost in his own thoughts. Probably calculating the odds of us just happening upon Marcoh. It didn't seem all that likely to me, but odder things have happened.

"There's a killer on the loose."

That got Edward’s attention. "Who is it?"

Hughes shrugged, taking a sip of his tea. "We don't actually know. All we know is that it‘s the same person each time, because his MO is always the same. He’s targeting state alchemists and anyone who gets in his way."

"Just state alchemists? Why?" I said, glancing over at Ed, concerned. His arms were crossed, but he didn’t look too terribly worried.

"No idea. Just promise me you three will be careful? He hasn't struck in over a month, but that doesn’t mean he's gone. He's already killed thirteen people."

“Thirteen,” I breathed, shocked. “That’s terrible.”

"We'll be careful," Ed acknowledged slowly. “But right now, we need to find some answers. Who knows when Mustang will send us out of town again.” 

Hughes grunted, not looking convinced, but accepted our answer for now. "It’ll have to wait for morning. Let's get you boys to bed. Ed, you’re expected at base tomorrow." Ed grumbled, but nodded.

We grabbed our stuff and followed Hughes up the stairs. He put us in the spare bedroom. It only had two beds, but Alphonse of course didn't need one. I changed out of my day clothes, feeling slightly odd with my extra little attachment, which still clung to my chest stubbornly. I poked the tiny chimera, but it didn't seem to want to budge, so I left it be.

Edward hit the bed and fell asleep immediately as usual, his soft snores filling the room. Alphonse bid us goodnight and left, claiming that he had seen some interesting books in the Hughes' living room that he would like to read. The door closed with a soft click and I froze in my nightly preparations, listening to his metal feet clank down the stairs until they’d faded completely.

I looked over to the vacant bed in the dim light of the street lamp outside and wondered, not for the first time, if I should even bother. In addition to never being hungry since Xenotime, I’d been finding it increasingly difficult to fall asleep and stay that way. I still got fatigued when doing a lot of physical activities, but I seemed to regenerate my energy just by staying still. I would have thought that after several sleepless nights I would’ve gone insane due to mental exhaustion, but for some reason it didn't seem like this body was limited in that way. I looked down at my hands bitterly. It was just another thing that made me less human, and I was really starting to resent these changes.

I looked out the window into the night, and realized that for the first time since we’d come here, it had stopped raining. I looked between the window and the bed, and then at Edward, who was sawing logs. Sleep seemed unlikely, so, making sure not to make too much noise, I changed back into my clothes and coat and gently opened the window. I looked to my right and left, taking in the crisp night air and seeing that the street below was completely empty, and all other lights in the house had been put out save for the living room, where I knew Al was. I considered for a moment where I should go, when I noticed that there was a vine crawling up the wall to my left that looked like it went up to the roof. Mind made up, I jumped lightly onto the windowsill and grabbed on to the thick plant, pulling myself up hand over hand.

With a quiet grunt, I rolled onto the roof, careful not to jostle my little friend too much. The sky was still gray and stormy, but as I watched, the thick clouds moved aside to reveal the moon and a patch of sky, bathing the area in white light. The wet rooftop glimmered, glowing almost etherally in the silent night. As I observed the moon, feeling a bit melancholic, the little chimera crawled out of my shirt and clung to my shoulder, looking around curiously. It wrapped its long tail around my neck and I patted its head affectionately.

"Wow, you really seem to like me, little guy. I guess you and I have a lot in common," I mused. The little creature tilted its head at my quiet voice, but then, like a cat, it seemed to lose interest in me, tongue flicking out to taste the air.  "We’re both not quite what we’re supposed to be. Like, you used to be a cat and a lizard, and now you're suddenly both." I looked back up at the moon. "You know, I used to be human. And now…I'm not so sure anymore."

A voice interrupted my musings and I jumped, startled. "Just because you’re not quite human anymore doesn't mean you're less of a person." It was Alphonse. Somehow, he’d snuck onto the roof when I wasn't paying attention. No, I would have heard him. He must have been up here the whole time. He was facing me, gazing up at the moon as well from his seated position on the edge of the roof’s apex. His armor gleamed in the white moonlight, and against the dark glimmering background of the silent city behind him, he looked surreal and beautiful.

My heart rate calmed, feeling perfectly safe in his presence, and I also gazed back at the moon. "How do you know that?" I whispered into the quiet night. "I don't need to eat anymore, I never sleep, I can somehow heal rapidly on my own. And I freaked out badly in Xenotime, becoming violent and dangerous. I'm an unstable monster, a freak of nature. How can you say that I'm not somehow less than I was…when I was normal…"

"I've noticed," he said, slight accusation in his voice. I flinched slightly. I knew he hated it when I kept things from him. He  _ always _ notices it when I'm trying to hide something… "Are you saying that I am less than I was?" Al said quietly. "I can't sleep, I never eat, I can feel nothing, and at first I couldn’t control my strength at all. You could I’m dangerous as well." He looked down at his hands, red eyes glowing softly. "What am I? Just a soul in a tin can. Am I also not human because of what I’ve become?"

My heart panged painfully and I looked at him with wide eyes. "No! No, of course not. You’re probably the most human person I know, Al. Don't you ever say you’re less because of what happened!" How could anyone say that about Al? Sweet Alphonse, who rescued kittens from the rain, who took care of his older brother with such patience, and who I had bonded with irrevocably in our journeys. His compassion and calm, his laughter and his grief, I had felt them all, experienced them with him. And if there were any words to describe just what he was, they didn’t include anything close to the word 'less'.

Al looked seriously at me, and even from a few yards away I could feel his conviction. "If you say I’m human, then you are as well." I shook my head in denial, but he didn't let speak. "What do you think makes us human, Alex? Is it the fact that we eat or sleep? Is it the fact that we can reproduce? Build houses? I don't think so. What makes us human is our compassion for others, helping each other when they’re in need and caring about the world around us. It's our  _ soul. _ Do you think you’re somehow less human than that guy Yoki, or Cornello, or even Mugear? Do you think I am?" I shook my head slower this time. No I didn’t think that we were less than they were. In fact, being compared to them made my skin crawl.

Al laughed lightly at my disgusted expression. "There you see. Even though we’re different, we’re human just the same."

I smiled up at the boy, bewildered at his ridiculous strength. "How…" How had I ever thought that he wasn't mature enough to understand my feelings? I shook my head at my own naiveté. Once again, these boys taught me that just because they were young, didn’t mean they couldn’t possess wisdom and empathy. "You're my hero, you know that?"

"Oh, um, I don't know about that," Al said, waving his hands and easily lifting the solemn mood with his humility. He turned back into just Alphonse, sweet and guileless. I chuckled at how cute he was suddenly being, and in that moment felt more connected to Alphonse than I’d ever felt when we were sharing emotions. I thought that maybe, just maybe, that intimacy I’d been missing was right in front of me all along. I sat beside him, not touching but almost, and the three of us, a chimera, a not quite human, and a soul trapped in a suit of armor turned our eyes to the sky and watched the moon until the clouds closed again, throwing us into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex finally got to unload and find a confident in Mustang–ahem, sorry, ROY ;) Their camaraderie will be vital to Alex's emotional stability. It's got to feel good to finally unload on someone who isn't so close to the situation haha.
> 
> And Al, how are you so freakishly mature? His wise nature was always something I adored about him, especially when he'd say something particularly poignant then go back to being adorable XD


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex runs into some new faces and meets some from his past he would rather he'd never met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No chimeras were injured in the making of this chapter.

It was quiet. Peaceful. I stepped into the room softly, not the least bit tired from my night of insomnia, and took a moment to just observe my slumbering brother, still passed out on his own bed in the exact position I left him the night before.

Edward lay snoring softly in the dim glow of the gloomy dawn, sky still overcast and gentle rain pattering against the window, soothing the sleeping young man. Loose blonde hair, a dull gold in the dim light, covered his closed eyes, obscuring the fierce, challenging gold in restful sleep. His black undershirt rode up his exposed stomach, and his gunmetal hand rested on his navel. It shone dully in the early morning light, the steel gleaming all the way up to the sleeping boy's arm to his collarbone where steel met flesh with the jagged scarring he so rarely showed to the outside world. With the dull dawn behind him, he looked like a sleeping angel; all smooth, hard planes with a soft expression, relaxed in slumber. 

A swell of affection filled my chest pleasantly, and I almost felt bad for what I was about to do…Nah.

"EDWARD!" I shouted exuberantly, shattering the peace.

"GAH!" The sleeping angel suddenly became a mess of terrified limbs as he jumped a foot into the air and scrambled to his knees, getting tangled in the blanket in the process. He arched his back like a startled cat and scanned the room with wide gold eyes. "What! Where's the fire?" He caught sight of me and squinted at my bright expression. "Alex…?"

"Big brother," I shouted, tackling Ed back onto the bed with a laugh. Ed landed with a huff, poking me in bewilderment as I refused to let go of his waist. I nuzzled into his firm core and he laughed helplessly, tickled by my loose hairs.

"A-ha! Alex, what the hell?!"

I pushed off of him, threw my arms out and said to the world in general, "It's a glorious day! How could you possibly still be sleeping on a day like this?"

Ed looked up at me, still sprawled out from where I’d practically thrown him, and looked out the window. It was pouring buckets, of course, and he shot a bemused look at me as if I’d lost my mind. Which...maybe I had. But it was hard to contain my cheerfulness when so many of my pressure points had been eased the day previous, putting me in a better mood than I’d been in a long time. Besides, it had been so long since we’d genuinely played, and sue me, but I was feeling mischievous. 

"…Right," he said, shuffling off the bed and backing away slowly. A chuckle drew our attention to the door as Alphonse stepped inside. Edward gestured towards me questioningly, but only received an amused shrug in response.

The little chimera crawled out of my shirt, startled at my sudden jerky movements, and wrapped itself around my neck. I nuzzled it against my cheek, gentle hand running up and down its spine. It purred in appreciation, a little bubble of affection tickling my chest. “Aw, my cute little lizard cat!” 

It sat there for a moment before jumping from me, landing on the floor with a tiny huff. With a stretch it wandered off, flicking its curious tail behind it as it walked through the door. I giggled, half tempted to follow it and cuddle it some more, but Edward’s concerned voice grabbed my attention.

"Alex…are you feeling alright?" 

That was a good question. Was I? 

"Why, Edward, I'm wonderful, thanks for asking!" I exclaimed, pulling the startled boy into my arms and squeezing hard.

"Gah! Ok, ok, leggo! Jeez, when the heck did you get so strong?!"

"Alex, you're suffocating him," Al said lightly from the door. With big innocent eyes, I looked up at him and then down at Edward, who struggled to breathe, blond tufts of hair sticking out comically in every direction. I released him and he stepped back with a gasp.

"Heh, sorry Ed."

Ed glared at me before his lips curled into a devious smirk. I had about two seconds to brace myself before I received a chest-full of irritated older brother, throwing me back on the floor. We mock wrestled for several minutes, laughs and insults exchanged equally in turns while Alphonse watched on. Of course he couldn’t roll his eyes, but he did a pretty excellent facsimile anyway. 

For a second, it was as if I really was a kid again, the two of us rough housing as if we’d never picked up a weapon in our lives. It felt good to let go like this, almost as good as it felt to see Edward’s genuine laughter, untarnished by stress or anger, if only for a moment.

Hughes found us a few minutes later.

"Well, aren't you boys lively this morning," he said, poking his head into the room, more amusement than anger coloring his voice at our noisy play.

"’Morning Hughes," I wheezed, my head locked behind Edward's arms, cutting off my air supply. I tapped Edward’s arm in defeat and he let go of me, ruffling my hair roughly as he stood. I swatted at his hand, huffing out a laugh.

"Not by choice," Ed grumbled good naturedly, looking over at the clock and groaning at what time it was. It was only six in the morning.

Hughes strolled into the room, already in his full military blues, and put his hands on his hips with a crooked smile. "Well, might as well get up then. The girls are already awake and Gracia's making scrambled eggs! We’re expected at eight, Ed, so get ready."

Ed, who had perked up at the mention of breakfast, wilted back down again. "Ugh, I really don't want to see Mustang's mug so early in the morning," he grumbled.

"Awe, don't be like that, Ed, he's really a great guy once you get to know him," I said a little wistfully, leaning back onto my arms and kicking my legs out, not bothering to stand.

Ed gave me a dubious look. “...Yeah, I’ll take your word for it.”

Hughes chuckled, waving over his shoulder as he left the room. "Breakfast is in twenty minutes, boys.” 

Edward waited until Hughes’ footsteps had retreated down the stairs before he lifted a brow at me. "What's got you so worked up this morning?" He looked down at my fully clothed form accusingly and I just shrugged.

"Nothing really, I just hung out with Al all night, that's all."

"You still can't sleep then?" I blinked in surprise.

"How did you know?"

Ed scowled and gave me his patented 'do I look like an idiot to you' look. "Alex, you couldn't keep a secret to save your life."

"Oh…" I said, frowning slightly. I hadn't expected Edward to notice something was up. Just how transparent was I? I thought I had been hiding it so well… He shifted, waiting for me to respond, possibly elaborate on my current strange circumstances, but the last thing I wanted to do was bring up something so troubling when I was feeling a little less heavy for once. Something must have shown on my face, because he dropped it with a shrug.

"We can talk about it later," he said with a small smile, sensing my hesitation. "I'm just glad you're feeling better."

I smiled, a little weak, but still genuine. “Thanks, Ed.”

Twenty minutes later found us all sitting in the Hughes' dining room, once again sharing a meal. Nina sat on my lap, the young girl getting as close as possible to me the minute I walked into the room, seeming determined to hold onto me as long as she could. Not that I was complaining. Usually I might feel a bit embarrassed over seeming so needy, but the genuine joy of having her back in my life trumped any of that nonsense. She giggled, feeding me pieces of biscuit as she had the previous evening and I indulged in her happiness like a parched man finding an oasis in the desert.

"So, what are you boys going to do today?" Hughes asked me and Alphonse. I exchanged a glance with Al, lightly resting my chin on top of Nina’s head. She giggled, but played along, and I turned the question over in my mind. I hadn't thought about it, but while Edward was doing whatever it was he was supposed to be doing while not out on missions, we wouldn't have anything to keep us occupied.

"Well," Al said thoughtfully, "I guess I could check out the library. I heard that there is a great resource for alchemists at the first branch."

"Hm…I think only state alchemists are allowed into the first branch." Hughes rubbed his chin in thought.

"Oh…"

"Can't they make an exception, dear? Alphonse did pass the written exam after all," Gracia said, noticing Al's deflating mood.

"Afraid not," Hughes smiled apologetically. "You can check out the second branch, though. It’s the go-to for all of the universities in the region."

"Really?" Al said, excitement renewed. "I'll check that out then!" I refrained from rolling my eyes, never having met anyone so enthusiastic about studying. Even Edward couldn’t match Alphonse’s passion for it.

"What about you?" Hughes directed at me. I glanced between my two brothers, one going to a library of all places and the other probably going to fill out paperwork or something all day. I sighed. Not exactly the most exciting choices. What I really needed was a bit of exercise.

"Hey, do you think I could use the military's training grounds?" I asked, perking up. "I could really use a few sparring matches. Feels like I've been doing nothing but lying about lately."

Edward huffed. “If you call traveling constantly for months ‘lying about’.”

“Yeah, well. Most of our missions were actually pretty boring.” Which was true, since they were mostly just military check-ins and mine inspections. Not that there hadn’t been exciting moments, but hardly any chances to use my skills. If I didn’t upkeep them, I would risk getting rusty, and if the last year was any indication of what this life would be like...yeah, not an option.

"Hm,” Hughes mused. “Well, it’s a bit unusual, but I don't see why not. You just need to ask permission from the commanding officer on the field today and you should be able to use them."

"Great," I said, brightening.

"You  _ want _ to be out in this rain?" Ed said, glancing out the window into the sodden streets.

"Did you stop training with Izumi just because of a bit of sucky weather?" I shot back. 

“No, but that was more out of fear for my life than actual enjoyment of getting all muddy and wet.” He shifted his automail arm in sympathetic pain, grimacing.

“I guess,” I agreed, thinking fondly of our fierce teacher. “But there’s nothing wrong with getting a little dirty once in a while.” I winked, and Edward shrugged, waving me off as if to say ‘you do you, crazy’. 

A half hour later saw us walking out the door to make the quick dash to Hughes' car. The chimera was nowhere to be seen, and I found it a little lonely without it clinging to my shoulder, but shrugged it off. Maybe it had finally gotten sick of me and was on its own now that it felt better. Better for us, anyway. The little guy would be safer far, far away from Central Command. Whatever the case, I hoped it would stay safe. I got into the car without a backwards glance.

Edward and I were walking down the hall towards Mustang's wing alone some time later, Hughes having dropped Alphonse off at the library before bidding us good morning and strolling to his own department. Edward walked through the open door and office without so much as a 'how do you do' to the others in favor of stalking straight Mustang's door, face sour.

I sighed after the cantankerous boy, wishing Roy luck in dealing with his grumpy morning mood. "Good morning, Alex," Hawkeye said, delicately bringing a cup of coffee to her lips and giving me a small smile. She looked fresh compared to the other officers who seemed to still be waking up that morning.

"Good morning, Riza. Radiant as always, I see," I winked, leaning against her desk and giving her a charming grin. Her eyes sparkled in amusement at the obvious come-on, but didn’t rise to the bait. I grinned, getting the feeling that if I had been anyone else, she would have put a bullet between my eyes, but lucky for me, she’d already gotten used to my particular quirks and knew I didn’t mean anything by it.

"Now don't start that," Havoc joked from behind me. "Female officers are off limits." 

"That's not what you said yesterday," the younger looking officer with thick rimmed glasses, Furey I think his name was, said with a mean smile.

Havoc's smirk fell, mood saddening. "Don't remind me," he moaned.

"What, she dumped you already? That was fast, even for you," A large man with short blonde hair and a goatee teased, sipping his coffee.

"Shut up! What do you know, Breda?"

" _ I _ have a girlfriend."

I watched the bickering behind me with interest. They were really starting to get at each other's throats. I wondered if they were close friends.

"So, what brings you to the office today?" Riza said, unfazed by the bickering going on in the background. Ah, a daily occurence then. It must be fun to work here...Then again, all that paperwork. Hm.

"Didn't know what to do with myself, really," I answered absently. "Ed and Al are busy either working or studying.” I shrugged helplessly, because really: not my thing. “I asked Hughes if I could use the training field for a bit."

"Well, Major Armstrong is using the field today, so I'm sure he won't mind."

I tilted my head towards her, curious. "Do you guys usually allow citizens to use the training fields?"

"Heh, no," Furey scoffed, the younger man breaking into our conversation, "but you're kind of famous around here. Everyone's heard about how well you can fight." He assumed an announcer voice and lifted his hand dramatically. "'Alex Elric, brother of the famous Fullmetal Alchemist, youngest state alchemist in history'! Like that."

"Oh, I didn't know we were all that famous," I said, amused. "Well, I guess if it lets me use the training grounds…"

"NO WAY!" Edward’s loud protest broke through the quiet clicks of pens and shuffling paper, barely muffled by Roy’s thick double doors. Everyone paused to look, Breda and Havoc dropping their argument to stare. The doors burst open a second later, Edward tumbling through and backing away as if a wild animal stalked him rather than a smug looking Mustang.

"Come on, Ed, you can't keep going around in leather pants and a bright red jacket. You're a part of the military now," Roy teased, walking out after him with a smirk. He held up a blue uniform on a hanger and Ed backed away as if it were a torch rather than a jacket. "I even had it tailored to your size."

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Ed shouted angrily, coming rigidly to a stop. Roy’s lips twitched, though he managed to hold back his amusement for the most part, attempting to keep a straight face.

"Well, I had to have it custom made for you since you're so…"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, you bastard!"

"Just put it on, chief," Breda said from the other side of the room. "It's not all that bad. People respect the uniform."

"No way! I'm not going to dress like one of your cronies, Mustang."

"Ouch," Havoc said, placing his hand over his own blue uniform.

"Come on, Ed, I think you'd look great in it." I glanced Roy up and down, scanning the uniform critically as if seeing it for the first time. "It could definitely be worse." It had a high collared jacket lined with a gold thread over the blue, a flap at the chest more fashionable than functionional. Under the jacket was a pair of high waisted blue pants that had a kind of skirt that opened in the front and back. Overall it was pretty elaborate and I wondered if it was a show of intimidation by the display of wealth. I realized my stare was lingering a little to long on the older man and cleared my throat. "And besides, people won't mistake Al for the Fullmetal Alchemist anymore if you actually look the part." 

"He's got a point there, kid," Havoc shrugged. 

Ed, realizing he was outnumbered, grimaced and backed away. "No means no!" He spun on his heel and ran from the room as if the hounds of Hell chased him, gloved hand snagging the door frame so he could throw himself around the corner and disappear from sight.

Roy sighed and pinched his nose. He tossed Ed's uniform over to Havoc and the man caught it with a raised brow. "You convince him, Jean. I don't have time for babysitting today."

"You got it, boss." He waved merrily over his shoulder with a devious grin before taking off down the hall after Edward.

"Pft, he's just happy to be getting out of paperwork," Breda muttered, looking down at the pile on his desk. Roy waved over his shoulder before disappearing back into his office without a backwards glance. The show clearly over, everyone went back to work, papers shuffling and ringing phones filling the air, the earlier playfulness slipping easily back into professionalism. Feeling distinctly out of place just standing there, I asked Furey where the training grounds were.

"They’re at the north exit on the first floor," he said, ever present smile on his face. I wondered how such an innocent looking man got into the military. Then again, it wasn’t as if there was a requirement to look tough or something to want to fight for your country. "It's the big field in the center of the complex, you can't miss it!"

After thanking him I left the now quiet office, heading down the stairs. I passed a few uniforms, and to my surprise, they acknowledged me as we crossed paths. Huh, there really must have been something to what Furey was saying about us being famous. I wondered what exactly they had heard…

I exited through the doors Furey had indicated, instantly getting soaked in the rain. I didn't mind it though, because I saw exactly what I was looking for; a large field cased in by the towering white walls surrounding Central Command, populated by a large group of soldiers, the mud covered men and women going through military drills. Their shouts echoed of the stone walls in a cacophony of exertion. Off to the side, a group drilled with practice weapons, swords and various firearms, and yet another group physical training through an obstacle course. I jogged over to the latter, boots squelching in the mud just audible over the din of shouts and clashing metal. It looked like several were just standing in line waiting their turn on the course, so I asked an idling soldier for help.

"Excuse me, where can I find major Armstrong?" 

The man I addressed started a little, as if he’d been lost in thought, and turned to face me.

My heart skipped several beats, adrenaline stinging my palms and I leapt back a couple feet, startled. Two steel blues set beneath short cropped onyx hair greeted me, a slight widening of his eyes the only indication of his surprise. His thin lips remained motionless on a squared jaw, the effect making it seem as though he’d crossed paths with a mildly interesting stranger rather than someone who had witnessed him almost commit murder. As I gaped at him like a fish out of water, he raised a black brow. 

"Oh, it's you. Never thought I would see you again," he said, the low rumble of his voice as expressionless as his face. 

Memories of what seemed to be a lifetime ago of Youswell, Yoki’s cruelty and dusty winds, came rushing back in a moment. I had met this man before, had seen him almost maim a child under the corrupt lieutenant’s orders. What was he doing here? Surely he would have faced... _ something _ for his involvement in that crooked operation we uncovered?

The tall man put his hands up in surrender to my raised hackles, as if trying to soothe a disgruntled dog. I grimaced in anger. "Whoa, no need to be so hostile. I'm not going to attack you or anything."

"You were one of those jerks with Yoki! I watched you almost maim some poor kid!" I spat.

"Nah, I wouldn't have done it. I noticed that your brother was there and figured he would stop me. Although, I thought it would be the tall one in the armor, not the short one who did." He mused.

I lowered my guard slightly, confused. "So, you weren't really following Yoki's orders?"

The man shook his head. "My partner and I were there to investigate Yoki, same as you. That man had been getting away with bankrupting that town for years and embezzling money from the military. We were sent in by the investigations department to check it out, gathering intel from him after we earned his trust. If Edward hadn't shown up, we would have brought him down through more….conventional means. But, well, his way worked to I guess…" he scratched the back of his head. "Ruined months of work," he mumbled.

So this guy was Amestris’ version of a spy? "Oh…um, sorry about that," I said, standing straight and dropping my guard, giving him a dubious expression. "So…investigations department, huh. So you must work with Hughes…"

"Yeah, he's my commanding officer.”

What little suspicion I had left drained away. I trusted Hughes, and trusted that he was a good judge of character. I couldn’t imagine the man would work with someone genuinely duplicitous.

“My name is Barret, by the way,” he continued, formally introducing himself even though I vaguely remembered his name. “I don't think we've ever properly met." 

He stuck out his hand. I took it. "Are you here to train?" he asked suddenly, the grip on my hand tightening. I nodded. "Then we should have a match. I see you've been trained by my father and I want to test your skill."

My jaw dropped. "You're Orkan's son?!" I scanned his face, not really seeing the connection. It was kind of difficult when I rarely ever saw Orkan without a deep scowl on his face. This guy might as well have been made of stone.

"The one and only," he said, smiling for the first time, however slight. And then it clicked. He had the same lopsided smirk as that old man. Also, another memory came forward, a gesture he’d made when he’d walked away from me in Youswell. It’d seemed so familiar at the time, although I couldn't place why. Now I realized that it was something he must have picked up from his father.

"I had no idea…" I said. "Master Orkan never talked much about himself."

Barret huffed dryly. “You call him Master? He must get a kick out of that.”

I smirked. “I think he enjoys it, actually.”

"Hm, I bet he does. It’s true, my old man doesn't like talking about himself. He never told me about you either. It's strange. I thought he had given up on training students." Barret gave me a slow onceover as if trying to weigh my value against Orkan’s apparent retirement. I shrugged.

“Let’s just say he had a good incentive.” 

“Orkan!” A man shouted from the other side of the feild and the both of us looked. The man guestured towards the climbing wall, signaling Barret’s turn on the course. Barret waved in acknowledgement.

"You'll find major Armstrong training the new recruits over there. Whatever you do, don't let him hug you." With those mysterious words, the man spun around jogged to the course, falling on his stomach without a second thought to the mud staining his uniform to crawl under barbed wire. I watched for a moment with my mouth hanging open before spinning on my heel and walking in the direction he indicated. That was…unexpected. I never even knew that Orkan had married, let alone had a son. A bubble of excitement rose in me as I remembered his obvious skill with his sword in our brief encounter in Youswell. I couldn't wait to cross blades with him. Orkan's son had to be as least as skilled as he was and would be a welcome challenge after so long on the sidelines. I resolved to call that old bastard and scold him for not telling me something so important.

I skirted around the edge of the yard and immediately spotted the man who must be major Armstrong. Actually I was pretty surprised I’d missed him in the first place. He was huge, easily the size of Basque Grand, if not bigger. I was wondering where in this world there were men large enough to wear suits of armor as big as the one that embodied Alphonse, only to run into two such men in the course of a couple days.

Armstrong towered over the recruits struggling to do push-ups in the mud, gesturing wildly with massive arms. For some reason, the large man wasn't wearing a shirt, although it was fairly cold outside. As I got closer his exuberant voice became audible over the din.

"That's it men," he shouted in a deep timbre. "Push like your life depends on it! There's only one way on this earth to obtain such exquisite beauty and strength as this, and it is through hard work! Pour out your very souls if you ever wish to be as gloriously strong as me! Alex Louise Armstrong!" He flexed his considerable muscles and the soldiers in front of him gave him looks varying from consternation to outright confusion. I myself had never seen a more flamboyant man, freezing to stare dumbly in surprise. If he emoted any brighter, he might actually burst into sparkles.

I backed away slowly, not quite sure I wanted to talk to the bald man, when he suddenly spotted me. Before I could react, he ran over to me in three large bounds and slid to a stop. He came at me with all the force of a truck, faster than I would have expected for someone his size, and it took all my courage to not back away. Up close, I could see that he wasn't entirely bald, and for some reason had a single lock of hair curling on his forehead, blonde like his mustache, and sparkling blue eyes. 

"You!" he shouted, and I wondered if that wasn't his default voice. It was hardly necessary to shout when I stood right in front of him. "You are Alex Elric, am I correct? To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit? Did you want to experience my superior training style up close?" He gestured widely to the recruits still struggling to do push-ups, looking like they were about to collapse in the mud. I wondered how long they had been at it.

"Um, no. I was wondering if I could use the training grounds while Edward is busy." Armstrong’s eyes widened before literally watering, as if he’d witnessed something truly beautiful. I rocked back on my heels, off balance.

"Oh, such dedication! To come here to train even though you aren't in the military to support your brother! Such devotion!" Before I could react, the buoyant man had me locked in his arms in a bone-crushing hug. I gasped, breath leaving me in a whoosh and seriously worried about my creeking ribs. He released me just as quickly and spun me around to face his men. I stumbled dizzily, whiplashed. "Look at young Alex here and follow his example, troops! I myself showed such devotion at his age, and look at me now! Why–"

He began ranting at his still struggling men, some of them glaring at him and others outright collapsing at this point. While he was distracted by himself, I slipped out from underneath his arm and pulled a tactical retreat. I ran halfway across the field, holding my newly bruised ribs and feeling as though I had barely escaped with my life. What a character…hard to believe I shared a name with someone so ridiculous. I didn’t envy the soldiers undergoing his ‘superior training style’.

Assuming I now had (enthusiastic) permission to use the field, I scanned for Barret, thinking to take him up on his challenge. I spotted him climbing over the last wall of the course, the man covered in mud from head to toe, and started to head over. He landed on his feet, shaking off bits of clay and grass, looking none the worse for wear though the course looked challenging.

He lifted his eyes spotted me, and I waved him over. 

"Mew…" I stopped dead in my tracks at the familiar sound, scanning the ground. It couldn't be…I thought it had run off…

"Mew…" It was closer now, and I nervously looked over my shoulder to make sure no one had noticed me. Then I spotted it. There, crawling along the edge of the wall, was the small chimera that had been following me around. It reached my feet and started to rub against my leg with a delighted pur. But I was anything but delighted. "What are you doing here?" I hissed. This was  _ not _ a good place for it to be wandering around. What if that general guy spotted us? I noticed that Barret getting closer, tilting his head curiously. Heart jumping, I snatched the small creature from the ground and shoved it in my shirt, the feline giving a startled yip.

"What was that?" Barret asked, stopping in front of me. I laughed nervously.

"It's just a kitten," I said quickly.

"Really," he drawled, monotone. "Because it looked like one of those escaped chimeras to me." I gulped and he lifted a brow. "Investigations, remember? If you want that thing to live, you'd better get it out of here now."

I nodded and looked around furtively. "Don't forget our match," Barret said suddenly. "You owe me one."

"I'll buy you coffee to make up for it later," I promised, waving and running back into the building. Before I dove inside, I shivered in alarm, catching the gazes of soldiers staring from across the field. Not good. I raced back to Mustang's wing and burst in, not caring that I was covering the floor in mud from my boots, only to stop short in surprise. 

Ed stood in the middle of the room, frowning deeply. It looked like Havoc had managed to get him into a military uniform after all. Clad head to toe in blue, he looked just as good as I thought he would, even a little taller, the gold thread highlighting his naturally blonde hair. But then again, that boy seemed to look good in anything he put on. I mused, not for the first time, that Edward would be absolutely gorgeous when he was older... 

Hawkeye was helping him adjust his collar as he sulked. The others carefully averted their eyes, but I could tell they were amused. Hawkeye’s fussing almost made her look like Ed’s mother, preparing him for his first day of highschool or something. The chain from his pocket watch gleamed prominently on the front of his pants.

"Wow, Ed, you look so…professional," I said, for lack of a better (or more appropriate) word.

"And you look like a drowned cat," he retorted, defensive even as color flushed his cheeks. The little chimera squirmed against my collar bone, reminding me of my current situation.

"Um, Ed, speaking of cats... we might have a slight problem," I said, tightening my arms to keep it still.

"What is it?" Ed stepped back from Hawkeye and gave my nervous form a onceover. Instead of answering, I grabbed his arm and dragged him from the room, Edward protesting loudly at the rough treatment but not fighting me. I shut the door in Mustang's men's bewildered faces and dragged my brother through the halls, filling him in as we ran.

"That thing came back? I thought it ran off this morning!"

"Yeah, well, it somehow found me, and worse, some soldiers saw me pick it up."

Someone shouted at us from down the hall and Ed cursed before grabbing my arm and jerking me out a side door. "You aren't going to get rid of that thing, are you?" Ed groaned as we waited for the footsteps to pass. He had pulled us into a dark, unused room, desks and furniture covered by canvas and dust.

"No," I whispered fiercely, "this little guy doesn't deserve to be slaughtered!"

Ed sighed. "I swear you and Alphonse are going to be the death of me." He rolled his eyes to the ceiling, as if his own brand of lunacy hadn’t gotten us in plenty of tight spots worse than this. Compared to, say, Lior, I thought he was being just a little hypocritical. 

I frowned. “I can’t believe all this fuss over such a little thing. What harm could it do?”

“Besides the fact that creating chimeras is illegal and this one seems to be military made?” Edward said sarcastically.

“..Right. I guess that could cause them some problems if that got out.” And that raised all sorts of uncomfortable thoughts, such as why they were creating them in the first place. I sincerely hoped it wasn’t the obvious solution; weapons or worse. But I couldn’t contemplate that now, not while we were on the run.  "Alright, let's just get this thing out of here first."

We waited until all was quiet again before bolting from the building and into the rain, Ed's blue uniform turning almost black with moisture. I followed after him as we sprinted out of Central Command and down the street, only slowing when ended up next to a small clock tower at the top of a hill. We stopped to catch our breaths, sitting on the low steps.

"Alex, brother, what are you two doing out here?" Alphonse called, his head poking up over the railing at the edge of the wall. He walked a few more steps and I realized there was a staircase leading down to a lower street on the other side. "I was just about to go find you!"

"Uh, we ran into a little trouble," I said, running my fingers through my damp bangs, abashed.

"Yeah,  _ genius _ here got caught with a chimera."

"You mean that little one? I thought it ran away."

"Yeah, well," I said, getting tired of explaining myself. "It came back. Look, we need to get it somewhere safe before we get caught. I got spotted and a few guys are after us now. If we don't move we'll be in trouble."

"Too late," A growl came from behind us. Edward and I jumped to our feet, none other than Brigadier General Basque Grand himself striding into view, wearing a deep scowl and his iron fisted hands rigid at his sides.

Edward grabbed my arm as if to pull me behind him, but we were stopped by the general's bark. "Where do you think you are going, Fullmetal? Acknowledge your superior officer."

Ed stopped in his tracks and turned around slowly, eyes blazing in fury. For a moment he looked like he would rebel, but then he reluctantly snapped a salute. "Yes sir," he gritted out between clenched teeth. Grand loomed over us, glaring down from his impressive height, and I could feel Edward to go rigid against my arm, my own back clenching in anticipation for a fight.

"Careful, Fullmetal." Grand leaned into Edward's face, and I could hear the boy grinding his teeth, barely holding back from punching the man outright. "I would hate to see you disciplined for insubordination. Now hand it over."

I bit my lip, the obvious threat like a splash of cold water down my spine. Edward could get disciplined for this, because of  _ my _ actions? What was I  _ doing? _ Was this creature really worth Edward getting in trouble with the military? I looked down between the shivering lump in my shirt and my older brother, maternal instincts warring with my conscience and the need to protect Edward. Reluctantly, I decided it wasn't. I stroked the creature one last time in apology and then pulled it out of my shirt. Grand's cold eyes turned to me and I glared back, thrusting the creature at him. It made piteous noises from being exposed to the cold and my hand started shaking, urging me to pull it back. It was so small...so helpless...but I didn't, jaw spasming in the struggle to hold back.

"That's more like it," Grand drawled, smug. "You should take lessons in obedience from your younger brother, Fullmetal. You might live longer." The large man snatched the chimera from my hand and I almost became physically ill, palm stinging and empty. Alphonse placed a hand on my shoulder and I felt his helplessness and disgust as well, connecting the three of us.

Grand stepped away, holding the chimera harshly by its neck and glaring at it as if it were a distasteful piece of garbage. "I have no idea why you are protecting this disgusting thing. It was made by alchemy, an abomination of nature, created by alchemists only to be experimented on and then destroyed. It's not even worth as much as a real animal." His words hit me like hammer blows, Alphonse holding me closer in agitation. Grand could have been talking about either one of us, not just the squirming creature in his cruel grip. If that was the opinion of one of the highest ranking officers in the military, then what chance did we stand if the truth were revealed? Would our fates be like this innocent animal’s? It didn't bear thought. 

With a final dismissive snort, Grand turned his back on us and began to walk away, the little chimera howling in his grip, its piteous screeches echoing harshly off the streets and stabbing at my heart. 

The three of us stood there for several seconds, impotent. My hand gripped Edward’s arm harshly, and I don’t know what expression I was making, but it couldn’t have been pretty with Alphonse’s despair compounding my own. Slowly, Edward looked to both Alphonse and I and saw that we were both shaking. His eyes narrowed, and before either of us could stop him, he broke our grip surged forward suddenly and furiously, as if to tackle into Grand’s exposed back. Panic gripped us, and we threw our arms out as one to catch him, but were too late.

“Ed!” 

“Brother, wait!”

Before Ed reached the general, however, Grand stopped on his own, Edward skidding to a stop as well. Alphonse and I scrambled to catch up, freezing in our tracks once we had him back between us.

A figure stepped out from behind the clock tower, and I was struck with familiarity for the second time that day. I had met this man–whose aura and stoic glare blocked Grand’s forward motion more effectively than his considerable size–on a rainy day such as this. It was the same man with the scar across his face who comforted me in the wake of Tucker’s attack. His scar, about the only thing I remembered vividly, stood out starkly on his tanned skin, scowl deep and menacing behind dark sunglasses.

"Get out of my way," Grand menaced, but the man did not budge.

"You're Basque Grand, the Iron Blood Alchemist," the man said in a low, quiet voice. I shivered, the sound bringing back memories and emotions I would rather not recall.

"Who wants to know?" Grand didn’t seem cowed, though there was something in the charge in the air that had my hairs standing on end.

The man lifted his hand in front of his face, as if invoking a memory from his palm. "Foolish alchemists who turn their backs on the ways of God," he intoned before he clenched his hand into a claw, forearm bulging beneath his yellow coat, "shall all be punished."

"I see," Grand said calmly. "You must be the bloodthirsty murderer who's been targeting state alchemists lately," he threw the chimera harshly to the side and it skidded across the ground before getting to its feet and bolting with a cry. None of us reacted to its flight, too involved in the drama playing out before eyes.

Grand lifted his ironclad fists to mirror the stranger’s threat. "Well, you've chosen the wrong target!" With a crash, he slammed his fists together and then into the ground, blue light sparking as the stones convulsed beneath him. From the writhing mass, the unmistakable shapes of gun barrels emerged, immediately firing in concussive blasts, the transformation not taking longer than a few seconds to complete. We stumbled back in alarm as the two were suddenly thrown into all out battle, scrambling to find cover lest we got caught in the crossfire.

The scarred man dodged Grand's attacks easily, impossibly fast, even as Grand changed tactics, iron chains bursting from the ground to grasp at him. "You're not getting away that easily," Grand shouted. As if his arm were a machine gun, he fired rapidly, bullets pounding into the surrounding buildings but none reaching their mark as the stranger dodged and weaved to stay in front of the line of fire.

The assault failed, and Grand pulled his hands back to switch tactics again. 

He never got the chance.

Faster than the general could react, the scarred man dashed right in front of him, putting Grand on the defensive. With an angry bellow, Grand brought his fist down, but stumbled back when his opponent slammed his hand into his forehead and gripped it hard. Grand froze, body seizing before going perfectly still, as if his opponent had paralyzed him. "Now you perish," the stranger said softly, as if in prayer. The light on the street seemed to dim as the air crackled with electricity, ozone cloying on the back of my tongue as the man’s arm began to glow crimson.

With a blinding flash of light, Grand's head burst apart in a shower of gore. 

Horrified, my vision blurred and my stomach roiled as I watched, terror making me numb to all else. Edward and Alphonse didn't fare much better, both of them shaking at my sides. But I couldn’t take my eyes off of the scene before me.

The area fell silent again, nothing but the pattering of rain against the ground and the rushing in my ears to be heard as the three of us trembled, frozen where we stood. The scarred man dropped the once powerful general, and the body fell heavily with a sick smack on the sodden ground below. 

“I think I’m going to be sick,” I gasped, slapping a hand over my mouth before ripping my eyes from the corpse, it’s eyes blown out like the rest of it’s brains, leaving sightless husks to stare blankly at the sky. A steady pool of blood grew around the body, flowing through the moisture and licking at the edges of our frozen boots.

It was a nightmare, and I couldn’t wake up.

Edward stumbled back a few steps and I gripped my shoulder so his shaking legs wouldn’t give out on him. My hand jerked over the small of my back where my weapons hid, but I couldn't seem to force myself to draw them. 

And then we were pinned by the strangers glare.

"So…" he rumbled. "You were a state alchemist as well." He glared hatefully at the chain of the pocket watch prominently displayed at the front of Edward's pants. "I shouldn't be surprised, seeing the atrocities you have created." 

Edward didn’t,  _ couldn’t _ , react, eyes wide as if staring into death itself. A small whimper from the terrified boy wrenched me free of my paralysis in a surge of adrenaline, pulling Edward behind me with shaking hands, Alphonse stepping forward as well, armor clanking with tremors to match my own. Heedless of our protective movements, the menacing man stalked leisurely forward, carelessly stepping over Grand's body as if he’d been no more than an inconvenient piece of garbage in his way. Grand hadn’t been a good man. But no one deserved this.

"I will destroy you, like all the others."

A strangled sound escaped me, aware suddenly and irrevocably how out of our depth we were in the face of this monster. I spun on my heel, catching Edward’s glassy gaze and saying with all the force I could muster through my clenched throat,  _ “Run!” _

Without further prompting, Alphonse, Edward and I ran for our lives.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a lot. I probably should have broken this into two parts, but figured I didn't want to bore you guys by getting too descripty. Action, we need action!
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed! Throwing us headlong into the thick of the next arch and it's going to be pretty intense for a few chapters ;) especially since the next 'episode' is my second favorite of the whole series :D
> 
> Next Chapter: Edward will do anything to keep his brothers safe, but the reality is that sometimes even his best efforts aren't enough.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and the boys find themselves running for their lives. Again.

My heart roared in my ears as I followed Edward closely down the long staircase, Al's steel feet slamming loudly on the ground behind us. Adrenaline spike to the max, I struggled to breathe, almost to the point of hyperventilation. I was reminded vividly of the night I had fled the Tucker estate. It had been raining then too, and instead of the scarred man being my supposed savior, this time he was out for blood.

Edward swore and stumbled badly as the stairs beneath us shifted with a thunderous crack before coming apart in a shower of stone, throwing us into the air like rag dolls. Abruptly weightless, I screamed, staring wide eyed at the open space below me, my stomach jumping into my throat in terror. Before Ed and I could make it very far, I felt a violent jerk on the back of my collar. Al, who had somehow managed to catch us, strained to hold on to us as the loosened railing he clung to buckled under our combined weight. I stared down at the cobblestone street several stories below us and scrabbled at Al's hand, trying to get ahold of something, anything.

The scarred man jumped through the debris like a calm jungle cat and landed on his feet on the platform below. Coolly, he placed his hand on the wall and it shattered under his touch, breaking the precarious grip Alphonse had on the railing and sending us all down to the next level. Ed and I slammed painfully into the stone, but we didn't have a second to rest as the man began stalking towards us again. "Hold on," Ed shouted, slamming his hands on the ground. The stairs writhed and then transformed into a protrusion of stone that extended us out over the street as I held on desperately, the sudden G-force nearly throwing me off.

"You're not getting away that easily," our assaulter claimed, turning our ride into dust. As it deconstructed beneath us, we were thrown down the slope of the street. We tumbled for a few steps before gaining our feet and continuing our desperate flight through the sodden streets.

"What the hell is this guy's problem," Ed exclaimed from behind me. "I don't remember doing anything that would make someone want to kill me!"

"Don't be modest," I gasped. "You are just so good at making friends!"

"Hey, if he's anyone's friend, he's yours! You saw him first!"

"Well you pissed him off!"

"Guys! This really isn't the time!" Al's words were soon proven true as the building beside us suddenly exploded, sending debris into our path. We skidded around the next corner and raced into an alleyway. We were forced to jump back, however, as the scarred man caused part of it to collapse in a violent shower of rubble, blocking our exit. He stood menacingly at the only way out, his long shadow to snaking into the dark alley like a threatening barrier. We backed away, cornered.

"Who are you, anyway?" Ed shouted. "Why are you after us!?"

"As long as there are creators in this world, there must also be destroyers."

"What the hell kind of reason is that?!" Edward muttered incredulously before looking over his shoulder at us. Al and I nodded as one. I took out my tonfa and held them before me aggressively while Alphonse did the same with his armored fists. "Looks like we are going to have to fight!" Ed grabbed a pipe sticking out of the debris behind us and quickly transmuted it into a wicked knife, bringing it in front of him with a clank of metal.

Together, we charged at the man, our feet splashing in the puddles on the street. My heart beat wildly as we got closer to the still composed figure who seemed completely unconcerned that three armed teenagers were threatening his person. 

A second later he showed us why.

"Too slow," he said, before spinning rapidly and throwing Ed into the street while swinging his leg out and slamming me and Alphonse back into the alley. I didn't see the blow coming, but I certainly felt it when his foot blasted into my gut and blew the air out of my lungs. I smashed back into the wall with a crack and fell to my hands and knees, coughing as I struggled to breathe through the pain.

Al got to his feet before me and tried to attack, shielding me behind his large body, but the man was too quick. With a cold gaze he destroyed another section of the wall, sending stone falling down on our heads. I looked up and watched, as if in slow motion, the stones and sharp metal falling towards us. There was nowhere to escape, nowhere to hide, and not even a moment to draw more than a strangled breath for a cry of terror.

The next few moments were a blur of confusion and pain as I screamed, unable in my panic to hear my own voice. I was slammed into repeatedly, and when the dust cleared I found myself pinned to the ground by stone and iron bars. Alphonse stood above me holding a large section of the wall, his arms creaking with the effort, keeping me from being completely crushed. I struggled to move, but severe spikes of brittle, sharp pain through my ribs and legs incapacitated me me. I clenched my teeth in agony.

"Al! Alex!" Ed screamed, rushing back to the alley at the scarred man with a furious cry.

Casually, our attacker grabbed Edward's leading arm. A crackling of lightning later,  and the boy was blasted back with a startled yell. The cloth around where the man had touched was instantly shredded, but after a few heart stopping moments, Edward lifted his arm with wide eyes, apparently undamaged. 

"Automail," the scarred man said to himself. "Of course. That's why it couldn't be deconstructed like flesh…" 

I groaned in agony as Al struggled to hold the weight above us, armor creaking loudly with the strain. My vision blurred as I struggled to stay awake. "Alex, hold on," Al begged, strain apparent in his voice. I tried to move, but my bones shifted and cracked beneath the weight of the stone that had me pinned. My jaw opened in a silent scream as starbursts of light obscured my vision, the animalistic terror of  _ wrong _ consuming me totally. I coughed convulsively and blood trickled out of my mouth. I couldn't…breathe…

"Alex, stop moving! Stay with me! Alex!" The stone shifted above us and Al fell to his knees.

Spots danced before my eyes…and then my vision went black.

* * *

 

Edward fell back with a startled cry as the man sent a wave of powerful energy through his fake limb, jarring his entire body and shredding the sleeve of his blue military uniform. Pushing aside the shock, he got back to his feet and brought his hands up immediately, clapping them together before transmuting the protection plates on his automail arm into a long knife. Edward's heart, which had already been pounding in his ears in terror, now roared in his chest with fury. The man stood in between him and his brothers and he was going to get the hell out of Edward’s way, or Ed was going to  _ make _ him.

Ed's eyes flickered to Alex and even as Ed watched, the boy fell limp, Al still trying to keep them both from being crushed.

Dammit! Ed's eyes flickered between them and his opponent, on the edge of complete panic. He had to finish this now!

"I see," the murderer said in his deep voice, completely unaffected by the plight of the beings behind him. "You create transmutation circle with your arms."

Edward surged forward with a cracked yell, his automail arm leading, intending to cause as much damage as he could, beyond the point of caring that this was another human being. No one hurt his brothers, dammit! NO ONE.

But as before, Edward was no match. His weaponized arm was snatched out of the air faster than he could blink, his opponent glaring down dispassionately at the struggling teen. Ed twisted with all his might, but the hand holding him was as strong as the steel his automail was made of. "I'll just have to get rid of this then."

A flash of light was suddenly all the blond could see, and then all he could feel was agony as all of the nerves in his port fired off at once. His mouth opened in a silent scream as he slammed into the ground and convulsed, the shattered remains of his automail scattering around him in harsh clatters that his ears couldn’t detect past the roaring of adrenaline in his veins. For several seconds he lay immobile, unable to process the onslaught of pain, even worse than getting his automail attached for the first time.

When he came to with a violent jerk, the man was still standing in the same spot. In between him and his brothers. With blurred eyes, Ed stared at them, trying desperately to push back his pain enough to move. They were hurt! In trouble! And he wasn't doing anything, frozen from weakness. A cry from Alphonse made the man before the injured boy twitch and begin to turn towards the trapped brothers, and Ed experienced an almost painful surge of adrenaline, forcing his unresponsive limbs to lift him off the ground before the scarred man could do any more damage. NO!

With drunken steps he ran at the terrorist and swung his automail leg wildly, intending to slam it into his despicable neck. But that was also caught easily. "This too," the man said and in another flash of blinding light Edward was again thrown to the ground. This time, the pain lasted a lot longer, and he could feel blood trickling from his leg where his port attached. Edward choked on his air and tears streamed down his face as he twitched in pain, another of his limbs scattered on the street. Rain still continued to sprinkle on his face, doing nothing for him as his body felt like it was on fire.

"Brother!" Al desperately cried from where he was trapped under the portion of the wall. Ed saw him try to come to his aid, but the stone shifted dangerously and Al fell a little closer to the ground.

"Don't move, Al!" Ed gasped, struggling to sit up despite his agony. Alex was limp beneath Alphonse and he wasn't moving. Ed's breath caught in his throat. He  _ wasn't moving! _ The large man stepped towards him, and Ed snapped back to his own desperate situation. Edward tried to back up, but fell on his side, his missing arm no longer there to break his fall.

He glared at the despicable man stalking towards him, vision blurring at the edges. Why!? It was so unfair. Only that morning they had been wrestling on the floor, having fun. Al had laughed, and Alex had looked so happy! How could this have happened?

The man sauntered forward, and every time his boot hit the unyielding ground, it was a peal thunder to the besieged boy.

Edward’s every instinct wanted him to  _ move _ , to run away, but he was as helpless as a kitten, metal limbs destroyed and mind blown white with pain. He looked up into the man's cold, dead eyes hidden behind dark glasses, and saw death. 

Death for him, and death for his brothers.

"Just promise me one thing," Ed said in a rasping, terrified voice, grasping onto his last shred of hope. The man tilted his head and Ed continued, a little stronger. "You are only after me, right? Just promise me you won't go after my brothers…"

The older man glared coldly at the defeated state alchemist beneath him, as if he were a mere bug beneath his feet waiting to be crushed. "It is only you that will be receiving judgment today. I give my word."

The man brought his hand slowly towards the boy's head, and Edward felt himself go limp. This was it. With his sacrifice, maybe the menace would leave and Al and Alex could get help.

Even as a cripple, he could do this.

He heard his brother screaming at him to get up and run, but Ed couldn't, even if he had wanted to. It had all led up to this point. It was over…"I'm sorry, Al…Alex…" he whispered. "I won't be able to get our bodies back after all…"

The scarred man rested his hand gently on Edward's head in a sick imitation of comfort. "Praise God, for you are saved." Ed closed his eyes bitterly at the words. No, if there ever was a God, He had abandoned the boy long ago. Before the scarred man could strike his final blow, Edward thought of the gentle touch of his mother. 

His heart slowed. His body eased. Then...he let go.

"That's enough!" 

A voice, punctuated with the resounding crack of a firearm, wrent the dreary air and shattered off the streets around them. Ed's eyes snapped open as the hand that had been against his brow abruptly pulled back, the boy taking a breath he had not expected to take ever again, heart jumpstarting violently in his chest and setting every nerve on fire.

Mustang stood at the end of the street, his men surrounding him with guns pointed at the terrorist. The colonel stood in front with a furious expression on his face, taking in the damage done to Edward Elric and his brothers. Some of the men behind him skirted around 'Scar', as he had been dubbed by the investigations department, and went to Alphonse's side, immediately beginning to help him clear the rubble from Alex, who appeared to be unconscious. Scar stepped over the prone form of Edward, whose fake limbs scattered the ground around him in a growing puddle of blood beneath the stump of his leg, the red snaking into the puddles on the sodden streets. Mustang growled in fury to see the boys in such condition. They were placed under  _ his _ protection!  _ No one _ hurt his men!

"Lieutenant colonel Mustang," Scar growled in the back of his throat. "The Flame Alchemist. It seems God has put you in my path as well." In a burst of motion, he launched himself at the colonel, grinning rabidly. "This is truly an auspicious day!" 

Mustang’s hand lifted automatically to snap, releasing all of his fury in a mighty wave of cleansing flame, but he cursed when he realized that his ignition glove was wet. Damn useless…! He fired his handgun at the man, Hawkeye falling in beside him and doing the same, her expression fierce. Faster than should be physically possible, Scar disappeared from the line of fire, taking cover from the rain of bullets.

Havoc swiftly ran to Edward's side, pulling the boy to a sitting position. "Ed, are you still with me?" he asked the shocked young man. Edward nodded numbly, eyes still blown open wide and breathing as if every breath were his last as he watched the stalemate between Mustang and Scar.

"It is unfortunate that you cannot make your blasphemous flames, state alchemist." Scar growled as he stepped from his cover. "For it will only aid me as I destroy everyone who would interfere with my mission, right here and now!"

"I'd like to see you try it!" A huge figure bounded up behind scar and slammed a massive fist into the ground, sending crushed stone flying from the spot the tanned man had been standing. Scar deftly dodged out of the way with his inhuman speed and faced the newcomer.

The large, bald man stood to his full height, an impressive seven feet. He was built like a tank, and had a short blond mustache and a single lock of curled yellow hair. "You have to be quick to avoid my fist! Not bad!" Alex Armstrong said in an exuberant voice, blue eyes sparkling even in the dim afternoon light. "You said you were going to destroy us all. In that case, why don't you start by defeating me!? Alex Louise Armstrong, the Strong Arm Alchemist!"

"Another state alchemist," Scar said, exposing his canines fiercely. "God is putting them in my path for me."

"Not backing down? For your courage you deserve a demonstration." He picked up a large brick from the ground and tossed it into the air. "Behold! The art of alchemy that has been passed down the Armstrong family for generations!" He slammed his fist into the stone and it exploded into a barrage of spikes.

"Who is he?" Ed asked Havoc, the drama before them sounding muted to his ears through the lingering shock. The older man had lifted him from the sodden ground, his presence a comforting warmth at the exhausted boy's side as he watched the ludicrous battle.

"We call him Scar. He's the one who has been murdering state alchemists lately," He said lowly. "Hey, Armstrong! Try not to destroy the whole city, won't you!"

"What do you mean!?" The exuberant man suddenly took of his shirt and flexed his considerable muscles, nearly blinding everyone in the vicinity. "Creation and destruction are two sides of the same coin! You must destroy to create! That is the law of the universe!"

Havoc grimaced. "Great, I shouldn't have said anything. The lunatic's taken off his shirt again…"

"Most alchemists would not understand that basic truth, but we do, don't we Scar?" Armstrong said to his opponent, suddenly sober.

"Of course," Ed said, the sudden realization hitting him. "He's an alchemist too! I didn't realize it because he stops at the deconstruction stage of alchemy, simply destroying everything in a violent release of energy instead of using that energy to recreate matter into something new."

"The who what now? I don't know anything about alchemy kid…But if Scar is an alchemist as well, doesn't that mean he's strayed from his way of god…?"

In a burst of strength and sudden motion, Armstrong launched himself at his opponent and furiously began raining blows with alchemy and his bare fists. It was a stunning display of strength to watch the two battle, Armstrong's fists moving faster than the eye could see and Scar dodging just as quickly, destroying everything Armstrong sent at him in brilliant flashes of light.

"But why is he only targeting alchemists with a state certification?" Mustang mumbled to himself, stepping beside Edward and Havoc as he watched. He glanced at his young charge, taking in the considerable damage and grimacing angrily before sending a glare at Scar.

Scar backpedalled furiously as Armstrong suddenly upped the ante. He dodged left, then right, and then found himself against a wall with no way to escape. "I have you cornered Scar!" Armstrong brought his fist down powerfully and Scar extended his hand, about to destroy the alchemist before him no matter how much damage he took, when Armstrong abruptly pulled back.

Scar looked around in surprise, and barely dodged as a barrage of bullets slammed into the wall beside him. He dodged them all, save for one stray that grazed his temple, knocking off the glasses that hid his eyes from view. They fell with a dull clatter on the ground. Slowly, Scar lifted his eyes, and a flash of crimson had everyone gasping in dreaded recognition.

"Red eyes and brown skin! You are an Ishvalan!" Armstrong stumbled back as he stared into the familiar red eyes that he had hoped to never see again.

"Perhaps there are too many…" Scar muttered to himself, ignoring the talk around him. Before anyone could make another move, he dropped to the ground and it shattered beneath him in a blast of dust and debris.

When the dust cleared, Mustang looked down into the sizable hole that had been created. "Damn, he escaped into the sewers…" He looked over his shoulders to his men. "Don't follow him."

"You don't have to tell me twice," Havoc muttered.

"Sorry, Armstrong," Mustang said, patting his fellow alchemist on the arm. "Thanks for buying us some time."

"I was hardly buying time," Armstrong said, his usual exuberance subdued. "It was all I could do not to be killed. That man is no novice."

"Is it over?" The two men turned as Hughes popped his head out from behind a truck, taking in the scene.

"Lieutenant colonel Hughes, where have you been this whole time!" Armstrong said, incensed.

"What do you mean!? What was I supposed to do in a fight between inhuman freaks?! No thanks, us normal folk should stick back!"

Mustang sighed irritably. "Just get to work, Hughes."

"Right, what are you all standing around for, get a perimeter up and circulate Scar's image!"

"Yes sir!" Hughes' men moved out in a flurry of flying coat tails and pounding feet.

"Al! Alex!" Ed shouted, his voice strangled and tense, breaking from his reverie and crawling towards where he could see his brothers still struggling in the destroyed alley. He ground his teeth in frustration as he could not see what was going on from his vantage point on the wet street.

"Whoa, kid, let me help you," Havoc said, lifting Ed to his one foot. He stumbled as Ed strained against him trying to get to his brothers. The men who had come with Mustang had managed to shift the debris off of Alex and moved him from the wreckage. Alphonse let down the huge slab of stone with a crash and ran to Alex's prone form just as Edward got there himself. Edward pushed off of Havoc and fell to the ground harshly on his side, and crawled the rest of the way towards his younger brother.

The men surrounding Alex backed off as the two boys reached him, giving the brothers space. After all, there was nothing they could do for the boy…Mustang walked forward, gesturing for the spares to follow Hughes. With a salute, they left, leaving only his personal cabinet behind. Mustang turned his gaze towards the three brothers and watched in silence, heart sinking and expression grim. What a tragedy...he had just started to see the intriguing young man as a friend, and then this happened...

"Alex…Alex!" Ed screamed, taking in the damage to his little brother. The boy's legs were crushed, blood oozing out of them from several places where the stone had pierced his clothes and flesh, but worst of all, the left part of his chest was caved in, a bloody furrowed indention in his side. Ed's shaking hand hovered over Alex uselessly, but there was nothing he could do. 

Alex's eyes, usually so bright and full of life, were wide open and reflecting the grey sky, blank and dull. Dead.

"No…" Al whispered, his armor shaking with his grief. "I couldn't protect him. The building was falling… and I wasn't strong enough…!"

Ed's breath hitched in denial and he slowly brought his face to Alex, resting against chest. He listened hard over the pounding of his own heart to hear the beating of his little brother's.

"Come on, Alex, where are your amazing healing powers? Come on…!" The seconds ticked by and Hawkeye walked forward and placed a hand on Edward's shoulder.

"Ed, he's gone…He's not breathing..."

"Come on…!" Ed growled desperately, shaking off her hand with a violent twist of his shoulder and hunching over Alex. The adults shook their heads and looked between each other forlornly. A long minute passed by in silence and Ed's face crumpled in grief as the boy's chest continued to remain still. Edward lifted his head slowly and placed his hand gently on Alex's cheek. The earring he had made him clinked slightly as he brushed Alex's hair aside, trying to see some spark of light in the boy's uncharacteristically dull eyes. But there was nothing...

Alphonse, who had been silently sitting back, leaned forward as well, his armor clanking. He gently picked up Alex's lifeless hand and brought it to his face, hoping beyond hope to feel something of their connection, some piece of his soul that remained…

Silence was all he heard.

It couldn't be...Why wasn't Alphonse stronger? Why couldn't he protect him? It wasn't fair that he had to leave them…not like this. Never like this…

Mustang turned away, and he gestured for his officers to follow him. When Hawkeye would not budge, he patted her on the shoulder and pulled her away. "Sir," Hawkeye whispered, "We need to get an ambulance for Edward..."

"One is already on its way. Let them mourn in peace until then." The woman nodded, a deep frown on her face, and the two respectfully turned their backs, walking a decent distance away.

Ed leaned forward and kissed his brother on the brow, his cheeks wet from crying and eyes clenched shut in grief. Alex was still warm, and for just a moment, Ed wanted to imagine that he would simply wake up from a dream and Alex would be alright, laughing and annoying him like he had that morning.

But the wide open eyes and the blood on his face denied that fantasy when Ed opened his eyes. The boy choked out a sob and pulled away, feeling helpless.

As he leaned back, his pocket watch fell loose from his pocket and brushed Alex on the side. Irritably, he started to grab it and put it back in his pocket.

"Ed! I felt something!" Al exclaimed, causing everyone's eyes to be drawn to the suddenly animated suit of armor.

Ed dropped the pocket watch he had just grabbed in shock and this time it fell heavily on Alex's chest with a solid thump. As it struck him, a bout of red sparks arched between the watch and the boy, and for a brief second, Alex's dull green eyes flashed a vibrant red before fading back to emptiness.

"That was it! Ed, he's reacting to your watch!" Alphonse gripped Alex's hand desperately as he felt a spark of emotion from the still boy. He could still be saved!

Ed grabbed the watch and held it in front of his face dumbly.

"Mustang," Ed yelled suddenly. Mustang walked back to the two boys curiously.

"What is it Fullmetal?" He had seen the sparks the watch had emitted and he was frowning deeply.

"You said when you gave me this pocket watch that it served as an alchemical booster for state alchemists. Why is that?"

"I'm not exactly sure, but what does that have to do with–Ed, what are you doing?!" the man shouted in alarm.

Edward ripped the silver watch on his belt and began slamming it on the ground furiously. "There's only one thing–"  _ slam _ "that Alex reacts to–"  _ slam _ "like that–" he slammed it again and the watch shattered against the concrete. Pieces of the watch flew in different directions, glimmering silver parts flying and flashing through the air as the shattered glass gleamed in the light. A small capsule was revealed as he brushed the debris away. "and it can save him!" Ed grabbed the small silver capsule and broke it open, revealing gleaming red stones.

Mustang reared back, adrenaline spiking horrifically, breath catching in his throat. What the hell...? He flinched instinctively as Edward snatched one of the red stones from the ground, too shocked to school his reaction.

Edward frantically grabbed one of the stones and moved it towards Alex's lips desperately. "Brother, wait," Al cautioned, stopping Edward in his tracks. "What if he goes crazy again? You know how terrified he is of that happening."

"At least he'll still be alive," Edward looked into his remaining brother's red eyes fiercely, and a moment passed between them. Al nodded.

"Do it."

Edward brought the little gem, red as Alex's blood that still stained his face, to the still boy's lips and placed it in his mouth.

Mustang's black eyes flickered between the three boys in confusion, not sure exactly what was going on. He didn't have a moment to think about it however when he was suddenly blinded by a flash of red. Mustang reeled as a powerful gust of wind pushed him back with a bright wave of red lightning, the sparks charging the air and making his hair stand on end. He squinted through the red and white haze, trying to make out what exactly was going on.

Alex was the center of the blaze, violently reacting to the red stone Edward had given to him. His body physically lifted from the earth as energy crackled in concussive waves. All of the power contained in the red stone--the sinful, corrupted miasma that Mustang new it contained--wrent the wind and raised gooseflesh along Mustang’s spine, haunting memories raising an alarm in him that he had not felt for what felt like a lifetime.

So many questions veered through Mustang's head, like  _ why _ the stones were in the pocket watch and for what reason Alex would react to them so violently. But he had no time to consider any of it as each new wave of energy threatened to throw him down the street. Edward and Alphonse were faring no better, the latter supporting his older brother as they struggled to not be swept away by the maelstrom. Armstrong, moved behind the boys and held them in place, his weight an anchor in the gale. For several more moments the reaction buffeted them, to the point where  Mustang wondered if it would destroy the whole street, when, as violently as it began, it ended in a final pulse of energy, knocking them all on their backs. 

The wind died down, the sparks faded, and Alex lay recumbent on the street once more.

Stunned in the sudden stillness, Mustang cautiously lowered the arms protecting his face. He took stock of his men. Hawkeye shakily levered herself off the ground where she had been thrown, eyes blown wide, assisted by an equally shaken Havoc. Breda and Furey peeked out of an alley where they had taken refuge, the younger squinting through his spectacles as if prepared to throw himself right back out of the line of fire should the wind so much as flutter. Falman stepped out behind them as well, holding his gun at the ready, his usual stoic face slack. 

Satisfied, Mustang shifted his attention back to the two young men, who sat huddled over their fallen brother, Fullmetal broken body a limp weight against Alphonse’s sturdy form.

Adrenaline still rushing from the staggering reaction, Edward looked down at the prone form of the boy, shaking in the aftermath of the stone that was  _ a lot _ more potent than anything they had come in contact with before. He should have been wondering why it was in his watch in the first place-- and even now, in the back of his mind he pondered-- but all he had eyes for was his younger brother.

Alex lay still, unmoving. At some point in the reaction his eyes had fallen closed, hiding any indication of his life returning, but Edward placed a hand trembling on his chest and was reassured to feel a steady heartbeat. He scanned the rest of Alex’s body, noting that the injuries that had seemed so grievous before had been completely healed. Alex’s chest rose and fell slowly, clothes destroyed beyond repair, but skin blessedly undamaged.

"He's still not moving," Alphonse said, voice trembling.

"Yeah, but…" Edward slipped his frigid fingers gently Alex's cheek, absorbing the healthy flush he had been missing before. "Last time he came in contact with a red stone in Lior, he said he passed out. I think…" Ed let out a huff of released tension as he ran his hands over where Alex's horrible injuries had been. "I think he'll be alright…" Ed’s lips twitched in a broken facsimile of a smile.

"He's going to be mad that we used a red stone on him…" Alphonse said distractedly, touching Alex's hand and sighing in relief when he got a brief glimpse of Alex’s dream. "We promised…"

Edward huffed a disbelieving laugh. "It saved his life, Al. I think he will make an exception."

"I talked with him on the roof last night, brother. I think he really resents how his contact with the red stone is changing him…" Now that he knew his brother was safe, other concerns started to cloud Alphonse's mind.

The two boys looked down at their slumbering brother in slight concern, but it did not overshadow the relief they felt that Alex was still alive.

"We'll just have to help him through it when the time comes," Ed mumbled.

Mustang stood back, watching, and Armstrong walked up to his side.

"There has to be a really good story behind those three boys," Armstrong said.

"You don't know the half of it…" Mustang mumbled. "Hell, I don't even know the half of it…" Although, he reflected, he did know a fair bit. His conversation with Alex had confirmed some of his guesses about the boy, though never in his wildest dreams did he expect something like this to happen. Alex looked completely healed, and judging by the expression on Ed's face, he would be just fine. A glimmer of red drew Mustang's eye, and he spotted a piece of the red stone lying innocuously on the sidewalk next to his foot. He picked it up and examined it, feeling its alchemical signature through his glove. No, it wasn't the weapon they had used in Ishval all those years ago, but it was similar. And much weaker…He pocketed it. He would have to have Hughes and his crew sweep the area thoroughly later, making sure no evidence was left behind. He had just stumbled on something big, and he wanted no interference…

"Armstrong," Mustang said, drawing the large man's attention. "That was some strange storm we suddenly experienced. The weather in this city can be quite unpredictable, wouldn't you say?"

Armstrong turned his gaze back towards the boys in consideration. Edward was wiping the tears off his face and Alphonse beginning to tend to the boy's bleeding leg, wrapping it in cloth. The remainder of Edward's blue jacket, half shredded and covered in blood, was draped over Alex's still form, and the boy who had been clearly dead moments before, seemed to now be sleeping peacefully. He looked to the sky, which had finally begun clearing for the first time in over a week, the sunset peaking through. "Yes sir."

* * *

 

Several hours later, Mustang was staring over his carded hands, his elbows resting on his desk. His officers were seated on the red couches or standing behind them, waiting for their debrief of what they had all just experience. Edward and Alphonse were there, as well as Armstrong and the rest of his most trusted men. Hawkeye stood faithfully at his side, her calm presence a comfort for the stressed colonel. Hughes leaned against the window on his other side, looking down onto the street below. He had spent the last couple hours scouring the scene with his men, and they had managed to collect the pieces of Edward's watch as well as most of the pieces of his automail and Alex's weapons. They sat in a box beside the colonel's desk.

Edward was looking the most worse for wear. His leg port had been damaged, some of the shards of metal biting into his flesh, causing the bleeding he had been experiencing earlier. Despite that, he had insisted on coming to this meeting, even going so far as to threaten to crawl out of the hospital room. He now sat in a wheelchair, looking like he hated every minute of it. Deep shadows were present under his golden eyes, demonstrating the stress of what he had gone through not hours before. He had been forced to change out of his bloodied uniform, and was now back to wearing his usual attire, with the exception of the leather pants, replaced with a pair of loose black slacks, the cloth slackening where his missing leg should have been. Alphonse also looked pretty rough; his armor badly dented and although his face was unreadable as always, one could clearly see the slump of his shoulders, betraying his own weariness. Alex rested on the couch to their left, the boys refusing to let the other out of their sight, despite Mustang telling them that Alex would be with a doctor that he explicitly trusted. His clothes had also been destroyed, and he was now wearing a spare set. 

Mustang inwardly sighed, trying to decide where to begin. He decided, for the sake of the two unfamiliar with the history, to start at the beginning. "The Ishvalans were a race of people to the east of us," he began. "They believed that their god Ishvala was the one absolute creator. Because of this belief, they saw alchemy as an abomination, a sin against nature. Even after they were annexed into the country, there were still many conflicts between us and them, causing a great resentment of our presence. Then, thirteen years ago a soldier accidentally shot and killed an Ishvalan child. And that led to a full blown civil war…" Mustang closed his eyes, remembering the strife. "After that, one uprising led to another, soon spreading to over the whole eastern sector. After seven years of this, an order came down from the high command…to exterminate Ishval. Many state alchemists were brought in to act as human weapons. Needless to say, the state alchemists produced striking results." The words felt ashen on his tongue, and an old guilt rose within him, but he pushed it down. He moved on. "That man is an Ishvalan survivor. In a way, his revenge is justified."

"Bull," Edward suddenly said, breaking the silence that had held over the others in the room. He grit his teeth in anger. "There is no justification in getting revenge on people that had nothing to do with it. He's just using the mantle of his god to justify murder."

"Still," Mustang said, "he's coming at us with full force. We can't let ourselves be killed for his cause. Next time, there will be no talk. Take him out on sight."

"Yes sir," his men chorused with a simultaneous nod.

"I don't envy you," Hughes said, not looking away from the street below. "This is one nasty customer." He turned around and looked to the boys. "Well, Edward, Alphonse? What are you guys going to do now? What's the plan?"

"Well," Ed said, looking up at Al. "First we need to wait for Alex to wake up. Then I have to get my automail repaired. I'm no good to anyone like this…" He glance down at his body and then quickly looked away. "There's no way we are giving up."

"Resembool?" Al asked.

Ed nodded. "Yup. It's been a long time, but there is only one mechanic in Amestris I trust to work on my automail." He smiled, thinking of the pretty blonde. He hadn't seen her since she had come to visit, almost ten months ago…still, he would have liked to visit a little more dignified than he was now…

Mustang stood up. "Everyone, go home and get some sleep. We've got a lot of work ahead of us. You boys get better. You have three weeks, but see me before you leave. Dismissed." A series of salutes and 'yes sir's later, the room was empty, leaving the colonel to his thoughts.

The black haired man massaged his temples, trying to relieve his headache. His entire body ached and he could already feel the stress beginning to make his stomach hurt. He would make sure that Scar would be his assignment and stop him before he killed anyone else…And also, the red stones. Why were they in the watch. He pulled out his own silver watch and stared at it contemplatively, sorely tempted to break it open as well. But someone–someone with power– had put them there, and to let on that he had discovered this fact may put them in danger. No, he had to go about this subtly.

He sighed wearily, thinking of all the work ahead of him. No time to rest though. He rustled through the box of Edward's automail and grabbed the pieces of his watch, along with the accompanying red stones. He looked at the gleaming gems with mild disgust before placing them on his desk with the other pieces. Best to keep them with the watch for now, so as not to arouse suspicion. He drew a careful transmutation circle on his desk with a piece of chalk and moved the pieces to rest on top of it. With a flash of light, the watch was restored, the capsule and the red stones held safely within. 

He picked it up, examining his handiwork. Under close scrutiny, the watch would not hold up, but it would serve for now. He sighed, tired. He would give the watch back in the morning with strict instructions not to tamper with it again. It could be dangerous if anyone found out that it had been opened…but that was tomorrow. For now, he needed some sleep. Mustang walked out of the room, flicking off the light and shutting the door, leaving the watch on his desk to gleam innocuously in the moonlight.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Roy have a heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys tired of reading the show verbatim? Are you ready for some divergence? Me too. Have fun, kiddies.

“Mmmmn,” I groaned, nuzzling down into the soft warmth surrounding me. Liking the feeling, I nuzzled again, stretching out my whole body and allowing the soft surface below me to caress my bare skin. Aaahh…When was the last time I slept? It had to have been weeks…a loose hair tickled my face and I scrunched my nose, trying to fall back into the blissful state I had missed so much. But my mind refused to shut down again and allow me that coveted peace. Regretfully, I opened my eyes slowly, shaking off my sleepiness, and took in my surroundings. 

The guest room at the Hughes' house again. We must have stayed another night…

I sat up on the bed, riding out the initial wave of vertigo. To my surprise, it was actually late evening, disorienting me further. The setting sun reflected an orange light off the buildings across the street and into the dark room. That was strange…why was I asleep in the middle of the evening…? Then again, when did I fall asleep at all?

…I couldn't remember. Whatever the case, it seemed to have done me a world of good. The strange craving and fatigue I had been experiencing ever since Xenotime–no, ever since Lior, if I was being honest with myself– had eased and my veins were buzzing with endorphins as if I just returned from a refreshing a run. I felt...satisfied... I shook my head, not really having the mental capacity to examine that at the moment, and took stock of my body.

I was shirtless with some comfortable loose fitting slacks and no shoes. I shivered slightly in the cold air that filtered through the opened window and scanned the bare room for my jacket. It wasn't there…I dumped out my bag, but I couldn't find it, nor my spare clothes. My weapons were also missing. 

Alarm trickled through me and my hand shot up to my ear. I sighed, relieved to find that the earring that the boys had given me was still there, the metal cool and reassuring on my fingers. Okay…so I was missing some stuff…what exactly happened?

I sat back on the bed slowly and crossed my arms over my cool chest. Closing my eyes, I tried to recall the last thing I remembered clearly. Ed and I were going to Central Command…Al wanted to go to the library for some reason…The colonel..I wanted to spar…that large guy with the sparkly eyes…the chimera…

The chimera! My eyes snapped open as my mind flooded with images. My heart pounded in sharp percussions as I remembered our flight, Basque Grand, his blood going everywhere! And then being chased by that lunatic with the white hair, stones falling…!

My hands ran frantically over my body, shaking badly and flinching over every inexplicable span of unmarred skin. I  _ died!  _ I had been crushed by a falling building! You don’t just-just  _ heal _ from that! The pain I remembered nearly caused my lungs to seize. But I felt not a single blemish on my skin nor pain other than the phantoms going through my limbs. It had all happened so quickly that I hadn't the time to even think of a single regret. I remember hearing Alphonse call out to me, but then I was…gone. After that,  _ nothing. _

Was I dead?! Was this all an elaborate illusion? But that couldn't be right, I mean, I could feel my heartbeat, and the cold in the air and the floorboards beneath my feet. Dead people couldn't feel, last time I checked. 

So I was alive. But why? How? Had we somehow gotten away? What happened to that guy?

Questions buzzed in my mind loudly, the room about me warping slightly in my rushing confusion. I needed to find someone to tell me what was going on. Where was everyone?  _ Where were my brothers? _

I walked swiftly to the door and threw it open, striding into the hallway. I could hear voices down the hall coming from the living room, so I headed that way. 

Movement caught the corner of my eye from a dark doorway to my left and I startled, a cry building up in the back of my throat. But then I realized it was just my reflection from the mirror in the hall bathroom.

I shook my head, trying to fight back the climbing panic. I was starting to lose it…I glanced one last time at the mirror, a bit abashed.

I froze. 

Walking forward slowly, my limbs shook to the point of incapacitation, but I forced them to move.  _ Please _ let that just be my imagination…some sick illusion. I couldn't see properly because of the dark, but my eyes...something was wrong with my eyes. I flicked on the light switch…and screamed.

Staring back at me was my reflection, but it was all wrong. My eyes, usually a bright forest green, were the color of blood, and with the fluorescent combined with the freakish color... 

I looked…like a monster. 

No…! I slammed my hand into the mirror in fear, and to my surprise, it shattered violently in a shower of glass, my hand nearly breaking through the wall. I pulled it back immediately, and the force was such that I stumbled back and slammed into the wall behind me. I slid down slowly, cradling my damaged hand in shock. I was bleeding, shattered glass piercing through my skin. I stared paralyzed at the destroyed wall, breath coming in sharp gasps of fear. 

"What the hell…?" I whispered, my voice trembling.

Suddenly, the small bathroom was filled with concerned and alarmed voices and I startled. Alphonse burst through the door. He gasped in surprise and stared first at the shattered wall, then at me.

"Alex?" Alphonse said, moving towards me. I flinched and he paused, catching sight of my hand. "Alex, you're hurt!" He moved towards me again, but I unconsciously cringed away.

"Al! What the hell is going on!" Edward shouted from the hallway. He pushed inside and paused, eyes open wide with shock, taking in the scene.

I stared at my older brother, momentarily forgetting my pain in surprise. He looked horrible. He was wearing an outfit similar to mine and I could immediately see that his automail arm was completely gone. He stood heavily against the doorframe and as I scanned him over I was stunned to see that his automail leg was replaced with a white plastic prosthetic. There were deep bags under his eyes and he was covered in cuts and bruises as well. I glanced over at Al, noticing for the firt time that looked just as banged up. What the hell had happened!?

I jolted out of my thoughts as a tingling sensation from my injured hand ran up and down my arm. With bewilderment, I watched as it glowed a bright red and the skin nit together before my very eyes in a crackle of lightning. Glass tinkled to the floor, pushed from my wound, the sound startlingly loud to my rushing ears.

I had been healing quickly ever since I had absorbed the red water in Xenotime, but it had still taken a couple of weeks at least to heal a wound like that. This–this was inhuman. This shouldn't be possible…! I began hyperventilating, pupils contracting in a haze of red. "Wha-wha-" I gasped.

"Alex, calm down…It's alright…" Alphonse said slowly, holding his hands in front of him non-threateningly. Edward was staring at me, but was making no moves towards me, just standing by the door with an inscrutable expression.

"Alphonse…" I gasped, "What the hell happened? I–I was dead! I remember dying! There was no way I could have survived being crushed like that…"

"You didn't," Ed finally spoke. I turned my panicked eyes towards him, my breaths stilling in stunned silence. He pushed off the wall and began limping to me, his prosthetic leg causing him to lean slightly to the left. It was too small for him…

"You did die. I watched the light leave from your eyes…" He collapsed to his knees before me, the fake limb folding under him awkwardly. When he regained his balance, he looked me in the eye, his usually bright golds dimmed in pain and sadness. He lifted his one hand towards my face. "I'm glad you're awake…You've been sleeping for days…"

I shied away from his touch as well. "Then how am I alive? What happened to me…why am I–" I was going to say 'more freakish than before', but the words caught in my throat.

Edward moved his hand away guiltily and glanced at Alphonse. Al nodded, and Ed took a deep breath before looking square on. "The man who was chasing us…he killed you. The only way to save you was to give you a red stone."

For several moments, the room was completely silent as I took in the news, my face frozen and my breath caught in my throat. I stared.

Edward shifted uncomfortably under my gaze. He looked to Alphonse for support, but our younger brother did not take his attention from me. Eventually, Al spoke. His voice echoed tinny and wavering in its attempt to be comforting, but his words could not comfort me. "Alex, it was the only way. You weren't breathing, and your body was half crushed–"

"Shut up." My voice rang harshly through the small bathroom. Edward and Alphonse both flinched back at my angry tone as it echoed off the walls. My face scrunched in anger and I ground my teeth in disbelief.

"You promised…" I whispered, betrayed. He promised…!

"I know, but–" Edward tried, but I cut him off harshly with a violent gesture of my hand, red eyes boring into his gold ones. His breath caught.

"No!" I shouted. "You said you wouldn't let any red stone near me ever again! What gives you the right!?"

"Alex, be reasonable–" Alphonse tried to interject.

"You shut up!" I cut him off, my angry red gaze turning to the suit of armor. "You  _ knew _ how terrified I was of the red stones and you went ahead with it anyway! All that talk about trust? Bullshit!"

"Ah." Alphonse stepped back at my ire, and even from across the room I could feel his hurt. But I was too angry to care.

"Don't blame Alphonse," Ed said, anger seeping into his voice as well, although it was more defensive than anything. "It was my fault. I found the red stone–I did it to save you!"

"Oh, I know," I said, growling. "Everything is your fault.  _ You _ were the one who ripped me from my home and destroyed my life.  _ You _ were the one who couldn't protect me, and  _ you _ were the one who broke his promise. I would have been human and happy but I'm not! I'm some inhuman freak and it's all. Your. Fault!" I sat panting when I was done, glaring a hole in the floor. Silence met my words and I looked up, prepared to continue fighting, then I saw the expression on Edward's face.

Ed sat back, his mouth gaping open in silent surprise. His eyes though…they held so much pain and hurt at my words that my anger drained away like a sieve and I suddenly realized what I just said. "Ed…I…"

Ed suddenly looked down. He grimaced and his eyes narrowed. "So that's how you really feel," he whispered,  voice thick with emotion. His eyes suddenly blazed, and if I could have I would have taken a step back at the fury I saw there. "I did it to save your life. I refuse to regret it. You can blame me all you want, but don't you  _ dare _ blame Alphonse!"

Anger rose within me again as quickly as it had fled, red hot in my chest and burning my eyes. "Maybe I would have preferred to die!" Anything would be better than becoming this–this inhuman thing!

"Alex…!" Alphonse gasped, and Ed bared his teeth.

"Stop it! Don't you ever–" He grabbed me roughly by the shoulder, and we both shuddered and cried out in surprise.

Edward's emotions slammed into me and I could feel it all–his anger, his fear, his regret and his pain–all of it swept through me like a blazing fire and I almost blacked out at its intensity. Edward grimaced in surprise as well,  his grip on my shoulder becoming painfully tight, bruising my skin. It was exactly like the first time I had come into contact with Alphonse, the emotions overwhelming.

Alphonse shouted at the both of us. He called out as Edward and I were frozen, and Hughes burst into the room, immediately taking in the scene but unsure of what to do either.

The emotions whipped through me like an out of control forest fire. Edward had nowhere near Alphonse's control, and his wild emotions threatened to consume me. Suddenly it was all too much. With a scream I shoved Edward away from me. When our contact ceased, it was like a bright light had been shut off and my mind was once again settled into comforting darkness. I panted harshly and opened my eyes. 

Immediately, I wished I hadn't.

Edward lay crumpled against the wall across from me, his head hanging low and a trail of blood streaming down the side of his face where he had struck the hard tiles. Alphonse and Hughes crouched over him protectively, shouting his name in alarm. "Ed!"

"Ed…?" I whispered.

Hughes looked over his shoulder and pointed at me. "Don't move an inch," he said harshly. He looked back to Edward and began to try to rouse him. Ed groaned and opened his eyes, finding me and fixing me with a shocked gaze. "What…?"

Alphonse, seeing that his brother was okay, rounded on me. "Why did you do that!" He shouted.

I flinched, curling my arms around my stomach defensively. "I–I–" Tears fell down my face and I trembled. No…I… I stood abruptly. Ed must have seen what I was planning, because he struggled to stand as well, despite Hughes' protest.

"Alex, wait–"

But I was no longer listening. I shook my head violently and fled, leaving my brothers and Hughes behind. I blew down the stairs and past a startled Gracia, who dropped a cooking pot in surprise. I could hear Nina calling out my name as I bound past the living room, but I pressed on. I couldn't let her see me like this...! I slammed open the front door with inhuman force, nearly tearing it off its hinges, and ran into the darkening street, golden in the sunset.

My heart roared in my ears as my feet propelled me down the nearly abandoned streets with no way of knowing where I was going. I just had to get away. Away from myself, and away from people who I could hurt.

_ Dangerous. _

_ Monster. _

I grit my teeth and panted harshly, running even faster. I rounded a corner…and slammed into into someone, sending me careening back with a harsh influx of yet another foreign set of emotions. I gasped, shuddering and doing my best to close off my soul from the unwanted intrusion.

"Hey watch it–" An angry male voice said. "Wait–Alex?"

My head jerked up to see the man I had run into was none other than Colonel Mustang, for once changed out of his normal military blues and wearing casual clothes: a white button up shirt and black slacks. He looked disheveled and bewildered, sitting on the ground where I had knocked him. 

“Roy,” I gasped.

As I looked at him, his eyes widened and I was startled to see a spark of fear there as well. I averted my gaze, a sharp stab of  _ hurt _ infusing my chest. I knew my eyes were disturbing, but to have even Roy Mustang flinch back from me in fear…A few more tears fell down my face as I squeezed my eyes shut tightly. I turned away and ran in the opposite direction. I didn't want to end up hurting him too!

"Hey, wait! Alex!" Mustang called out behind me, but I continued to run blindly. I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle my healing powers, my strange empathy powers, my inhuman strength…and I couldn't handle the fact that I had hurt Edward and Alphonse, both with my words and my hands. I was a sick monster who needed to be caged like the chimeras in Tucker's lab. 

I couldn't handle it…so I ran.

* * *

 

Roy Mustang stood slowly and brushed off the back of his pants where he had struck the ground, staring after the young man who had bowled him over. He had not expected to run into– _ literally _ –the young man who had previously been dead and brought back to life on his way to a date. Last he’d heard, Alex was still unconscious. It looked like he’d left in a rush, if his state of undress and his distress was anything to go by.

And those eyes…Edward had warned him that that might be the case when he awoke. He said it had happened last time Alex had come in contact with the red stone…but it had still been a shock. For a second he had looked Ishvalan, and Mustang had reacted as he always did when he saw an Ishvalan. 

With fear.

It wasn't that he was really afraid of the race of people. Scar excepting, they were not a threat per-se, nor particularly violent. It was the pain of the memories that they brought. 

But Roy saw the hurt in Alex's eyes when he recognized the colonel's fear and Roy realized his mistake, much too late.

"Shit." Alex was clearly distressed about something. Maybe it was how the stone had affected him? Roy couldn’t say for certain, but from what little he had gathered from Fullmetal and Alphonse, Alex resented the effects of the red stone, and something bad had happened when he came in contact with it before...And now Alex was running away, from both him and his brothers, it looked like. Looking at him like that was the exact wrong thing to do.

"Shit," Mustang said again. He looked calculatingly towards the restaurant, trying to determine if he could catch up with his newest informant later, and then back at the retreating boy. He sighed. Definitely more important. Just as Mustang was about to lose sight of Alex, he took off running in pursuit, cursing his choice of formal shoes.

He pushed himself harder. He could just imagine the look on Edward's face if he let Alex run off alone and somehow get hurt or lost. Plus he had that supposed stalker...Dammit! Those three boys were causing him more trouble than they were worth. Why did he recruit them again...?

Well, that and...the young man had somehow become someone Mustang–dare he say it–cared for. When had that happened exactly? Had it been when they met and Alex had seemed so mature for his supposed age, a mystery to ponder? Or had it been when he had finally told Mustang the truth, Roy becoming the only one in Amestris who knew the whole story

Or maybe it was when he saw him dead on the street and all Mustang could think was 'we could have been friends.' Whatever the case, Mustang wasn't about to let an underage boy gallivant the city at night by himself. Not without his weapons, which were still sitting beside Mustang's desk, or even a pair of shoes, dammit!

Ahead of him, Alex stumbled around another few pedestrians and rounded a corner, disappearing out of site. Mustang cursed and tried to speed up again, but he had been chasing the kid for five minutes at full tilt and he was getting tired. Was he getting old? He was only 29! But Alex wasn't slowing down at all and he couldn't deny he was falling behind.

Finally, he rounded the corner paused, panting. 

It was a rail yard. Shipping crates and rusted, unused train engines lined the old iron tracks along the gravel ground. Mustang looked around carefully, trying to spot where the wayward boy had gotten to in the lengthening shadows of the evening. He took a few crunching steps forward and froze, spotting Alex several yards ahead leaning against a shipping crate. He could see that the boy was trembling and paused, considering. Alex had not noticed him, and if Mustang startled him, he could take off running again.

Before Mustang came to a decision, Alex crouched down and scooped something up from the ground that the colonel couldn't see. Then he sank to his knees before heavily leaning back against the shipping crate, his profile all Mustang could see. Clutched to his bare chest was the small chimera Roy had seen the boy with before. Without prompting, Alex began speaking to the creature.

Roy stood still and listened.

* * *

 

I ran…and ran. I was running from my unwanted powers, from what just happened to me, from what I just did. But the images kept flashing through my mind unbidden and unwanted. I saw Edward's anguished face as I shouted and railed and blamed him for things I no longer blamed him for. I saw Alphonse's flinch when I threw our bond in his face. And then I…

_ Monster! _

I barely missed running into some strangers as the word rang loudly through my head like the worst curse. They protested loudly but I was deaf to them as I stumbled drunkenly on, looking inward. I had done something I promised myself I would never do. I lost control, and I hurt Edward as a result. His face covered in blood and his shocked eyes…And Alphonse's and Hughes' accusing voices.

_ "Why did you do that!?" _

I burst out of the street and lurched as the ground turned to gravel beneath my feet. Finally, I came to a stop beside a large rusted train crate, leaning against it heavily. Even though my body didn’t need it, I was breathing harshly in panic, and even though I trembled badly, I didn’t feel tired at all after running for who knows how long. The ground blurred as my emotions and terror threatened to overwhelm me.

"Mew…"

I jumped at the soft noise, looking around dazedly. Walking towards me was the small chimera that had been following me, and I watched with a feeling of unreality as it approached. It stopped and waved its paws in the air beseechingly like a child that wanted to be picked up. "Mew…"

Very carefully, I bent down and with the lightest of touches I could manage, terrified I would crush it, I lifted it from the ground and pulled it to my chest. Instantly, I could feel…something. It wasn't like the emotions of humans I had experienced so far, but more of a basic group of desires that I felt from the beast. I almost dropped it in surprise, but its base emotions of desire for food, to mate, and to sleep and be petted soothed me, distracting me from my own raging emotions for just a moment. A few tears escaped my bloodshot eyes and I sank down to the ground, racing heart calming. I wondered vaguely if I was projecting my emotions to it as well, but it didn't seem affected. Maybe it didn't understand or animals weren't capable of such complex feelings. Whatever the case, I was glad it wasn't running from me, or looking at me in fear and disgust. Like Edward…like Roy….

"I've done something unforgivable," I mumbled to the small creature. It merely mewed softly at the sound of my voice and cuddled into my arms, stealing my warmth in the darkening evening. Its scales were cold against my chest. "I hurt him…I promised myself I would never hurt them with this freakish body…" Red eyes flashed in my mind and I flinched from the memory of my monstrous reflection. "But…" I leaned my head forward, pressing my face into the little chimera's smooth scales, " _ he _ promised too. He promised me that I would never have to come in contact with the red stone again. He lied…" Cold wind blew through the rail yard where I sat and I shivered violently. I abruptly remembered my state of undress and finally realized the temperature was dropping swiftly. But I couldn't bring myself to care.

"Now because of that, I will never be able to relax again, because I can't sleep…I will never be able to let my guard down because if I do I may kill someone…and I will never be able to touch anyone again because I’ll be forced to feel their emotions…I've become a monster…" I leaned my head back and stared at the now dim sky, starlight beginning to peak through the black. Crippling resentment and self-pity surged through me at what I had become. Edward's face flashed in my mind. "I hate him," I rasped. I love him. "He broke his promise…turned me into this…" He saved my life. "He stole me from my family to fulfill his own selfish desires…" He gave me a new family, and a new life. "I'm miserable because of him…" He and his brother, and everyone in this world have given me happiness…

My head started to pound painfully as my conflicting emotions besieged my mind. I could feel the tenuous strength I had been clinging to the past few years begin to crack and tear at the seams. "I want to go home…" I whispered, so quietly I could barely hear my own voice. I closed my eyes and tried to see the face of my mother, but there was only a haze of chestnut hair, and then Izumi's face flashed before my eyes. I shook my head violently and tried again. I tried to imagine the face of my father, but I could only see black hair on a receding hairline and a pair of outdated glasses before Orkan's lopsided grin overtook my vision. I began panting harshly and my eyes blew open wide, although I could see nothing. "No…!" I struggled to remember the faces of the friends and family I loved, but I could barely see them through my memories of this place. 

In one last desperate effort, I tried to remember the face of my lover and the face of the child I had dreamed of. My lover had black hair and dark eyes…he had strong hands and a strong jaw…he was calling my name, but I couldn't hear him…! And the child…It was nothing more than a blur in my peripheral. My breathing came out harshly, and I vaguely registered that I was whimpering loudly with every breath. My lover in my mind's eye called out to me and reached towards me, but I couldn't reach him.

"-lex! Alex!" My eyes snapped down from the blackening sky as a loud male voice broke through my consciousness and the face of my lover was obliterated by the image of Roy. His dark eyes bore into mine and his deep voice called my name in an identical way as the specter in my mind. I stopped breathing as the image of my lover faded into darkness, and reality settled around me once more.

"Roy…?" My voice trembled. Mustang crouched in front of me, hands hovering as if to grab my shoulders, but he did not touch me. His brow was furrowed in concern, a grimace pulling at his thin lips.

"Why are you here…" I whispered. I looked away from his eyes, remembering the fear he had shown for my own.

"I followed you."

"Why?" I said shortly.

Mustang paused and remained silent. I smiled bitterly. "Get away from me. I'm dangerous. Just leave me here…"

The colonel sighed and sat back heavily on the ground. "I can't do that." I didn't move or react to his presence, hoping that if I ignored him he would go away. He didn't. "Alex, you are not a monster." My eyes snapped to his furiously and I did not miss his slight flinch at my gaze. I laughed mirthlessly.

"Then why are you afraid of me?"

Mustang sighed and ran one of his gloved hands through his short black hair. "I'm not afraid of you, Alex. The color of your eyes just brings back memories."

I shifted my gaze to the ground again. "What do you mean…?"

"I…" Mustang glanced around and then scanned my lightly dressed form. "Let's not talk about this here. Come with me." He stood and held out his hand for me to take.

I shook my head. "You don't want to touch me."

"Because I'll feel your emotions," he said calmly. My eyes widened in surprise. Had he felt it when I crashed into him?

"How did you…"

"I was listening."

My mouth closed slowly, not quite sure what to do with that information. I glared, but he did not retract his hand. "Then you should know that not only will you feel my emotions, but I will feel yours. And I have absolutely no desire to go through that." I looked down bitterly. "I never want to be touched again…"

"You’re lying," he said matter-of-fact, and I tensed. "You may say that, but you’re desperate for someone to reach out to you." I shook my head in denial, but even as I did, I stared longingly at his extended hand. He was reaching out to me even though he knew what I was…

He sighed. "Alex, even if you can endure the cold, I don't think that little chimera is quite as resilient."

With a shock, I looked down at my chest and the little creature that was clinging to me. I was shivering violently, and it seemed like my body temperature was not enough to keep it warm. I had to get it inside…

Mustang moved his hand slightly closer to me and I looked up, considering. I couldn't got back to the Hughes', not after what I had done…Sadly, I didn't think I would ever be able to return. Mustang was offering me asylum for the moment, but after he learned that I had assaulted Edward, he might change his mind. It would be better to just run…the chimera shivered against me, and I clung to it tighter, still careful not to crush it. I sighed inwardly and then nodded. This little guy came first. Ignoring Mustang's hand, I stood up on my own. No matter how much I desired the touch of another, I did not want to experience what I had felt with Edward again. Mustang may have been calm, but my mental state was far from stable. 

Roy pulled his hand back slowly, accepting my choice, and gestured for me to follow.

As he turned and walked away from me, his white shirt the only bright spot in the dark railyard, I felt a pang of regret for not taking the hand he had offered. It felt like I had missed an opportunity somehow, like I would never be able to take that hand again. By rejecting his hand, did I somehow reject him? Did he see it that way? If I needed it, would he ever extend that hand again? Especially once he learned what I had done…I cursed myself for my fears and weakness as he walked away from me, trailing behind him slowly. 

I looked at his broad shoulders and a sudden crushing loneliness overtook me, hand reaching out unbidden. I froze just before I came into contact with the back of his shirt and dropped my arm. I shook my head and suppressed the feeling. What was done was done. I followed him down the cold streets of Central, trailing three steps behind silently the whole way.

* * *

 

Mustang brought me to his house, a surprisingly small two-story affair set in between two other units. It reminded me of the Hughes' house, only a bit smaller. Huh, I would have thought a lieutenant colonel would make enough money to get something a little nicer. And he was an alchemist to boot…

Mustang opened the door and gestured me inside, and I walked in listlessly. Immediately I was engulfed in a comforting warmth that seeped into the limbs I had not known were frozen. I shivered gratefully as Mustang closed the door behind us. 

The doorway opened into a surprisingly spacious living room, and I had to take back my earlier assessment that Mustang was not making much money, because inside was a luxurious pad of beautiful mahogany furniture and sparse, yet masculinely stylish decor. To the far left was a intricately carved stone fireplace surrounded by plush leather couches over a embroidered throw rug. The rug had a crest that looked like a wave of fire surrounding a fierce station. I smiled weakly. Such a narcissist. To my right was a long bar that separated the living room from the kitchen, which had black stone counters and cherry-wood cabinets. The open floor setup looked surprisingly modern for a early 20th-century-esque houses I had seen so far. A staircase led up to a second floor.

Roy stumbled blindly behind me, and I turned curiously. He squinted, groping for the light switch which was right in front of his face. For a moment, I was confused: did he need glasses or something? But then I realized that the room was pitch black, dark curtains drawn and preventing light from entering the house, even though I could see perfectly. 

Mustang was just a human, so he couldn't…Depression swept through me once more and I deftly flicked the switch that Mustang couldn't seem to find with a heavy sigh, throwing the room into a soft golden glow. Mustang blinked in surprise at the sudden return of his sight, straightening.

"Thanks," he said, looking slightly embarrassed. "I just had the first floor remodeled, so sometimes I still…wait how did you see it? It was pitch black…"

I looked down, avoiding his eyes. "Your place is beautiful. Do you live alone?"

Mustang nodded, going along with my change of subject. "Yes. We won't be disturbed here." I shivered again and Roy gave me a onceover. "You’re freezing. Go take a hot shower."

My brows lifted. "No, that's ok, I'm fine."

Mustang rolled his eyes. "Take a hot shower, Elric. That's an order."

My mouth dropped open. "What! I'm not a soldier! You can't order me around."

Roy smirked and leaned forward, getting uncomfortably close, close enough that I could feel his breath on my cheek. "If you won't be good and follow my orders, I could always join you and make sure you get warm…" he threatened.

I blushed to the roots of my hair and stepped back, shocked. But then he chuckled and I realized he was joking. I smiled tentatively at what I'd come to recognize as our usual banter, and found myself comforted. "You would like that, wouldn't you?" Roy only smirked smugly. 

I sighed. "Fine, but hold this little guy. I don't think he'd appreciate getting wet." I foisted the little chimera onto the colonel's chest and it clung to him immediately. Mustang flinched, bewildered, hands twitching and clearly fighting the urge to grab the creature and throw it across the room. The little chimera crawled up his chest and curled around his neck, nuzzling as the taller man shivered visibly. 

I snorted at his expression. "Bathroom?" I asked.

"Up the stairs and to the left. Towels on the counter," Mustang grunted, still looking disconcerted at the little animal on his shoulder. I saluted and headed up the stairs, leaving the colonel to figure out what to do with my little friend.

I flicked the light on and closed the door behind me, finding myself in a nice bathroom with tile floors and a large bath. I looked up slowly and gazed at myself in the mirror. Red eyes stared back at me forlornly, tear stains streaking down my cheeks and expression miserable. I looked away bitterly and began undressing, not wanting to face my reflection any longer. As the hot water ran down my back and through my hair, I tried to clear my mind for just a moment. I took a deep breath…and tried to imagine my mother's face. Long chestnut hair and smiling brown eyes came to me, and I sighed in relief. My memories were still there…for a while, I immersed myself in my past, and let the hot water warm my frozen limbs, even if it couldn't warm my frozen heart.

* * *

 

The second the boy walked up the stairs, Roy's brow furrowed seriously. First thing's first, he had a phone call to make. Ignoring the little animal on his shoulder, he strode across his living room and picked up the phone. Something big had happened to make Alex run like that, and he was going to find out what this 'unforgivable' something was.

He brought the receiver to his ear and listened as it rang twice. It clicked and Hughes' voice sounded at the other end.

"Hello?"

"Maes. What the hell is going on?"

"Well, hello to you too, Roy. I'm assuming you found him?"

"Kid ran me over on the street. He's with me now."

Hughes sighed, tense. "Be careful, alright? He might be dangerous."

Mustang's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean? What happened?"

"I'm not exactly sure, since I came onto the scene a little late. Alex woke up after two days in a coma-like state and we heard a crash. The boys went to investigate and began fighting. By the time I got there, Alex and Edward were in a deadlock, and then Alex practically threw Ed through the wall and then ran off."

"Is Ed alright?" Mustang said, alarmed.

"A slight concussion, but he's fine."

"What does Ed say happened?"

"Nothing, neither he nor Alphonse will talk to me. They've shut themselves in the guest room."

"What do you think?"

Hughes heaved a sigh. "I think that kid is scared. He seems to have developed some kind of super strength or something. He punched a damn hole in my bathroom wall! Whatever Edward did to him the other day, he's not taking it well. He looked terrified."

For a few moments, Roy remained silent. So…the unforgivable thing was injuring Edward after misjudging his strength…That was why he was running, or at least part of it.

"Roy? Should I tell the boys that Alex is with you?"

Mustang snapped out of his thoughts. "…No. Knowing them, they'd probably try to sneak out and find Alex on their own. Scar is still on the loose, so make sure they stay there. Just tell them he's safe and do me a favor? Try to figure out exactly what happened."

"…Ok. I'll do my best. And Roy?"

"Yeah?"

"Be careful."

Mustang hung up the phone, the receiver clicking quietly through the room. What a mess. He was starting to get the picture now. He tried to line up what he had learned in his head.

One: something happened, probably in Xenotime, where Alex was exposed to the red stone and lost control. It changed Alex in some way, and the young Elric resented it. Not being entirely human was clearly bothering him.

Two: Edward made some kind of promise to protect him from the red stone, and then broke it to save Alex's life. 

Three: Alex was clearly terrified of his own power. Worse, he actually lost control and hurt Edward, which will only heighten his fear and make it more likely that he will lose control again.

Aaaand those three issues just barely scratched the surface of what was really going on.

Mustang pinched the bridge of his nose. What a damn mess. He sighed resignedly, knowing what he would have to do if he wanted to keep those three Elrics from doing something foolish. Since when did he become a damn psychiatrist for all these messed up kids anyway? He glanced at his phone, wondering if he should call Riza for backup, but shook his head. No, Alex was a loose cannon right now, and for some reason or other, he trusted Roy. Bringing in another party might make him clam up more.

Roy looked at the clock on his wall and groaned at the hour. He turned and trudged tiredly into his kitchen to pour himself a drink. Whatever the case, the colonel would have his work cut out for him. He needed alcohol if he was going to get through this with his own sanity in tact. Lord save him from ridiculously overpowered and over-dramatic hormonal teenagers.

A half hour later, and Roy was beginning to wonder whether he would have any hot water left. Finally, Alex trudged out of the bathroom, releasing a wall of steam, wearing the clothes Mustang had left for him. Since they belonged to the older man, the white button up shirt and the slacks were loose on the boy's frame. His hair was pulled back over his left shoulder and it dripped on the white shirt, making it cling transparently to his skin. He looked around listlessly before spotting the colonel on the couch in front of the fire, sipping a glass of ambre liquid and staring into the flames. 

Roy watched out of the corner of his eye as Alex hesitated before padding softly down the stairs to join him. He sat on the couch adjacent from the colonel.

"Thank you for letting me use your shower," he mumbled, tugging at his overly large clothes self consciously. He was avoiding Mustang's eyes, and inwardly Roy sighed.

"You’re welcome." Wordlessly, he poured Alex a drink as well and placed it on the table in front of him, conscious of his desire to not be touched. Alex took it gratefully and took a long sip, looking unfazed by the strong drink, and Mustang was reminded abruptly that he was a lot older than he looked. Right...

Roy contemplated for a moment how he should go about this. Did he just come out and ask what happened? Or maybe he should just lay everything he knew out on the table. That would probably force Alex to talk…But it might also make Alex upset and try to run off again…hm…

While Mustang pondered, out of the corner of his eye, he could see Alex glance at him several times and opening his mouth as if about to say something before quickly looking away.

"You can look at me, you know," Mustang said, not taking his gaze off the fireplace in front of him.

"My eyes disturb you," Alex disagreed softly.

Taking a drink, Roy nodded slowly. "…Yes, they do. But not for the reason you think."

"Then why?" Alex finally lifted his gaze, red irises gleaming in the firelight. Roy met them unflinchingly, careful to hide his usual reaction. 

Mustang considered whether he should say anything further. His past wasn't nearly as painful as it used to be, and he had talked through it several times with Maes, but it was still a sore subject that could bring back his nightmares if he delved too deep. But he could also see the value of opening up first. Alex probably felt exposed and raw, and needed to be shown that that it was possible to get through this. 

In fact, Mustang could almost see Alex as a younger version of himself. Oh yes, Mustang knew what it was like to fear your own power… 

But would a kid–no, he reminded himself again, sternly. Not a kid. Alexandria was only a bit younger than himself. Who knew what things she’d seen, what she’d been through. He blinked several times, allowing his inner eye to shift until the idea of her–of him–was firmly in place.

"Several years ago…" he began, baritone filling the room softly, "I was involved in a war. It was called the Ishvalan rebellion." He looked into the fire and could almost feel the hot desert air brushing his face as he opened a door that he usually kept under lock and key.

"Ed mentioned that before…" Alex mumbled. Mustang nodded.

He briefly described how the war began while Alex listened silently. "Several years of senseless bloodshed later, they sent in the state alchemists. They ordered us to exterminate all of Ishval." Alex gasped. Mustang leaned forward and laced his fingers together, looking down at his hands. "I am responsible for the death of thousands," he whispered. Hundreds of terrified ruby eyes flashed before his fingers poised to snap in his mind, but he forced them down. He finished his story with difficulty. "The fire alchemy that I had so cultivated through years of hard work and passion, the alchemy that I had dedicated my very soul to learning and obtained through great personal loss, was suddenly a horrific curse, a weapon of mass murder."

Mustang grit his teeth and forced himself to take a deep breath. He looked straight into Alex's red eyes. "That's why your eyes disturb me. Ishvalan eyes are red." The boy stared at him, mouth agape. An old fear surfaced then, the fear of judgement from another that he had long thought he had gotten over. He shook it off. This wasn't about him, but about Alex. It was time to make his point. "I thought I was an inhuman monster for the longest time. I thought that because I had power, I was cursed to do only evil with it…It tore me apart. I wanted to run away…and I almost pulled the trigger."

"How did you hold onto your humanity through all of that?" Alex whispered.

Mustang sat back and stared at the ceiling. "I looked up after the war was over, and my victims lay charred at my feet, and I saw the Fuhrer standing over the soldiers, looking down. I thought to myself: If I had been standing where he was standing, would any of this have happened?" Old anger and resentment rose within the older man. "I resolved that one day I  _ would _ be the one standing there. I found my purpose that day. I would become the Fuhrer and make damn sure that something like that would never happen again." The room fell silent, save for the crackling fire and the slight clink of the ice as it melted in Roy's glass, each occupant within their own thoughts.

"You found your purpose...and it saved you..." Alex said slowly, eyes reflecting the fire. The irony was not lost on Roy.

"What you've done isn't unforgivable, not even close. Edward and Alphonse will forgive you. But will you forgive them? Or more importantly, will you forgive yourself?"

Alex flinched in surprise, but then he shook his head with a rueful smile. "How is it that you always know everything?"

Mustang threw his arms over the back of the couch, leaning back. He let his eyes fall to half mast and said with all seriousness, "Because I'm God."

"Pft." Alex snorted and let out a soft laugh, finally giving Mustang a genuine smile and Roy preened on the inside. "You are so full of it, oh future Fuhrer King. You  _ would _ decide to take over the whole damn world to fix your problems."

"Well, not the  _ whole _ world," Roy said, putting his hand to his chin and taking on a thoughtful expression. "Just Amestris...although..."

This pulled another laugh from Alex, and then the two fell into a comfortable silence, Alex giggling every once in awhile. The little chimera, which had been resting on Mustang's shoulder the whole time, woke up and yawned, looking around blearily. It spotted its chosen master across the room and jumped from the colonel's shoulder. It sauntered over to Alex's lap and curled into him, purring loudly. Alex smiled at the little creature.

"You're here to stay, aren't you, little guy? I guess I should give you a name..." Alex glanced around the room, looking for inspiration. He was pretty sure it was male, so it had to be something cool..."Well, you've managed to track me all this time...so how about 'hunter'?" He looked over to Mustang. "Hey, what's another word for 'hunter'? That just doesn't sound cool enough."

"Well, in old Amestrian, before the reform, it was pronounced Jäger."

"Ye-ag-er?" Alex tried the name on his tongue. He said it a couple more times before smiling. "Yeah, Jäger, it's perfect." He pet his new friend on the head, and Jäger purred louder.

"So," Mustang said after a moment, "what now?"

Alex paused in his ministrations, a deep frown on his face. "...I don't know. After what you've told me, my problems seem insignificant in comparison." He smiled ruefully and glanced up at Mustang. "I'm being overdramatic, aren't I?"

Roy shrugged one shoulder and looked at the ceiling, as if to say 'well...'. Alex snorted. "Alright, alright. I may have...overreacted. Ed did save my life after all...but if this episode has shown me anything, it's that I need to learn to control my new abilities."

"...I might be able to help you with that." Mustang said, lifting his gloved hand with the transmutation circle on it. Alex looked at it curiously. "Fire alchemy takes an incredible amount of physical as well as mental control. If I make one little slip, one little lapse in judgment in the amount of power I put into a single transmutation, I could end up consuming an entire block, or even myself. As a result, I have to train religiously or risk an explosion. I could teach you my methods. It doesn't really matter how physically strong you are in control training." He grinned, "You can even call me 'master'."

"Ha ha," Alex deadpanned, but he frowned thoughtfully, considering. "I might just take you up on that. But...there's something else I have to do first." Mustang tilted his head. "You've given us three weeks, right?" He nodded. "I think it's time I visited some old friends of mine. I need..." Alex didn't finish, but Mustang could imagine what he meant.

"What about Ed and Al? Will you be going alone?"

Alex nodded, although his expression relayed that it caused him great pain to do so. "Yes. I don't know if I can handle seeing them right now...I still feel betrayed...and guilty...and afraid."

Roy opened his mouth to speak, but Alex lifted his hand and stopped him. "I know. But saying I should forgive them and myself, and actually  _ doing _ it are two different things. I just need a little time."

The colonel nodded. "What should I tell them?"

"Tell them that I've gone to see my master, and I'll meet them in Resembool in two weeks time. And tell them...I'm sorry."

"You should tell them yourself." Alex just shook his head. Mustang sighed. "Well, you can't go in those clothes. In the morning I'll buy you some new ones, and some travel gear since it's clear you refuse to go back to the Hughes'."

"Wha–no, this is enough, really–" Alex said, embarrassed.

"Oh? As far as I know, Edward carries all of the money for the three of you. Are you really saying that you're going in  _ my _ clothes?" Roy lifted an eyebrow.

The boy blushed, much to Mustang's amusement. "Um...no, but–"

"And how were you going to get there, by running? Train tickets cost money too, you know."

"Yeah, but–"

Mustang rolled his eyes. "Just accept my help, kid."

"Don't call me kid!" Alex exclaimed, smile dancing on the edge of his lips. "Yeah, alright, you great bastard. Thanks. For everything."

Mustang sat back smugly. "Don't make a habit out of it, kid. I don't want people to think I'm going soft. I'm going to be Fuhrer someday, you know."

Alex just smiled softly. His blond hair, dry after all of the talking, gleamed golden in the flickering firelight, the dim light setting his face in soft shadows. In that moment, his red eyes no longer looked quite so menacing to Mustang. Roy cleared his throat and looked away, staring back into the flames. He threw the rest of his drink back in one gulp and leaned back wearily. Truth help him...

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of scene shifts in this chapter. Hope it flowed alright. 
> 
> How's it reading so far, are you guys having fun ;)


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